The Internet and Sexual Predators

[PrinceoN]

Alright, so this is one thing I'm really getting tired of. People seem to think that someone who wants to know about the irl side of someone on they meet and have known for a while on the internet is suddenly a sexual predator/pedobear. Maybe it's just the internet people I hang out with, maybe it's just the the area I live in or they area they live in, maybe it's something relevant that I have no idea about so can't explain, but seriously, what is it? Are people really that jaded into thinking that EVERYONE on the internet is a predator? Can they really not see that the majority of the people that they are talking to are (more or less) completely normal people with no homocidial or sexual (to the point of rape) tendancies at all? Do people really think "well I may not do that, but they might, so I'd better watch out!"?

I'd like to note that I'm not talking about the kind of people who say "Dude, you live halfway across the country, give up." I'm not saying that either side thinks the either is a sexual predator, that's just a realism issue of "It's not that I don't want to, you just need to get it into your skull that we CAN'T." My issue are the people who respond with "OMG PREDATOR ALERT!" to someone that says "Oh hey, we live 2 hours from each other, we could meet sometime."

I'd also like to mention that I'm not saying anything against the people who just say "I never give out my IRL info." While this bugs me a bit, because you ARE speaking to REAL people on the internet, it's also a personal preference and it's something they've chosen to do.

So what is it? Have you ever called people sexual predators or pedobears when they try to get irl info from you and/or when they try to meet you? Often? Has this happened to you, and does it piss you off?

EDIT: And I don't mean the people that talk to you for 5 minutes and ask for your info, that's borderline creepy and I understand that. I'm talking about the people you might have known for a while (you can set your own timelimits, that's not my job), and then ask,

 

[Jedamethis]

Done what to people?

 

[Sneaky-Pie]

I think people just really freak out at things that have been blown way, way out of proportion. Fear is contagious.

Spoiler: Why don't you take a seat right over there.

 

[PrinceoN]

Done what to people?

Sorry, called them a sexual predator or pedobear if they ask for your irl info and/or ask to meet irl. ill edit that

 

[Mcupobob]

I get what you're saying but you may want to clear it up a little and get rid of the "dudes" and "likes".

Ot: People are just very untrusting. Especially to people they haven't meet face to face.

 

[Jedamethis]

Done what to people?

Sorry, called them a sexual predator or pedobear if they ask for your irl info and/or ask to meet irl. ill edit that

Ah, right.

Not at all. Apart from this one chap, but I was joking.
[sub]Looking at you, Pr0tal [/sub]

 

[CitySquirrel]

Does that happen to you often?

 

[PrinceoN]

Does that happen to you often?

Personally, whenever someone wants to meet up with me in real life, I always make a date rape joke. This is always a joke, and most people realize this, and don't take it seriously, then we meet up and have a drink, and it's cool. Sometimes people don't understand that it's a joke, and assume that I'm being serious and drop the subject (sarcasm is hard to understand over the internet sometimes). Are yous sure you're not one of those people who doesn't understand these responses as jokes?

to respond to you both at the same time: I've long since given up on trying to meet people from the net irl, because this happened to me all of twice before i got bored and just gave up. So I can't say I don't understand those jokes cause they don't get pointed to me anymore/at all. I just see it happen, and whether in seriousness or in jest, I've seen people's rep/credibility go down all due to that one statement, so I think now it's gone too far.

 

[Celtic_Kerr]

Done what to people?

Sorry, called them a sexual predator or pedobear if they ask for your irl info and/or ask to meet irl. ill edit that

There are a ton of predators out there, and some of them spend months and months talking to people to gain their trust. It's sketchy, and the internet makes it worse. my friend's webcam was hacked once be a man aged 45 talking to a 16 year old. the girl thought she was talking to my friend, and all because he happeend to have his cam on at the time processing across the internet with someone.

Sure, people are paranoid, but if nothing else say "Look, I swear I'm not a predator. We'll meet in a very public place, we won't go anywhere sketchy" and hope they believe you

 

[Marmooset]

I just glad insulting children hasn't been outlawed yet. I'd be scooped up in the first dragnet.

 

[Hiphophippo]

People just can't accept one simple fact: We aren't having enough sex. The correct amount of sex is X+1. More.

 

[nepheleim]

This is the internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents. But this is also a good reason why you ought to meet people first, before going and facebooking them, or whatever.

 

[Sindaine]

I guess it just doesn't make sense WHY you'd want to meet someone off the internet if you weren't a predator, you know? That hot chick who friended you is a chatbot/ad for some bogus product that doesn't work/a scammer who pulled a porn screenshot off the web for a personal pic.

 

[Cynical skeptic]

Blame the media.

The internet did actually used to host a large number of sexual deviants. The only people you'd even hear talk about it, you later find out were fucking the shit out of their early teenaged daughter (and any of her friends he could get a hold of) and posting videos of it on the internet. They'd then be bitching about the fact their connection was metered and thus they were charged hundreds of dollars because they uploaded a 30 minute long uncompressed mpg file to alt.bin.incest.

But now... its mostly just people. But theres still no real reason to believe anyone is what they say they are. Unless you already know them (facebook), "i'm 16, ur 16, theres nothing weird lets meet" is a one way ticket to a shallow grave.

 

[PrinceoN]

I guess it just doesn't make sense WHY you'd want to meet someone off the internet if you weren't a predator, you know? That hot chick who friended you is a chatbot/ad for some bogus product that doesn't work/a scammer who pulled a porn screenshot off the web for a personal pic.

thats why you go by the "everyone on the internet is male until vent/skype/webcam proves otherwise" way of thinking.

 

[CitySquirrel]

I just see it happen, and whether in seriousness or in jest, I've seen people's rep/credibility go down all due to that one statement, so I think now it's gone too far.

I'm curious about this because I have never seen it happen and I have been consistently participating in internet communities for over 10 years. I'm not saying you haven't seen this, but I'm having a hard time imagining a situation where one person suggests meeting up and another person calls them a pervert and suddenly everyone assumes it is true. Considering the general amount of name calling that goes on in any community, I am surprised anyone even pays attention. Even in real life it usually takes a specific accusation, not just a general calling of names. I could maybe see this happening in a setting where it is mostly kids (teenagers) hanging around in a forum because kids are excitable and grab on to things like that. So yeah, I guess I don't see this being that big a deal.

As to the media's response to internet predators, well the internet is (was?) big and new and scary and no one wants to admit that people you know are more likely to molest or assault you than someone you don't, so it all makes a great headline.

Edit:

I guess it just doesn't make sense WHY you'd want to meet someone off the internet if you weren't a predator, you know? That hot chick who friended you is a chatbot/ad for some bogus product that doesn't work/a scammer who pulled a porn screenshot off the web for a personal pic.

I met some of my dearest friends online when I was... almost 15? Anyway, I went to meet them when I was 17 or 18, and I had a great time... I would hate to have missed that. Studies show people are actually more honest on the internet because if the feeling on anonymity.

 

[PrinceoN]

I just see it happen, and whether in seriousness or in jest, I've seen people's rep/credibility go down all due to that one statement, so I think now it's gone too far.

I'm curious about this because I have never seen it happen and I have been consistently participating in internet communities for over 10 years. I'm not saying you haven't seen this, but I'm having a hard time imagining a situation where one person suggests meeting up and another person calls them a pervert and suddenly everyone assumes it is true. Considering the general amount of name calling that goes on in any community, I am surprised anyone even pays attention. Even in real life it usually takes a specific accusation, not just a general calling of names. I could maybe see this happening in a setting where it is mostly kids (teenagers) hanging around in a forum because kids are excitable and grab on to things like that. So yeah, I guess I don't see this being that big a deal.

As to the media's response to internet predators, well the internet is (was?) big and new and scary and no one wants to admit that people you know are more likely to molest or assault you than someone you don't, so it all makes a great headline.

DOH! root of the problem right there. im only 20, and most of the time ive spent on internet forums/games/such has been through my teenage years, possibly/probably surrounded by other teenagers.

but the people ive seen that buy into the "omg he's a sexual predator?" gossip from just one comment are usually the same people that are just as...internetophobic?...as the person who originally says it, so i guess its just the common ground shared between the poster and the believer.