I'm not going to contribute anything substantial to the thread but this post really made my day.manic_depressive13 said:
The other side of "Girls only date jerks"
- Thread starter Watcheroftrends
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Not me! >.>Aylaine said:Whoda thought?
It's possible that what makes his friends think he's awesome also makes him unsuitable for most potential partners. Especially if he's only into a certain "type."
I mean, I know it's a stereotype and I'm only doing it for humour, but "farting in morse code" might not get you many partners, no matter how many of your bros think it's awesome.
Looking for someone has always seemed a problem to me, anyway. I mean, two years pining over a girl, now I'm in a relationship with someone who's perfect for me (and I'm not just saying that because she could totally check up on me on here, as I got her hooked on the Escapist). And the thing is, neither of us was looking for a relationship. I think I really like the organic method. but I could be biased. I mean, personal stories are just that.
But it does sort of take the pressure to find someone away.
I'm inclined to disagree with saying being humble in ANY regard is easy.BiscuitTrouser said:
You pointed out that haveing any measure of humility is a turn off.
For most people sexual interaction is something that drives their very lives.
So in conclusion being humble = not easy... for most. I find it quite easy simply because my entire life has been humiliation after humiliation where if I cared even a tiny IOTA about others opinions I'd be a very sad panda.
I mean being humble in terms of your appearance. Its pretty damn easy to go "I cant be bothered to make an effort". Being humble in other ways is good. Being too humble borders on being lazy. Not caring what others think of you is good to a degree, showing you dont bend to others wills is a good thing. Not caring what you think of you is pretty bad. Being so humble to the point of "I dont care if i stink and look like crap because physical appearance doesnt matter to me at all" just seems lazy. And being lazy is very easy. Im saying showing a little humility is good, especially when it comes to others opinions. But having so much you dont even make an effort for yourself or value your own opinion is a turn off. Dating a totally humble Shaolin monk who values nothing about his physical appearance sure would be different but i doubt its a popular desire.corvuscorrax said:
To be honest im in the same boat as you. Ive never cared what other people think for similar reasons. Its been a default setting which is why i see it as easy. I feel lazy when i just stop caring. But i noticed that the majority of people who said "I dont care what anyone thinks" Would probably benefit from caring what other thought. Because they were a bag of dicks. And i thought "Am I like that?". Well no but it couldnt hurt to value others opinions too, perhaps bettering myself by understanding my flaws from the outside would be a good thing too.
I worded that poorly. Ill go re write it.
I'm kind of on the same train as Cheesepower.BiscuitTrouser said:
It seems to be more of a guide on how to get a one night stand or short-term/sex based relationship. I mean, how accurate this this information? Is this information that you formed on your own or is this what you got off your partner? Either sources of information are skewed in it's own manner.
Even though this might be the worst advice to give someone but can't you be just yourself, is being yourself at your very best too much to ask for?
Im bad at conveying this apparently :S Im trying to give advice on how to meet people and get them to talk to you. Youre meant to be yourself in conversation. But like i said being yourself will turn a lot of people off because people have different tastes. Thats just fine and how its meant to be of course! But to maximize the amount of people you talk to and meet is a good way of making sure you dont let the person who wants you for you pass you by without you even talking to them. Im not giving out advice on how to become someones significant other. Fuck knows how thats meant to happen, people are complicated. Im giving general advice on meeting people and making them want to know more about you.mad825 said:
Youre totally meant to be yourself during the entire conversation so you can find out if youre compatible with them. Its just because a lot of people say "No one likes me for me!" when they only meet like 10 new people a year. Well thats no good is it. The more people you meet the more likely you are to meet a compatible person. All my tips are shallow and pedantic changes that honestly cant add depth to your character. But they are meant to make it as easy as possible to show the depth you already have to others. Always be yourself. Id never say change who you are. Just be more eager to share that person rather than hide them. I need to re word this people are getting the wrong idea :S
This is how i did it. Your personality is great how it is. I just started wanting to share it with people. And i did. I met a lot of awesome people. And by doing that i found someone right for me. I follow my own advice and ive never had a one night stand. Ive had two relationships one that was 2 years long and one thats 2 years long next month. Im encouraging you to put yourself out there. And make sure yourself is really yourself!
I actually recently got a girlfirend by- SHOCKER! being myself!
Crazy, I know, but it works. You want to find someone who likes you for you, not for the mask you put on in attempt to get them.
Crazy, I know, but it works. You want to find someone who likes you for you, not for the mask you put on in attempt to get them.
So basically you did a pick up artist experiment. People that aren't born with the natural ability to pick up women changing who they are to be the kind of short term fling women want. It does work but using complimentary insults(or negs) doesn't mean your a dick. You can still hold a door open for a girl and help your friends out when they need it. But you still probably won't get what you want out of a relationship, deep conversations and what not.
A colloquialism with a meaning that still applies. Or doesn't, depending on what side you happen to be on.Abandon4093 said:
"It's raining cats and dogs" is a colloquialism that indicates it is raining heavily. If it's not raining out, it doesn't matter if you say "it's just a colloquialism" as it's still incorrect.
Of course, I'd suggest simply going to your partner with an open need for comfort or security, so while I wouldn't call it a win, that's completely irrelevant. If you have a problem with what I'm saying, please limit your criticism to what I'm actually saying.
Except you have been arguing that unless she was a specific shade of stream of consciousness, she was lying, which makes this relevant. Again, I would appreciate if you limit your argument to things I do, as I have been reading. I understand your stance, but if you're going to dictate terms of honesty, this is relevant to your overall argument, if not your specific stance here.
No, it's not. Not unless prefaced with something like "I can see the future, and...." Again, it seems you are misconstruing some failure to understand basic social interaction with lies.
It's unreasonable, as the only reason you're bringing it up is convenience to assume it.
And poodles and ponies probably don't have anything to do with things here, yet here we are.
I have been. Your claims that I don't are simply based on either glossing over what I do address or pretending something is suddenly irrelevant.
Which doesn't make it a lie. Just because you you informal terms doesn't make your arguments less literal. You've simply shifted the intended target to call me a liar.
I cut things down for length. I have addressed what you were claiming I ignored more than just the upcoming time which you referenced.
Yes we have. I've been bringing up your talk of omission for a while now.
Because you were still making claims relevant to the issue.
Perhaps because you change definitions faster than New England changes weather?
Nor is accidental candor.
Yes, you missed the sarcasm there.
That would only work if you hadn't been adhering to the prior phrasing as literal, and yet, you were arguing that literal version. You cannot claim that you always meant this if your context, that is your argument, said otherwise.
The dodge is that you were trying to shift away from the question I was asking. You know that, especially since I've already been arguing that discrete point about "everything is going to be okay" since you bruoght it up. You cannot legitimately claim that I am unaware of that argument, since I have argued against it time and again.
Which would be relavent were it a lie in the first place.
Flip that around, though, since your argument could be played the same way. You're asserting that they are lies because you want to call them lies. Even against actual context of language and people, you try and label them lies. So you're the one with the "because I want it to be" attitude here, whereas I'm arguing from a point of actually understanding language rather than carte blanching it with "lies lies lies!"
Except that was the relevant point. You were asked a question you didn't answer. He wanted a direct statement.
Which would be great, except you've already admitted others have the same problem. Again, the burden's on you here. If a lot of people aren't getting your point, there's a pretty good bet that you're the problem.
Except you hadn't been using them prior to that. In fact, you were using two definitions simultaneously for a bit there--one for me and one for LT.
A modification of your original argument. But I do like that you're slowly evolving to a more reasonable stance.
Please don't strawman me. And I assume it's a strawman, since you're the one claiming to know exactly what I'm saying and that I just don't understand you. If that's true, then you are deliberately distorting my words and attacking that misrepresentation.
I misread what Titan said. I thought he was complementing women on how they refrain from being illogical.manic_depressive13 said:
I couldn't control my sides from what you wrote.
OT: I've dated women. Therefore, I'm a jerk.
Because fuck logic, this is the Escapist!
I don't know. When I was young, a lot of guys would burp the alphabet. More interestingly, they continued to do that well into adulthood. I just wanted to parallel that with something. >.>Aylaine said:
I imagine it's stressful. I've always objected to the notion that you need to be paired off in society. I mean, it you like it, fair play. I'm just saying the thought of your value or standing in society being related to your relationship status is kind of terrible.
She doesn't post so much, but she reads here frequently. And not the same girl. I'd say unfortunately, but honestly think it it worked out in the end. If she didn't reject me, I might be pining for her still, and I probably would have missed the signs with my current girlfriend, maybe missed out on what I have now. I'm in a good place right now, and she's awesome, so....It's nice that you've found someone right for you! She posts here a lot too? Hmm... I wonder who she is? We haven't talked in awhile, but I remember the girl you are referring to in your post. It's nice to see how far you have come since then!
(Betcha this made her blush) >.>
Pretty much this. I understand it's foolish but it still manages to be a big part of my depression cycle.Zachary Amaranth said:
I feel bad about being alone and lonely when all my friends have wives or girlfriends. Then I feel bad about feeling bad because I know being single doesn't make me a bad person and it's silly to get down on myself like that. Then I feel bad because 100% of the attention I've received from women has been negative, and let's face it, there must be something deeply wrong with anyone who can say that. Then I feel bad for wanting companionship in the first place, because someone as obviously defective as myself should just stay out of the way. There are more steps but you get the idea.
It's a good thing I do well on my own, because my self-confidence -- and correspondingly the likelihood of relationships in my future -- are asymptotes of zero.
Actually, "labour" in this context is the colloquialism. You are using it in an informal way, a definition not standard. And that's the problem. If you use the common method of half-labour," you're using it as a synonym to half-assing or similar. You're using it in the opposite of the intended meaning, which could also be construed as irony/sarcasm. I've found no reference to this as a colloquialism, by the way. Pardon me for not following the meaning when a real one exists.Abandon4093 said:
As for labouring, you really are half-labouring. Sorry.
I'm also sorry that I cannot wrap my life and posting habits around your schedule and needs, but that's not going to change. If you don't like it, that's your prerogative. However, your claims of my response times are unrealistic with very few exceptions. If you cannot remember, you can always go back to reference things. There are even handy icons you can hit in each post. You're welcome.
But at the same time, if you cannot remember your own line of thought, that sort of invalidates many of your claims.
Incidentally, I'm going to cut large portions of this, because it's ridiculously long. If you have a problem with that, I apologise in advance.
When you say "as above," do you mean my very specific explanation of qhat a colloquialism is and how you cannot divorce it from meaning just because that meaning is inconvenient? The only way I could be more clear is if I linked you to a dictionary or encyclopedia page.
Tautologies aside, if that was it, there wouldn't be a problem. But then, you also wouldn't accuse LT's girlfriend of dishonesty if that was what you were saying, or at least, exclusively so. That's a lie by omission, and I'm wondering again why you think it's a good thing.
It has to be more specific than "it's going to be alright." You seem to have missed the hypberole, but whatever.
[citation needed]
That was the point.
Again, you're parsing things for your convenience. Another lie by omission. Quite literally.
When questioned with a followup on this, you responded in a way that did not indicate "relevance" was necessary. Why should I assume you mean something that is the opposite of your response?
Familiarity with both. I can see you don't understand, so I'll move on.
In the context of the discussion over lies or truth, yes. It's almost like there was some contextual carry over.
Most everyone else being who? There's like two people who were responding to you overall, and LT didn't "get it" either.
Except that wasn't what I was referring to. It was used as an example.
Except she didn't do that, which is what makes your statement moot. You could also add in "and proclaiming yourself Queen of all time and space when you are not" is a lie, but it still doesn't mean anything, because your assumptions mean nothing.
And I'm asserting that they're not lies because they're not dishonest. A statement in good faith is very honest.
I ask you again to limit your criticisms to things I actually say.
Except the former isn't true, as I've already told you, and absolute knowledge of the future is not required to honestly make that statement.
I ask you again to limit your criticisms to things I actually say.
LT has disagreed.
Or just thinking "this is everyone's fault but mine." Since this is a routine issue in your posting, I'd say it's far more relevant.
Which isn't relevant here, because you yourself have argued different standards for the degrees. But thanks for proving my point.me to you said:
Honesty is brutal speaks to the nature of honesty. That's untrue.
I ask you again to limit your criticisms to things I actually say.
Are you sure thats whats happening?
Could it be that you are acting more confident and dressing better?
Could it be that quite actually you're attracting a certain kind of girl and only noting that instead of the ones that don't like you?
I'm so sick of this large portion of the male half of the species whining and complaining like they know every goddamn vagina bearing heterosexual female on the fucking planet.
Could it be that you are acting more confident and dressing better?
Could it be that quite actually you're attracting a certain kind of girl and only noting that instead of the ones that don't like you?
I'm so sick of this large portion of the male half of the species whining and complaining like they know every goddamn vagina bearing heterosexual female on the fucking planet.
And this^^^ is pretty truePhasmal said:
Yeah only that didn't seem to have been the point, but rather the OP trying it to see if it works and finding out that it does. I don't know how just that makes him a jerk or a bad guy here ^^darlarosa said:
Eh it's threads like this one that make me glad I'm not very outgoing. I mean outside? There are people out there. Can't be bothered with most of 'em I tell ya.
My problem is never with being single per se, but the way I'm treated. The last two people I broke it off with, I was all "I'm not ready OR looking for another relationship." And I ended up in one anyway. Not necessarily a bad thing, but in between, it became an issue of my paired friends not really including me because...Ponies? I don't know. I've never got the "odd number" problem, or the notion that there's like, "couples" things to do. I'm single, not quarantined, FFS.Johnny Impact said:
That depression cycle sounds harsh, though. Sorry, man.
Unfortunately, he seemed clear on this earlier in the thread. No real reason, just a certainty. Which brings me to another issue....darlarosa said:
Additionally, there's the notion that "every girl I've tried with has rejected me. There's something wrong with WOMEN!"