The minor annoyances that keep us all from accepting the invitations to attend Hogwarts

[ulizez89]

I would go because theirs math and geography competition rocks!!!!!!!!!

now seriously, you either study magic or real life shit(math, literature, geo, bio, REAL history, etc). So you either end up being some powerfull and stupid wizard or a weak and (sub-normal still) smart wizard. So.... not thanks

 

[Hollock]

I'd have to say the fact that Harry Potter was both fictional and poorly written would be the deciding factors.

Trying to keep people from discovering the secrets of magic ( and the phenomenon of ghosts in particuar),eh? Nice try Dio, we're not letting you haunt womens locker rooms. The second we "bust" the right one it's straight to hell for you young man! *wags finger*

 

[badgersprite]

Because people would keep writing atrocious, out-of-character fanfiction that turned me into an angsty emo kid at an ordinary American High School and start creepily obsessing over me and my friends and come up with insane fantasies about all of us bonking one another. There will also be fanfiction that would slash me with my own parents.

Fuck that noise. I'm dropping out.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

I'd agree on the stair thing. It would make being on time a pain in the ass.

"Young man, why are you late?"

"Well Mr Fli-"

"15 points from Ravenclaw."

"Son of a *****."

You mean of course, Hufflepuff.

Naaah, Ravenclaw is the best one. Its where the smart ones who don't die go.

I'm not arguing that Ravenclaw is the best one. I'm arguing that Ravenclaw is not the place for you ~_^. Y'see Hufflepuff was intentionally made for the children who weren't brave, unambitious, and not-so-clever. But worry not, Hufflepuffians are quote un-quote "Hard working".

Its not my fault though! Its those stupid stairs! If they never existed then Harry never would have had to fight Voldemort for the Sorcerer's Stone and everything would have ended with book one!

Whatever helps you sleep at night Huffy-boy (or would be huffy-boy if those fucking stairs weren't so annoying!) .

Damn straight! As for calling me a Huffy-boy....Tarantallegra.

I CAN'T believe you just did this to me, I have NEVER been this humiliated before!
Why don't you just join the Death eaters?

O_O.....My life is complete now. I just-...wow...*Begins slow clap sound affect* DANCE YOU SILLY RAVENCLAW DANCE!

Ahhh, Lets see what other spells we got here...uhhh, Langlock?...naah. Oooh. *Points wand* Obscuro!

I hit this asshole right?!?!

xDD

I've never had this much fun with magic! And who says using magic outside of Hogwarts is irresponsible!?

Alright, I've had my fun. Finite Incantatem! There ya go. No hard feelings right?

 

[Sindaine]

My mother would guilt me into staying. Also, ghosts freak the shit out of me.

 

[Dags90]

Because people would keep writing atrocious, out-of-character fanfiction that turned me into an angsty emo kid at an ordinary American High School and start creepily obsessing over me and my friends and come up with insane fantasies about all of us bonking one another. There will also be fanfiction that would slash me with my own parents.

Fuck that noise. I'm dropping out.

Don't forget the tWINcest. You gotta have your twincest (or was that pops?).

 

[Ladette]

Fuck that noise. I'm dropping out.

Don't forget the tWINcest. You gotta have your twincest (or was that pops?).

What hack fanfic writer wouldn't make sure to include a scene with twincest? Better yet, clone sex with your alternate sex clone.

 

[freakylarzzy]

they've got hundreds of lil slaves thatdo all your work, the basterds...
alright, so they like doing it, so what?
so you won't have to do you laundry, cooking or cleaning, EVER...
you can fly and they give you a lethal weapon at a young age...
bah...

hell, if only they'd teach you to summon succubi i'd go

 

[8bitlove2a03]

They rejected my application because I failed the psychological evaluation.

 

[Hollock]

I'd agree on the stair thing. It would make being on time a pain in the ass.

"Young man, why are you late?"

"Well Mr Fli-"

"15 points from Ravenclaw."

"Son of a *****."

You mean of course, Hufflepuff.

Naaah, Ravenclaw is the best one. Its where the smart ones who don't die go.

I'm not arguing that Ravenclaw is the best one. I'm arguing that Ravenclaw is not the place for you ~_^. Y'see Hufflepuff was intentionally made for the children who weren't brave, unambitious, and not-so-clever. But worry not, Hufflepuffians are quote un-quote "Hard working".

Its not my fault though! Its those stupid stairs! If they never existed then Harry never would have had to fight Voldemort for the Sorcerer's Stone and everything would have ended with book one!

Whatever helps you sleep at night Huffy-boy (or would be huffy-boy if those fucking stairs weren't so annoying!) .

Damn straight! As for calling me a Huffy-boy....Tarantallegra.

I CAN'T believe you just did this to me, I have NEVER been this humiliated before!
Why don't you just join the Death eaters?

O_O.....My life is complete now. I just-...wow...*Begins slow clap sound affect* DANCE YOU SILLY RAVENCLAW DANCE!

Ahhh, Lets see what other spells we got here...uhhh, Langlock?...naah. Oooh. *Points wand* Obscuro!

I hit this asshole right?!?!

xDD

I've never had this much fun with magic! And who says using magic outside of Hogwarts is irresponsible!?

Alright, I've had my fun. Finite Incantatem! There ya go. No hard feelings right?

Perhaps you're right
EDIT: WE'RE IN THE SAME STATE MADDBOSTONTERRIER! Okay to save us both the two hour drive, let's meet in Worcester for a magical duel to the death! High noon on the day of the "Jade moon" good for you? For the record I don't know when the "Jade moon" takes place but all the hot babes of western MA say that all the loser dudes from eastern MA are too chicken to fight then.

 

[Dfskelleton]

Because I'd eventually figure out some spell that causes things to explode, and I'd get banned after I blew the place up somehow
And then I say in my best Duke Nukem voice:
"***** 'em"

 

[maddawg IAJI]

xDD

I've never had this much fun with magic! And who says using magic outside of Hogwarts is irresponsible!?

Alright, I've had my fun. Finite Incantatem! There ya go. No hard feelings right?

Perhaps you're right
EDIT: WE'RE IN THE SAME STATE MADDBOSTONTERRIER! Okay to save us both the two hour drive, let's meet in Worcester for a magical duel to the death! High noon on the day of the "Jade moon" good for you? For the record I don't know when the "Jade moon" takes place but all the hot babes of western MA say that all the loser dudes from eastern MA are too chicken to fight then.

Worchester? You silly little Blue Robed muggle, we're meeting in Salem, its the only place where this will fit and we can get 50% of revenue from selling tickets! THEY GO NUTS FOR THIS KINDA STUFF! NUTS I SAY!

As for the Jade Moon, I think you may be getting your fantasy worlds mixed up.

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jade_Moon

But, in the case that I am wrong! I will see you in Worchester...or Salem....which ever you would prefer. On the day the Jade moon shines bright! Until that day, I will enjoy the full use of my limbs, but just case, I think I may start practicing crawling with my eyebrows.

 

[Scarecrow]

I'm a proud member of slytherin and I have to say that the school has it's ups and downs. But I think the good out ways the bad...most of the time.

 

[Captain Ninja]

Hogwarts? bleh i say! I would much rather learn at Stardock.

PS: bonus points if you know where its from.

 

[Xanian]

Because no one can seem to tie their damn shoes without magic.

 

[Hollock]

xDD

I've never had this much fun with magic! And who says using magic outside of Hogwarts is irresponsible!?

Alright, I've had my fun. Finite Incantatem! There ya go. No hard feelings right?

Perhaps you're right
EDIT: WE'RE IN THE SAME STATE MADDBOSTONTERRIER! Okay to save us both the two hour drive, let's meet in Worcester for a magical duel to the death! High noon on the day of the "Jade moon" good for you? For the record I don't know when the "Jade moon" takes place but all the hot babes of western MA say that all the loser dudes from eastern MA are too chicken to fight then.

Worchester? You silly little Blue Robed muggle, we're meeting in Salem, its the only place where this will fit and we can get 50% of revenue from selling tickets! THEY GO NUTS FOR THIS KINDA STUFF! NUTS I SAY!

As for the Jade Moon, I think you may be getting your fantasy worlds mixed up.

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jade_Moon

But, in the case that I am wrong! I will see you in Worchester...or Salem....which ever you would prefer. On the day the Jade moon shines bright! Until that day, I will enjoy the full use of my limbs, but just case, I think I may start practicing crawling with my eyebrows.

You mean the person who LIVES will get 50%! Salem, Jade moon, you're on! Oh and as far as the witches of Salem go, there was a witch in my town too. Only thing is, she didn't die she went to court and the dumbass Judges and Juries (of BOSTON) found her innocent (as IF!). There's a long history of powerful wizards and witches from my town. In fact there's a HUGE fucking statue of our towns most powerful warlock in Boston (he was a military general who enchanted a harem of women to follow his men throughout the lands and provide all sorts of dark deeds ((this is totally true!!)))!

Spoiler

he could break free from his metal shell anytime on his super spooky invisible to all except thoughs who have seen people die horses and crush you puny state building whenever he wanted!

 

[badgersprite]

Fuck that noise. I'm dropping out.

Don't forget the tWINcest. You gotta have your twincest (or was that pops?).

What hack fanfic writer wouldn't make sure to include a scene with twincest? Better yet, clone sex with your alternate sex clone.

That's what it'd have to be, of course, since I have no twins to speak of. Then again, that just leaves them an opening to bust out the old self-insert Mary Sue author avatar and write themselves in as my long lost sister/brother/secret lover.

 

[icyneesan]

I would not go because chances are I would be expelled for using 'dark magic' to raid the girl's dormitories... as well as do other things to them... in their sleep...

Dark magic my ass...

 

[Gudrests]

I got kicked out....apparently calling your....well "thing" a wand and trying to cast spells in there is not allowed....especially when you DO cast a spell with it...bad things happen. NO ONE goes down the corridor EVER now.