The Friend Zone

[RhombusHatesYou]

Yeah, I once liked a girl and asked her out. She did the whole "But we're friends!" thing.

The sucky part is that the friend zone is basically just a poor excuse for girls to say "I like you as a person, but I wouldn't ever want to have sex with you." Not that all want is sex, but it sucks essentially being told that your genes won't cut it.

Why do I keep commenting on these things?

A deep seated need for public humiliation?

 

[unoleian]

It's my favorite trap. And by favorite, I mean most likely outcome.

I either get a one-nighter, or eventually a new friend without the former. Which, of course, happens almost every time with the people I truly like. True relationships are few between.

 

[Eggsnham]

Yeah, I once liked a girl and asked her out. She did the whole "But we're friends!" thing.

The sucky part is that the friend zone is basically just a poor excuse for girls to say "I like you as a person, but I wouldn't ever want to have sex with you." Not that all want is sex, but it sucks essentially being told that your genes won't cut it.

Why do I keep commenting on these things?

A deep seated need for public humiliation?

Sounds reasonable.

 

[spartan231490]

I have a very shaky concept of body language, flirting, and social interaction with regards to relationships. Ergo, I know very little about the friend zone. Hell, I have to have someone tell me I'm in it.

A more appropriate question would be how the hell do you get out.

Not easily. some emotionally earth-shattering event has to upset the status quo such that thier view of the people around them changes.

As for myself, I've been friendzoned by like 6 girls. I even asked most of them out, as for the others, it was obvious that's where i was so i didn't bother. They're typical generic storys though. guy askes out girl, girl says "I don't feel that way about you, You're my friend." Not joking, that's how it happened. Caiti actually caught me mutter "friendzone" under my breath, and laughed. That was almost funny enough to make me laugh too.

So putting this in physics terms, the friend zone is like a black hole and thus requires speeds exceeding 299,792,458 metres per second to escape?

Yes, you must approach the speed of light.
cookie for the reference.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

The easiest way to get out of the Friendzone is to punch the other person in the face.

Sure, they'll hate you, never want to speak to you again and you can forget about ever getting sexytime with that person (unless you're into rape, I suppose) BUT you'll be out of the FriendZone.

 

[hortez the champion of the frozen wastes]

You people are either going to love me or burn me for this.

I don't know how to get out of the friend zone, but to avoid going in, PUT HER IN THE FRIEND ZONE.

Yeah, say the things girls say to YOU to but you in the friends zone.

But this has to be done before you actually get into the friends zone or it is pointless.

 

[Mr Montmorency]

Why is it that they always say "I don't want to ruin our friendship"?

Why would it? If you were such good friends with me to put me in the friend zone, then surely, if we had a relationship, it wouldn't matter if it didn't work out because you can just be friends again?

It sounds like a shitty excuse to me.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

Now she's engaged to a guy who was recently deployed to Afghanistan and I'm regretting not doing something.

If you're a terrible person you could hope the Taliban solve your problem.

 

[hortez the champion of the frozen wastes]

Now she's engaged to a guy who was recently deployed to Afghanistan and I'm regretting not doing something.

If you're a terrible person you could hope the Taliban solve your problem.

You win. Forever.

 

[the Dept of Science]

Being a friend to being a boyfriend is a difficult transition to make. I always find it easier to separate the two. Keep my shefriends as shefriends and if I want a girlfriend, its best to meet someone knew and start out on a sexual level, before she can categorise you.

 

[Mr Montmorency]

You people are either going to love me or burn me for this.

I don't know how to get out of the friend zone, but to avoid going in, PUT HER IN THE FRIEND ZONE.

Yeah, say the things girls say to YOU to but you in the friends zone.

But this has to be done before you actually get into the friends zone or it is pointless.

Why does this work exactly? What possible reason could this give you a chance?

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

... I was in it for a while, guess now I've finally come to... be okay with it, I guess.

I want her, but recognise that we're better off friends.

Feels good, man.

Call me cynical if you like, but I suspect that once you get a few drinks in you and you have to sit in the same room as her while she is making out with someone else, chances are you won't feel as good as you claim you do.

 

[hortez the champion of the frozen wastes]

You people are either going to love me or burn me for this.

I don't know how to get out of the friend zone, but to avoid going in, PUT HER IN THE FRIEND ZONE.

Yeah, say the things girls say to YOU to but you in the friends zone.

But this has to be done before you actually get into the friends zone or it is pointless.

Why does this work exactly? What possible reason could this give you a chance?

If you do it right, (lighthearted, teasing) then it builds attraction. As does all teasing. But only if done in a humorous and lighthearted way with a smile on your face.

This works because it lowers her social value if you tease, her making you seem higher in the social hierarchy. I know it seems malevolent when I put it like this, but it really isn't. And girls are naturally attracted to the most confident man in the group, or the alpha.

 

[MisterShine]

Ahh.. yes I see that now. The girl thinks you're friends but you want more than that. I've been there twice actually. As a matter of fact both of them actually used that last sentence word for word.

I dunno how you guys do it, but kissing them during a close moment seemed to knock them back to their senses that I'm pretty awesome. Maybe you guys should give that a shot? Worked 2 for 2 with me. In the short term, anyway..

You escaped the friendzone with 100% success rate? I may have to try that. then again, i do enjoy NOT getting slapped. it's something to think on.

The second girl did get a little upset with me actually, but she didn't hit me. Though our relationship was a lot more complicated than the fact we were just friends (she was in fact best friends with my ex-girlfriend. Long story). I sort of apologized, but said "Hey, it felt like the right thing to do at the time! I like you a lot, I some fuzzy feelings of you and... went with it. And it was a kiss, what's the big deal?". She went home, thought it over a bit and asked me out on a date a couple days later. I mean, the wreck that followed wasn't exactly pretty, but I dislodged myself from a pretty tight 2 1/2 year friendship into something more. So, it's definitely possible. You just gotta' knock 'em out of their shell. Like Koopas.

Why is it that they always say "I don't want to ruin our friendship"?

Why would it? If you were such good friends with me to put me in the friend zone, then surely, if we had a relationship, it wouldn't matter if it didn't work out because you can just be friends again?

It sounds like a shitty excuse to me.

I'm going to be honest, that excuse is not entirely bullshit. I don't think it is possible to be true friends after a serious relationship. It just isn't. Sure, you can say that "we'll be friends!", but what everyone means is "We will be friendly and polite to each other, and of course I will wish you well in life".

Not that girls always mean it that way, but it is seriously true. However, I put it like this: true friends are pretty rare, but a great relationship is worth its weight in diamonds. This is why I use the kissing method in my earlier posts, it forces them to consider their physical feelings for people, and not just what is necessarily the "sensible" path.

 

[chromewarriorXIII]

Now she's engaged to a guy who was recently deployed to Afghanistan and I'm regretting not doing something.

If you're a terrible person you could hope the Taliban solve your problem.

I could... I could...

But seriously, I'm not THAT terrible of a person. It was bad enough having to hold her while she was in tears when he left. I can't imagine what it was be like if that happened.

 

[Mr Montmorency]

Somebody should make a friend zone wiki. It'd be a hit.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

Now she's engaged to a guy who was recently deployed to Afghanistan and I'm regretting not doing something.

If you're a terrible person you could hope the Taliban solve your problem.

I could... I could...

But seriously, I'm not THAT terrible of a person. It was bad enough having to hold her while she was in tears when he left. I can't imagine what it was be like if that happened.

Just as well because not only would it make you a vile and contemptible shitwad it probably wouldn't work, as you'd be there for her, a staunch friend and shoulder to cry on... and months/years later when she decided it was time to move on she would almost certainly go and root some other guy.

Start insisting she set you up with her friends instead.

 

[jmoore4ska]

So in high school I was stuck in the Friend Zone with a girl a year older than I. It was the typical story, she dated a succession of total douchenozzles while I stood by and helped her solve her problems. The wrinkle in the story, however, is that at a certain point I found the fortitude to just say "forget it" after 2ish years and go off on my own for once. I met another girl a year above me, we hit it off quickly, and we've been dating happily since then.

Talked to the first girl again last year, and it turns out she got herpes. She couldn't even tell me who she got it from because there had been so many guys so quickly. Now that's a problem I couldn't help her with.

So my experience is if sparks don't fly soon, they never will. You can have girl friends, but don't expect a friend to become more than that, especially if its had years to brew.