The Guy above me is a troll because...

[Sassafrass]

...for not hiding this catnip from me.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For wanting to eat the catnip yourself.

 

[Sassafrass]

...for being a goofball.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For *Hops on Goat as if he were a trampoline*

 

[Sassafrass]

...for GBH. Or just plain being in the way of a cop with a gun.

 

[Sassafrass]

for no punctuation

 

[Sassafrass]

...for breaking the Matrix.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For breaking news.

 

[Sassafrass]

...for "News just in! ...That is all."