The most stupid thing ever said to you...

[Simalacrum]

well, I can't remember the stupidest thing someone has ever said to me, but I do know the stupidest thing I've ever said to someone..

me (on a farm): "oh look, chickens!"
farmer: "yeah their nice aren't they?"
me: "what type of animals are chickens?"
farmer: "erm... birds?"
me: "....... oh yeah..." *runs away in embarrasment*

 

[Xojins]

One of my friends in a study class: "So, are you a pacifist, or an optimist?"
Me: Blank stare.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

"Stop or I shoot!"

Yeah, like that's gonna happen.

 

[Optional Opinion]

My friend was reading the piece-of-crap-for-a-newspaper called the sun and read aloud part of it:

"She murdered thirty people to death."

Seriously. I'm so glad they cleared that one up for me, because I was under the impression that murdered meant something completely different.

How dare you mock The Sun that paper is deigned and perfectly meets the criteria for intellectuals and sophisticated perverts. Page 3 is a blessing, it keeps many of bored husband from caving in their spouses head with rusty irons. Soft porn for the masses at it's best.

 

[Wilfy]

Friend: My dad had to learn German when he went to Dublin.
Me: German? You sure?
Friend: Yeah. Dublin's the capital of Germany, stupid.
Me: No, that's Berlin. Dublin's in Ireland.
Friend: Oh.

 

[talait]

i work at a mcdonalds working the 24 hour drive thru overnight. and i constantly get customers asking (usually around 3am) if i'm stoned, because i "look tired"

i occasionally get asked this by other staff members on the night shifts too. :s

 

[chiggerwood]

Doctor: Do you feel depressed?
Me: Well I,m feeling a little down because a friend of mine just died, but usually I'm a chipper guy.
Doctor: Looks like you're suffering from depression.

I'm not freakin' kidding I swear.

 

[Blow_Pop]

On Facebook.

Me "Explosion at a pie factory. 3.14159265 dead."
Friend 1 "Serious?"
Friend 2 "Idiot."
Friend 1 "I don't get it."
Friend 2 "It's a math joke."
Friend 1 "Nerds."

hahahahahahaha I laughed hard at that one.

No joke a guy and i were talking in a video game store Gamestop, well actually he interrupted my conversation that i was having with my friend behind the counter. Looks at me, I'm obviously a female and i had my psp out mid game while said friend was answering the phone or helping a customer

Him: You're seriously a girl?
Me: ".........." (blank stare) excuse me?
Him: You play video games right?
Me: "......." (blank stare) that's what I'm doing right now isn't it?
Him: But girls don't play video games

my friend luckily got off the phone again just in time to restrain me from punching the dude and pulling a knife on him.

 

[teutonicman]

The earth was created in 6 days.

 

[BlindTom]

It's very foolish to ask me "How are you?" I was under the impression you just answered honestly.

 

[T-Bone24]

"What do you Jewish boys wear on their heads?"
"A Bible?"

 

[PEAKSSS]

well i was at work at coles (supermarket) and i had a trolley full to the top with cornflakes...

Random girl: hey excuse me...do you work here?
Me: (sarcastically) nahhhhh i just really...REALLY like cornflakes...
Random girl: oh my god me too! not as much as you im guessing (smiles)
Me: uh i was just kidding...what can i help you with?

obviously she needs more help than i can provide

 

[Kloffy]

I once decided to give a friend a fond insult in the form of "you have more rolls than a bakery" in reference to his weight. His reply? "That's racist."

 

[Fooshi]

"You're so fu**ing gay!"
... when i was talking with my girlfriend

 

[abysk]

While my friend was in Japanese class someone decided to ask "How do you say Ninja in Japanese?"

 

[Osloq]

Sister: What continent is South Africa in again?
Me: Are you serious?
Sister: Oh...yeah

I was talking to a friend about where we'd been over the world and where we still wanted to go.

Friend: Well I really want to go to Antarctica and South America because then I'll have been to every continent
Me: What the hell are you talking about? You've been to South America you idiot. You went to Argentina last year for a month
Friend: God you're a moron. Argentina is in Africa
Me:Wuh? Have you been sniffing glue today or something?

He was completely serious. He went to the country for god's sake! How could he not know what continent it is? Eventually I went and got a globe and now I tell that story in front of girls if he's trying to rip on me

 

[Jerious1154]

Two from a US government class I took a few years ago:
"Is Oregon a state?"
"Isn't the House of Representatives where the Senators sleep?"

Both from the same person.

 

[esperandote]

Me: "[name here] is that you?"
Other person: "no, im not me" (trying to trick me)

 

[KaiRai]

One guy told me I should make my cartoons more kid friendly because adults don't really like cartoons.

Did you ram a knife in his eye? It certainly sounds like he deserved it.

Or, call big worm on his ass! Or get cuddles to stick him!

 

[cowbell40]

Me: How's the weather?
Friend: Yes, yes it does

We might as well put up all the Joeisms.