Ever heard of "Did you say Texas?" It's a Jughead/Mr. Weatherbee slash fic.
I'll let that sink in for a second.
Good? Alright. So, Jughead's in detention for some reason, and Miss Grundy and Professor Flutesnoot seem to be unavailable as detention watchdogs. So Weatherbee's stuck after hours, and decides to spent time quizzing Forsythe P. Jones on the States of America. He stops paying attention after a while and fails to notice that Jughead's taken to cramming himself full of chocolate bars behind a book. Once he does notice, instead of doing the sensible thing and scold the pig, he just sits there, as though Sweet Marys were the most erotic things since the Fleshlight.
The discussion then shifts from the States to food porn, if such a thing exists, which finally culminates with Jughead revealing that not only is he really good at giving head - he's had practice with Archie. We learn that Weatherbee is massively hung and that the stutter and general awkwardness from the sixties' Archie Show stems from his repressed attraction to the male teens in school.
I'll wait over there with a bottle of bleach and a spare glass, thankyouverymuch.
So Principal McFatass and Jughead go at it in graphic detail, all the while stuffing their faces with Jughead's smuggled junk food. They mysteriously manage to clean themselves off despite having no bathrooms available, Weatherbee rights his clothes, and then offers Jughead to visit him the next day, back home for some fingerquotes-extracurricular activities-fingerquotes.
Jughead smiles slyly and says that it sounds like a swell idea.
Fin.
I honestly don't remember where I've read that and I've tried searching for this fic by name, but it seems as though ACP put a rather justified amount of pressure on the original writer and had the material eradicated from the face of the Web. I do know it was briefly mentioned on Godawful.net (Godawful Fanfiction, where My Immortal was also briefly accessible)