The most awkward moment you can remember

[Womplord]

When I was just a little kid, my 3 siblings and I were lying on the floor of my dad's one-room apartment. My dad said, with a smile on his face but seriously, "I can imagine all of you 30 or 40 years old lying around here."

Literally for over 2 minutes we just looked at each other, stunned that our dad was serious. We were all thinking, "I'm gonna be far, far away from here."

And that is the story of the world's most awkward moment.

 

[Jonluw]

Why would you...
Why would you play strip poker while watching porn if none of you were gay?

Does Girls Gone Wild really count as porn? I've seen the dude version and it's 90% drunk guys being drunk guys and about 7% ass and 3% cock.

So long as it's designed to arouse the people who watch it, I'll call it porn.
I don't think it's artsy enough to be called erotica.

Regardless of whether it was actual porn or not though, it is designed to make you horny from what I gather, and that's not exactly the kind of material a bunch of straight dudes should be watching while playing strip poker.

 

[Lt._nefarious]

2 moments spring to mind...

1) I was with a couple buddies of mine over at some guys house playing videogames and what have you and then one of my buddies, whom I will name Clarence, took out a joint and being the only one there who didn't smoke, drink or any of that stuff said I needed to use the bathroom so I got up and left the room. When I came back Clarence smiled, said he left me a puff and handed me the joint... I smiled and said the following "Wow, Clarence, that is a gracious offer but... um... I can't do that right now but I swear to god next time I'll totally... eh... take a... draw... on that... um... weed and get wasted... I erm... I need to use the bathroom..."

2) With another buddy of mine, whom I shall call Carl, I saw this 19 something woman and this was the ensuing conversation;

Me "She is hot!"
Carl " That's my sister."
Me "Still hot."
Carl "Shut up."
Me "Dude, I'd f*ck your sister."
Carl "Please... Stop..."
Me "What you wouldn't "tap dat"?"
Carl "She. Is. My. Sister."
Me "Oh stop being a baby."
Carl "I hate you..."
Me "Wait... She's really your sister? She looks nothing like you"
Carl "Yes."
Me "..."
Carl "..."
Me "Dude... Your sister is hot..."

 

[The Ubermensch]

This wasn't so awkward for me, cause I'm a troll, my sister on the other hand

About six years ago I left some porn out on my computer, normally I'm quite careful with my porn but for what ever reason I didn't that time. My sister came in and saw it, and I lied and said a mate had shared it with me, when in fact I was just, you know; jacking it.

Now a few days ago I was at my mums for a few nights and my sister try's to barge through my door, but I had since came up with a method of locking it (Katana wedged behind a free standing wardrobe and the wall with the hilt blocking the door). It takes me a while to open up and she asks "why was the door locked?" and adds "Were you jacking it?". To which I respond, "Yeah, I was fapping, so?" sarcastically

She had a friend over (I say friend, What I mean is fuck buddy. My family is a little fucked) and as I'm a brony they of course make assumptions, joke that I was in fact tossing my salad, remarking that the mate who I had said sent me that porn turned out gay and came to the conclusion that I'm also gay. I'll be honest, if I woke up next to a man I would not have to get rid of my dick or anything, but its not something I'd actively seek out. I would of course be the top.

Anyway the following day I'm talking to a guy under me on the phone, cause some shit went down or something, I can't remember. He's what we call a Magnificent Bastard, so he's pretty funny to drink with. He's had his tongue down my sisters throat before, but honestly I'm just glad she's not stripping at this point. So there is already some tention. Now he's taking my ear off at this stage so I put him on speaker so I can play Skyrim. And my sister comes in, calling him a fucking creepy mother fucker and shit, after about five minutes of that I tell her to go away, and then she says "Hey Zac, my brother's gay".

"Ok dear sister, what is your reasoning behind this?"
"Last night you know, you locked your door and were looking at porn"
"Imotosan, the only porn I look at is lesbian porn" (Used to be a true story, now I take notes from the masters)
"What about that time Tom sent you that porn, and he turned out gay!"
"Sis, that was ages ago... and I lied... I was pounding the pud"
"So last night you were actually... Having a date with Hannah and her five sisters!?!"

The look on her face when she realised I had a sexual drive was priceless

"And yes, I'm into arse play"

Zac, still on speaker phone fucking lost it.

As she walked away with that kind of ridged walk when someone hears something that they really wish they hadn't I yelled

"Oh come on! When one of your boyfriends Jilled you off right next to me while we watched 28 days later I SAID NOTHING!"

Edit: It was the same reaction she had when she found Mother's dildo. "Hey sis, guess where you came from? Because if it was immaculate conception I'll eat my hat daemon spawn"

... My family is fucked

 

[MaxiP62]

Quite recently this happened actually, in fact it has happened multiple times. I have walked in from School and seen my 72 year old dad watching some porn channel on TV... He tries to change the channel without looking and fails a considerable amount of times. I just try to avoid him on days when that happens...

 

[Jonluw]

Playing strip poker with some guy friends of mine while watching Girls Gone Wild on HBO in a hotel, then going camping the next day and having nobody say a single word. At all. Fun times eh?

Why would you...
Why would you play strip poker while watching porn if none of you were gay?

Why would you play strip poker with a bunch of guys at all?

Good question.
The only reason I can think of is that you have nothing else to play with.

I remember back when I was 10 or something, there was this poker fad running over my school. During a trip to a neighboring county for a football cup, some of the boys decided to play a game of strip/punishment poker. That is, the loser is stripped and humiliated.
Turns out I suck at poker.
I had to do a round inside the building we were using as lodgings with my only article of clothing being a sock.

Pretty much haven't played poker since.

 

[Eddy-16]

Once, when I was at college I accidently grabbed a girl's boob while reaching for the banister on the stairs. I wasn't looking where I was grabbing so it took me like 5 or 6 seconds to realise and she just sorta stood there with a confused look on her face. I ran off after a hurried apology.

Turns out she was friends with my mate and I had to walk like 2/3s of the way home with her and my mate in an awkward silence.

 

[Jonluw]

Good question.
The only reason I can think of is that you have nothing else to play with.

I remember back when I was 10 or something, there was this poker fad running over my school. During a trip to a neighboring county for a football cup, some of the boys decided to play a game of strip/punishment poker. That is, the loser is stripped and humiliated.
Turns out I suck at poker.
I had to do a round inside the building we were using as lodgings with my only article of clothing being a sock.

Pretty much haven't played poker since.

I've only ever played with at least a 50/50 gender divide... I thought that was the point?

Apparently it isn't...

 

[Ickorus]

The most awkward thing I can remember is so embarrassing I can feel my very soul cringe back from the memory when I think about it, as such I will not speak of it here.

It involved an ex-girlfriend and a case of mistaken identity, that is all I will say.

 

[Smeatza]

A colleague once turned to me and said "You have a jew nose."
And see as we were being politically incorrect I said "No I have a n*gg*r nose." (it's fat, not long)
She then replied, "I'm half African."

She told me not to worry about it but I just felt like a douche whenever I was around her from then on.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Pretty much my entire life, so I?ll just tell you the most recent one. Two days ago, I was at a field party with my friends, and I was talking to a girl that I knew. My friend shouted as he passed by to not do anything with her, as she?s a Christian, to which I replied that I already knew that and was just talking anyway. She then brought up something that happened at a beach party a couple of weeks or months before, when I?d drunkenly pleaded with her to have sex with me. I got anxious at the memory, explained to her again that I was drunk, and then bluntly said (without thinking about the tact of my words, as both my mood and self-esteem was pretty low at the time due to my social ineptitude and overall depression), ?I wouldn?t have sex with you anyway.?

Now, I?m not sure what her expression on her face was, as it was very dark by this time, but I just remember both of us staring at each other afterwards in awkward silence, and even though I should?ve explained that I didn?t mean any offence, I cowardly slinked off to talk with another group of friends. I?m not sure whether or not she was particularly bothered by that, and I have a tendency to think that things are more awkward than they actually are, but whatever.

Oh, another awkward moment that?s less recent which I think I?ve mentioned here before. I guess I should start by saying that my sister had long since moved out when she went to university, and now that she?d come back, my mother had to sleep in my old bedroom, while my sister and I slept in her old bedroom (which my mum usually slept in), with me in the top bunk and her in the bottom bunk. It?s complicated. Anyway, early morning, I got up for breakfast or go to the toilet or whatever. When I returned, I saw my sister?shuffling?under her sheets, and then suddenly shouted at me for not knocking. Luckily, I didn?t see anything, since the lights were off, so I muttered that it was kind of my room now, so I shouldn?t have to knock, to which she retorted that it?s not and it?s still her bedroom. So I awkwardly climbed up to my top bunk and tried to sleep.

So there was a really nice girl at my school, and she was always kind when I was depressed (all the time).

One day, I was really pissed off. Really really angry about something. I'd also had a hair-cut the day before, so she, to lighten the mood, said "Oh, I like your haircut." I, being the incredibly witty and nice guy I am, said "No, that's just the chemotherapy". She never spoke to me again.

Then, about a week later, her mum died of cancer, which she'd been struggling with for ages.
I died inside.
I'm still dead inside.
Oh dear God I'm a horrible person.

Oh shit. None of my awkward moments even compares to that. :O

 

[Jubbert]

This wasn't so awkward for me, cause I'm a troll, my sister on the other hand

About six years ago I left some porn out on my computer, normally I'm quite careful with my porn but for what ever reason I didn't that time. My sister came in and saw it, and I lied and said a mate had shared it with me, when in fact I was just, you know; jacking it.

Now a few days ago I was at my mums for a few nights and my sister try's to barge through my door, but I had since came up with a method of locking it (Katana wedged behind a free standing wardrobe and the wall with the hilt blocking the door). It takes me a while to open up and she asks "why was the door locked?" and adds "Were you jacking it?". To which I respond, "Yeah, I was fapping, so?" sarcastically

She had a friend over (I say friend, What I mean is fuck buddy. My family is a little fucked) and as I'm a brony they of course make assumptions, joke that I was in fact tossing my salad, remarking that the mate who I had said sent me that porn turned out gay and came to the conclusion that I'm also gay. I'll be honest, if I woke up next to a man I would not have to get rid of my dick or anything, but its not something I'd actively seek out. I would of course be the top.

Anyway the following day I'm talking to a guy under me on the phone, cause some shit went down or something, I can't remember. He's what we call a Magnificent Bastard, so he's pretty funny to drink with. He's had his tongue down my sisters throat before, but honestly I'm just glad she's not stripping at this point. So there is already some tention. Now he's taking my ear off at this stage so I put him on speaker so I can play Skyrim. And my sister comes in, calling him a fucking creepy mother fucker and shit, after about five minutes of that I tell her to go away, and then she says "Hey Zac, my brother's gay".

"Ok dear sister, what is your reasoning behind this?"
"Last night you know, you locked your door and were looking at porn"
"Imotosan, the only porn I look at is lesbian porn" (Used to be a true story, now I take notes from the masters)
"What about that time Tom sent you that porn, and he turned out gay!"
"Sis, that was ages ago... and I lied... I was pounding the pud"
"So last night you were actually... Having a date with Hannah and her five sisters!?!"

The look on her face when she realised I had a sexual drive was priceless

"And yes, I'm into arse play"

Zac, still on speaker phone fucking lost it.

As she walked away with that kind of ridged walk when someone hears something that they really wish they hadn't I yelled

"Oh come on! When one of your boyfriends Jilled you off right next to me while we watched 28 days later I SAID NOTHING!"

Edit: It was the same reaction she had when she found Mother's dildo. "Hey sis, guess where you came from? Because if it was immaculate conception I'll eat my hat daemon spawn"

... My family is fucked

Oh my fucking god, I love you. I just do. You're my hero.

 

[ReadyAmyFire]

Some of these are hilarious. I was caught in the buff this morning by my gay housemate, but I think it was more awkward for him than me.

 

[DrRockor]

2 moments spring to mind...

2) With another buddy of mine, whom I shall call Carl, I saw this 19 something woman and this was the ensuing conversation;

Me "She is hot!"
Carl " That's my sister."
Me "Still hot."
Carl "Shut up."
Me "Dude, I'd f*ck your sister."
Carl "Please... Stop..."
Me "What you wouldn't "tap dat"?"
Carl "She. Is. My. Sister."
Me "Oh stop being a baby."
Carl "I hate you..."
Me "Wait... She's really your sister? She looks nothing like you"
Carl "Yes."
Me "..."
Carl "..."
Me "Dude... Your sister is hot..."

That conversation is awesome and I love you for it.

OT: I cant think of one, I have a feeling I mentally block that sort of thing.

captcha: it happens. Weirdly appropiate

 

[Dfskelleton]

One I remember well was at the Library, of all places.
I was about 9 (I've always enjoyed reading), and I was with my grandparents walking to my local public library, which to be fair is probably one of the nicest buildings we have in my city, mainly because the people who own it TAKE CARE OF IT. Anyways, out front they have an odd rock formation, possibly a very early wheel. Being 9, I remembered a cartoon where a caveman was wearing something similar on his head, struggling to move. I gleefully exclaim "That looks like a hat for a caveman!". It was at that moment that an older man in a straw hat passed by me, and gave me a funny look. I felt terrible afterwards.
EDIT: Whoah, what I just said is NOTHING compared to some of the other things posted here.

 

[Elgnirp100]

I was watching Torchwood: Miracle Day, and in episode 6 or 7 there happens to be a gay sex scene. Naturally my parents picked that precise moment to walk in and ask me what I was doing.

 

[Lt._nefarious]

2 moments spring to mind...

2) With another buddy of mine, whom I shall call Carl, I saw this 19 something woman and this was the ensuing conversation;

Me "She is hot!"
Carl " That's my sister."
Me "Still hot."
Carl "Shut up."
Me "Dude, I'd f*ck your sister."
Carl "Please... Stop..."
Me "What you wouldn't "tap dat"?"
Carl "She. Is. My. Sister."
Me "Oh stop being a baby."
Carl "I hate you..."
Me "Wait... She's really your sister? She looks nothing like you"
Carl "Yes."
Me "..."
Carl "..."
Me "Dude... Your sister is hot..."

That conversation is awesome and I love you for it.

OT: I cant think of one, I have a feeling I mentally block that sort of thing.

captcha: it happens. Weirdly appropiate

I don't love you particularly... But you have a sister, maybe? I could love her, yes? btw this invitation only extends if your sister is of legal age...

(I'm so sorry and I hate myself for asking you that...)