I swear, some of the best stories begin with, "So, I woke up behind a dumpster..." XDkurupt87 said:
The Misadventures of the Escapist
- Thread starter MasterOfWorlds
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There's not much to it, really. I gave chili to the kids in class, who had severly underestimated its strength.AnAngryMoose said:
The bathrooms were packed with kids drinking water. That's when a girl in my class claimed to be able to take more chili than any of us, and asked me to bring some tomorrow.
The next day I gave her about a quarter of a habanero, which she took in one bite. She then spent the next half hour locked inside the bathroom. I think she was crying too. The teacher didn't take too kindly to it.
Then I wasn't allowed to bring chili to school anymore.
Well, there was that time when my family and I were on our way to the local aquarium and got caught up in the middle of a gay pride parade. I had never seen one before, so that was certainly an interesting experience...
Had a gash in my leg from when I slidetackled someone while playing football and my leg got cut open on a rock. It cut above the bottom of my shorts, so you couldn't see it, and I couldn't feel it. Shortly after the bell rang and I was in class. I sit at the back and a couple minutes later my friends points out to me the fact that there is a small pool of blood on the ground under my chair. Teacher had a phobia of blood or something and fainted when she saw it.
I ended up having to get stiches, and I still get teased by my friends about it for some asinine reason.
I ended up having to get stiches, and I still get teased by my friends about it for some asinine reason.
Fairly boring stories here. Allow me to demonstrate a better one:
Acouple years ago when I was in a seaside town, I went out partying with some of my friends, needless to say, us being a bunch of manchildren with little caution, we brazenly tried a cocktail called 'THE TERMINATOR', which was served in what I could only assume was a bucket, but I'd had quite afew before that and was more than happy to drink more.
I later learned that the TERMINATOR had approximately 250ml Vodka, 250ml Bacardi rum and 250ml of 'Clear spirit' (The nastiest alcohol known to cheap drunks everywhere down that way). Plus an assortment of fruit juices to deaden the taste.
Collectively, our memories faded to black.
When I woke, the day after, I was still 75% drunk, 25% hungover, when my brain finally engaged, I found myself on the floor of the kitchen in our shared flat, surrounded by:
A traffic cone.
Six pint glasses filled with golden fluid of undetermined origin.
A mercedes symbol, ripped from a car, plus parking ticket.
One bottle of 'Balkan Vodka', empty, with 5 warning labels, (EXTREMELY FLAMABLE and NEVER DRINK STRAIGHT caught my eye, along with the shotglasses).
And what appeared to be an electric handrier, the name of of a local pub was written on it, along with six or seven bathroom tiles still attached.
When the rest of the guys woke up, we laughed, tried to recall what had happened, then disposed of the evidence. Lord help my liver.
Acouple years ago when I was in a seaside town, I went out partying with some of my friends, needless to say, us being a bunch of manchildren with little caution, we brazenly tried a cocktail called 'THE TERMINATOR', which was served in what I could only assume was a bucket, but I'd had quite afew before that and was more than happy to drink more.
I later learned that the TERMINATOR had approximately 250ml Vodka, 250ml Bacardi rum and 250ml of 'Clear spirit' (The nastiest alcohol known to cheap drunks everywhere down that way). Plus an assortment of fruit juices to deaden the taste.
Collectively, our memories faded to black.
When I woke, the day after, I was still 75% drunk, 25% hungover, when my brain finally engaged, I found myself on the floor of the kitchen in our shared flat, surrounded by:
A traffic cone.
Six pint glasses filled with golden fluid of undetermined origin.
A mercedes symbol, ripped from a car, plus parking ticket.
One bottle of 'Balkan Vodka', empty, with 5 warning labels, (EXTREMELY FLAMABLE and NEVER DRINK STRAIGHT caught my eye, along with the shotglasses).
And what appeared to be an electric handrier, the name of of a local pub was written on it, along with six or seven bathroom tiles still attached.
When the rest of the guys woke up, we laughed, tried to recall what had happened, then disposed of the evidence. Lord help my liver.
Buddy of mine had 10 cans, wound up apparently making out with some girl. He has no memory of it, and doesn't know who it was. Just proves that even when he's out of his own head, the man's smooth. Lucky bastard... >.>AnAngryMoose said:
OT: Uh... I lost my virginity underage, AND in a field not far from a walking bridge.
While doing work experience with a national park, I was sent on an orienteering assignment. Rather than give me an Ordnance Survey map, they gave me a small hand drawn map vaguely resembling the area I was to walk through, and a booklet of vague directions and clues for things I was to find.
Due to the clues, terrible map and misleading directions from passersby, I went a few miles out and had to follow the river back. Rather than do the mile and a half horseshoe shapes walk, I did 12 miles total in about 2-3 hours, arriving back only slightly later than I was supposed to.
*Consoled a friend's girlfriend the night they had broken up. Tried to make her feel better, offered to talk to him/mediate between the two of them, she refused etc etc. Eventually led to a pretty good night of sex. Two days later I learned 2 things: they were not, in fact, broken up- she had lied to me for attention/sex and that my friend's girlfriend was CRAZY and that he needed to get away from her.
Confessed to my friend weeks later and he forgave me- during a discussion about how crazy she was after he officially broke up with her.
Confessed to my friend weeks later and he forgave me- during a discussion about how crazy she was after he officially broke up with her.
One time, I was seeing this one girl, but we weren't really exclusive yet. We were at her place making out when I heard a noise. I opened my eyes and saw her boyfriend coming at me with a knife. He managed to cut my shoulder a bit, but I was able to disarm him and bail before anyone could get seriously hurt. XD