The Escapist Boss

[Fire Daemon]

So you log onto the Escapist one day, doing the normal stuff, when suddenly you realize that you now have the largest post count (all excellent posts), the longest time spent on the forums, the most well received person. You liked by all and treated with the utmost respect. The amount of fame you have gathered is beyond compare and may well possibly be a member of staff, or maybe not because you're so cool. In all aspects you have beaten The Escapist, you've won and the year supply of pretzels that comes with beating a website is nearly in your grasp. Nearly because you see, there's a snag. As this is a video game forum it goes without saying that there must be a boss for you to beat.

So what could this boss, for you, possibly be. Would it be the search bar, Yahtzee, you're dark self or maybe even a collection of horrors? Who knows what confrontation is awaiting you at the end. The answer is nobody knows, so it is time for you to speculate Escapist. What would you're www.escapistmagazine.com boss be? Would it be a tough boss fight or would it be easy? Do you think you are prepared for this encounter? Is it likely that you will even survive? Do you think that everyone shares the same boss or do we have our own?

Tell us what you think.

 

[fenrizz]

Interesting topic.

I'd have to say maybe Max the Reaper, bundeled together with the search bar.

 

[mikecoulter]

I think we each have our own boss. Mine would be my dark self. As he's hardcore. And I'm lovely.


¬_¬

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

I am going to beat with a rusty shovel anyone that says Max. (Too late)

I candidate myself for one. My inner demons and crap.

 

[ghalkhsdkssakgh]

Cthullu. Because every boss should be Cthullu.

 

[Labyrinth]

It would be me versus Ultrajoe. Banmop and Dominator. One Epic Fucking Fight To End It All. Nuke would be the commentator and a band consisting of Jim Doki and PurpleRain would provide the music.

Then paulguberman would laugh and the universe would explode.

This might go down at Escapism '09 II... just you wait.

People have different bosses, that's for sure. What one person sees as the ultimate end to all struggles isn't the same as what another person sees. I'm not sure that anyone would survive my scenario but I am prepared to meet Ultrajoe none the less. Never would a more difficult fight take place.

 

[megapenguinx]

Interesting topic.

I'd have to say maybe Max the Reaper, bundeled together with the search bar.

I am going to beat anyone that says Max. (Too late)

I candidate myself for one. My inner demons and crap.

Max isn't that hard to beat....

I'll go with static IP troll. He constantly comes back because you can't IP ban him. You'd have to think of some epic way of getting him to leave.

EDIT:

It would be me versus Ultrajoe. Banmop and Dominator. One Epic Fucking Fight To End It All. Nuke would be the commentator and a band consisting of Jim Doki and PurpleRain would provide the music.

Then paulguberman would laugh and the universe would explode.

Could we have it so once you beat Ultra Joe, he transforms into Ultra Josephine just for kicks?

 

[Lyri]

At the moment of the great Epiphany, the darkness rolls back and thunder booms all around you.
A small speck of light glimmers in the distance, dancing nearer and nearer with every passing second.
You cannot contain yourself and shout into the coming light.
"Show yourself Fiend!"
Prayers answered but at the cost of your mind as the Escapist Boss is revealed unto you.

The Harbinger of Nintendo, cradling the cartridge of shame to it's breast.
Superman 64!

 

[DrunkWithPower]

It's a series of whippings by the contributors of The Escapist.

 

[Nivag the Owl]

The Escapist Boss, I think, is the critter from ZP. He knows all your moves and has so many complex tricks up his sleeve that he's pretty much the guaranteed victor.

 

[megapenguinx]

The Harbinger of Nintendo, cradling the cartridge of shame to it's breast.
Superman 64!

I beat that game...... mind you I broke 2 controls out of anger, but I did beat it.

 

[Labyrinth]

Could we have it so once you beat Ultra Joe, he transforms into Ultra Josephine just for kicks?

EvilJosephine perhaps. That'd be especially fun.

No, I'm Sparticus!

 

[Lyri]

I beat that game...... mind you I broke 2 controls out of anger, but I did beat it.

You're a braver man than I.

 

[[Cold-Shoulder]]

Interesting topic.

I'd have to say maybe Max the Reaper, bundeled together with the search bar.

Damn ninja'd but great idea for a thread.
And for a smaller boss fight before Max would have to be a troll.

 

[Mariena]

I could instantly wipe the floor with you all, using my ponytail. I'd be the boss. Of course, I don't do that, because I'm so nice.

 

[Inco]

It would be me versus Ultrajoe. Banmop and Dominator. One Epic Fucking Fight To End It All. Nuke would be the commentator and a band consisting of Jim Doki and PurpleRain would provide the music.

Then paulguberman would laugh and the universe would explode.

This might go down at Escapism '09 II... just you wait.

People have different bosses, that's for sure. What one person sees as the ultimate end to all struggles isn't the same as what another person sees. I'm not sure that anyone would survive my scenario but I am prepared to meet Ultrajoe none the less. Never would a more difficult fight take place.

I'm sure some people will crawl out of the wreckage of this epic showdown...
Which beat my galactic cookie and flaming Squirrel....
My own personally would be a collection of people from the 'halo-haters', 'Christian-Bashers' and 'Twilight Bashers' (cmon,enough of that already! We get it, you don't like the fiction)

Then possibly an Epic Team Escapism AU09 I Vs Escapism UK09 Showdown.
As it was from Escapism that i started to really start to contribute to the site.

 

[Goldeneye103X2]

Well I'd face my past of terrible posts. But luckily, an ally with italian blood in him would help me. SCAMOLA! As italians we help each other, for our country!

But then again, i'm not popular enough to have a boss, so screw that.

 

[Arkhangelsk]

The boss should be a robot constructed by all the members of The Escapist combined. With MaxTheReaper and Neonbob as the heads. Their weapons will be the search bar, and they will have a flame shield. And their sidekick will be Chuck Norris. Or vice versa... Chuck Norris is never the sidekick. Some ideas came from this person.

Interesting topic.

I'd have to say maybe Max the Reaper, bundeled together with the search bar.

 

[Mr Companion]

Peter molinue, you should have to make him burst into tears. The search bar would be too easy, only stupid people loose to the search bar.

Either that or you must battle in wits with yahzee, you must do a more scolding review of yahzee than he does of you-

"Zero Punctuation takes place on some form of tiny yellow Petri dish that grows out of place phallic jokes, displayed to us as an incarnate of a messy power point presentation."

"Yahzee also permanently wears a trilby, presumably in case he must blend in with the American Mafia on short notice."

It would be like that boss fight in phychonaughts. Also I really hope the yahzee fanboys don't read all that stuff I just written or they might assume I meant it.

 

[traceur_]

A small rabbit. Those evil little things are always out to get me.