AHHHHH! I'll be good! I promise! (Don't hurt me because I can't come to Sydney, I'm poor!)Labyrinth said:
The Escapist Boss
- Thread starter Fire Daemon
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The big Boss would be either be A) a huge mob composed entirely of forum trolls who have been(or will one day be) hit with a Perma Ban or B) all the past and future Perma Banned people form a towering monster who's height makes Godzilla look like a midget. In either case evidence of the past bans, and replys to there ban worthy comments are increasingly evident. The primary weapons of the boss in situation A(mob of the banned) are swords maces and axes made of the words/actions that got them banned, back up weapon is thier annoying nasaly voices that all unite in one horrible moment to shatter windows 1,000 of miles away. in case B(monster aka Banzilla) its primary weapon is razor sharp spikes on its hands and feet, the second is fire breath that is all but unstoppable. to defeat the mob of the banned you must fight your way to the center and activate the mythical ultra ban(the forum equivelant of a 1,000 ton thermo-nuclear bomb) and upon activating it either courageously allow the ban to take you out for the good of the forums or activate the ban steal your dream vehicle(what ever it may be) drive just ahead of the ban's shockwave like a badass with 20 gorgeous (and eternally grateful 
models somehow riding shotgun. To defeat B, you must scale the monsters back and plunge your blade into its only weakspot a red rectangle that says report on it, that you see is either on its stomach or its forehead. Upon slaying Banzilla, it falls to the ground in slo-mo in just the right way so your not crushed. After one last twitch it weakly cries out one last obscenity before exploding, melting, or disintegrating and you find the 20 gorgeous(and grateful models huddled together in whats left out its iron stomach. Either way your the hero and your loved/remembered forever with a bad ass monument to your memory sitting at the spot where you killed the boss. Only two out of three ways get you the 20 gratful supermodel, but even if you go out in a blaze of glory your a legend, whos story wil always be remembered
models somehow riding shotgun. To defeat B, you must scale the monsters back and plunge your blade into its only weakspot a red rectangle that says report on it, that you see is either on its stomach or its forehead. Upon slaying Banzilla, it falls to the ground in slo-mo in just the right way so your not crushed. After one last twitch it weakly cries out one last obscenity before exploding, melting, or disintegrating and you find the 20 gorgeous(and grateful models huddled together in whats left out its iron stomach. Either way your the hero and your loved/remembered forever with a bad ass monument to your memory sitting at the spot where you killed the boss. Only two out of three ways get you the 20 gratful supermodel, but even if you go out in a blaze of glory your a legend, whos story wil always be remembered
Oh, so you WANT my opinion here? Okay...
Here's the deal, I'd just be coming out of a climactic battle scene with Yahtzee - involving swords, because swords are cool - he reveals that he was never the true enemy, and that he was simply making sure I have the bollocks to handle what's behind Door Number One. To which, he backs WAAAY the hell off as the Do-Not-Open-Until-Doomsday Door opens up. Therein lies the horror...
The Escapist Monstrosity...
A mountain of horror, in which the base is made up of sickly-melded-together fanboys, millions in numbers who grasp and tear like zombies at the nearest fresh meat. On top of that, a huge armored chunk of moderators wielding the Ban-Hammer, Ban-Cannon, Ban-Scythe, Ban-Sickle (DO NOT SUCK ON THE BAN-SICKLE!), Ban-Bomb, Ban-Chainsaw, and all the ban-related weapons that were suggested before. Growing out of that is a massive humanoid body that is like a Fallout 3 Deathclaw with giant shoulder cannons and the cyber-baby final boss creature from Blazing Star growing out of its chest.
(And as a final, very last form, John Constantine from Hellblazer comics.)
Here's the deal, I'd just be coming out of a climactic battle scene with Yahtzee - involving swords, because swords are cool - he reveals that he was never the true enemy, and that he was simply making sure I have the bollocks to handle what's behind Door Number One. To which, he backs WAAAY the hell off as the Do-Not-Open-Until-Doomsday Door opens up. Therein lies the horror...
The Escapist Monstrosity...
A mountain of horror, in which the base is made up of sickly-melded-together fanboys, millions in numbers who grasp and tear like zombies at the nearest fresh meat. On top of that, a huge armored chunk of moderators wielding the Ban-Hammer, Ban-Cannon, Ban-Scythe, Ban-Sickle (DO NOT SUCK ON THE BAN-SICKLE!), Ban-Bomb, Ban-Chainsaw, and all the ban-related weapons that were suggested before. Growing out of that is a massive humanoid body that is like a Fallout 3 Deathclaw with giant shoulder cannons and the cyber-baby final boss creature from Blazing Star growing out of its chest.
(And as a final, very last form, John Constantine from Hellblazer comics.)
I never once thought that 4chan would be described as satin. Maybe burlap?GodsOneMistake said:
This final boss is trivially easy to beat if you ever read Hellblazer back in the day. I recall one sequence where John was confronted by a monster consting of four racists who had been bound into a single frame. Unforunately, one of the members supported one Football team and the other supported the rival team. Simply by pointing out this strage situation, the monster destroyed itself.FalloutJack said:
After fending off pro-Japanese rape game arguments from trolls for what seems to be an eternity, 4chan appears, wielding the search bar and thirsting for your blood.
I've read ALOT of Hellblazer, including that one, and I believe you are sorely mistaken. You do not fuck with John. For intents and purposes, he's the final-form boss that looks harmless enough and SEEMS easy enough to kill, but then you're screwed over faster than it takes to light up a Silk Cut, take a drag, and blow.Eclectic Dreck said: