The hell is wrong with me? Please read.

[maxibonito]

i have to agree with all the people saying "don't bottle it up". i for one tried that manuevere, and when it did get out, it made me fell better, but the aftermath from so much sadness and anger ended up coming back to haunt me, in the form of getting fired (not that i really cared, i don't NEED a job cause im still in high school), which you probaly don't want to happen

 

[Saelune]

You're human. Thats what. Besides...happy people are not natural. A stand up comedian said it best.."Maybe its the happy people that are messed up"

How so? I don't agree. The kind of plastic happiness some people have by just throwing money and plastic surgery at everything, that's messed up. Not just weighing good and bad stuff together and coming out positive

And OP, ever considered it's because of the night shift? Being tired does some pretty horrible stuff sometimes, and even moreso when you have a glorified jetlag

Ok, fine. I guess naive and uninformed people are not really messed up. But the world sucks and is full of bad things. Anyone who is happy is either insane, or ignorant. (Not neccesarily the offensive kind)

Oh so now because I'm happy I'm naive and uninformed?

I would like you to tell me why depressed people are better for the world than happy people.. As far as I can tell happy people make other people happier, while depressed people either share their woes with eachother or take away from the mood of happy people.

I know that the world is full of bad things, but when you get handed a toy box full of torture ware it doesn't take long to figure out that theres some stuff in there that could be used in a good way.

Change for the better. Civil Rights movements were not started by happy people. Revolutions arent started by happy people. I am considering focusing my life on activision and changing the world if only slightly, because I hate how it is. Hell, it pissed me off when I went to my counselor, and she told me I have to just accept that things arent always great. I dont think we should just let things be bad.

Happiness doesn't mean passivity though. I'm happy but I don't close myself off from all the bad stuff. It's just, all those bad things happen so far away, so my mood will not change those things. If I feel good about myself because the stuff that does happen around me tends to be good, I'm not gonna let it be ruined by something that happens far away, since you can donate money when you're mad as well as when you're happy.

The happy people donating bits of help may compliment the situation, but its the ones pushed to the breaking point who get the most done. It wasnt the kind, happy peaceful protestors standing far apart at Washington who got gay rights into the limelight, but the pissed off people tired of the bullshit the police were giving them who started the riot that helped get gay rights where it is. Thats just one example. Also, I think you think you took my passing comment too seriously. I did not expect to get so derailed from the topic.

 

[headshotcatcher]

You're human. Thats what. Besides...happy people are not natural. A stand up comedian said it best.."Maybe its the happy people that are messed up"

How so? I don't agree. The kind of plastic happiness some people have by just throwing money and plastic surgery at everything, that's messed up. Not just weighing good and bad stuff together and coming out positive

And OP, ever considered it's because of the night shift? Being tired does some pretty horrible stuff sometimes, and even moreso when you have a glorified jetlag

Ok, fine. I guess naive and uninformed people are not really messed up. But the world sucks and is full of bad things. Anyone who is happy is either insane, or ignorant. (Not neccesarily the offensive kind)

Oh so now because I'm happy I'm naive and uninformed?

I would like you to tell me why depressed people are better for the world than happy people.. As far as I can tell happy people make other people happier, while depressed people either share their woes with eachother or take away from the mood of happy people.

I know that the world is full of bad things, but when you get handed a toy box full of torture ware it doesn't take long to figure out that theres some stuff in there that could be used in a good way.

Change for the better. Civil Rights movements were not started by happy people. Revolutions arent started by happy people. I am considering focusing my life on activision and changing the world if only slightly, because I hate how it is. Hell, it pissed me off when I went to my counselor, and she told me I have to just accept that things arent always great. I dont think we should just let things be bad.

Happiness doesn't mean passivity though. I'm happy but I don't close myself off from all the bad stuff. It's just, all those bad things happen so far away, so my mood will not change those things. If I feel good about myself because the stuff that does happen around me tends to be good, I'm not gonna let it be ruined by something that happens far away, since you can donate money when you're mad as well as when you're happy.

The happy people donating bits of help may compliment the situation, but its the ones pushed to the breaking point who get the most done. It wasnt the kind, happy peaceful protestors standing far apart at Washington who got gay rights into the limelight, but the pissed off people tired of the bullshit the police were giving them who started the riot that helped get gay rights where it is. Thats just one example. Also, I think you think you took my passing comment too seriously. I did not expect to get so derailed from the topic.

I also said that I'm happy because there's mostly good stuff happening in my vincinity or 'my world'. If I'd be gay and mega oppressed I obviously wouldn't be as happy, but it also doesn't make sense to oppose stuff for the sake of opposing something, which seems to be what some people on here do.

And I probably did take it too seriously but I have some friends who don't allow themselves to be happy because there's people starving and dying and such, and I just feel bad for them because the sadness of those friends won't give the starving dying people any food..

 

[Saelune]

You're human. Thats what. Besides...happy people are not natural. A stand up comedian said it best.."Maybe its the happy people that are messed up"

How so? I don't agree. The kind of plastic happiness some people have by just throwing money and plastic surgery at everything, that's messed up. Not just weighing good and bad stuff together and coming out positive

And OP, ever considered it's because of the night shift? Being tired does some pretty horrible stuff sometimes, and even moreso when you have a glorified jetlag

Ok, fine. I guess naive and uninformed people are not really messed up. But the world sucks and is full of bad things. Anyone who is happy is either insane, or ignorant. (Not neccesarily the offensive kind)

Oh so now because I'm happy I'm naive and uninformed?

I would like you to tell me why depressed people are better for the world than happy people.. As far as I can tell happy people make other people happier, while depressed people either share their woes with eachother or take away from the mood of happy people.

I know that the world is full of bad things, but when you get handed a toy box full of torture ware it doesn't take long to figure out that theres some stuff in there that could be used in a good way.

Change for the better. Civil Rights movements were not started by happy people. Revolutions arent started by happy people. I am considering focusing my life on activision and changing the world if only slightly, because I hate how it is. Hell, it pissed me off when I went to my counselor, and she told me I have to just accept that things arent always great. I dont think we should just let things be bad.

Happiness doesn't mean passivity though. I'm happy but I don't close myself off from all the bad stuff. It's just, all those bad things happen so far away, so my mood will not change those things. If I feel good about myself because the stuff that does happen around me tends to be good, I'm not gonna let it be ruined by something that happens far away, since you can donate money when you're mad as well as when you're happy.

The happy people donating bits of help may compliment the situation, but its the ones pushed to the breaking point who get the most done. It wasnt the kind, happy peaceful protestors standing far apart at Washington who got gay rights into the limelight, but the pissed off people tired of the bullshit the police were giving them who started the riot that helped get gay rights where it is. Thats just one example. Also, I think you think you took my passing comment too seriously. I did not expect to get so derailed from the topic.

I also said that I'm happy because there's mostly good stuff happening in my vincinity or 'my world'. If I'd be gay and mega oppressed I obviously wouldn't be as happy, but it also doesn't make sense to oppose stuff for the sake of opposing something, which seems to be what some people on here do.

And I probably did take it too seriously but I have some friends who don't allow themselves to be happy because there's people starving and dying and such, and I just feel bad for them because the sadness of those friends won't give the starving dying people any food..

I dont hate happy people. Rather I am envious. Hell, if I could choose between ignorant happiness, or well-informed depression, I would choose being ignorant. And stuff like children starving in Africa and stuff makes me feel guilty when I whine and complain and stuff. As much as I complain about civil rights in USA, we are actually far more free than so many places. China, Iran, even Australia, we are far better off than.

 

[iLikeHippos]

I'm not a psychiatrist, but I'd go for these two things.

1) Sleep Depravation; you mention your night-shifts, and I do hope you are being paid more than normal, for it can causes social, physical and mental problems.
Take a week off or ask for a better position from your point.

2) Buried Worry; This is something you worried about from long before, and probably forgotten it in many years, but now it has come back and torment the shit out of you.
Find out what it is you TRULY worry over, and deal with it.
If everything else fails, you could always ask God for help.

Now, I felt what you describe, and in my case it was the latter.
I couldn't deal with it, no matter what I tried so I gave a prayer. Worked absolutely fine, as my worries dissipated when I had finished. Can't explain it logically though, as it helped me when nothing else did.

 

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

Some of you might remember me from my post about my new night shift job so this might be a cause of it.

Anyways, I'll just post what I messaged to a friend.

"I've been really depressed all day, I shouldn't be, my life is good, maybe it's my new job, I work back shift at the super store, I hear sleep deprivation can cause depression or at least lots of stress.

Yes ... muhahahaha

I do night work too, prefer it to working during daylight hours. Bleh ... stupid Sun with it's potential for skin cancer.

But yes .... yes .... you grow strange afterawhile when you are working only nights and barely see sunlight... particularly in winter when your skin begins to turn what I presume is a healthy, faint shade of grey ;P

Eyes lose focus as you stare out across the gunmetal grey of the warehouse you're imprisoned within. Prisoner's theatre sometimes when you spend 10 hours in almost perpetual black, 5/6 nights a week.

Muhahahahahahahahahaha ... muhahahahahhahahaha..

Yes it can turn you strange, but you do get over it.... Or you end up seeing the company psychiatrist for happy pills and a soft bed for a couple of weeks ;P Don't worry, like 50% of people I worked with in various delivery centres and distribution hubs you eventually get over it and you'll be right as rain once you do.

But you will still go a bit strange in the head...

Don't muck with your body adapting to sleeping during the day though. Get heavy curtains, refrain from drinking coffee towards the end of your shift in the wee hours of the morning, turn off distractions like mobile phones (as some of your friends are too stupid to realize that because you work nights you need to sleep most of the day away) ...

Once you get used to it you'll be okay though n.n It can get spooky first couple of months, but the human body is pretty adaptive.

 

[Turing]

Some of you might remember me from my post about my new night shift job so this might be a cause of it.

Anyways, I'll just post what I messaged to a friend.

"I've been really depressed all day, I shouldn't be, my life is good, maybe it's my new job, I work back shift at the super store, I hear sleep deprivation can cause depression or at least lots of stress.

like today when I was at my girlfriends place I wanted to cry and I have no idea why, I guess I thought that I wouldn't be able to keep the job and there might be another possible job offer at Payless shoe source and I was thinking if I got a job there I wouldn't keep it, I kept thinking of my future and how I wouldn't really have one cause I wouldn't be able to keep the job(s)
I don't usually think about that stuff, working back shift is really hard.

and when I was leaving my girlfriends house I didn't wanna leave, I wanted to stay there with her (i mean I could have but I would have been lonely cause she had to go to bed)


yeah but like even now I wish she was awake so she could text me and I wouldn't be alone, I mean you're here but I can't explain it, i haven't been this way since I didn't want my friend joey going home so very long ago
I think my problem is that I really want someone to touch and hold right now, someone I can talk to, its probably why I still sleep with my stuffed mickey mouse so it feels like im holding someone as I go to sleep

i know i'll see her again but its like I can't wait, like I need them here now and always around me, maybe my adhd is acting up again, who knows

and even though i've only done two shifts so far, I feel like they'll fire me (not that i'd mind that too much) because I'm not as fast as the other people, and whenever I go in before a shift at least for this next one I always think I wont do good or something bad will happen like I fall asleep or I just give up, fuck I don't know whats wrong with me, i just want someone to hold me and to stroke
stroke my hair and say it will be okay
when my girlfriend was holding me I wanted to cry but decided not to.....I wish I wasn't so fucked up"


TLDR: Basically after my last shift I felt really depressed and stressed out, when I went to my girlfriends place I felt like I wanted to cry in her lap but decided not to, (it would have been hard to stop) and when she was going to bed I really wanted to stay but I would have been lonely cause she had to go to bed, it's like i needed her there with me, like all the time, to hold her or for her to hold me, you should just skim the post to know.

I don't know what it is but I haven't been like this since I was a kid when I didn't want to go home or for a friend to leave my place, I wish I knew what was wrong with me.

Sounds a lot like a depression. Yes, poor sleeping habits and lack of sunlight can cause depression.
Having a depression is nothing weird or wrong.
Go see your doctor

 

[Sarge034]

I got like this when I lost sight of my life goals. I had to thake some time and find what I wanted to do with my life. Also, working nights you might not be getting enough Vitiman D. As you get a lot of this from the sun. In the end I will have to agree that seeing a professional is probably the best choice.

 

[008Zulu_v1legacy]

Sounds like you hate your job. Ask for daylight shifts or quit and find something else.

 

[Eisenfaust]

i can't really comment, i've never understood depression, which sounds horrible from a psych-in-training... i don't get why they're depressed, i don't get why they can't just get over it. sure, their lives may suck in certain aspects but i've no idea why that's cause for dramatic sadness...

just because i believe in the assumption of destructive normality... learn from the pain.

the single most remarkable thing fact about human existence is how hard it is for humans to be happy

 

[Gavmando]

Yep. Shift work does it again.

I've been doing some of the most volatile shift work you can imagine for the past 7 years and I can tell you that it will take some time to get used to, but eventually you'll just learn to cope with it.
(I'm a train driver in Sydney.)

Mood swings are just part of the territory. As are micro-sleeps, (Which can be stopped by taking fish oil,) higher rates of cancer, heart disease, obesity and mental health problems. There's a bucket load of other stuff it does to you, and none of it good.

Stick it out for a while, and if it doesnt get any better, find a new job, because shift work will completely destroy you and your relationships with other people. Just remember, people who dont or have never worked shift work have absolutely no idea what you are going through. They may think they do, but they dont. It sounds like you are depressed, and my non-expert opinion is that it's caused by the shift work.

Just stick it out for a while and see if you like it. No job is worth ruining your life over it. If it doesnt work, change jobs.

 

[Giuglea]

Some of you might remember me from my post about my new night shift job so this might be a cause of it.

Anyways, I'll just post what I messaged to a friend.

"I've been really depressed all day, I shouldn't be, my life is good, maybe it's my new job, I work back shift at the super store, I hear sleep deprivation can cause depression or at least lots of stress.

like today when I was at my girlfriends place I wanted to cry and I have no idea why, I guess I thought that I wouldn't be able to keep the job and there might be another possible job offer at Payless shoe source and I was thinking if I got a job there I wouldn't keep it, I kept thinking of my future and how I wouldn't really have one cause I wouldn't be able to keep the job(s)
I don't usually think about that stuff, working back shift is really hard.

and when I was leaving my girlfriends house I didn't wanna leave, I wanted to stay there with her (i mean I could have but I would have been lonely cause she had to go to bed)


yeah but like even now I wish she was awake so she could text me and I wouldn't be alone, I mean you're here but I can't explain it, i haven't been this way since I didn't want my friend joey going home so very long ago
I think my problem is that I really want someone to touch and hold right now, someone I can talk to, its probably why I still sleep with my stuffed mickey mouse so it feels like im holding someone as I go to sleep

i know i'll see her again but its like I can't wait, like I need them here now and always around me, maybe my adhd is acting up again, who knows

and even though i've only done two shifts so far, I feel like they'll fire me (not that i'd mind that too much) because I'm not as fast as the other people, and whenever I go in before a shift at least for this next one I always think I wont do good or something bad will happen like I fall asleep or I just give up, fuck I don't know whats wrong with me, i just want someone to hold me and to stroke
stroke my hair and say it will be okay
when my girlfriend was holding me I wanted to cry but decided not to.....I wish I wasn't so fucked up"


TLDR: Basically after my last shift I felt really depressed and stressed out, when I went to my girlfriends place I felt like I wanted to cry in her lap but decided not to, (it would have been hard to stop) and when she was going to bed I really wanted to stay but I would have been lonely cause she had to go to bed, it's like i needed her there with me, like all the time, to hold her or for her to hold me, you should just skim the post to know.

I don't know what it is but I haven't been like this since I was a kid when I didn't want to go home or for a friend to leave my place, I wish I knew what was wrong with me.

i know the feeling because i`m living 2000 miles away for home..i have almost no friends around here..i get to see my loved ones twice an year..and it gets fucking hard sometimes..and when i don`t know what to do with my life and i feel like i can`t achieve my goals i listen to this song : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgIljN_awgQ

i replace the word "you" from the chorus with my goals..i hope it helps you too..

 

[Zaik]

You're too worried about how you'll fail something to actually be able to do it.

First off, I would say to *not* go to a "professional" because it's a bit too much of a gamble. You're just as likely(if not more) to get someone who will throw you on whatever drug he's bribed to prescribe as you will someone who will actually help you. That's more likely to give you an entirely new set of worse problems than it is fix your current ones.

Typically when I run into a problem like this, I will force myself to do the exact opposite of whatever it makes me(or someone else) want me to do. For example, if someone was so afraid of people they couldn't go to a walmart, I'd take them to a concert, they'll be so traumatized by that they would, by comparison, think walmart feels like nothing. Generally speaking, that doesn't always work, however someone who is mentally strong enough to recognize that they have an entirely irrational mental problem always turns out fine.

I'm not entirely sure how to translate that approach to your problem, but if you think about it hard enough, there's usually a way.

 

[smeghead25]

Dude, just be glad that you have a girlfriend that you could cry to if you needed to

I know how you feel, I've been thinking a lot about the future as well, and to be honest it's looking dim here. I'm doing a games degree in Brisbane, and the industry here hasn't been going particularly well. On top of that I'm a shy guy and not very outspoken or extroverted at all, so I will most likely just drift through life, not going anywhere. But I think I've come to accept that and I am actually looking forward to living a relatively stress free life.

 

[Quiet Stranger]

It could be something completely different, but do you take medication for the ADHD that you mentioned? That stuff can cause some serious depression problems, and I can definitely relate to what you feel like, having felt like that while I was taking those meds. It wouldn't be just because of the medicine, but it still might be an influence.

Of course it might be something else entirely, just a possibility.

I use to take ritalin and then concerta for my ADHD and ADD but I haven't for a couple of years, haven't needed it.

 

[Quiet Stranger]

This might sound horrible but seriously, toughen up?

Also, constant contact with people (Via Social Networking and Texting), leads to this sort of thing, you get so attached to other human beings and their problems that you eventually just... Break, and you can't stand being alone, get depressed, ect.

My advice, don't go on Facebook or Text for two weeks, you'll feel ALOT better.

Yeah but thats the thing before my job I was perfectly fine, I'd play on TF 2 all day (okay not ALL day) and I'd have no problem leaving and going to bed or doing whatever, being on my own, and now it feels like the end of the world

 

[StBishop]

You're human. Thats what. Besides...happy people are not natural. A stand up comedian said it best.."Maybe its the happy people that are messed up"

How so? I don't agree. The kind of plastic happiness some people have by just throwing money and plastic surgery at everything, that's messed up. Not just weighing good and bad stuff together and coming out positive

And OP, ever considered it's because of the night shift? Being tired does some pretty horrible stuff sometimes, and even moreso when you have a glorified jetlag

Ok, fine. I guess naive and uninformed people are not really messed up. But the world sucks and is full of bad things. Anyone who is happy is either insane, or ignorant. (Not neccesarily the offensive kind)

Or they choose to not let the negative parts of life ruin the good in their life.

I understand that I'm not going to change your view, I can also respect your view, I'm just trying to explain to you why some people are happy and not messed up.

OT: Don't worry man, it'll all work out. I know it seems like it won't but just hang in there.

I remember when I was working night shifts, it was bloody hard to deal with anything, luckily I had just moved back into my dad's place at the time, so I didn't have too much to worry about other than learning to do my new job. I would suggest that you focus on how to sleep properly (a solid sleep pattern is always positive) then start working your social and physical needs in and everything should fall in to place.

As far as the loneliness goes... is there a mate or sibling/cousin/other family member that you can talk to and cry with and not worry about anything with? If so I suggest buying a case/pack of beer or what ever, going around and just talking to them. Let it all out, and see what they think.

Chances are that they know you and will end up saying something similar to what you've been told here, worry about one thing at a time and it'll sort it's self out. Just work on it all separately.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

snip

Not really relevant to your situation, but it's seriously the most adorable thing I've ever seen, and I thought it might help.