From the looks of things the villians are all in the pyrmiad and was orginally going after the not so friendly ruler of the universe although now I'm confused to who they are going after and why... But aparantly Boones have joined the villians, um Ryan is now the lone wander and is in the villians wepon cache. And I don't have a clue what Jakemen and I are doing, but we are damn well doing it!! OH and Grim and Chell have hooked up, sam is the new Grim, and grim is the new Professor Badassington or something >.>
THERE ARE NO HEROES... I mean, none of them are posting except me, who's decided to ally with the villains to defeat some greater threat, though for the life of me I don't know what that "greater threat" is.
THERE ARE NO HEROES... I mean, none of them are posting except me, who's decided to ally with the villains to defeat some greater threat, though for the life of me I don't know what that "greater threat" is.
A little girl with a large syringe walked up behind Isaac and hid behind his legs. "New people... I don't like some of them, Big Brother..." Isaac picked the little girl up and held her. "Don't worry~ Big brother will keep you safe~"
And a girl with large breasts and green hair tackled emo Sam. "YAAAAA!~"
Yoshi stared at the new Shrike, all weird and internet-y. ?Two things, one I didn?t call you. Two, Miss Glados is over there, tinkering with your doodad. Oh, and ONE MORE THING! Be very, VERY careful with rule 34 of the internet. VERY CAREFUL!? AS the Shrike was about to reply, he was cut off by the abrupt appearance of a glowing red portal, ripped from the very fabric of time and space itself. A very battered looking ODST stepped through the portal, his MA5B Assault Rifle at the ready. ?OH GOD DAMMIT! I DON?T WANNA BE BACK HERE!!!? The ODST screamed as the portal closed behind him. He turned, and took in his new surroundings before introducing himself to the people before him. ?Hi there, my name is Sergeant Jakeman, and I?m back! Well, not entirely, you see, in this form, I am the good version of Sgt Jakeman. I seem to have been sent here to rally some Hero?s, and oppose the Villains! So, I have the power to summon anything from the Halo universe through a time-space portal. Let?s see now, we need transport first, then a base of operations to get some more people, and then......?
Jakeman motioned behind him and a gaping black hole opened up, spewing forth a pelican dropship. ?All aboard! Let?s get to a base!? Jakeman shouted as he ran up the ramp to the pilot?s seat. Yoshi didn?t really know what to do, but this newcomer seemed reasonable enough, and he had a purpose. So, Yoshi went over to Miss Glados and grabbed her, leading her into the pelican and onto a seat. The whole time she continued to tinker with the Shrike?s little doodad thingy.
?You comin? Shrike?? Yoshi shouted as the Pelican?s engines roared to life.
<spoiler=OOC>So, I've resurrected my old character but this time good, and we shall become the NEW HERO'S! THE VILLAINS SHALL HAVE THEIR ENEMIES! Oh and Roamin11, can we call GLaDoS 'Miss Glados' now please? It's easier to type, and she is a *new* being now after all. I love how this RP kinda got sad for a while, and now everyone is back!
Oh, and bad luck with being the emotistical punching bag of the villians Sam. You can come back to the good side if you want!
The Shrike stood looking at him... *A soldier huh?* The Shrike began focusing back on his old dimension.
"Soldier of another universe I have something for you if we are heading out for battle" with that the Shrike conjured the FORCE multi-assault rifle.
It was as ugly as it was a beautiful killing machine. Matte-black. It was multipurpose, it had a 18-mm plasma rifle, a variable beam coherent-energy weapon, grenade launcher, BHEE-keeper (beams of high energy electrons), a flechette launcher (a pod that is fired that breaks into thousands of micro-needles that will rip flesh to tatters), a wide band blinder, heat seeking dart flinger, and not to forget frictionless blade bayonet.
"This is... Really... Complicated" said the ODST looking at his new toy
"Its kinda simple, plasma does what plasma should, you got a laser beam, a grenade launcher, a laser blast, a anti personal weapon, a very big and hot and mean flashlight to blind the bad guys, heat seeking darts, and the bayonet will cut through nearly anything like... Well the same way I cut through anything" If the Shrike could right now he would be beaming with joy.
The Shrike walked up to Miss Glados, "And I need to take this from you I'm afraid kiddo, but after all this is over, I will give you a toy that will make you the happiest quantum AI humanoid in this universe!" The Shrike went to pat her head then looking at his serrated paw thought better to not do so.
"Alrighty Jakemen!! Lets get this into gear and haul ass and blast blast!!!" The Shrikes dark green eyes returned for a slight moment as he boarded the ship, but now he was less concerned about his outbursts.
Tiesel was knocked back and landed on Sam G from the energy panther "ouch, what was that for?!" He yelled at Chell, he got up and dusted himself off "while revenge and teamwork would be nice, I have a job to do. There's some kind of indeterminate treasure and if we can get a hold of it we can actualy afford fresh parts for the machines" he noticed he was getting a glare from The Stig. "Oh yes, and of course pay some of our hard workers salaries. And by the way, it's 'Bonne' not 'Boone' I can hear the diffrence you know so get it right!"
The Stig simply crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, watching how this all would go down.
The Servbos were busy with some more equipment and maps, looking to get any kind of headway to where the treasure is.
"Bonny's a girl's name!" Sho said and started laughing.
"BONNE. IT'S BONNE GOD FUCKING DAMMIT." Bonne said.
"Alright dude... Just chill..." Xandus said.
"Hey Sho, guess what happened to me today!" Grimm said smugly.
"Ugh... The memories... They BURN." Sho cried
"The sting of life is ultimate sadness..." Emo Sam cried to himself while cutting the words "PAIN IS LIFE" into his arms.
"You're a bit of a downer..." Grimm mumbled. "BUT I'M NOT BECAUSE I-" But Sho cut him off.
"I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU SAY IT, I WILL KILL EVERYONE HERE. DON'T FUCKING TEST ME." Sho screamed.
"Hehehehe... Sho's jealous." Grimm said with glee.
Sho walked over to Grimm and snapped his wrist. "Your annoying." He said walking away.
"MY WRIST!" Grimm cried.
"I'll help!" Chell said and licked his wrist in an oddly seductive manner. The rest of the group proceeded to vomit anything remaining in their systems.
"I got it!" shout Chell
"what may I ask have you got." asked Bonne
"a treasure." said Chell
she fired her portal gun behind bill gates, and reach her are into a second portal, taking his wallet.
"Here we go one million dollars in cash." said Chell putting the wallet back
While all that was going on Grimm was braging to Sho and had his wrist snapped.
See above for details
Teisal finshed dry heaving and took the money. "Cash huh, not what I was hoping for but it'll do for now" Bonne said as The Stig walked over and took half of the money out of his hand. "Fine, you got your pay now, happy?" He asked him, The Stig just nodded and went back to leaning on the wall.
The Servbots looked up from their machines, excited over something. "Master Teisel, machines are picking up an energy source a few floors down. I think that's what we were told about" another one looked up from a map it produced "an entrance is behind that emo kid over there" he said, poiting to Sam.
"Oh I see what you're doing, holding out on me eh? Well heres this, you dont try and stop me and I wont have us all bombed back to the stone age, got that!" He yelled as he hoisted Sam up by his arm and threw him a few feet away, all while Sam was trying to sing along with My Chemical Romance, reveling a conveniantly placed ancient and operating elevator.
"Just another sad part in my pitiful existance..." Emo Sam moaned as he hit the ground
"Oh, what fresh hell is this...?" Sam mumbled to himself, glancing around at his surroundings. He was at the very end of a hallway, and all along the walls were paintings all of the same man; a gentleman wearing a white business suit, with shockingly well-nurtured hair and a frightening grin on his face. In some of the pictures he was holding a sheaf of paper, in some a fountain pen and a small pot of ink; in some pictures he was accompanied by one or more of his minions, and Sam realized with a shock that some of the minions in these pictures were people he recognized; his friends, even...
Sam stared down the hall, and saw something sitting on a pedestal at the opposite end. He shuffled (in the manner of a heavily-injured emo) closer to the pedestal, trying to get a better look at what was on it, and noticed that it was a small white box. Reaching out his one unbroken arm, Sam pressed the button on top of the box, and immediately a small screen appeared on top of it. There was a delightful little chime noise, and some words appeared on the screen.
Input command phrase
"Uh... life is hell?" Sam tried, attempting the first thing that came to his head. The little box chimed happily, and all of a sudden, started to change shape. Within a few seconds, it had transformed into a sleek silver version of the emo kid standing before it, complete with a silvery fringe dropping over both eyes and the carvings etched into his arm.
"I see you've come across my iBloke," a man standing at the other end of the hall said. At a glance, one could immediately tell it was the same man who was depicted in the paintings. Corporate Man. "Hello there, Sam."
"Oh, it's you... yet another misery life's thrown at me..." Emo Sam mumbled, crouching down and curling into a ball. The machine standing in front of him, disconcertingly, did the same.
"Hmm... you know, I always liked you, Sam, so of all the people I had to test this on I was hoping it wouldn't be you, but... something seems off about you today. There's just something about you that really makes me want to watch you die. Hey, iSam!" Upon hearing its' name, the machine's ears pricked up, and it turned its' head to look expressionlessly at its' master. "Destroy."
"No, wait, hang on a minute." Sam, without looking up from his knees. "Before I'm finally released into death's cold embrace, there's something I want to ask you; if god-moding's off-limits in this building, how are you able to be here? You're the most overpowered character in existence, with the exception of Rag, the Auditor and possibly me when the mood strikes..."
"Ah, yes. I requested that Bill turn off his little field for this section of the building, so I could come by and visit occasionally." CM cocked his head to the side. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, you don't say..." Sam muttered, grinning. In a blinding flash of light, his clothes and hair regained colour, and he reached both hands into his bag before pulling out two large handfuls of weapons and throwing them at the iSam. The device responded in kind, billowing its' arms out to the sides, and a huge number of blades flew out out of its' sides and into its' hands. The two Sams rushed forward and clashed, and one of the most epic battles in history commenced.
The lone wanderer couldn?t resist upon hearing cheating was allowed he activated the Console commands, he spawned the Experimental MIRV
"SAM LOOK OUT IF I MISS, I'LL HIT YOU!"
Sam decided it was best to duck; sure enough 8 mini nukes flew straight toward C-Man, at which he used his ridiculous G-powers to imitate that scene from the Matrix, dodged all the bombs which blew up hall of bill gate's second floor.
"Well time for plan B, please excuse me."
With that the Lone wanderer ran out to execute
PLAN B
Sam, Sammy and C-man fought, the house was slowly getting wrecked as the rivals did epic battle.
They fought for an hour, ending up in a massive room which had been set up like a gourmet recipe the lone wanderer was there dressed up a waiter.
"Good evening sirs would you like to sit together or separate?"
"Separate." said C-man curious as to where this was going.
Their water then sat them at tables Sam got a seat by the window while C-M was close to the center of the room.
"Now Missuer Corporate what would you like to drink?
We have a fine selection of water, wine, vodka, whiskey and even Nuka Cola. We just had a shipment of the new Nuka Cola Quantum."
I'll have some Wine."
Sam decided to order a Nuka cola he then passed them a menu
Sam ordered the Mole rat steak
A fine mole Rat steak marinated in the nectar of a fire ant, giving it a spicy with a taste of sweetness.
Meanwhile C-man had the biggest item on the menu Death claw Delight
the tenderized shoulder of a death claw has been finely roasted and marinated in the finest juices (Psycho, Jet and Buffout)
He also ordered the Mirelurk Soufflé for desert.
Sam had his order first as the roasting of death claw took lots of preparation,
When his meal finally came it was on a covered platter. The lone wanderer bowed and went to the kitchen.
C- Man lifted the cover to find a massive deathclaw enraged and snaring at him.
Sam went into the kitchen for safety.
"I certainly won't be using that supplier again. He forgot to kill the Deathclaw.
"Why is it so deranged?' asked Sam
"Probably the 5 needles of psycho jammed in its back, he got really cranky after that"
After a few hours Sam and the Lone wanderer observed the damage, the death claw had gone back under the cover, C-m was unconscious ad his soufflé was on the table undisturbed.
"Weird don?t those things break from loud noise?"
"Usually.' he said which caused a Mirelurk hunter to burst out of the soufflé roaring waving its claws.
"He?s already out you can go back to sleep."
The mirelurk shrugged and went back into the teeny soufflé bowl.
"Yoshi we need to talk about Miss Glados. Shes not like other people and she will need a lot of coaching, she may be human but she still has a almost empathic link to technology." "At times she may have the ability to like comunicate with any unactive Aperture, and some active Aperture sciences items. So just try to upset her aound any Aperture sciences turrets... like the one she is cuddling with now..." Said the Shrike
Suddenly and out of no-where, the iSam flew straight into the large bird, slamming the two of them into a wall and leaving Sam's line of sight free to see his old friend. "Sid..." Sam started running towards the gross insect-mummy-thing in slo-mo, and he responded in kind. They met in the middle of the floor and embraced, all six of Sidoh's arms wrapped around Sam's body. "I missed you, buddy..." The iSam flew back over their heads, tossed the bird to the ground and flew down after it, slamming into it with its' head. Bits of bird exploded outwards everywhere, a large splash of blood landing on the floor at Sam and Sidoh's feet in the shape of a heart. Aaawww...
"Well, this seems like as good a time as any to get something done that I've been meaning to for a long time..." Sam muttered. He scurried over to the table where he and Corporate Man had been dining, and hopped on top of it. "Ladies and gentlemen," Sam cried, addressing everyone in the universe. He flipped open his notebook, turned to the "awesome speeches" page, and started to read.
"My name is Sam G. In the absence of Ramthundar, I shall be leading the Heroes. The way I sees it, what we need is a quest. No, more than that... what we need is a fresh start." Sam snapped his fingers, spun around, jumped into the air and restarted the universe.
In a quiet meadow in a grassy field, Sam strolls through his land. He mighty person legs pound against the earth, because he felt like they should. He flexes his nonexistent muscles, giving the group of female goats a better look at his awesome blue hair. They merely giggled and hopped to the other side of the meadow.
"...No, that's taking it a bit far..." Sam undid his re-write of reality, and returned to the table he was standing on. "...Okay, I'm kind of new to this whole "universal refresh button" thing, so I'm gonna take a page out of my predecessor's book. Does anyone know "Joe's Bar"?" A few people nodded. "Well, okay; I want all the heroes to meet me there in a little bit, alright? All the villains, go meet up with Maddawg, he'll sort you out. All the neutrals, go kill yourselves; we don't tolerate your sort here. Is everyone clear on that?" A few more nods. "Very well then; away we go!" And with that, Sam flipped open his Temporary Door that he hadn't used since he regained his "Y"-chromosome, stepped through and ended up in the bar where all this madness had started. "'Sup, Joe? Give me something light; someone'll need to be sober if I'm dealing with this lot..."
Alright, you heard the me: all the goodies, get to Joe's bar and we'll start afresh. All the baddies, consult with Maddawg; he'll come up with something for you.
This is a means of letting new people in, old people rejoin, and getting an actual quest fleshed out, rather than the foolish running-around that seems to be happening now. I mean, you might be enjoying yourselves, but I am having major trouble following what's going on, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.
Again, if anybody has a massive problem with me doing this, let me know and I'll see what I can do about it. Otherwise, just try to have fun! Peace out!
Meanwhile, back in that place where everybody was, Corporate Man woke up. He noticed the iSam standing above him, and grumbled. "Hello there, my lad." The iSam didn't respond. "Alright, I want you to do me a favour. Leave me. Go and find... a certain set of people, and get them to join you. Then, find the son of a ***** that did this to me, and make him pay. Make him pay dearly. You got all that?" There was no point asking; the iSam registered everything. "Very good. Alright, now go. Track Sam down. All of him." The iSam nodded and set off through time, trawling back through the timeline for potential allies to aid him in his cause. The iSam's mission was clear; he had to destroy Sam, utterly. And who better to do that than he himself?
Though I'm sure what I say means nothing anyway, so far I've posted in this thread a grand total of
*drumroll*
six times.
But a reset sounds good so lets go with that, I had no idea what was happening right now so it's perfect for me.
Tiesel, The Stig, and the servbots took the elevator down the pyramid and found the source of the energy readings. "Sir, look at the size of that crystal!" One of the little yellow 'bots said, pointing to a massive floating crystal encased in glass. "Hooh boy, with the looks of that thing we can get some of the debt collectors off our backs, and maybe get one of my high-perfomance machines back!" He said giddily as he took an eager step forward, setting off the security system.
"Oh... damn it" he bemoaned as sirens started going off and automated turrets suddenly came from the walls while a iron shield suddenly covered the crystal from sight. The Servbots started to scream and run around in circles while the turrets opened fire upon the group. Teisel was doing his best to avoid fire while The Stig was simply standing there, the bullets seeming to curve past him. "D-d-d-dont just stand there, you got your pay now SO DO SOMETHING!" He yelled at the Merc, still dodging bullets. The Stig pondered this and produced ran up to the iron shield, punching through it and bringing it down, revealing the crystal. He shattered the glass and removed it, the turrets died down and suddenly a red light flooded the area.
"Well, now thats what I call services rendered. Now I see why I took you aboard" Teisel said triumphantly as grabbed the crystal from The Stig. "Way to go, sir!" One of the servbots said, The Stig just reached down and patted it on it's head. Suddenly a loud automated voice said
'SECURITY COMPROMISED, INTIATING SELF-DESTRUCT. ALL PYRAMID INHABITANTS AND TREASURE THIEVES NOW HAVE 3:00 MINUTES TO DRAMATICLY ESCAPE. GOOD LUCK'
With that a door slid open in the back of the room and a loud klaxon started going off. "Okay, three minutes to get out of here. Let's move!" He said, just noticing that the others already took off without him. "Wait up! I HAVE THE TREASURE!" He yelled as he ran out the open door and started his daring escape
In the drudgingly boring real world....
Anthony sat in front of his laptop thinking.
"Ugh... I need a new character... I'm bored of Sho... And I think everyone else is too..."
"I'm just gonna look through my games to find a new villain... Tetris, no. Zelda, no. Just Cause, no. Mario, GOD NO. Star Fox, no. Kingdom Hearts, no. Pokemon Red? Team Rocket isn't really playable... Wait... What if...."
In the AA universe that has more "Retries" than the original Kingdom Hearts...
Gary Oak sat atop his throne in his castle built out of gold and filled with women.
"I'm bored..." Gary sighed. "I think I'm going to find someone else's life to make hell!" And with that, Gary Oak set off on his adventure to be a massive prick.
Gary Motherfucking Oak. His powers? Being a prick, all the Pokemon, and guns because I like making posts with them.
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
