The Joke Topic (literally)

[Galenor]

How do you keep someone in suspense?

 

[The_Pen_is_Mightier]

With ropes?

Totally owned you on that joke.

 

[dmase]

What do pirates smoke?

CigARRRS

That avatar looks familiar to me and the name too, do you have previous experience on escapist?

 

[Evilvikingking]

What is E.T. short for?

Cause he has little legs!

XD

When George Bush went to war with Iraq...Little did he know.............

 

[Cockney_Jesus]

Why did the woman fall off her bike?

Because I threw a fridge at her!

 

[WittyName]

Did you hear the one about the man who drowned in a vat of toffee?

He came to a sticky end.

Did you hear the one about the man who drowned in a vat of ale?

He came to a bitter end.

I feel ashamed for polluting your mind now.... sorry.

 

[Cheesebob]

A pig flu?
I thought that was impossible.

 

[throwitinthetrash]

'I'm going to open up a store just like GAP, except it'll be bigger, and I'll call it Chasm' - More Demetri Martin "These are Jokes" CD

I should probably just compile all of them onto one post after like 5 minutes, because I'll keep thinking of new ones...

'I was in this arcade and I saw the high scores for this one game, the same guy had them all. I guess this guy Tom and is was just like, all Tom. And when he put them up there, he must've been like "TOM TOM TOM!" But when I read it, I was like "Tom, tom, tom... you need to get a job"' - "Games" Important Things

 

[The_Pen_is_Mightier]

Not that im aware of.

Directed at dmase, forgot to quote.

 

[bodyklok]

What has eight legs and makes women srcream.


A spider.

Not Gang Rape...

 

[Player 2]

A woman walks into a bar, reads the cocktail menu and asks for a double entendre. later, the barman gives it to her.

 

[jdog345]

What did one tampon say to the other?

Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches

Stupid joke durrrr

 

[gibboss28]

what noise does a cat make doing down the motorway?

MMMMEEEEOOOOWWWW!

I once saw a man stealing a gate, I didn't say anything though in case he took offence to me.

Penalty for Bigamy? Two Mother in laws

Why was 6 scared of 7? because 7 8 9.

Yup. I know many terrible jokes.

 

[r4ndom]

Did you hear about the fishmonger that got in trouble for selling undersized crustaceans?

He was taken to the "SMALL CLAMS COURT"


*facepalm*

 

[ThePoodonkis]

Where did George Washington keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES!

Oh, and:
Welcome! Welcome to Escapistmagazine.com! You have chosen, or been chosen, to relocate to one of our finest remaining Internet Utopias. I thought so much of Escapistmagazine.com, that I elected to establish my administration, here, in the Forums, so thoughtfully provided by our benefactors. I am proud to call Escapistmagazine.com my home. And so, whether you are here to stay, or passing through to parts unknown, welcome, to Escapistmagazine.com. It's safer here.

 

[throwitinthetrash]

A wizard walks down the street and turns into a grocery store...

 

[damselgaming]

why did the girl fall off the swing?
she had no arms.

 

[Cheesebob]

Stephen Hawking can finally achieve an erection now that doctors have disabled his pop-up blocker.

 

[Abedeus]

Do you like fish sticks?

...Okay, sorry.

Why can't you borrow money from a dwarf?

Because he's always short.


A troll, a human and a dwarf walk into a bar...

Okay, the troll and the human walk into the bar. The dwarf walks under it.

 

[runtheplacered]

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.