The Oddest Thing You've Considered About a Character...

[Akiada]

Why do random mooks - not crack commando units or collectors or whatever, but random mercenaries think they can tangle with shepard and win? Shepard, exemplar of humanity, Shepard, first human spectre, Shepard who stopped an entire all-out Geth assault?

It baffles me. If I was a merc and Shepard was coming through I would run. Run far away. No paycheck is worth that.


Hell, on a similar and more broad note, why are so many video game characters so suicidally brave? The progtagonist cuts through waves after waves of men and rarely will anyone - even normal human beings - decide to break and flee. Decide "fuck it, we can't stop them like this! We gotta get out!" They just keep on coming, as if convinced that if it didn't work for the last 200 guys, well, damnit, it's got to work for them.

How do Sci-Fi super-soldiers operate their fancy power suits?

In a variation on this, I often wonder where they stow their weapons and where the hell they pull ammo from. It just sort of seems to appear in the hands of guys like Master Chief despite a complete lack of magazine pouches to store his spare ammo in.

 

[FalloutJack]

If the Super Mutants in the Fallout games have no defined sex (male/female) do they lose their "important bits?" and if they do... How do they pee?

Actually, I know the answer to this one, pretty much from the mouth of Marcus, no less. They stop looking particularly male or female even sounding one way or the other, but all the bits are there. Furthermore, the ones regaining their personalities who are female (See Tabitha, among others) tend to put on affectations to point out their gender more. It's all there, but according to Marcus, it's just gone sterile and limp. To mutants, it's like your appendix. It can function, but it's not necessary. (This is something you learn after taking Marcus to a brothel in Fallout 2, actually.)

So, if silent protagonists never speak, do they get paid? (It is a practice that people in films without speaking roles don't always get paid.)

 

[martin's a madman]

In Dragonquest 6: Realms of Revelation, you always sleep and wake up in the same bed as your party, I bet they have orgies.

 

[Duck Sandwich]

In the final cutscene of Devil May Cry 4

Spoiler

Nero jumps a few hundred feet in the air, reaches out with his extendo-arm that combines the powers of the Hulk and Mr. Fantastic, and grabs the final boss' (a giant living demonic statue) face, and crushes it. In the process of doing this, Nero's arm reaches out a few hundred feet, and his extendo-hand grows to about 5 times the size of the rest of his body.

Why doesn't Nero just Falcon Pimpslap any of the other bosses he fights? He uses the arm, sure, but it's about a bajillion times less powerful, even in the cutscenes where Gameplay and Story Segregation takes effect.

In Resident Evil 5

Spoiler

Why does Wesker put some brainwashing machine thing on Jill's chest (the effects of which are completely reversible by removing it), rather than infecting her with some virus that mutates her into a monster?

The final level of Contra 4 is the ultimate combination of badassery and "WTF"ness.

Spoiler

You shoot an alien monster that's about 10 times bigger than you. When it decides it's tired of being shot, it jumps into a pile of human corpses, mutates into a monster that's about 100 times bigger than you, and then floats up way off the screen until its ass (complete with sprouting tentacles) is about 50 feet above your head. Nothing will happen (the alien won't try to kill you or anything) until you shoot the alien's ass until it explodes and you find a grappling point inside.

You grapple upwards, climb a tunnel that's about a few screens tall, and emerge in what looks like an alien hive/lair, as opposed to the inside of an alien overlord's ass. After fighting your way through a long, alien lair-like level, the final boss fight is against a giant head and a set of snake like arms. In the background, you can see a giant alien mouth, and further in the background, you can see the Earth.

After you kill the boss, a helicopter floats down from the top of the screen. You then grab onto the bottom rails (because you're way too damn badass to actually get INSIDE the chopper), at which point the chopper flies up and off the screen.

So my question is, do you crawl up an alien's ass, fight your way through its insides until you get to the inside of its mouth, kill a giant head with snake-like arms (who just happens to live inside the aforementioned alien's mouth), and then get picked up by a helicopter that flies up to space, blows up the giant alien's head, and enters the newly-made hole in its face? Are Lance and Bill so badass that they can hang onto the bottom rail of a helicopter in space in their bare-chested glory without so much as asphyxiating or burning up when the helicopter re-enters the Earth's atmosphere? Or am I way off?

 

[gmergurl]

Where is the government in the Pokemon Games? Shouldn't they be taking care of the different villainous teams?

Of course not, what else would 10 year olds do while taming pokemon and collecting badges?
And Officer Jenny can only be in so many places at once

 

[CrashBang]

Why doesn't female Shepard ever have her period?

I... how do you know she doesn't?

OT: What was Kratos like as a wee lad?
When you play through a game that has no chapters or breaks or '6 hours later...' moments (sandbox games and RPGs mostly), you rarely see anyone eat, drink or sleep. In fact, during inFamous 2, the only thing Cole ingests is beer

EDIT: Also in inFamous, how does Cole survive if he can't touch water? And, given that fact, how the hell does he drink those beers?!

 

[Domehammer]

Why doesn't Niko not kill Roman?

 

[Ace of Spades]

How does Snake carry around the oil barrel he likes to hide in when he's not using it?

 

[Robot n.o 9124791234]

snippity snip, except for "One word. Magic."

Well, yeah, but you'd think that someone with the endurance and athletic ability to run across Cyrodiil in full steel or ebony armor would have the lung capacity to hold his breath for more than twenty seconds. You wouldn't think he'd need magic.

The armor is also magic and he is magically enhanced. You know, like in sci-fi cyberneticly enhanced or genetically engineered. Magically enhanced. Oh and related point: How do Orcs eat with those tusk things in the way. And Argonians have the fins and therefore should not be able to wear hats.

 

[dancinginfernal]

EDIT: Also in inFamous, how does Cole survive if he can't touch water? And, given that fact, how the hell does he drink those beers?!

I think that's only large bodies of water. He gets through puddles and stuff just fine.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

What's it like to make savage monkey love to Sheeva [Mortal Kombat(2011)]?

 

[ChupathingyX]

OT: What was Kratos like as a wee lad?

Look at his babality in Mortal Kombat 9 and you'll know.

 

[dertyqwerty]

I always wondered in WoW, if you do an escort quest, the npc is always calmly walking. Like... you were just held captive, don't you want to run the hell out of there??

 

[SpaceCop]

None of the Tekken characters ever object to--or even question--fighting tournament matches against wooden dummies, military grade robots, kangaroos, bears, dinosaurs, guys with energy swords, demons, The God Of Fighting...

And on that subject, who the fuck is still hiring Nina Williams as an assassin? In 6 Iron Fist tournaments she hasn't successfully assassinated anyone.

How do AC's assassins keep their robes so darn white? I can't keep my white hoodie clean on a good day, and I'm not diving into hay, riding horses, rolling over medieval streets, or straight-up murdering dudes.

What crazed parallel universe is Hitman set in where Agent 47 somehow isn't immediately identified and killed? 6'3", pale as death, black suit, huge scowl, complete lack of social skills, and a shaved head with a fucking bar code on the back of it. World's most discrete killer indeed.

It's less to do with characters than environment, but on Silent Hill's patented "the lock is broken; I can't open it" schtick. Game developers? Y U NO THINK OF OTHER REASONS DOORS WON'T OPEN.

 

[blaza]

In Elder Scolls games why doesn't your character tell people his/her name?
In Assasins Creed how can guards simply forget what you look like when you just murdered 84 people and simply jumped into a haybale?

 

[Jessta]

Pokemon... they just leave so many questions... I mean the pokemon can be stored in a computer? are they like natural creatures or are they like an evolution from the digimon world and are actually just digital programs manifested... further more if they are natural creatures whats the limit on what a pokeball can catch? can it catch any living creature or what? I wonder how different the pokemon have made their world?

Yu gi oh; I wonder if card games have just become some sort of way of socially settling matters in that world? or conversely are all these guys considered wierdo's?

world of warcraft; why no one ever moves...