'Nice guys' need to snap the fuck out of it, stop obsessing over a single woman, stalking her and putting her on a pedestal. That's how you miss out on meeting the birds who will give you the time of day.
The "Nice Guy" Syndrome
- Thread starter Syrus Vikeruce
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Eh, most "nice guys" just come off as brooding weirdos who REALLY want to get with someone, and when they get turned down (for whatever reason), rather than take it upon themselves they turn it around on the other person for not realizing how "nice" they are.
Agree 100%!Dags90 said:
If I had a dollar every time a "Nice Guy" made creepy comments about how they know what's best for the pretty girl they have a crush on, I'd go buy a sandwich.
"Nice guys" are usually creepy, manipulative, awkward weirdos. By "nice guys" I mean the ones who describe themselves as "nice guys". Not real nice men.
Yeah, my nice guy only lasts for so long before you get to the creamy, hate filled core. I do try to get ppl to leave before I get to that point, but those Jehovah's Witnesses just dont know when to GTFO.Hazy said:
Used to be me. Got over it a long time ago.
"Nice Guy" is a misnomer. Nice guys are not actually "nice", they're resentful and manipulative. They treat girls well with expectations of what may come from it, and their confidence is so shot that when they actually get into a relationship they become doormats and both parties slowly start feeling miserable.
Speaking from strong experience: Snap out of it and start living for yourself. Grow some confidence and start enjoying single life. If you can not be happy by yourself, you will never be happy.
"Nice Guy" is a misnomer. Nice guys are not actually "nice", they're resentful and manipulative. They treat girls well with expectations of what may come from it, and their confidence is so shot that when they actually get into a relationship they become doormats and both parties slowly start feeling miserable.
Speaking from strong experience: Snap out of it and start living for yourself. Grow some confidence and start enjoying single life. If you can not be happy by yourself, you will never be happy.
yeah, we've had discussions about "Nice guys" here before and they never end well. I'll just say what I always say - There's nothing wrong with being nice, and I don't think most "nice guys" act the way they do on purpose, but if you ever find yourself thinking "Why can't she like me, I'm a nice guy, she only likes jerks", you're a selfish moron and you need to grow out of that pretty quick, or you'll never find anyone.Dags90 said:
If I had a dollar every time a "Nice Guy" made creepy comments about how they know what's best for the pretty girl they have a crush on, I'd go buy a sandwich.
not talking about the person I quoted - they just seem to know the score about "Nice Guy" topics on this forum
I'd like to echo this man's wisdom.Hazy said:
I've had being a nice guy work out great for me. Lots of friends and fun, basically no conflict, pretty chill as long as you're happy with where you're at.
EDIT:
And I wholeheartedly agree with this.Altorin said:yeah, we've had discussions about "Nice guys" here before and they never end well. I'll just say what I always say - There's nothing wrong with being nice, and I don't think most "nice guys" act the way they do on purpose, but if you ever find yourself thinking "Why can't she like me, I'm a nice guy, she only likes jerks", you're a selfish moron and you need to grow out of that pretty quick, or you'll never find anyone.
not talking about the person I quoted - they just seem to know the score about "Nice Guy" topics on this forum
Sometimes I read some of the comments by the "Nice Guys" on this forums and can't help but think "Is this person trying to sound borderline psychotic? Am I being trolled?"Altorin said:
Seriously, if you ever think "Why can't she see that she that I'm perfect for her!?" or "Why doesn't she appreciate how much I love her?" you should probably see some variety of headshrinker.
My technique is to flat out tell the chick I'm interested, and then proceed to nice it up (i.e.: be myself).
Works 100% of the time. Actually, it only worked once. But I only tried it once. So, 100%, technically.
EDIT: As other have said, being nice doesn't mean being a doormat. It just means being perfectly pleasant and caring.
Works 100% of the time. Actually, it only worked once. But I only tried it once. So, 100%, technically.
EDIT: As other have said, being nice doesn't mean being a doormat. It just means being perfectly pleasant and caring.
You mean the bashful, timid type that whines about low self-esteem to make girls feel sorry for him and want to console him and cuddle him and tell him he's adorable? It works on me, dammit, it really is quite cute but all it comes down to is a difficult situation when I realise I've led him on and don't really want to commit to a relationship with a whiny, clingy person.
No, but I've only asked out one girl in my life and I'm still with her 3 years later. So it's not really applicable to me.
I can see how it would happen, though. It always happens to my friend. The thing is, you just have to ask them out. Don't diddle around trying to make friends first.
I can see how it would happen, though. It always happens to my friend. The thing is, you just have to ask them out. Don't diddle around trying to make friends first.
No one is completely to blame, but all partially cause thier own problems.
-"Nice guys" are those who've had bad experiences in thier younger years and no confidence. They don't take risks and try to be happy with girls they really want to see. Usually average to unattractive by society's standards. They are often passive agressive.
-"Jerks" are assertive, they have confidence, and women overwhelmingly say it's important. They usually become this why by being more attractive, which made thier younger years easier. Women don't want to date selfish assholes, but those are often the ones that approach them, not the nice guys.
-Women are in a unique position; they don't have to do much to initiate a relationship because at least in the US, the old traditional expectation of men sticking thier neck out and approaching women is still upheld in the culture. So the confident guys are the ones that approach them, and a lot can be jerks. Women don't like this, but the "nice guys" don't say anything. A lot of women, not all, fall into the habit of dating the assholes over and over again without changing thier standards, and in the 21st century, it's time they start approaching men they like instead of sitting around waiting for someone nice to come along. They need to be pro-active in achieving happiness as much as men.
I was a "nice guy", but I'm working myself out of it. I've had bad confidence issues because of struggling with being bisexual in a religious school for 6 years, but I've addressed those problems and I'm actually doing well now and I've gotten more assertive. So all I can say is: Just do it! No amount of advice is going to help you because you don't do anything different. If you have confidence issues, see someone about it or work on them yourself. It's not easy, but just do it if you ever want a shot at being as happy as you want to be. Just do it! Being nervous is ok, being rejected is ok, and you'll get better at it. Just doooo iiiiiit.
-"Nice guys" are those who've had bad experiences in thier younger years and no confidence. They don't take risks and try to be happy with girls they really want to see. Usually average to unattractive by society's standards. They are often passive agressive.
-"Jerks" are assertive, they have confidence, and women overwhelmingly say it's important. They usually become this why by being more attractive, which made thier younger years easier. Women don't want to date selfish assholes, but those are often the ones that approach them, not the nice guys.
-Women are in a unique position; they don't have to do much to initiate a relationship because at least in the US, the old traditional expectation of men sticking thier neck out and approaching women is still upheld in the culture. So the confident guys are the ones that approach them, and a lot can be jerks. Women don't like this, but the "nice guys" don't say anything. A lot of women, not all, fall into the habit of dating the assholes over and over again without changing thier standards, and in the 21st century, it's time they start approaching men they like instead of sitting around waiting for someone nice to come along. They need to be pro-active in achieving happiness as much as men.
I was a "nice guy", but I'm working myself out of it. I've had bad confidence issues because of struggling with being bisexual in a religious school for 6 years, but I've addressed those problems and I'm actually doing well now and I've gotten more assertive. So all I can say is: Just do it! No amount of advice is going to help you because you don't do anything different. If you have confidence issues, see someone about it or work on them yourself. It's not easy, but just do it if you ever want a shot at being as happy as you want to be. Just do it! Being nervous is ok, being rejected is ok, and you'll get better at it. Just doooo iiiiiit.
this is just a wild guess, but is your avatar a stan lee smiley?Blue_vision said:I'd like to echo this man's wisdom.Hazy said:
I've had being a nice guy work out great for me. Lots of friends and fun, basically no conflict, pretty chill as long as you're happy with where you're at.
EDIT:
And I wholeheartedly agree with this.Altorin said:yeah, we've had discussions about "Nice guys" here before and they never end well. I'll just say what I always say - There's nothing wrong with being nice, and I don't think most "nice guys" act the way they do on purpose, but if you ever find yourself thinking "Why can't she like me, I'm a nice guy, she only likes jerks", you're a selfish moron and you need to grow out of that pretty quick, or you'll never find anyone.
not talking about the person I quoted - they just seem to know the score about "Nice Guy" topics on this forum
Women who actively pursue relationships are often considered to be overly aggressive or promiscuous.[footnote]http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/should-women-ask-men-out-on-first-dates/[/footnote]sravankb said:
We don't really encourage women to break traditional gender roles expect in some narrow cases like careers.
Nice guy syndrome... f**king creeps.
Now here's a big difference between "nice guys" and genuinely nice people.
I've been "nice" most of my life. It's partially because I'm a romantic and partially because of who I am. It's all because of my mother. I was raised on chick flicks.
/lifestory
Point being, I have four things I'll never do
1. I'd never date anyone I couldn't be friends with, it just seems kind of wrong, even slightly abusive.
2. I never think of sex first. Sure, sex is great, but going into any kind of relationship thinking you just want to bone them places you squarely inside my asshole qualifications.
3. Have to at least know them. Again, this feels slightly wrong if you don't.
4. Better part of valour. I lack self-confidence, so I have to have at least a hint that a feeling is mutual. I can just go on living my life, and I can live happily alone, so a rush is fairly pointless.
This would seem the creep thing, only the greatest difference is to make sure you aren't too close. As in, not dependent upon you, because that is just abusive. Plain and simple. And the why can't... is really just whiny.
That and, I never meet someone and expect something. I'll get to know them first, then try to ask them out if I still feel the same way. If not, I have a friend. It just seems more... decent. Of course, there's a lot of waffling about (see: lack of self-confidence) before I actually get up the nerve to say something.
I also try to be pleasant and helpful in general. Sometimes I fail, sometimes I look like an idiot, but at least I don't look like an asshole.
If someone thinks I'm profoundly wrong, I'm open to your opinions.
Now here's a big difference between "nice guys" and genuinely nice people.
I've been "nice" most of my life. It's partially because I'm a romantic and partially because of who I am. It's all because of my mother. I was raised on chick flicks.
/lifestory
Point being, I have four things I'll never do
1. I'd never date anyone I couldn't be friends with, it just seems kind of wrong, even slightly abusive.
2. I never think of sex first. Sure, sex is great, but going into any kind of relationship thinking you just want to bone them places you squarely inside my asshole qualifications.
3. Have to at least know them. Again, this feels slightly wrong if you don't.
4. Better part of valour. I lack self-confidence, so I have to have at least a hint that a feeling is mutual. I can just go on living my life, and I can live happily alone, so a rush is fairly pointless.
This would seem the creep thing, only the greatest difference is to make sure you aren't too close. As in, not dependent upon you, because that is just abusive. Plain and simple. And the why can't... is really just whiny.
That and, I never meet someone and expect something. I'll get to know them first, then try to ask them out if I still feel the same way. If not, I have a friend. It just seems more... decent. Of course, there's a lot of waffling about (see: lack of self-confidence) before I actually get up the nerve to say something.
I also try to be pleasant and helpful in general. Sometimes I fail, sometimes I look like an idiot, but at least I don't look like an asshole.
If someone thinks I'm profoundly wrong, I'm open to your opinions.