The funniest accidental misuse of words?

[Enigmers]

I have heard people messup and use the word "orgasm" when they meant "organism". I can't remember the exact context though.

I remember that, it was in 8th grade science class, someone was reading something out loud from a hand-out we got, and he made exactly this accidental misuse.

 

[DuplicateValue]

When we were talking about a story we had read in Spanish class, my teacher wanted to say that the main character was a "wuss" but got confused and called him a "pussy".

Isn't that the same thing?

 

[Dusquad]

Once in my Spanish class we were supposed to speak sentences to each other. So I walk up to an absolutely beautiful girl in my class without a partner and without thinking, blurted out my first sentence. The sentence was "¿Tú estas mojada?" which translates into english as "Are you wet?". At first she didn't catch my error so we just rolled with it. It wasn't until the next day where she walked up and slapped me across the face then laughed at my error.

 

[Queen Michael]

When we were talking about a story we had read in Spanish class, my teacher wanted to say that the main character was a "wuss" but got confused and called him a "pussy".

Isn't that the same thing?

Don't ever change.

 

[DuplicateValue]

When we were talking about a story we had read in Spanish class, my teacher wanted to say that the main character was a "wuss" but got confused and called him a "pussy".

Isn't that the same thing?

Don't ever change.

Huh? Not quite sure I get you...

 

[Jerious1154]

When we were talking about a story we had read in Spanish class, my teacher wanted to say that the main character was a "wuss" but got confused and called him a "pussy".

Isn't that the same thing?

They mean the same thing, but "pussy" is also slang for "vagina".

 

[Captain Pancake]

"How do you spell illiterate?"

oh, the irony if I spelt it wrong again...

 

[ucciolord1]

More of a slip of tongue, but remember:
"Keep fu*king that chicken!"

 

[MK-Smash]

"Baby, I' like a rubix cube, the more you play with me the harder you get."


I made that mistake once.

 

[theshadow308]

I was watching a video today of a pastor who was delivering some passionate sermon, and he attempted to say "Pitched their tents", but instead he said "pinched their tits".

Wonderful. And he totally failed to recover from it as well, went bright red and kept bursting into laughter.

 

[Deleted]

Freudian slips I never make because I can control my thoughts. But if I'm writing something while some people are talking I'll write what I'm hearing and its annoying.

 

[Disaster Button]

I know a girl who can't pronounce words correctyl either.

For example, instead of saying Cucumber, she says Cumcuber with a complete straight face, it's pretty amusing.

Also know a guy who walked up to a group of lads to introduce himself and said, with a smiling face, "Yo homos" He was supposes to say homies..

 

[Kasawd]

I always laugh at valedictorian speeches. They are not a great idea when the valedictorian is chosen by the student populace. Our valedictorian was an overly popular guy who was good looking and charming. Dumb as a stump, though.

He misused beseech so badly our mutual english teacher actually facepalmed.

 

[T-Bone24]

 

[JenXXXJen]

I once mistook the word Dido (Water floaty bed thing) for Dildo. In front of my mother, she thought it was hilarious.

 

[Kasawd]

Freudian slips I never make because I can control my thoughts. But if I'm writing something while some people are talking I'll write what I'm hearing and its annoying.

If it's a freudian slip we're talking about, I have a great one.

I was making supper for my room mates and I when one of the mcame in and began telling me abouta guy at work hitting on her. She works in a mental disability clinic so I told her it was relatively harmless, really. She went on to explain that the fellow was was just paralyzed from the waist down.

I meant to say that that was ok, then, because he was all there mentally.

Instead:

"That's ok, he's a real person, then."

 

[Kabutos]

There was a girl in my science class that said 'testicle' instead of 'test tube'. This was in a class full of immature Seventh Graders that find 'that's what she said' jokes are the pinnacle of humor, so you can guess how well that went over.

 

[Kron_the_mad wants to be deleted]

my friends little brother years ago. we were playing carmaggedon and he pulled of a cunning stunt (which popped up in the game announcing cunning stunt bonus). he shouted for all to hear "I got a stunning ****" and then realised what he said.

 

[Otterwuff]

Well, when I moved into my new place my friend spotted my fan; the front of it, the protective grid, that is, fell off years ago and stuff. So he looks at me, points at it, and says, "Why has you maltracted your wife?"

He realised what he said afterwards when I gave him my biggest "WTF"-face. It was particularly humorous for us because English isn't our mother-tongue (but we're damned good at it, save these mishaps).

The same friend also managed to exchange the word "vegetarian" with "African" when we were discussing what food we could make.

I also have three separate books on the subject - allow me to quote a bit. Keep in mind some of these are more poor English than actual misuse, but...

"You are hardly welcome. The lift is broken so you must use our traps." - Hotel owner in South Norway when welcoming a few foreign guests.

"Due to customs regulations, there will be no service between these two legs." - Air hostess between London-Stavanger-Bergen.

"The unorganized conference... Er, I'm sorry, the UN organized conference..." - BBC Radio.

"Can we take photos here?" "Yes, but no flashing in the Cathedral, please." - Norwegian tourist guide in the Nidaros Cathedral in Trondheim.

But yeah, three books filled with stuff like this - so I've had my fair share of laughs.