The most awkward moment you can remember

[Jonluw]

Ooh, I remember another one now:

I was about 10 years old, and visiting an art exhibition. This exhibition consisted of different small rocks glued on top of each other. The rocks were about the size of, eh... a laptop touchpad? The kind of smooth rocks that you'd find by the seaside.
There were also some pictures of them in front of sunsets and such.

I, being a child, was bored. I was walking around looking at the price tags. It was at this point I started to realize that each pair of rocks was consistently priced at over $1000.

Even as a child I harboured some resentment for modern art, so upon seeing the prices I loudly launched into an energetic rant.
"How the hell can the artist take this kind of money for two rocks placed on top of eachother? A six year old could do this. As a matter of fact, we have an almost identical figure in our living room that I made at school a couple of years ago.
It takes no skill at all. Why would anyone buy this junk when they can just walk down to the water, pick up two rocks, and create the exact same product?"

It was at this point I noticed my mother trying to subtly kick my shin.
I looked at her
"What?"
"See that guy standing over there? That's the artist."
"..."

 

[Jonluw]

I don't love you particularly... But you have a sister, maybe? I could love her, yes? btw this invitation only extends if your sister is of legal age...

(I'm so sorry and I hate myself for asking you that...)

Uuurrh...
My friends keep making jokes that they'd do my sister.
I mean, I know they're joking, but it gets annoying after a while.

On one occasion, they were visiting my house and we were hanging out in the living room. They noticed a picture of my sister we've got standing around.
"Dude, is that your sister? She's hot man."
"Yeah, I'd totally do your sister."

"...
You guys do realize that she was twelve years old when that picture was taken, right?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

The bestest story that I ever did read! ^u^

You, my good sir, are a trolling god among men.
I'm not sure what I liked best, the side note about what you would do if you woke up next to a man or the rest of it.

I once had a (straight male) mate fall asleep on top of me, in front of another mate.
Both of us were almost naked.

Not really embarrassing, because I woke up before either of them. Though waking up to your friend's face next to yours is kind of surprising.

 

[lettucethesallad]

Mom walked in on me while I was butt naked with a guy I'd been seeing, threw him out in the middle of the night and grounded me. Let's just say that breakfast was awkward that next day.

 

[rosac]

Waking up next to my workmate after a heavy night is certainly up there. Urgh.

 

[ChildishLegacy]

Any time I try to speak to a group of people larger than 4 pretty much.

In my Maths class we were picking groups to write up revision notes or some shit, I was one of the people that were picking people.

I wasn't paying attention so I asked my teacher who was left, he replied with: [Girl] [Guy] [Guy] [Guy whos name he replaced with the female version as a joke]
I tried to carry on with the joke and said "We'll take the girl then!", forgetting about the initial girl. I get the feeling I offended the girl when I said I meant the final guy after the initial awkwardness of me saying that too.

Just every time I open my mouth in situations like that (which is rarely), I just assert myself more as this awkward, quiet person and I'm really not when I get to know people/am paying a bit more attention. Gaah.

Oh, and having a conversation with some friend I hadn't seen in years about hentai. God knows how that happened.

 

[Eamar]

I was staying with my boyfriend over the Easter university holiday and one of his friends (who I vaguely know but wouldn't really call my friend) came to hang out. We'd been sat around chatting for a while when he says "so, are you going to put that away at some point?" Turns out we'd left a butt plug out on a side table after using it earlier and had both completely forgotten about it. Red faces all round.

 

[NegaWiki]

Texting example, but not what you think.
I was in history class talking to my friend "X". He told me about a genre of manga called yuri. I didn't know what that meant so I texted my friend "C". She told me. Then X and I texted our friend "T", who wants to buy a harem game. Eventually the texts turned into a competition to out gross each other so I sent him something I don't even want to post.
I sent it to C, T, my freshmen friend G, junior friend O and my girlfriend.
The one time auto correct would have been a Godsend.

 

[CardinalPiggles]

At work my friend mentioned he thought mushrooms taste like cum, everyone turned around and just kind of stopped for a second because he's straight (as far as we know, he could be bisexual), but in those few seconds it was pretty damn awkward.

 

[Johnny Impact]

I don't remember what grade I was in, 7th maybe, but one time this girl decided it would be the absolute pinnacle of humor to write a very long, very bad poem about me masturbating in public, and then read said poem in front of me and over 100 students.

Still not sure why she did it. I wasn't sure of her name, had never looked at her, and wasn't in any of the same classes. Up to that point I had only been marginally aware she even existed. I hadn't offended her or any of her friends that I know of.

As I was already a pariah -- a skinny, shy, acne-riddled, braces-bedecked, Coke-bottle-glasses-wearing, 99th percentile academic geek -- there wasn't anywhere further down the social ladder than the space I already occupied.

I couldn't put it in words then, but it was as if I had just seen someone take a running start and punt a puppy like the Olympic Puppy-Kicking medal was on the line. There simply couldn't be any justification.

Anyway, this spectacularly awful prank turned into a series of jokes and insults that lasted all the way through senior year. I'm sure I'd still be taking shit for it today if I had any contact with former classmates.

 

[Camembert]

*sigh* My mom caught me masturbating. Jeeeeeeeezus. I cringe even remembering it, and it was 7 years ago.

My father heard me masturbating, not sure if that's worse (I'm female). While getting out of the bath once I nearly fell, making quite a racket as I scrambled to save myself from smashing my face on the radiator, and when I next spoke to my dad I said, 'Did you hear me nearly fall out of the bath?'

With a raised eyebrow he replied, 'I heard a lot of things'

-__-

 

[inutaisho7996]

When I was in Health Class in high school, our teacher had a box in the back of the room that we could anonymously put questions we had about sex into so that she could answer them at the end of the sex-ed portion of the class. When she was answering them, she pulled out the next question and one of the science teachers opened the door to the classroom just in time to hear her say "Why do boys masturbate more than girls?". Every one turned and looked at him as he stood in the door way in stunned silence for several seconds, and then he said "A...am I supposed to answer that?" After he talked to our teacher about what the wanted to talk to her about, he stopped at the door on his way out and said "Good luck with your lesson topic today."


I was in another class, and the whole class when silent just in time for us all to hear one of the guys say "I don't want any girl I'm having sex with reading during sex...unless she's reading a comic book...to me." Then he realized that everyone in the room was staring at him and he said "Uh...what conversation wasn't for all of you to hear."

 

[The Ubermensch]

So there was a really nice girl at my school, and she was always kind when I was depressed (all the time).

One day, I was really pissed off. Really really angry about something. I'd also had a hair-cut the day before, so she, to lighten the mood, said "Oh, I like your haircut." I, being the incredibly witty and nice guy I am, said "No, that's just the chemotherapy". She never spoke to me again.

Then, about a week later, her mum died of cancer, which she'd been struggling with for ages.
I died inside.
I'm still dead inside.
Oh dear God I'm a horrible person.

Life is pain bro, it makes the good parts all the more enjoyable.

You didn't mean it, and you regret it. You made a mistake and it happens.

*Hugs*

Now I hate to see some one with potential of such EPIC proportions to stop trolling. You're not living until you've pissed someone off enough that they try to take a swing at you. GET OUT THERE AND TROLL ON!

*Slaps on the arse*

 

[The Ubermensch]

*sigh* My mom caught me masturbating. Jeeeeeeeezus. I cringe even remembering it, and it was 7 years ago.

My father heard me masturbating, not sure if that's worse (I'm female). While getting out of the bath once I nearly fell, making quite a racket as I scrambled to save myself from smashing my face on the radiator, and when I next spoke to my dad I said, 'Did you hear me nearly fall out of the bath?'

With a raised eyebrow he replied, 'I heard a lot of things'

-__-

My Mum walked in on me, but I was drunk at the time... and I don't remember it too well

There was this other time where I was trying to Jack it and she kept coming into my room with laundry and shit. How I didn't get caught then I'll never know. Oh and just FYI, I was having insomnia at the time... It helps

Capcha: Whistle and Flute

 

[Queen Michael]

It happened esterday, at the gay pride parade in GOthenburg, Sweden. It was starting, and people were marching away, but when about a fifth of the parade had started walking away, we noticed that the rest wasn't moving. pparently, they hadn't been lined up properly or something, so the first fifth wasn't connected to the rest. The rest of us just stood there, not certain what to do, as the first fifth kept walking away. I jumped out of my spot and went to them, since I was darn determined that I would march. Luckily, the rest of the people eventually caught up.

 

[Freaky Lou]

The most awkward thing I can remember is so embarrassing I can feel my very soul cringe back from the memory when I think about it, as such I will not speak of it here.

It involved an ex-girlfriend and a case of mistaken identity, that is all I will say.

Now that you've basically said what this was in another thread, I can tell you I had the same thing happen, and yes, that'd be my own most awkward moment as well!

 

[IrishBerserker]

I was in my Grade 12 Law class and I overheard one of the other students ask how you break someone?s neck. So being rather knowledgeable about certain military tactics, I pipe-up and give an impromptu lesson on how to silently break a persons neck. Also adding some tips on how to effectively cut a persons throat and jab a knife behind someone's ear into the brain for a quick silent kill. With some demonstrations on my friend sitting beside me.

This lesson lasted about five minutes and afterward there was a pause, then the same student asked me how I knew all of that and I couldn't effectively answer that. I got some weird looks for the rest of that class.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

snip

Ugh...your story...my god.

OP: At a previous job I worked at all of the female coworkers were crowded around this one cell phone and I was curious to see what they were looking at and.....someone's boyfriend had sent a pic of their dick. I felt so awkward and quickly left. X(

 

[dudycat1]

me and my girlfriend having to be in the same room as my brother when he broke to our parents that he got his girlfriend pregnant, and then having to be the room while both my mum and my dad went apeshit and screamed at my brother basically forcing both me and my girlfriend into sitting there in silence for about 30 minutes while my brother was screamed at. that was horribly awkward and ended in me apologizing to my girlfriend about 10 times.

 

[Spoonius]

I slept in my mum

I can see how that might be awkward.