The perfect murder

[Gralian]

that's creepily similar to dexter yet different enough that i assume you've never seen it?

Nope, i've never seen it because i don't really watch any TV.

 

[jawg_t-j]

hypnosis get them to kill themselves.

 

[AdmiralWolverineLightningbolt]

that's creepily similar to dexter yet different enough that i assume you've never seen it?

Nope, i've never seen it because i don't really watch any TV.

in short, dexter kills people in literally the exact same way, except it's a hypodermic needle instead of a tranq gun, he uses a table (but still covers everything in clingfilm) and discards the bin bags in the ocean
and he does it at night
and doesnt set any fires

wow, you have the same mindset as a fictional tv serial killer

 

[BGH122]

snip

Well, if the murderer in question is so useless on the road as to be pulled over for speeding or be involved in a car crash, i doubt he'd have the patience or intelligence to really pull off the 'perfect murder'.

Alternatively, if there is an accidental car crash, it is then a force beyond your control and there is no way to compensate for that. Accidents happen and you can't have a contingency plan for everything. There may be a chance a friend comes to visit while you are busy dismembering the body, too, meaning you would have to deal with him or her as well.

Valid point! Fair enough, you're the best murderer so far. Congratulations for that dubious honour!

 

[Macgyvercas]

Take a tranquiliser gun, ring the doorbell, assertively step forward and discreetly fire the sedative at them and enter the house (making sure of course that the coast is relatively clear), whereby you proceed to lay many layers of thick plastic cling flim or other substance to stop blood from touching any aspect of the house beneath the body. You lay the body on the film or other covering and either slice the neck or fire a silenced bullet into their forehead to kill them outright, making sure not to spill a single drop of blood anywhere. Afterwards, you remove a hacksaw and proceed to very delicately dismember the body by removing the limbs, still trying to contain the blood on the coverings and using copious amounts of rags to soak up the leakage. You then place the body parts in a black opaque bin-bag, along with the rags and cling film used to soak up all the blood. You then go upstairs to change (assuming the victim is either male or has a husband) into casual clothing to make it look like you are simply taking out the trash. You wrap the bin bag with body parts in several other bin bags to stop any drop of blood leaking out. If you have spilled any blood, you may need to set fire to the house to prevent forensics from discovering any evidence, which could be done fairly easily with a lighter and gas fluid, or even deoderant can aimed at the carpet. A more intelligent way to do this would be to pour fuel over the floor and leave the window open slightly, so at a later date you arrive and discreetly throw a match in the window on the fuel you poured on the floor recently, and do a runner as the fire begins to pick up. You then carry the bin bag of body parts outside in your changed clothes to make it look like you are a family member or friend simply taking out the trash and put it in the boot of your car. You then drive the car to either a cliff in which you drive it off and dive out, causing the car with the bodies to sink to the bottom of the ocean, or to a a junkyard, whereby you have the car crushed. The crushed car could either be left at the junkyard itself or taken to be disposed of some other way. One other solution would be to load the crushed car into a large lorry and have it placed on a cargo ship, whereby the cargo crate is sent overboard into the middle of the ocean halfway along its journey.

...What? Oh, we weren't being serious? Neither was i!
[sup]*Nervous laughter*[/sup]

that's creepily similar to dexter yet different enough that i assume you've never seen it?

That's what I was thinking too!

Although I'm certain Dexter slipped up at least once. Might have been in Season 1.

He's just very good at throwing people off his trail.

hypnosis get them to kill themselves.

Can't. Survival instinct is too strong.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Just burn down their house. It's not hard. You can even make it look like an accident easily enough. Have you even seem Hot Fuzz?

 

[Keava]

The only perfect murder is a murder without a motive, otherwise there will always be some trail leading to you.

 

[tomtom94]

Step one: Kill Hubilub
Step two: Do away with his fans (should be easy)
Step three: ??
Step four: Profit
Step five: Everyone loves Zeeky again!

This plan has only one slightly obvious flaw which I think you should have foreseen.

A murder in which all the evidence points to wrong conclusion.

I can't remember who said it, but "The perfect crime is not the crime that is never solved; but the crime which is solved with the wrong outcome".
I reckon I first heard it in Phoenix Wright.

OT: Ironic murders are always the best.
(To give a fictional example, kill a French swot with an Eiffel Tower model, and a Geography swot with a globe, and if ANYONE gets that reference I'll be very impressed)

 

[jawg_t-j]

i knew csi was lieing to me

 

[KefkaCultist]

The perfect murder is one that doesn't happen.

 

[Rubixnoob]

To be honest I think the way to get away with it isn't so much about leaving a clean crime scene, it about intercepting and getting evidence throw out. Forensic science is such a bureaucracy, if anything interrupts the chain of evidence or even someone enters the crime scene at the wrong time all evidence can just be disregarded from the case. It would be easier to just throw a spanner in the works after the fact, rather then try to cover yourself completely.

 

[Gentle Dementia]

Either fake a suicide (get gloves so no fingerprints, drug them then manipulate their fingers so they slit their own wrists)

Or Fake a mugging (Jump out of an alley, cover their mouth and stab them until they die, take the wallet and then the police are looking for just one more mugger, rather than a first degree murderer.)

 

[mParadox]

Ever watched Dexter?No? shame on you. You discuss murders without even watching the best serial killer in disguise.

The perfect murder happens in fiction often. Real-life not so much.
Agatha Christies' "And then there were none" is a shining example of a perfect murder. Can't think up of anythin real though.

 

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

The perfect murder (which is a logical fallacy but what the hell ;P) would be targetting someone of whom you have no connection to at all.

Hitchcock's 'Rope' discusses the merits of the perfect murder for the sake of committing a perfect murder .... as well utilising never before seen style of artistic film direction such as long takes and single perspective film techniques that make you feel like a fly on the wall, hanging about for 2 hours observing as all the events take place.

 

[Proctorninja]

take a person out to international waters then kill and dump overboard, no country has jurisdiction out there also fill out a report as the person missing there for making u seem less suspicious

 

[The_ModeRazor]

It would involve comitting a murder so ridiculously unbelievable, that they couldn't figure it out how in fuck's name could anyone do it. Or if it was intentional at all. Or whodunnit.

 

[WanderingBiscuits]

The movie strangers on a train contains the perfect murder. Not executed perfectly, but if it was it would be perfect.

 

[havass]

Go to the roof with the victim, with piano string, bungee cord and super glue.
Glue the victim's hands to his head, tie the bungee cord around his feet, and lay the piano string in front of his neck, behind his hands. Secure the piano string and bungee cord to the roof, then push the sucker down.
What you'll get is the victim beheaded, with his head in his hands, swinging from the rooftop. With any luck, you'll kill more people via heart attacks.

 

[joshuaayt]

Hire a hitman, then hire a hitman to kill the hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then a hitman to kill that hitman, then pay that hitman.
The trail will be so ridiculously convoluted that the police will have no fucking idea of what to do, probably only making it so far before just arresting whoever they do have and forgetting it.