The Fatality Game!!!

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ShockValue

Addicted to coffee
May 8, 2008
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ajb sits quietly at his desk, the only light coming from his monitor, as he tries to waste time as he gets ready for the coming day. All is quiet, except the sound of tapping coming from somewhere. His bedroom lights start to flicker slowly, quickining in pace every few seconds. Ajb quickly looks about his room, feeling a little paranoid, but trying to think of a logical reason fo the malfunction. The lights continue to quickly flicker on and off until the bulbs burst. Ajb is left in the dark, the monitor being his only source of illumination. The tapping sound continues, but seems to be getting louder and louder, getting closer to his door. His monitor goes black. A sudden creak is heard as his door is slowly opened, to reveal nothing. Ajb is panicking at this moment, he glances down the hall, but sees no one. Suddenly he hears what sounds like someone whispering. Ajb tries to shut the door but it won't budge, seeming as though it is held in place by someone. Ajb has had it, and runs as fast as he can and tries to get out of the house, but is suddenly stopped. His leg is suddenly gripped, and he is pulled deeper and deeper back into his house. However there's nothing that ajb can see that could be pulling him. ajb continues to be drageed for what seems like hours until he opens his eyes to see he is back in his bedroom. He can now hear the whispers.
"I don't like the look of this one, we need to finish it."
"No need, his mind is already gone, he hasn't even met the rest of us and he's done."
Ajb throw his head back and tries to shut out the all noise. All goes black. Ajb suddenly wakes to the rising sun. He comes to the conclusion that he just had a horrible dream,when he hears the horrible voices again. He can't no matter how hard he tries get them to go away. For months on end this continues and everyone he tells doesn't believe him. Ajb's mind continues to deteriorate until everyone thinks he's crazy, he's always talking about the voices they say. It is Auguest 14, 2009, Ajb sits alone in his room. He has had enough, he raise the gun to his head and pulls the trigger. All goes black.(Bleh)
 

DementedMonkeez

New member
Jun 12, 2009
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I go back in time, and infect your ancestors with aids, therefore destroying the entire line of men and women who created the abomination we know as you.
jk
 

ajb924

New member
Jun 3, 2009
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I unleash a horde of nuclear monkeys to dispose of you
[sub]Shouldn't have been to hard to infect them with aids, seeing as how your a monkey =P[/sub]
 

Symp4thy

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Jan 7, 2009
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I tie a bag full of water over DemonGuy's head and then set him on fire so he both drowns and burns to death simultaneously.
 

Admiral Arby's

New member
May 21, 2009
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I point out how Symp4thy's post wasn't very sympathetic at all, thus making him feel so guilty that years later he becomes an alcoholic, loses his job, and then commits suicide by hanging himself in his child's bedroom.
 

Fairee

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Mar 25, 2009
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Neonbob said:
It is night, and there is a gathering of people in a large, ornate house. They have all congregated for a special party. The occasion? Neonbob has just reached 8,000 posts, and this is an ego-puffing for him. The guests are:
Berethond, the eye of sarcasm and scathing wit; Daye.04, the instigator and teacher; ae86gamer, Neon's favorite female escapist; MaxTheReaper, one of Neon's favorite posters; Chefassassin2, the crazy cook; ShockValue, the co-head of a shared cannibal restaurant, and one of the three coolest Canadians on the forums; Guitar Gamer, a psychotic Canadian; NoMoreSanity, an acolyte of Max's, and a fun babbler; DementedMonkeez, one of Neon's friends in reality and an interesting person; Goatzilla, the boy who hates everything; Shapsters, another crazy canuck; Ta2ce, a forum game buddy who always seems to be smiling; Lost in the Void, the lawyer for the cannibalistic restaurant and a good man to have on your side; MasterStratus, the architect behind one of Neon's favorite threads ever; Madbird, an Australian madman who influenced the classic game; and NeoAC, another poster who was on some of Neon's favorite game threads.

It is early evening, and AE is in the kitchen, helping Chef with the night's meal. There are dead toddlers all around them, and they are busily cooking up a storm, creating culinary wonders for the event's guests. In the dining room, all the attendees save for Max have gathered in the lounge to watch tv and wait for the food to be presented.
About an hour later, the meal has been prepared, and it is wonderful. Roast leg of bastard child, Crab and Chris soup, and in the middle of the large table, a spectacular Stuffed Steven. With the meal done, everyone goes back to the den to relax again. It is only at this point that Max enters the dining room to eat, not trusting anyone at the gathering.
Their revelry is cut short, however, as the power to the den goes out. Calling on the resident electrician, Neonbob asks for some accompaniment down to the electrical room. Seeing nothing wrong with this request, Daye happily goes along to prove his expertise. As they go down the stairs to the breakers, Daye is still jubilant over the meal and fun that has been going on during the evening.

At last, the pair reaches the electrical room. Daye immediately gets to work and finds the problem quickly. One of the wires had been worn through, perhaps by rats or the like. He fixes the break in three minutes, and a cheer is heard from above. He lets out a shout of triumph, and then feels an impact in the back of the head, and blacks out.

He comes to, only to find himself strapped into some strange metal contraption. It's only purpose is to hold him in place and ground him, while his arm is forced into the power cable for the AC unit. The arm is calibrate to move very slowly, so Daye is fully awake and aware of what is about to happen to him. Panicking, he thrashes about, trying to get free. After exhausting himself, he hears a chuckle behind him.

It's truly an honor to have met you, Daye. But I expected you to meet your end with more dignity, said Neon.

What...why? I thought we were friends!

Oh, Daye...we are. That's why you get the honor of dying first.

With those words, Neonbob taped Daye's mouth shut, and then sat back to watch the unfolding fun.
The knife pressed up against the power line of the air conditioner, and then began to break through. Daye's eyes bugged, and then his body began to go into spasms as the current entered his body and began to electrocute him. His muffled screams and the sound of electrical shocks filled the air for a full minute, and then all that was left was the sound of electricity flowing through Daye's now cooked body. Smiling, Neon stood up, and went back upstairs to check on the rest of the guests.

When he was questioned about Daye's whereabouts, Neon simply replied,
Oh, he was enthralled with all the gadgets and the great setup of the wiring. He wanted to take a look around and see how everything interacted. I guess the learning never ends for him.

This answer appeased the guests, and the night went on. About thirty minutes later, a strange show came on, and Neon offered to help AE and Chef with the cleanup. They agreed, happy for the help.

While Chef cleaned off the table, AE and Neon were in the kitchen, dealing with the dishes. On one of Chef's trips to the large dining room, Neon asked AE to come over to the oven to see something.
What is it? she asked.

It looks like some baby fell off of the roast, and it's right on the third rack. It smells wonderful, Neon told her.
Enticed by the idea of fresh, piping hot baby still left in the oven, AE bent over to take a look, and that was when Neon shoved here into the oven. Shutting it quickly, AE was stuck, with no room to move and make noises. Chef walked back into the kitchen then, and asked about AE's whereabouts.

She had to take some of the bones out to the trash. You know how it is. They can't go in the disposal and all that, Neon assured him.

True. The damn things mess up the blades in there. It's too bad, Chef acknowledged.
That said, Chef placed the dishes from the dining room on the counter and turned to leave. As soon as Chef turned his back, Neon grabbed a cleaver and buried it in Chef's neck. Chef had no time to even make a gurgled warning to the rest of the attendants, as his spinal cord was cut right through. AE, stuck in the oven, saw the whole thing, and while Neon was busily chopping up Chef, she somehow managed to worm the door free and pop out. Wasting no time, she ran out the back door to her car, a custom with an engine she had worked so very hard getting more horses out of. As she ran out, Neon smiled, knowing what she was bound to try. He merely continued cutting up Chef into chunks, then stuffed him in the oven to cook for a while. he'll make a nice appetizer later, Neon thought.

Back in the parking area, AE started up her car and floored it out of the driveway. Seeing this, Max's caution grew. AE reached the main road, and began calling the police. It rang twice, and then a familiar voice came over the phone.
I'm glad you called, said Neon. I was afraid you'd forget a step or two in the obvious response to this occurance.

You bastard! I saw you kill Chef! How could you? she yelled.

Easily. I used a knife. You said you saw this, how is there any confus...oh, you meant how could I do that to someone who trusted me? Well, he said the thing that made him happiest in life was seeing the reactions that people had to his cooking. It was his highest calling to make good food. Well, I've just given him the highest degree of satisfaction possible. However, I'm afraid I cannot let you spoil this for me. I know how much you love your car, but I regret to inform you that there is a nail bomb in the driver's area. You have...five seconds to find it.

Shocked, AE didn't reply. how did he get it in the car? she wondered?

AE? 2 seconds, came Neon's voice.

AE finally snapped into action, and unbuckled her seat belt as she flung open the door. As she lept out, the nail bomb went off, and filled her back with shrapnel. As her car flew into a ditch, then went airborne right into a tree, AE hit the ground and rolled, each roll shoving the shrapnel further and further into her torso. On the third roll, a piece of shrapnel pierced her heart, killing her.

Hearing the crash over the phone, Neon grinned wickedly, and went back to the den. Naturally, the other guests were curious about the wellbeing of the two accompaniments, but Neon told them that Chef had cut his hand again, and AE rushed him to the hospital for stitches. When the other guests went to investigate, they saw the blood splatter, and were convinced.

Despite the others believing Neon's story, Berethond was skeptical. He asked MasterStratus and Ta2ce to accompany him to the garage, to verify that AE had indeed left. Upon getting to the parking area, he noticed the tire marks, and chalked them up to her haste to help Chef. However, as he and MasterStratus investigated the tracks, Neon snuck up behind ta2ce and punched his lower jaw clean off.

Picking up the lower jaw, Neon dragged the now unconscious ta2ce into the brush. Under the leafy cover, Neon used ta2ce's own jaw to strangle the life out of the ever-smiling man. This only took a minute, and then Neonbob went on to cut ta2ce's throat with a kitchen knife, just to be sure.

Now well aware of ta2ce's disappearance, Berethond and MasterStratus begin to cautiously walk back to the house and its perceived safety. However, they only get halfway back before they fall into a trap pit, which slides them both into a dungeon. Berethond comes off the slide more or less okay, but MasterStratus hits a wall on the way down, and is knocked out.

Berethond tries to revive Stratus, but is unable to. Sighing, he begins to walk off, when he hears a sliding noise. Curious, he peers into the slide/tunnel that brought him to the dungeon, only to have Neon's foot connect solidly with his face. Reeling back, Berethond almost passes out, but barely hangs on to consciousness.

Seeing this, Neon grabs up Stratus' inert form, and batters Berethond to sleep. Then, dragging the duo along behind him, Neon locks Berethond into a large chair. He takes MasterStratus to another room, where he puts Stratus into a ball of goop, and then puts iron weights on his ankles. The goop is oxygenated, so Stratus can breathe in it. Once Stratus is fully encased in the goop, Neon rolls the ball out a door and into the back yard, where a 15-foot deep pool is located. He pushes the goop and MasterStratus into the deep end, and then sits back to watch the fun.

Stratus comes to in a world of green, viscous liquid. As he looks around wildly, he notices that his legs feel oddly weighted. He looks down and notices the large weights. Thinking he is above water, he manages to swim out of the ball, only to be greeted by a mouthful of water. Instinctively, he retreats back into the ball of goop, where he notices that he can breathe. Mystified but relieved, he takes deep breathes to calm himself. Unfortunately, he doesn't notice the ball of goop dissolving as he breathes. When the water hits his forehead, he is shocked back to reality, and his panic kicks off. Trying to lift the weights, he only drags himself out of the oxygenated goop, and the balls shift to a point where he can no longer reach the air-giving goop. He then tries picking up a weight, and gets it a few feet off the bottom, when he slips, and falls. Horrified, he watches as the weight follows him down and pins him against the bottom of the pool. It crushes the air out of his lungs, and a short time later, he drowns.

After the bubbles stop rising, Neonbob stands, stretches, and returns to the dungeon, and the now awake Berethond.

Why are you doing this? Berethond inquires.

Hm. You're not panicking like the others. I wonder why that is. I suppose I'm doing this to prove something to myself. I'm not completely sure, to be honest. It might be because I forgot my medicine. Or maybe it's just that I felt like doing this, and the idea grew on me over time. In any case, you know what will happen to you, right?

You're going to kill me. Or try, at least.

Oh, there will be no 'try.' Neon said, as he pulled a lever off to his side.

What is that? Berethond asked as he hears a slight rumble begin.

Oh, just a little mechanism. I think you'll find it...interesting.
Neon opened the steel door, revealing a bulletproof sheet of glass in the doorway. As he did that, light entered the cell, and Berethond looked down to see thousands of little holes in the floor open up.

No. he whispered.

Oh, yes. This room took me a while.

Berethond looked back, and saw rows upon rows of incredibly sharp spikes of metal rising out of the floor. Numbed by the sight, he stood unmoving, until the first one pierced his foot. At that point, he looked back at Neon with a sad expression on his face.

I could have done better. he said.

Oh, I'm not that unoriginal. Neon replied.

The spikes stopped after they were only halfway into Berethond's body. Although he was horribly wounded, he was still quite alive.

Wh...what?

It gets better, Neon told him, a horrible smile on his face.

The spikes not impaling Berethond then recessed back into the floor, leaving a wide open room. Then, the ones he was impaled on slowly raised, until a flat piece hit his skin, lifting him off the floor. They then hit an angle, and he was leaned forward. Coughing up blood, Berethond was in too much pain to say anything back. The last thing Berethond ever felt was a gruesome twisting motion as the spikes all began to rotate, tearing his body apart.

Up in the den these four were still talking, at ease. The three Canadians were in a circle, conversing about...Canadian stuff, and Goat was a little to the side, hating everything.
[sup]Yeah, I know you're a canuck, NeoAC, but your time comes later[/sup]
As the Canadians continue their talking, Goatzilla walks off to the bathroom. Neonbob stops him halfway there, a concerned look on his face.

The other guests are disappearing. I haven't seen MasterStratus or Berethond since they left the house. We should stay in pairs.

Although he was suspicious, Goat agrees that it is a good idea. He failed to notice the bucket of blood that Neon had placed over the door to the can, however, and is drenched in the blood of the night's victims. Initially shocked, Goat recovers and laughs, thinking it to be nothing but a joke. That thought ceases the instant he steps into the bathroom and the floor gives way.

Landing about fifteen feet down, Goat looks up at the top of the hole, noticing how it sloped down to the pit he currently resided in. As he watched, a metal grate slid across the top, and Neonbob walked out onto it.

Quite a pickle you're in there, Goaty, Neon called down.

You asshole! What's this about?

Oh, nothing really. But as you should know, I love the screams of the dying quite a lot. Maybe you'll have more than Berethond.

I knew it! Nobody is leaving! You're killing us off!

Neonbob claps at Goat's astute observation.

Congratulations, old chap! You've won a prize!
With that, Neon flushes the toilet, and Goat hears a series of clanging noises all around him. Trying to discern the source, Goat peers into the darkness intently. After about ten seconds, he notices a set of glowing eyes looking back at him. Gulping hard, he looks around him and spots another three sets of glowing eyes in the dark.

Neon? What's down here? he calls back.

Oh, just the usual. You know...starved tigers? I'll bet they're thrilled to see you.

Goat's shoulders slump as he realizes his fate. The tigers pounce on him, and in seconds it is over. Goat's ruined body lies motionless, torn open by the voracious tigers. Neon pushes a button, and a solid floor slides into place as he walks back to the den.

On the way, he gets the pieces of Chef out of the oven, and brings them in.
Who wants snacks? Neon offers to the crowd.

Everyone grabs a piece of Chef, except for Shapsters, who abstains from the goodness.

You sure, Shap? They're really tasty. Neon tells him.
I'm sure they are. But I'm not that hungry, to be honest.

Oh. Alright then. Shame, this would have been easier had you eaten, Neon tells him as the rest of the group passes out from the drug contained in the pieces.

What have you done, Neon?! Knock it off!

Oh, I will. Just not yet.

Neonbob pulls out a death spider limb, grinning maniacally. Advancing on Shapsters, he whacks it into his palm with each step. When he gets within range, he takes a full swing, and the limb hits Shaps in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. Bent over, on his hands and knees, he cannot resist as Neon brings the limb down onto his spine, breaking it in half and paralyzing Shaps. Now that Shaps is completely immobile, Neon stabs the limb through Shapster's lower back, then threads it through his body at each bend of the limb. So, it weaves in and out of poor Shaps at three places. As blood oozes from the wounds, Neon arranges Shapsters so he is facing the limp forms of the other attendees. While bleeding out, he helplessly watches as Neon grabs Guitar Gamer by the ankles and drags him off to another part of the house.

Neon takes Guitar Gamer to a special room, made just for this occasion. Its biggest feature is a shallow pool, filled with maple syrup. Upon arriving in the room, Neon slaps GG awake, and throws him on the ground.

If you want a chance to live, get up, Neon tells GG.

Wha...what's going on? I remember some really good meat chunks, and then...wait...You asshole! You drugged me!

Three cheers for obvious man. Now, do you want your chance at life or not?

...what is it?

A simple question. Who composed the wondrous 13th symphony of Maudlin?

GG is speechless. His eyes dilate as he attempts to make up an answer.
Um...Beethoven? He guesses.

Wrong. I made that up. Sigh. I had hoped you would answer that correctly, Neon tells him.
But now I'm afraid you must die.

With those words, Neon kicks GG in the face, sending him flying into the pool of syrup. The instant his head goes under the surface, Neon hits a switch, which begins a process that rapidly changes the liquid syrup into a solid, locking GG inside it for all eternity.

Heading back downstairs, Neon hits another button which replaces a large painting in the den with the suspended body of GG. As he reaches the den, ShockValue is shaking off the effects of the drug when GG's corpse shows up. Taken aback for a second, Shock recovers and begins dancing, as the major competition for his reign of Canada has just been eliminated.

He is so intent on dancing that he fails to notice Neon walk up behind him until the fireplace poker is shoved through his chest. Stunned, he starts turning around when he is run through again, and this time his heart is on the end, still beating. Finally turning around, he barely sees Neon and begins to speak when he falls over and dies.

Since everyone else is still out, Neon takes the opportunity to do some decorating. He lays Shock out on the floor, face-up, poker still extended from his chest, and then, deciding to leave Shapsters as the lovely side poster, picks Madbird out of the group. Going to the kitchen, Neon grabs a first aid kit on the way. Operating carefully, he separates Madbird;s top and lower halves, makes sure to seal off the arteries that would normally make a man bleed to death, and then removes his arms and sews his legs together. This operation done, he carries Madbird back to the den, where he uses the now separated Madbird as the top part of an arrow, pointing to the back door.

Coming to, DementedMonkeez, hereafter referred to as Christian, spies the gruesome sight before him. Taking in the preserved body in art form, the impaled Shapsters, and the unfortunate arrow, his curiosity is piqued, and he follows the direction of the arrow. Feeling pressed for time, Neon made the decision to make this quick.

As Christian leaves the house, Neon drops down from the second story, crushing Christian's spine into dust. Still alive somehow, Neon just drags his body over to the pool, where he drapes Christian's lolling head into the water, and waits for blood loss and drowning to take their toll.

Running back to the den, Neon finds Lost in the Void up and about, taking in the sights.

I'm guessing you did this? Void inquires.

Yeah...why? I beat you to it?

There is that, but I was curious about the wills of the...ahem. Deceased.

Ah. You are too good a lawyer, you know that? Can you forge them?

Of course! I'm no amateur, you know.

Excellent. I'll give you half of their stuff if you keep quiet.

Deal,
said Void.

While Void began his task of forging wills, Neon walked off to the pantry, where he got out a vial of enhanced Ebola virus, and a needle. Filling the needle completely, he put it in an injector, and walked back to Void. Because Void was so focused, it was simple to walk up to him, jam the injector into his neck, and trigger it.

As the needle delivered its deadly payload, Neon smiled, and took several steps away. Void, confused at first, breaks out into a sweat. In mere seconds, he coughs up blood, and it also begins to seep out of his eyes, nose, ears, and all other orifices. As his temperature skyrockets, he passes out, luckily just in time to miss the worst part. As his organs liquefy, they are all leaked out of his body until he resembles nothing more than a skin tent.

Since Max didn't trust anyone enough to stay in the house, he missed noticing anyone dying. Still, he was lurking around the outside of the house in his longcoat, waiting for everyone to leave. While he lurked in the shadows, he noticed a kitten. It was so cute, and it looked right at him. But, when he went to pet it, it mewed, and walked off. Enthralled by the kitty, Max followed it around the corner of the house, where the kitty broke into a clumsy run, and entered a large shack. His warnings flared up, and he was about to go back to his shadows, when he noticed a very cute emo girl go into the same shack, and then what sounded like a live concert of Green Day started up. Though he doubted the band was in attendance, the combination of three great things for him was too much to resist. He ran to the shack, ignoring any attempt at stealth.

Bursting into the shed, he discovers what he thought to be a cute emo girl was a hooker in way too much makeup. This enrages him, and he utterly destroys the hooker, bathing in her blood. He is so intent upon killing the prostitute that he fails to realize that Neonbob has entered the shack as well. Picking up a mother cat, Neon grabs its tail, and twists it to make the cat start running in the air, claws fully extended.

Max hears the screech of the cat, and turns right into the running claws of the creature, and it lacerates his face. Blinded by blood and pain, he tries to escape from the shed, only to have his jugular slashed by the pissed-off cat as he passes.

Lurching on the lawn, Max makes it about twenty feet out of the shack before the blood loss finally gets to him. Passing out, Max bleeds into the sprinkler system, and the next morning the lawn is showered in his blood.

Back in the den, NoMoreSanity feels a disturbance in his mind. Quickly awakening, he stumbles out of the back door, and spots a body in the yard. Fearing the worst, he slowly approaches the corpse, only for his worst fears to be realized.
NOOOO! MAAAAAAAAX!
He cries. As tears run down his face, he catches a pair of shoes on the other side of the body in his peripheral vision. Looking up, Neonbob stands above him, holding an axe.

As NMS backs away, Neon uses the axe to cut off Max's left leg at the thigh. This desecration of NMS' god is more than he can stand, and he attacks viciously. Surprised by this, Neon is pushed back at first, and then recovers, going on the offensive. He swings Max's leg like a pair of nunchuks, and lands hits all over NMS' body, breaking several bones. Then, as NMS hits the ground, Neon folds the leg in half, and hits NMS in the throat with the knee, crushing his trachea.

Weary from the fight, Neon picks up the axe again, and enters the den to find NeoAC in the process of cutting up bodies himself. Smiling, Neon approaches, as if to give a hand. However, once he gets close enough, he swings the axe, and hits NeoAC in the forehead with the blade, neatly cleaving the top of his head off. As the last party attendee dies, Neon flops into a lay-z-boy, and relaxes in the sound of the fireplace.

And so ends the night of mayhem and murder. I hope you all enjoyed the read, and try to one-up me eventually!
That was amazing and brilliantly thought out. One major issue (which may have been dragged up before but meh) Max would not be interested in a cute emo girl.That is totally out of character for him.

Hmn, this may make me take longer to think about some of my milestone posts....

(Edit - oops, quoted wrong person *facepalm*)
 

Neonbob

The Noble Nuker
Dec 22, 2008
25,564
0
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Geek@Heart said:
NoMoreSanity said:
Neonbob said:
-bigass snip-
That was amazing and brilliantly thought out. One major issue (which may have been dragged up before but meh) Max would not be interested in a cute emo girl.That is totally out of character for him.

Hmn, this may make me take longer to think about some of my milestone posts....
Why thank you!
Surprisingly enough, I actually read that some of his weaknesses are tiny emo girls. :-D
He even admitted that cute emo girls probably would be his downfall X-D
 

Guitar Gamer

New member
Apr 12, 2009
13,337
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alright here we go my 1K post
Neonob: a cannibalistic batman that taught Guitar Gamer the way to bake people among other things, also co-owner of "the child inside you"

ShockValue: co-owner of "the child inside you" apparently cannot be weird ed out, we will see

Shapsters: competition for ownership for Canada, notorious for getting hit with deathspider limbs

gatzilla8463: hates everything

portal maniac: maniac for portal

ajb924: trying to rule the world, not to be underestimated

Vandirk: into wolfs and dark haired girls, Glocks and katana's are other points of interest

atv_chic_18: into atv's isn't 18, apparently creative

imacharginmehlazor: is charging his lazor, also appears to like toast

ae86gamer: is a high five enthusiast, REALLY LIKES HIGH FIVES!!!

Madbird-valiant: Australian person that appears to like sci-fi and ninja's

Spirulti ma: proud owner of PLAYSTATION 3,[fanboy comment] can't blame him[/fanboycomment]

this characters obsess the mind of the entity that is known as Guitar Gamer among other things best not mentioned here, some of the said persons deaths he has justified others his twisted mind deems worthy of release of their life and into his not so parell demention which he has appropriately named universe awesome. only s select few expect his coming, others shall not be aware until it's too late.

Neonbob was the definite first.He was too dangerous to leave to the last especially since that fiasco of his 8000th post DAMMIT it took a week to get the sap out of his clothes! there was many ways he could go about it, since Neon attempted to kill him using Canadian stereotypes, he could use American ones, he could go cannibalistic murder which might be too obvious, there was of course the option of killing him using his own methods which could become more rewarding but in the end a excuse to not have to think. He decided on a small mixture of all of them.
Neon awoke to the sounds of screaming, lunch wasn't staying quiet so he better quiet him himself, "please sir I.....I........................did it...........I made sure my brother wasn't poisoned.......*gasp* *starts crying* "good then, time for my midnight snack" such precautions were all to common by Neon as he knew there was probably a good number of people that didn't think that cannibalism wasn't all that great and would do anything to stop him " your brother didn't cooperate and so he got "the rack" but since you were such a good sport you'll be happy to know that you'll get a question on singularities to see if you live, I hope your orphanage taught physics" after a good meal and a cup of coffee Neon had a good 16 hour nap thanks to the slow acting drug used on the brother of the orphan.

Neon awoke in a padded room but with no jacket on, "good job, usually people are more direct with attempts on my life but your going to play with me, all right then" Neon opened a scab on his ankle for his emergency cyanide pills but found them to be gone, "well at least you have half a brain" he then opened scraped open a scar on his left arm to find that his emergency "feel no pain" tablets were also missing "well, looks like a actually adversary good show sir!" he then found the unknown person inserted a small bag of munchies in his tablets cavity "heh that's funny" he then tore some of the matereal from the walls and stitched his wounds back up, he found the door to be open and whistled a tune as he walked through.
he found himself to be in a long dirty hallway filled with broken glass "amateur, I guess I thought better of you " as he tried to open the door again to make some comfy padded shoes from the walls he found the door to be locked " good, at least it isn't a total idiot running this show, still a idiot for messing with me" the glass looked to be just a small coating on the floor but turned out to be half a meter deep. Not to be discouraged by a lack of shoes he tore his shirt and tied it around the crucial parts of his legs (akiles tendon's, backs of knee's and of course, bottems of feet) and started his wade through the hallway,
the hallway was roughly 15 meters long and turned left,

" a stair case you son of a-"
"now now Neon swearing doesn't become you" "........................GG.......you? at of all that I knew? hmmf.......I would have never pegged you down as a moral zealot"
"oh come now Neon you know perfectly well that morality had nothing to do with this, you try'd to kill me after all and of course, there's always the satisfaction of killing my old mentor"
"I always told you to not be presumptuous and not to expect anything, especially my back up plan! execute action 3-45!"
"arrgh! [HEADING=2]AAAAAAAA[/HEADING]"
GG thrashed around on the floor for a few seconds but the pain subsided quickly
"ahhhhh the back up chip, that was a good one neon but a little tampering left it in poor condition, anyways prepair to die"
" I'm already at the top of the steps GG maybe you forgot that, this may not be as elaborate as the way you tried to kill me but hopefully you like the classic'slash his throat with a peice of broken pop bottle' technique"
"hmmhmmm sorry neon you already lost, you remember of course that I know one of your greatest weakness and I plan on employing it"
"another thing I told you was not to tell your victim your evil plan!! ajb924 has already made that mistake and he's bound to pay for it soon"
"speaking of which we need to rap this up,ajb's death is on a tight schedule and this conversation has already delayed your death enough as it is" "
again with the presumptions, I have the weapon and you only have-" "sorry to pop up this shattering set of puns and nuking those whales with you was a blast but I really must be going"
Neon's screams and thrashing around on the floor said enough
"now I've been studying what puns do to you and those extremely unimaginative one's should have broken your knee's and and given you head trauma that should knock you out....................................................now.................................."
.Neon awoke inside a all to familiar place, this was where he and GG nuked their first whales, what was it called now? he couldn't rem-CAPITAL WASTLAND! that was it, but where was he? this place didn't look as nuked as the rest of the east coast, the nuke dropped here must not have detonated which was obvios since there was a town right........................................oh god, he didn't have the balls to kill him like this did he? he checked the sign near the gate which scarcely read ut
[HEADING=2]mega[/HEADING]ton
crap he had to get out of here! it appeared that his knee was broken so all he could do was limp pathetically but he thought he might as well read GG's note while he was at it
Dear neon
sorry, no escape for you, others might get away with insanity but you are the one that is definitely going to be killed in my vendetta against the great folks I met at the escapist and to make sure you don't limp to relative safety here a set of puns that will now be spoken through the speaker attached to this note.
say hi to Micheal for me, his heart also seemed to not "beat it" anymore
on the bright side, you might get free tickets to "thriller"
also say hi to the energizer bunny, he was killed himself when they tried to charge him of "battery"

uhhgggg dam.........................................so close..............................and what really killed him was that now GG had a bitching penthouse in tenpenny tower


ShockValue felt a shiver crawl up his spine, "Neon dead? that's impossible! he's almost immortal! I bet he's just making it not seem suspicious that he's still alive"of course, there was always the other possibility, but who? he sure as hell didn't kill him, Shapsters perhaps? no he just got out of the hospital from death spider limb bruises, who did that leave?Portal Maniac? nah he was never threatening us, he just as bad as the rest of us but not enough to kill the Neonbob. Madbird-Valiant? it was possible but no.........that left.........ae8gamer, well she did like high fives A-LOT maybe something in her head broke but he doubted it.....................oh god..............the only notable one left was........."GG" but really? well he did take the night of neon's 8000th post petty hard and he was the part time apprentice of neonbut it was probably Maxthereaper. it wasn't strange that he exacted his revenge but Neon was a pretty big target to take down, he did have a higher post count than him anyways. shock found a good replacement for Neon as co-owner/"stock go-getter" so he didn't have much to worry about. "today's special!: fried rice with ginger!" it sold surprisingly well and it was easy to get ingredients for since the restaurant was near a U.K tourist hot spot. Good attendance today but to many weirdo's for his taste, for example: look at that freak in........the trench.............................coat...................oh....................oh.god...........................
"waiter!! some service here please!!wait scratch that I'll just ask the owner here " " ted uhhh.......you.....you take care of the place tonight!" several seconds later he was speeding down the highway. HE always planned for someone from "the classic game" to go after the other posters but he didn't really think one was going to do it! especially not GG! he lost him. Good now he needed to know what to do, he couldn't go home that would e to obvious, what about meeting the other posters? no....he wouldn't lead GG right to them. HE would face GG by himself and for god sakes he could take him!! a short trip home just to get supplies and off to anywhere he went. Unfortunately he made the mistake of speeding and was pulled over "what's the hurry there buddy?"
"running"
"pal you'd better do better than that if you don't want a $200 ticket"
" you don't understand, someones trying to kill me HE'S A BLOODY PSYCHOPATH YOU GOTTA HELP ME!!"
"woah slow down there buddy, why didn't you call the authorities?"
"I can't trust anybody right now sir, he could be anywhere"
"Pal Neonbob was killed last week, who could be that bad?"
"....................GG..........."
"wha?!!" "
Guitar Gamer!!

"
"yikes that's no small thing bud you better come with me"
"no I....I need to leave"
"sorry pal you could be one of those creeps from the'classic game' we need to take you in"
"no.......NO......" s few hours pass and the cop pulls in to a factory
"this isn't a copshop"
"no..............it isn't get out come on"
"what the?.................NO.... no-no-no you can't do this"
"oh and why is that shock?"
"beca- how'd you know my AAA!" the door came out easily as it turned out the cop car was saved from a dump by a crazy person
"come now shock.........where do you think you'll get away to huh? WHERE!!!"
"please GG what are you doing?"
"well I was planning to kill you in a cruel and unusual way but your making that hard aren't you?"
shock had enough of this, he had a good 6" on this creep and he wasn't about to run to his death
"all right then GG bring it on!! or are you too scared now that your victim's fighting back?""come now do you really think that Neon didn't put up a fight? whatever, if you must then let
MORTAL COMBAT

begin!!!"
skock got a good two hits on GG before he had him on the ground,
"nice try bozo! two punches and your down? "
"heh good show Shock, finish me off then and I'll see you in HELL!!"
as shocks fist came down on GG he felt a prick in his forearm before he struck him.
"what is this? what did you do?"
"I gave you a lethal injection shock.........goodnight"
"wha!! ughhhh *vomits"
what shock didn't know was that what was really in the syringe was a concoction of LSD and heroine and he was in for the worst time of his life
"aghhh HAH! your needle did FU-AAAHHHHHHH!!!!"
Shock saw before him what was most obviously the grim reaper since he was much to dead to be GG
"no I wont let you take me!! get away!!
shock ran from the approaching Death and into the factory which unbenounce to him; was where Satan was having his 100,000,000,000th birthday. after meeting the guests by poking roughly 6 holes in him that were caused by pitch forks (but really assorted machinery) and finally at the end of a catwalk
"your time has come ShockValue it's time to die"
with that death removed his bony and hideous face to reveal GG's. just to add to the mood 'Hells Bells' started playing on the factory PA.
"no-nooo this isn't right!!"
"to the contrary it's the most right thing in the world shock"
shock was so intent on living that he jumped of the catwalk but ended up being petrified in a thin coating of molten iron making him a very Ferris metal and a lovely conductor of electricity
"gentlemen"
"ahem!"
"*sigh* and lady, I've gathered you here for a reason."
"spit it out Shapsters, we know this isn't a friendly picnic!"
"calm down portal maniac we're safe here"
"from what? Neonbob? HE'S DEAD!!!"
"that's just it portal, this time he really is dead, GG killed him along with ShockValue"
"oh that's bullshit and you know it Shapsters"
"well ae86gamer. who do you think did it? they would have killed GG instead of shock or they would have at least killed him by now,"
" well couldn't it be anyone in this room?"
"please ae86, this is obviosly a vendetta against the players of 'the classic game' or at least the main posters, if the killer was here; he-"
"OR SHE!!"
"or she would have at least killed one of us, which reminds me :where's Madbird-Valiant?"
"I'm here just getting back from that lovely bathroom of yours"
"whatever lets just get this train wreck moving, our lives are in danger, GG has already tracked down neon AND shock so he's likely to know our general locations, I've gathered you here so that we might kill him before he kills us which mind you is still dangerous but I got hired goons around this whole building so we're relatively safe."
"DAMMIT SHAPS IF GG ALREADY KILLED NEON BY HIMSLEF;WHAT CHANCE DO WE HAVE?!?!!?!"
"if you would just sit down portal I'll tell you; I believe GG is killing us in relevance to 'the classic game' Think about it, Neonbob was the one who befriended him first as well as being his biggest threat, he killed shock second probably since he established the most contact with him and he's likely to kill me next to gain control of B.C"
"og so this is a scheme to save your own ass? that's it I'm out"
"HE'LL KILL YOU TOO PORTAL IF WE DON'T STICK TOGETHER AND KILL HIM OURSELVES!!!"
"well if we're gonna become a secret group out for blood; we need a awesome handshake"
"good point madbird and I got the perfect one:...................[HEADING=2]THE HIGH FIVE[/HEADING]"
"real original ae86 but right now we need a game plan"
"how bout you just there for another 10 minutes? shapsters"
"oh god it's HIM!!:guitar Gamer!! everybody: BREAK!!"
"do you have to run? it's such a bother and ajb924 is next on the list"
" dammit GG do you have to kill us? THE 'CLASSIC GAME' was so long ago what does it matter? we didn't do any real harm"
"oh Portal Maniacof all people I suspected you the very last to try to justify your actions before death."
portal popped out a switch blade just then
"well GG I guess I just have to kill you then,did you really think that stupid gask mask would-OH BALLS!!"
portal maniac woke up in a room that had transparent walls,crappy music playing and a strange timer going above a door and he found that he was wearing a orange jumpsuit and strange contraptions on his feet, all before a ominous robotic voice said "hello and again, welcome to the apater science computer enrichment center, I trust the time in the relaxation pod, was pleasant"
portal was speechless, was this his best dream imaginable? something was different, he suspected that difference was the note that read,
dear portal:
I hope you realize that this cost me thousands of dollars as well as that there is no retry's in real life, and that there is nether any cheat codes or mods. If you survive on your first try; you deserve to live but somehow I doubt it as playing and living are 2 totally different things
sincerely: Guitar gamer >:D


while this took place about 14 hours from now lets see the events that made up of ae86gamer's life

she happend to run in the hallway opposite of where GG came in giving her a head start on running, "well this plan went to shit at least I got a head start maybe I'll think of a-OH BALLS"
"why hello ae86, good to see that you've noticed my gas mask and are holding your breath accordingly"
she responded with a swift kick to the balls and a dash to the out side door but found it locked
"*barfs* ommf!! well that hurt, and now my mask is ruined but no matter, I'm sure you can't hold your breath for another 3 seconds,"
her expression was her reply
you see I also find it hard to hold my breath when I'm high fived:................TO THE STOMACH!!!"
GG acted to his word like any gentlemen would and her last concence world were:
YOU SON OF AAAAAaaaaa[sup]aaaaaaaaa[/sup]
she found herself in a contraption that looked like something from SAW
"aarrggg god my head hurts"
"that will be over soon, it seems I overestimated how long the knock out gas would work"
"if I get out of here alive GG I swear I'll-"
"it's good that yo take death as a possibility, as it may be a happening in your near future"
"what is this anyways?"
"what? no begging for life? no 'it was so long ago'? that surprises me even portal had something to say"
"I'm waiting"
"I beg your pardon I-"
"I'm strapped to a dirty machine, you not pardoned"
"heh heh I thought so, anyways this machine is what I call "the high fiver" very imaginative I know but since my only contact to you was through the escapist I'll forgive myself for being predicable, I will ask you questions, you'll have all the time in the world to answer but you wont be let free until were done or your dead, if you survive the test you are let free and off scot free, I won't bother you anymore, BUT!! if a question is answered incorrectly; you will be high five'd, by this lovely hand'o'spikes."
"that's super funny"
"hmm hmm I know"
"may I ask you politely Not as begging why your killing escapists?"
"shits and giggles mostly but for you, there's room in my demention for you"
"so that's where you go when you die?"
"nah I just set your deaths up that way, it's really nice there's no shortage of chairs like here, anyways
QUESTION 1: what is your first name?"
"o_o?.."
"I'll repeat it; what is your first name?"
"really? that's it?"
"is 'really' your final answer?"
"NO!!"
"then what is it?"
"Kim"
" CORRECT!! alright that was the start up question here's a slightly harder one:
QUESTION 2: what is is your gender?"
"female"
"is that your final answer?"
"yes, is that all? this is starting to be boring?"
"alright then smart ass
QUESTION 3: what is the average air speed velocity of a swallow?"
"African or European?"
"European"
"crap I don't know!!"
"is that your final answer?"
"wha? N-"
the next moment 3 inch spikes were sent through ether side of ae86gamer's left hand
after her screaming stopped briefly GG continued
"QUESTION 4: what is the red ghost from pacman's name?"
"*scweals*"
"is that your final answer?"
"no it's uhhhhhhhhh inky?"
"I'm sorry that's the turquios's ghosts nickname"
the next moment 3 inch spikes were sent through ether side of ae86gamer's right hand which happend to cripple it
"QUESTION 4 mind you we're switching to feet now: how much wood would a wood chuck chuk if a wood chuck could chuk wood?"
"*gasp*A-a..........a wood chuck-k-k-k would *whimper* ch-ch-ch-chuck as mmmmmmmmmmuch as a w-w-w-wwood chuck *starts crying* cccould chuk ifawoodchukcouldchukwood"
"heh heh what was that?"
"f*ck you"
"just for that the next question is for your head, but if you get it right; you win:
QESTION: 6
how many roads must a man walk down?"
"CHRIST!!! the goddam answer is blowing in the wind!!"
"......................................................hmmmhmmmmhmmm!! silly ae8 :)..........................................................................................................it's 42"
how did this all go wrong? he planned it so well, he'd get the others to try and gang up on GG and while they were getting killed, he get him while he was distracted, now all of his guards were dead and probably everyone else as well. He heard portal go down first, then ae86 yell'd 'something' but by that time he was on the other side of the building and at the fire exit.
"dammit Shapsters think!" what the hell was he supposed to do? getting together with madbird-valiant wouldn't help, he probably suspected that he was out to save his own ass not madbirds.By now he was almost at the end of the street in his car
"that's it!!" get him to go for madbird first!! the plan can still go out but it's going o be harder, he could at least get a shot at GG by then but how?
"maybe I could-[HEADING=1]WOOAHHH!![/HEADING]" Shapsters clearly saw a road block ahead with a sign saying
NICE TRY OLD BOY
and had no time to stop and promptly hit the barrier and also happened to total his car in the process. Luckily for him though he didn't injure himself and was able to wand the street in a shock induced haze. Ina few minutes he caught a hold of himself just in time to see a dark figure standing across the street from him wearing a gas-mask and a heavy coat which in the night (which it was) looked and awful like something from a low budget horror film.
"you bastard stay away from me!!! I'll...............I'll kill you!!"
"your right shaps, I should stop this vendetta against the escapist's because I'm afraid to kill you Shapsters please don't kill me especially in your most dangerios state of shock"
"you think killing me will be easy? think again GG!!" Shapsters pulled out a 9mm semi automatic pistol in the manner of a drunk bum and directed the barrel at "GG"
"come now Shapsters do you really think I didn't plan for this?"
"what're yoooouu gonna do?! huh? no just put those blood stained hands up and back the bloody hell off!"
"at this rate shaps, taking British Columbia will be easier than killing mother, which wwas pretty dam easy let me tell you"
"[HEADING=2]aaaaAAAAAA!!! DAM YOU!! YOU BASTARD I-[/HEADING]Shapsters didn't give himself time to Finnish his own sentence before he unloaded 3 bullets out of his magazine and into Guitar Gamer's chest
"HAH!!! not so deadly no huh? that'll teach you to kill my mother............and.......uhhhhhhhhh"
I (the narrator) lied, Shapsters did get dammadged in the crash and sufferd a minor concussion, strangely though shaps may have noticed this but it appeared to by the second last thing on his mind, the very last being if he would be worse at rockband because of it. Shaps stood over GG's still body and managed to neel over it and laugh
"hmmf let's see if it's really OHH GOD"
"you know that really hurt despite my flat jacket but it was worth seeing your face right now heheheheh!"
"wha!?"
"don't suppose you want to help me up?"
GG didn't get a answer as shapsters was crawling through a sewer grate from lack of normal brain functions, most likely brought on by his concussion.
"okay let's do this the hard way"
GG followed shaps through the sewer grate weilding a baseball bat that had nails driven through it"
"I can see you there shaps, this isn't a cheap mask through it is now almost wortless due to some puke"
"dammit GG!! you bastard!!" some shots rang through the air and echoed greatly in the cramped tunnel
"looks like your not a bat there bud" funnily enough a shot grazed his shoulder and caused him immense pain
"you'll regret that, pretty soon it seems" and GG went on to hit Shapsters in the kneecap with his bat and then in his genitalia
"now I was going to slowly and elaborately kill you but right now you'll just suffer"
"there's........................................a......................special place........................
in hell.......................for you" by now he dragged shaps out into the street
" and there's a special place in that windshield over there for your head"
*BAASH* shapsters had now lost a quarter his blood and could only wither in pain.
"you'd think that's it but that last bullet REALLY hurt me shaps"
GG pulled a bottle out of a dirty sack that he kept around and pulled out a vodka bottle.
"portals death kinda broke the bank but somehow I think you'll understand"
he then tied the bottle to a long rope and a fuse into the bottle, he threw the bottle over the street light next to them and tied the other end of the rope to the car beside shaps
"now since you have lost about half your blood, you wont be running anywhere would you? nO? good boy"
he lit the fuse to the bottle which was attatched to one side of the rope and walked away.
"hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
"well?"
"well what?"
"well are you going to do something?"
"Madbird-Valiant I believe in thinking before I act"
"dammit ajb there's no time to think!! I'm going to bet that he's had at least oe more night to sleep on it than you and he's coming for us!!!"
"hehe hehe oh madbird he wouldn't dare kill us so quick to the horrific murders of your comrads, he need's to gather himself and plan"
"he's planned already dammit!! trust me he couldn't of broken into shapsters safe house unless he already planned a time"
"shaps's safe house was nothing more than a house with a thic kdoor and a large basement, we're safe here THIS is a fortresss"
"maybe your right, but he's going to kill you too you know if your not ready for him"
" I've already counter planned his careful planning to kill me. Unless he already counter planned my counter planning so I'll have to counter, counter plan counter pl-"
"OH SHUT UP!!! we need to take action THAT was the mistake shapsters made, too much planning, GG obviosly has calculated our actions from previos happenings but this time we need not get inside his head: we must BASH IT!!!"
"ho ho ho that was quite a speech there madbird, but first you need a bath, you stink of fear. And I need some sleep, I'm getting tired"
"do you have buble bath solution?"
"of course, only the best kind, what colour?"
"indigo withpurple spots"
".....................all right then I think there's a bottle of that in the back of the medicien cabinet, would you like a rubber D-"
"brought my own"
"g'night then madbird,"
now you'd expect GG to kill madbird with a cliche bathroom death that included the music from phyco and blood coming from the taps but that as I just said, would be cliche, even though it would be easy to write, GG decided to set his sights to ajb924 instead.
"yyyyaawwwwnnnnn hello GG"
"hello ajb I seee your taking your imminent death well"
"awwww I thought this was your surrender of control of British Columbia, they have good pot you know and that's good money .......................I'm saving up to goldplate my yacht"
"sure you are ajb anyways I will be handing your power to some other bloke when your dead, any secret doomsday weapons I should know about?"
"no only thE SECRET NINJA THAT"S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!........................."
"....................................HAH............"
"you killed him"
"yes"
"crap well I got nothing, your really my only enemy and my status is only warlord of half the world so I haven't planned for this"
"mmhmm wel g'night ajb"
"aren't you going to drug me?
"already did, when you slept"
"F*ck you @$$H0L3"
"they're always so vulger, but it wouldn't be worth if not for the looks on their faces"


ajb924 awoke in the midst of a extremely bright room and with harsh deathmetal playing quite loudly so much that he went deff quite quickly, GG wasted no time and took him from the room and threw him into a giant hallway that had sand floors amd steel walls and a very high ceiling, he picked up the note GG left him that read
I realize that that the pain in your ears must be unbearible but your death will be tricky for the athorities if it's any conselation
have fun with Bruno

to clarify Bruno was a 400 pound polar bear with a machine right arm which looked like four chainsaws bolted together, he hasn't been fed in a week, had no natural blubber and ironically had a bear trap power jaw, it's also worth mentioning that he found eating things to be also fun since it was easy to cut them up now. No since ajb was half blind and deaf he didn't hear a enraged monster screaming nor did he hear four chainsaws rev simutainiosly, the rest is painfully obvios but mostly the narrator is really tired but he will say that ajb got to run for a whole 5 minutes and saw Bruno quite well for at least 2 seconds

it was hour three now,for at least 3 hours now he'd been standing in a room with twelve gards posted everywhere, they knew he was in this building. They knew he killed ajb924 and now was coming for madbird-Valiant but obviously they needed to protect their own lives but they were unsure, he killed the neonbob so what chance did they have?
"god how did it come to this? we're cowering in a god dam garage for christ sake"
"just like that madbird" Jesus that came from just behind the door! just then the guards opened fire at the door with several desert eagle pistols and left it just a frame,
"hah! what a douche! the great GG is-"
"killing you; anonymous expendable guard character!"
GG was a man of his word and promptly set fire to the whole squad with a recently stolen from ajb's private armory M2 flamethrower.After their screams had died down madbird was surprised to say the least and quite promtly jumped at GG with a machete
"good try madbird but you forgot this" GG pointed to his gas mask and and it occoured to madbird that he looked like the pyro from team fortress 2, he then realized that in his fighting clothes and with his machete; he resembled the sniper.
"Haw! isn't this somthing! anyways you'll be happy to know that your not dieing by this flamer"
"eat steel you Canuck bast- oh balls"
madbird passed out with a sudden increase of gas form of chlorofoam in the room.
He awoke in a dark room that stank of death and B.O
"uggggghhhhh DAMMIT GG AT LEAST GIVE ME SOME LIGHT!!"
"if your sure madbird, hmmmhmhmmmmm"
GG revealed the room to be coverd in piles of dead koala's and kangaroo heads surgicly attached to wombat bodies
"oh HAW HAW that' really funny: stereotypes GG? that;s the best you can do?"
"alright I was gonna dump you in a tank filled with blue ringed octipus's but you asked for it"
all of the sudden madbird realized that he was lying in one of the piles and it was shifting, the dead corpses of mutilated marsupials were starting to move and eye's were starting to glow red, all they manged to muster with their mutilated throats was
"gggggggg'daayyyyyyyyyyyy mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaattteeeeeeeeeeeebefore the started to grab and scratch him vigeriosly,
"get off me you basterds! is that all you can do? GG is th-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
the kangaroo/wombats were biting him and grasping onto his apendenges draging him down into the piles, he realized that the pits went below the floors and he was losing quite a bit of blood and was even starting to pass out by the time they completly engulfed him

another long and lonely night for immacharginmalazor if you really must ask what he was doing then you need to read a book or something but he was in fact "charging his lazor".
"hmmhmmmhmmmm they called me 'insane' they said: 'we can't actually make a weaponized lazer' but look now!! sure it took my 2 years to build the machine and sure it took 4 years to charge it but now it's finished!!! ONE FULLY CHARGED LAZOR!!!!! I could actually take over the world wit this OR I could actually get back together with my friends so I don't have to talk to myself...........hmmmmm what to do what to- what was THAT!!"
What really made that bumping sound no one knows but to clarify imacharginmalazor's (who will now be referd to as Lazor) lazor had in fact the power to take over the world since all a ordinary lazor need was to have it's particles accelerated 2X every hour for four years, it would create a lazor that could fire a beam of death that would last a week and could melt through diamond or titanium or essentially anything man has so far created. Of course this had no proof of being legitimate except the following event:
"bachh! whatever now that the lazer's finally charged I can get back to......................................god what did I do before that? my life.....................it's so..............................empty..............I.......I..........need some air
immacharginmalazor (who will now be referd to as Lazor)walked out onto the balcony of his lazer laboratory and looked out towards the forest below
"I threw away my whole life................for a lazer?.....................well then was it worth it? ...........................WHAT AM I SAYING OF COURSE IT WAS!!!! LOOK OUT WORLD CAUSE
IMMA FIREING MEH LAZOR!!!! MUAHAAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!
Lazor's maniacal laugh was cut short by a the sound of gears and wood in the distance which was followed by a loud "THWAAP"
"what the.............oh.........my.......god"
what lazor clearly saw was a metric ton of rock flying through the air that had a more than 90% chance of being fired by guitar gamer's trebuchet that was built not all that far away from Lazor's mansion laboratory, it also happend to have a 100% percent chance of hitting the balcony that he was standing on, fortunately he had the foresight to jump back into the house but just in time to not get hit by the rock which in it's impact and collapsing of the balcony: threw him across his lab at a great velocity..................
he awoke shortly after to see something sawing through the laboratory door, and he promptly screamed at the saw and what ever was operating it
"DAMMIT I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU VILLAGERS's, I'M NOT GOING TO DESTROY YOUR STUPID OBSOLETE DIRTY BACK WATER TOWN!!!!!!!"
"ho ho ho Lazor, that's a hell of a way to greet one such as me,"
"WELL I- wha? wait................your guitar Gamer right? JESUS YOUR HERE TO KILL ME!!!"
"you have a very firm grasp of the obvious, now please open this door"
"all right I'll open it.................hold on [sup]heh heh heh[/sup]
Lazor lied, he did not open the door, instead he climbed into the drivers seat of his lazor and blasted through the door with a blast of "his laz0r" which sent GG through the wall behind him, usually this would kill any that were in the way but since GG was not of this universe he was merely hurt horrendously but got up just like any bloke who was punched in the stomach,
"*pukes* ow that hurt me Lazor, I'll have to be careful"
"BAH!!! you'll be dead!"
"nice movie reference but that wont save you"
GG then jumped to the side as a large blast of lazor blasted through several stories where GG used to be. GG made a dash towards the machine that looked like it was straight out of a 80's comic book, but was blasted to the back of the room and sat there slumped for several seconds "haw!! whats the matter GG? your not so parrell dimension body really can't handle lazor blasts? haw haw haw haaaaww!!! well then it's time for some answers!!"
"ugghhhh do...........you.........................expect me.......................to talk?"
"HAAAAA!!!!you really think I'd let you live?!!! NO MR KNAUFF (the narrators last name for those who care to know)I expect you TO DIE!!!!"
"all right then now that the crappy references are over you might not be expecting THIS!!!"
GG instead of destroying Lazor's lazor with something like a lazor he instead hucked a rock from the balcony at Lazor which knocked him out of his seat nad then ran up to him wielding a large club which Lazor failed to notice when GG walked into the room
"gaahhh! can't you at least kill me with my own lazor?"
"oh but that would ruin the fun of it Lazor, killing you with that what is the oposite of the fruit of your labors,"
".....................bast-" [HEADING=1]BRACTSHHH!!![/HEADING]
"yikes what a mess, tisk tisk your brains are all over my shiny new Gask mask, ahh well at least your dead and I can use your lazor for my own ends, goodbye immacharginmalazor I'll see you in my universe.



"well then GG here we are, in your bathroom talking to yourself in the mirror, hyping yourself for those last unlucky blokes who had the misfortune of interacting with you on the escapist.....................are you ready?...............................OF COURSE NOT I HAVEN'T EVEN SHOWERED!!"
GG showered them brushed his teeth then eat a bowl of corn flakes
fruit loops
count chocula "meh I'll treat myself, after all this is then end of my vacation. Lets see here who's left
Neonob: a cannibalistic batman that taught Guitar Gamer the way to bake people among other things, also co-owner of "the child inside you"

ShockValue: co-owner of "the child inside you" apparently cannot be weird ed out, we will see

Shapsters: competition for ownership for Canada, notorious for getting hit with deathspider limbs

goatzilla8463: hates everything

portal maniac: maniac for portal

ajb924: trying to rule the world, not to be underestimated

Vandirk: into wolfs and dark haired girls, Glocks and katana's are other points of interest

atv_chic_18: into atv's isn't 18, apparently creative

imacharginmehlazor: is charging his lazor, also appears to like toast

ae86gamer: is a high five enthusiast, REALLY LIKES HIGH FIVES!!!

Madbird-valiant: Australian person that appears to like sci-fi and ninja's

Spirulti ma: proud owner of PLAYSTATION 3,[fanboy comment] can't blame him[/fanboycomment]
"ahhhhhh those blokes okay then better get to the 'hat cave'"
GG hum'd the batman tune while he slid down a pole that was conveniantly standing in the middle of his house,
"let's see here, maybe just the fedora today"...........................
goatzilla8463 busy hitting people then running from the cops when he suddenly found himself infront of a large pole that wasn't there a moment ago, he happen to be running too fast to stop and promptly fell backwards in a fit of pain
"all great it's you!! GG!! well how are ya going to kill me? huh? with a 'goatzilla?!!' how original"
"you underestimate me Goatzilla, I just want to see if this cloth smells like chloroform to you"
"...........................................really?"
"nah I'm gonna kill you" gg took the time that goatzilla was using to blink to whack him across the face with a shovel and throwing his body into his car.............................
goatzilla awoke in a lab with GG tapping his foot impatiently
"at last you awake!! now to kill you,"
"with what? a kitten? a-"
"all in good time dear boy, now please notice that your sitting in a chair in a large chamber , this is a machine that will show you, 'everything, every single thing that ever was, everything that is, and everything that ever sgall be will be zapped into this rooom all at once"
"that's impossible!!"
"not with a infinite volume generator, it's running off the stupidity of the most stupid of the human race so it'll run for a good half hour,"
"why?"
"well goatzilla I'll leave that to you"
what GG didn't tell goatzilla was that he told everything that goatzilla hated it and when everything was zapped into that machine simultaneously it would show that everything was not to be messed with, especially when everything in existance and everything else is going against someone that is strapped to a chair.

atv_chic_18 was getting worried, first the 4X4 ing trip was not relaxing her, there was alot of bear tracks in the area and now guitar gamer was standing in front of her,
"what do you want?"
"me? oh I want a monkey but that isn't the point or why I'm here,"
"*sigh* why are you here then?"
"oh I'm here to do somthing"
"stop being coy what are you going to do?"
"oh me? well IMMA FIEING MA LAZOR!!!!"
"wha what the h-OH MY GOD!!!"
a beam of lazor cam right through the forest missing atv_chic by mere centemeters she had the forsight to start up her atv again and was well away before the beam was near her again, it vaporized everything near her and only noticed it was gone when she also noticed the cliff in front of her, luckily it was a mere 15 meter cliff and landed with only a broken ankle
"gahhhh!! you bastard!!"
"well then, since the narrator is running out of clever lines i'll ask you if there's any last words you'd like to say"
"well....................I guess I'd just like to sa-"
"TOO LATE!!!! LAZOR TIME MUAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!"
her remains were never found.
Vandrik had been sittng in this stupid cop shop for at least a day, why didn't they let him go? he obviously could take GG, they dude didn't even seem to know how to defend himself he just snuck up on people and knocked them out, what a weirdo! didn't even fight them hand to hand he just used cheap tricks to kill them while they were incapacitated!!
"alright buddy your free to go"
"finally!! what's the occasion? did you finally catch him?"
"nah we just think a week without kills means he's finished"
"what ever"
Vandrik out of pure coincidence (or maybe out of a plan since nothing in this seems to just happe) bumped into GG but didn't reconize him since all the wanted posters had him in a mask
"why hello Vandrik"
"listen pal I just spent a whol- oh my god you GG!!"
"as a matter of fact I am how bout that?"
"your..............your...............your gonna DIE!!!!!!1!!!!"
"you'd like that wouldn't you? well then HAVE AT YEY!!"
before Vandrik had a chance to strike GG landed a good hit in the stomch and then to the face on Vandrik and had him thrown into his "cereal killer van" all before vandrik could even cough,. Rather than awaken from getting knocked out
Vandrik
simply jumped out of the van door when he noticed that it wasn't locked, unfortunatly GG had just stoped and unlocked the van so the dash was futile as was tuck and roll
"amusing really but I've noticed that you mock my efforts in killing people so I present to you,.................your death, or rather your chance of being the first to escape out of all of them, potal maniac almost did but in the end he died at the hands of GLADOS it was that or he realized that one bullet from those security droids kills you in real life I can't remember but anyways, here's the deal, you get to fight your way to escape, I'll give you your favorite weapons, (katana. and I believe you once said a glock 9) and you simply fight,"
"why don't I just kill you?"
"because you'll find all the weapons down that trail, and I'm going to stay with the van"
"why would I trust a cereal killer again?"
"you'll notice none of the reports about me include lie's"
"hmmff"
"come now off you go!.....I can kill you right now if you'd prefer that"
Vandrik found that GG told the truth, but not the whole truth as a pack of starved wolves were waiting for him at the end of the trail as well, he got a good 3 down out of 15 but inevitably was mauled to death
there you go 1K, yay for me
 

Ethereal.Frog

New member
May 10, 2009
280
0
0
I get a large spiky guitar and beat Guitar upside the head with it until he stops moving.
[sup] Your 1000th post invokes tl;dr for me, but I'm lazy right now[/sup]
 

Neonbob

The Noble Nuker
Dec 22, 2008
25,564
0
0
Guitar Gamer said:
-death snip-
Haha! That was great, GG!
Thanks for making me first! Nice touches all around.
Kudos for this, and congrats on 1K!
 

Guitar Gamer

New member
Apr 12, 2009
13,337
0
0
Neonbob said:
Guitar Gamer said:
-death snip-
Haha! That was great, GG!
Thanks for making me first! Nice touches all around.
Kudos for this, and congrats on 1K!
I'll add 2 more blokes but those were all I orginally palenned for, no rush though since they may never see the post anyways