The funny truth about raised terrorist alert as of late! Satire story!

[SnootyEnglishman]

Political Satire you really gotta love it for the humore

 

[Claymorez]

Wales has just updated its terror alert from, "watch the sheep", to "have two people watch the sheep" after the discovery that there were 'others' out there over a small nearby hill - a pair of bushes.

 

[xenos60]

Turkmenistan has ensured state security by elevating from "Ban all Yellow Fruits" to " Immediately execute people with side burns more that 2 inches in length." The have also painted a picture of their heroic leader defeating the evil banana conspiracy singlehandedly in celebration.

 

[huckleberryhound]

The Scottish have raised the terror alert from "Bad teeth" to "Chronic heart disease" due to running out of Buckfast, and having to move on to Omega white cider.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Madagascar has just shut down everything.

 

[ma55ter_fett]

Very well done...

Another american alert lvl

*start rationing the BQ sauce*

 

[Just Joe]

Madagascar has just shut down everything.

WIN!

 

[Khujager]

"The United States has scrambled multiple tactical nuclear bombers upon receiving intel that Canada has mobilized the 183rd Moose Calvary. We will respond with multiple 182 megaton blasts of freedom."

 

[dmase]

The Iranian threat level has once again been backed down to below: "Nuclear Jihad" to regular "Jihad", but during the bush administration's posering it was apparent that the Iranians might even get to "kidnappings, it worked before right?", but its still unclear if they will get to use their newest threat level: "what??? they actually did something, oh FUCK!!!".

 

[dmase]

Mexico has elevated from "What the hell are you expecting us to do?" to "We're... uhhh... preparing to make an armed force."

Does Mexico even have an army? (Serious question)

Yes... they sell cocaine and hide corrupt official's dirty laundry, and yes in mexico that takes a whole damn fighting force.

 

[huckleberryhound]

Mexico has elevated from "What the hell are you expecting us to do?" to "We're... uhhh... preparing to make an armed force."

Does Mexico even have an army? (Serious question)

Yes... they sell cocaine and hide corrupt official's dirty laundry, and yes in mexico that takes a whole damn fighting force.

The CIA is the Mexican army?

 

[dmase]

Madagascar has just shut down everything.

How the fuck am i supposed to spread my virus now? Damnit Madagascar its always you!

 

[dmase]

Mexico has elevated from "What the hell are you expecting us to do?" to "We're... uhhh... preparing to make an armed force."

Does Mexico even have an army? (Serious question)

Yes... they sell cocaine and hide corrupt official's dirty laundry, and yes in mexico that takes a whole damn fighting force.

The CIA is the Mexican army?

No Mexico is just like the patriots they've been stealing from the CIA's playbook.

 

[soapyshooter]

Madagascar has just shut down everything.

Pandemic reference ftw?

 

[Jing the Bandit]

Japan's terrorist threat level has reached 'KAMIKAZE!'
The only level above that is, 'Send in the mechs!'

 

[andrat]

Snip

I saw this joke on Sickipedia. Any chance you found it there as well?

 

[Dorian]

Earlier today, the Spanish reduced their alert level from "Acquire as much wealth as possible" all the way down to "Flounce our cash in England's face".

The only known levels beneath these are "Yell at the French" and "Pretend Mexico doesn't exist".

 

[ElephantGuts]

I laughed. Good show.

 

[Aerodyamic]

You're alternate account says other wise.

This is for satire, and you're talking about screw ups in the country, from which should not be joked about I don't see how a man being tazered to death is funny. Completely and utterly off topic, have a look every where else in the thread, and it's easy to see that "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG."

Lets leave it at that. If you want to continue whether you were off topic or not PM me. In my eyes though, you were trying to be a jerk. I'd like to see to see you disprove me of that. (No seriously, grudges are annoying as hell. I like to be disproved that you were trolling me.)

Alternate account? What are talking about? I could also point out the fact that the RCMP have acted poorly on a variety of other occasions, and have overreacted in others, and it still wouldn't satisfy you. You've also completely ignored the fact that I mentioned the Oka Crisis, in which the RCMP and military both kind of screwed the pooch.

Suffice it to say that if I'd been attempting to troll, I'd have simply left it 'Unleash the RCMP'. I also wasn't trying to imply that a man dieing is particularly funny, on it's own, but is indicative of a pattern that could be funny. If you'd like to play 'the sauce for the goose game', however:

Canadians have raised their terrorism level from "To bad for America" to the [/b]"Ugh... Send in the snipers.[/b]"

You're suggesting that people be killed without even realizing they're a target. Pot, this is kettle, and he's been dying to meet you. I believe I also referred to the fact that the longest confirmed sniper kill in history was a Canadian @ 2.5km, which gives your suggested 'threat level' additional credence.

Anyways, if you're done glorifying a uniform, maybe you'd realize that just because something has had awful consequences doesn't mean that humour can't be found in it. Maybe you'd have grasped the satire if I'd said 'Unleash the Musical Ride!', but I doubt anyone else would have got it, and I wonder how many people outside Canada would know what the RCMP are, to begin with.