The List of People Going to Hell

[Al-Bundy-da-G]

So... I'm going to hell for being a rock 'n roll mormon.

Can't wait to see everyone there!

Don't be silly. Everyone knows only mormons get into heaven. You're in the clear.

 

[direkiller]

Hmm... I don't really know the proper guidelines of how to fit into a given category - on face value I make it into heaven, but if just the briefest of contact makes me one of these things, then I'm:

Rock'n'Roller
Seventh-day Adventist (that's not going to church due to better shit to do, right?)
Fornicator
and for shits and giggles, Worldly Luke Warm. I don't know what the fuck that is, but if I do ever get to hell I just wanna tell the demon-bouncer up front "I'm here for being a Worldly Luke Warmer!'

Also, possibly a Rich Person - Sure I'm not rolling in money, but considering nearly everyone I know is broke or in debt, I'm rich by the sheer fact that I have my own money that I don't owe to anyone else. So... guess I'm going to hell due to the situation, and not the actions I commit?

Man, the rules of this game is stupid. I'm going to teach these people how to play pokemon, so they can play fun games instead.

Seventh-day Adventist is a Prod sect that flows the Jewish Sabbath day of Saturday(blasphemy I know)

I think the Luke Warmer is simply a person who gose though the motions at church(a pew warmer) & stops flowing the teaching the moment the doors open. (short version of Luke 12:35)

 

[Easton Dark]

-Atheist?? Not sure, I am pretty spiritual person and I believe in that the teachings of many religious figures like Budda and Jesus were enlightened but I don't really follow any religion.

Well atheist would be if you don't believe in a higher power at all. Which I don't. I'm with Carlin.

Edit: Wait guys! Voodoo practitioners make it in! Everyone break out your dolls!

 

[Clearing the Eye]

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again - St. Mathew

Christians should probably listen to a saint.

 

[Blunderboy]

No one.
There is no Hell.
There is no Heaven.
There is only this.

As House put it,

Dr. Gregory House: Personally, I choose to believe that the white-light people sometimes see, visions this patient saw. They're all just chemical reactions that take place when the brain shuts down.

Dr. Eric Foreman: You choose to believe that?

Dr. Gregory House: There's no conclusive science. My choice has no practical relevance to my life, I choose the outcome I find more comforting.

Dr. Cameron: You find it more comforting to believe that this is it?

Dr. Gregory House: I find it more comforting to believe that all *this* isn't simply a test.

EDIT - Because I should really read the first post. In my defence I am sneakily posting at the office.

I'm going, probably for the same reasons as most of you guys.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

-Atheist?? Not sure, I am pretty spiritual person and I believe in that the teachings of many religious figures like Buddha and Jesus were enlightened but I don't really follow any religion.

Well atheist would be if you don't believe in a higher power at all. Which I don't. I'm with Carlin.

Edit: Wait guys! Voodoo practitioners make it in! Everyone break out your dolls!

I'm not sure yet I guess. I think I mostly just respect some religious figures for having the right idea of what to do while we are alive.

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again - St. Mathew

 

[Clearing the Eye]

I think everyone who believes in jesus christ can be called a christian.

Well, that's blatant nonsense. Even atheist's would be hard to deny the evidence that some bloke called Jesus did some stuff in what is now Israel during the Roman occupation and was stuck onto a couple of planks for his troubles. Islam also features Jesus as one of the prophets, and branches of Judaism accept him as a prophet - no neither see him as the messiah. I think even Hinduism and Baha'i have him involved.

The definitions of Christianity is hard to pin down, due to the wide discrepancies in the view of the various various denominations, but in all the major one's accepting Jesus as the messiah and the teaching's of the Gospel's are pretty high on the list

"Christian" is a term that encompass a wide group of people. An offshoot of Judaism, Christians believe Jesus is the son of God and God himself, not just a prophet like other groups. They worship Jesus as they worship God and see acceptance of the former as the one true god and absolver of sins through his sacrifice as requirements number one to get into Heaven.

A defining point of Christianity is also their belief that Jesus was sent by God to bring about a new era of rule, basically overturning the laws of old and instating a new path for his people. Whereas, say, Jewish people still follow The Old Testament and see Jesus as a prophet.

So yeah, like you said, if you believe Jesus is God and follow his teachings in The New Testament, you're a Christian.

 

[Aurora Firestorm]

and for shits and giggles, Worldly Luke Warm. I don't know what the fuck that is, but if I do ever get to hell I just wanna tell the demon-bouncer up front "I'm here for being a Worldly Luke Warmer!'

"Worldly Luke Warm" means that you claim to be Christian, but you don't take a Serious Stand for morality and try to set yourself apart from other people by your straitlaced-ness.

Or something.

Anyway, I qualify for a whole lot of these, even though I'm Christian.

 

[Clearing the Eye]

-Atheist?? Not sure, I am pretty spiritual person and I believe in that the teachings of many religious figures like Buddha and Jesus were enlightened but I don't really follow any religion.

Well atheist would be if you don't believe in a higher power at all. Which I don't. I'm with Carlin.

Edit: Wait guys! Voodoo practitioners make it in! Everyone break out your dolls!

I'm not sure yet I guess. I think I mostly just respect some religious figures for having the right idea of what to do while we are alive.

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again - St. Mathew

They actually had Xzibit hosting a show around 0 AD, Pimp My Donkey.

 

[minimacker]

Democrat? Ha-ha.

 

[CaptainMarvelous]

I saw this picture in an article (I don't know where it came from originally), so I thought I would play a fun game.

I'm going to ask all of you for fun whether or not you're going to hell and to list the reasons why? I doubt anyone on these forums will be able to go to heaven.

I'm going to hell for being a:
Rock n' Roller
Evolutionist

Post your results as such, and have fun!

Why Catholics? I don't get that one, I can sort of see why they claim the rest (through the veneer of crazy) but Catholicism is just a different form of Christianity?

 

[MetalMagpie]

Well, going on what I expect their definitions of these things are...

Rock&Roller
Adulteress
Evolutionist
Abortionist
Liberal
Fornicator
Atheist

To be doubly clear, I'm assuming we're taking the Biblical definition of adulteress (i.e. any woman who has consensual sex outside of marriage). I'm a good girl and have never "cheated".

While we're on the topic, I also fall foul of this:

Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come.

I've blasphemed against the holy spirit at least a dozen times.

 

[Clearing the Eye]

I saw this picture in an article (I don't know where it came from originally), so I thought I would play a fun game.

I'm going to ask all of you for fun whether or not you're going to hell and to list the reasons why? I doubt anyone on these forums will be able to go to heaven.

I'm going to hell for being a:
Rock n' Roller
Evolutionist

Post your results as such, and have fun!

Why Catholics? I don't get that one, I can sort of see why they claim the rest (through the veneer of crazy) but Catholicism is just a different form of Christianity?

Catholics worship and revere Mary, mother of Jesus and God. This, to some hardliners, is them holding another in too high a regard, as God specifically told his people to worship none other than him.

I actually have a portion of Hail Mary in my bio;

"Theotokos Virgin, rejoice,
Mary full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
for thou hast borne Christ the Saviour,
the Deliverer of our souls."

 

[CaptainMarvelous]

I saw this picture in an article (I don't know where it came from originally), so I thought I would play a fun game.

I'm going to ask all of you for fun whether or not you're going to hell and to list the reasons why? I doubt anyone on these forums will be able to go to heaven.

I'm going to hell for being a:
Rock n' Roller
Evolutionist

Post your results as such, and have fun!

Why Catholics? I don't get that one, I can sort of see why they claim the rest (through the veneer of crazy) but Catholicism is just a different form of Christianity?

Catholics worship and revere Mary, mother of Jesus and God. This, to some hardliners, is them holding another in too high a regard, as God specifically told his people to worship none other than him.

I actually have a portion of Hail Mary in my bio;

"Theotokos Virgin, rejoice,
Mary full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
for thou hast borne Christ the Saviour,
the Deliverer of our souls."

So... worshipping Mary is wrong and sinful, but getting divorced because a King in England wanted to and so made his own church is fine and dandy? That makes little sense to me

 

[Zombie_Fish]

Democrat (Being UK I don't use the term but oh well)
Drunk (Sometimes)
Rock & roller
Homosexual (Bi but I'm guessing that still counts)
Evolutionist
Abortionist (*cough* Pro-choice!)
Liberal (Isn't this the same as Democrat?)
Fornicator (Once)
Atheist

I accepted I was going to Hell a loooong time ago.

Also, I like how they condemn Jehovas' Witnesses, but their form of preaching to people is perfectly acceptable.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

Wait... Lesbians arn't homosexual!?

Mine would be:
Rock+Roller
Evolutionist
Fornicator

and I am a Democrat... (Well, a Tory at least) but i'm not sure if a 'Demoncrat' is just a play on words or something different?

 

[Kungfu_Teddybear]

-Atheist
-Rock and Roller
-Evolutionist

I welcome my demonic overlords.

 

[Kiardras]

Hmm, if those are the kinds of people going to hell, then I know where I'd rather be. There are so many more interesting people going to hell!

Lets face it, if I have to spend eternity in fire and brimstone, I'd rather be in company like rock and rollers, people like Stephen Fry and NPH than sitting in Heaven with the leader of Westboro'

 

[vkola]

Well, I live in Sweden where we only have warm weather for like 3months a year so a warm resort like hell is not that bad a place, and by judging by the number of "good" peaople that will go to heaven.. I'd take hell any day of the week.

Democratic
Evolutionist
Drunkard
Liberal
Rock & roll
Adultress/fornicater
Abortionist

Funny that smokers is not on that list..

But it's Westboro, so what else can you expect right?