The Ratings War III: Republic of Heaven (Second Round Finals)

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mshcherbatskaya

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Just proof that I am still working on it

Ya di'n't really think it was gonna be that easy, did ya?

I ain't bound t'that body fallen t'the ground. I never make th' mistake a'windin' myself 'round some poor soul. Y'take possession of a life, it take possession a'you. Th' form I take a matter a'convenience t'others, that all, and she can't reach inta that form an' pull me out any more than y'can reach inta the hole a'the guitar an' pull th'music out. I leave th'body t'her an' take a residence elsewhere.

But I think I got some 'splainin' t'do, a liddle hist'ry, a liddle fam'ly tree.

In th' beginnin'--that how y'think th' story start, yeah? Then it go on that God create th' Heavens and th'Earth, or that th' Big Bang create the universe, but listen an' I tell you--

In th' Beginning, an' in th' Now, an' in th' Future, there th' Principles, that which create, generate, produce, an' that which destroy, decay, consume, What Ev'rything Come From and Where Ev'rything Go, th' Light an' th' Darkness, The Womb an' Th' Grave. Between them the cycle a' comin' an' goin' turn an' turn, an from that cycle come all that is. But in all that comin' an goin', things change. Th' creation ornament itself, an' it fall back t'nothing inna multitude a'ways. Then somethin' happen--th'created 'come aware that it gonna end, an' th' created havin' in it the seed a'creation, this unnerstandin' take a form, it manifest itself, an' this Manifestation take th'name a'Death. The created come in conflict, put Death on one'nother an' do it knowin', come t'gether in a mass a'death-givin, come t'gether in praise of it, come t'gether in condemnation, and this Manifestation called War. They ornament sound, give it power t'reach in an' possess th' spirit an' Music come t' Manifestation. Other Manifestation come too, an' creation try t'unnerstand them in their own way, creation break'em inta pieces small enough to fit in th'mind, give th' pieces names and those, they the gods.

So y'see, I got no wish nor call t'be a god. I already got a place in th'scheme a'things, an a throne in heaven a tight, hard seat for th'likes a'me. An' anyways, I already gotta place in ev'ry heaven ever was, ever will be. All that harp-playin' gotta come from somethin', right?

Th' gods come an' go, Manifestations last as long as they got somethin' t' manifest, but th' Principles, they go on forever. But they all tied t'creation. Creation reach t'the gods, th' Manifestations, th'Principles, all th'power a'which they aware. Y'know that. But th'powers, they reach back, they get pulled inta th'world a'creation. An' sometime they get trapped. War come down inta th' world, take a form t' savor th' Battle, but it get trapped in the form it take. In tryin' t'get free, it leap inta a life an' take it, but th' life take it back, an' now neither get free a't'other. Th' Principle a'Darkness get drawn down inta th' world a creation, why I dunno, it get lost maybe, it get pulled, it think that, surrounded by th'livin', that it in th'midst a'plenty, but in truth it hunger beyond bearin'.

This enslavement, it a terrible wound in th' world, a wound I come t'mend, a chain I come t'break. A tough task it woulda been, even if I come across 'em each on their own, but now one trapped within t'other, so I gotta find three paths t'freedom.

But how'my gonna do that when I fled my form? No worries there. I jus' take up residence inna diff'rent form. Where I go, though? Think about it, where th'logical place for Music t'manifest itsef?
 

mshcherbatskaya

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I told Fire Daemon I would have it finished this weekend. That was apparently a lie. I've blown the time frame beyond all reasonable expectation, so please do not feel like you should wait for me. I intended to be through with this by now but the story just keeps getting longer on me. If you want to go forward with the judging, go ahead with what I have written so far. I will finish the story regardless, because if I don't, Ultrajoe will fill all my shoes with Vegemite.
-----------------------------------------------------

She vented her fury on the empty body, kicking the ribs until Axle winced at the wet cracking of the ribs and the peculiar gravelly crunch of the face as she stomped on the head. He glanced apprehensively at the flames and back at her. The fire, which had been preoccupied with the houses a block down, had jumped the street. Sparks on the roofs were beginning to kindle and catch. They should get out of here. But where was the portal? The DJ was dead. Wasn't he?

"What do we do now?" If there was no portal, then they hadn't won, but how were they supposed to fight an opponent they had already killed?

"We figure on where he went and then we kill him."

"He isn't dead?"

"Oh no," she said, giving the body another kick, "he's not dead, he's just run off, the sneaky bastard."

The radio in his pocket quit its schizoid channel-flipping and rang out with notes that even Axle could not fail to recognize.

Oh say can you see
by the dawn's early light


No voice, no aspiring diva, no patriotic baritone, just a guitar, electric, saw-edged notes cutting through the background roar of the burning houses.

what so proudly we hailed
at the twilight's last gleaming


Her head whipped around.

"Oh ho, aren't you a clever one?" she hissed.

whose broad stripes and bright stars

Axle thought she meant him and drew his sword in defense as she flew at him. Not yet, not so soon, she still needed him. Didn't she?

through the perilous fight

"Put that down, you idiot!"

He obeyed reflexively, but flinched as she lunged at him, digging into his pockets for the radio

o'er the ramparts we watched
were so gallantly streaming


"Where is it? Were is that damn thing? Give it too me!" He wanted to stop her--it was his, whoever it was had given it to him--but didn't dare.

And the rockets red glare

She pulled it out with a ha! of triumph and bit into it, engulfing it in the eager stream of darkness flowing from her mouth. As though in response, the guitar screamed, searing shrieks, blasts of distortion, tortured groans. Surely this was the sound of The DJ fighting for his life from within the device in which he had trapped himself.

the bombs bursting in air

A few defiant notes rang out before the guitar collapsed back into desperate, thrashing violence. Shadow poured from her mouth like the smoke from the upper-story windows of the houses whose roofs had finally succumbed, but growled with frustration.

gave proof through the night

"Dammit!!" She threw the radio to the ground.

that our flag was still there

"You can't get him?" he asked.

"No, I--oh!" She doubled over and would have fallen if he had not caught her.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she groaned. "Is this pain? This body, something is wrong with it, something is wrong with it here." She put her hand on her stomach and he resisted the urge to suggest that she had eaten something that didn't agree with her.

Oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
o'er the land of the free


It had never occured to Axle that she, or the human body she possessed, might become sick. He didn't know what to do

and the home[/]

except hold her

of the

as she choked and

brave

vomited all over him.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I wish I could say I had confidence that I was gonna get'im outta there, outta th'nightmare nothin' a'her belly, but I di'n't. Th'confusion of it, an' him so boun' by th'helplessness a'the human mind he tangle up in, I think maybe he can't hear me, or he hear but he can't take no meanin' from it. It a risk on my part, t'get m'self backed inta sucha tiny thing, t'crawl inta th'pocket a'my opponent like that. But I risk it on two things. I bettin' that her digestion, so t'speak, gonna separate their natures. It in th'nature a'human beings to dissolve, body an' soul, inta th'Darkness. But a Manifestation don't fall inta shadow long as it got somethin' t'Manifest, an' if ev'rybody stop fightin' recently, I'm musta missed it. So th'boy melt outta him an'leave him nothin' but what he is. An' War, as y'might espect, is a fighter.

But I gotta remind'im. No matter what some say, War don'come without a reason, a cause. War don' invite himself. War, he come when he called. So I gotta call him. I gotta remind him a'what he is, so I play him a song that come from war an' go t'war, I play him a song a'battle, but I play it slant. I play him a song remind him a'all he is, old glory an' new horror, land a'th'free an' home a'th'slave, breakin' chains an' breakin' treaties, courage an' terror. I play him a'anthem broke with th'screams a'fallin' bombs an' dying men an' women an' chil'ren, defendin' successful th'home built on land defended unsuccessful an' taken.

He hear me. We know each other always. Always, we go inta battle t'gether, for good or ill, neither of us takin' sides, only actin'accordin' to our natures, which is t'say, accordin' t'your natures, because what else are we but what you make us? He hear me, he awake t'the conflict I playin' for him. He reminded that he th'struggling a'th'world, an' he start strugglin'. He start lookin' f'conflict, an' he find it. He find th'conflict between th'li'l life a'th'body an' th'great destruction it been asked t'contain. Th'body do what it always try t'do when it find it been invaded - it try to expel what invadin' it. It can't expel th'Darkness, a'course, but while th' Darkness bound to th'body, it bound to th'rules a'th'body. The stomach, it a wise organ, it know what it should be holdin' an' what it shouldn't, an' if there somethin' that can make jus' about any human bein' sick to it stomach, it War.
 

mshcherbatskaya

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Feb 1, 2008
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mshcherbatskaya said:
I told Fire Daemon I would have it finished this weekend. That was apparently a lie. I've blown the time frame beyond all reasonable expectation, so please do not feel like you should wait for me. I intended to be through with this by now but the story just keeps getting longer on me. If you want to go forward with the judging, go ahead with what I have written so far. I will finish the story regardless, because if I don't, Ultrajoe will fill all my shoes with Vegemite.
-----------------------------------------------------

She vented her fury on the empty body, kicking the ribs until Axle winced at the wet cracking of the ribs and the peculiar gravelly crunch of the face as she stomped on the head. He glanced apprehensively at the flames and back at her. The fire, which had been preoccupied with the houses a block down, had jumped the street. Sparks on the roofs were beginning to kindle and catch. They should get out of here. But where was the portal? The DJ was dead. Wasn't he?

"What do we do now?" If there was no portal, then they hadn't won, but how were they supposed to fight an opponent they had already killed?

"We figure on where he went and then we kill him."

"He isn't dead?"

"Oh no," she said, giving the body another kick, "he's not dead, he's just run off, the sneaky bastard."

The radio in his pocket quit its schizoid channel-flipping and rang out with notes that even Axle could not fail to recognize.

Oh say can you see
by the dawn's early light


No voice, no aspiring diva, no patriotic baritone, just a guitar, electric, saw-edged notes cutting through the background roar of the burning houses.

what so proudly we hailed
at the twilight's last gleaming


Her head whipped around.

"Oh ho, aren't you a clever one?" she hissed.

whose broad stripes and bright stars

Axle thought she meant him and drew his sword in defense as she flew at him. Not yet, not so soon, she still needed him. Didn't she?

through the perilous fight

"Put that down, you idiot!"

He obeyed reflexively, but flinched as she lunged at him, digging into his pockets for the radio

o'er the ramparts we watched
were so gallantly streaming


"Where is it? Were is that damn thing? Give it too me!" He wanted to stop her--it was his, whoever it was had given it to him--but didn't dare.

And the rockets red glare

She pulled it out with a ha! of triumph and bit into it, engulfing it in the eager stream of darkness flowing from her mouth. As though in response, the guitar screamed, searing shrieks, blasts of distortion, tortured groans. Surely this was the sound of The DJ fighting for his life from within the device in which he had trapped himself.

the bombs bursting in air

A few defiant notes rang out before the guitar collapsed back into desperate, thrashing violence. Shadow poured from her mouth like the smoke from the upper-story windows of the houses whose roofs had finally succumbed, but growled with frustration.

gave proof through the night

"Dammit!!" She threw the radio to the ground.

that our flag was still there

"You can't get him?" he asked.

"No, I--oh!" She doubled over and would have fallen if he had not caught her.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she groaned. "Is this pain? This body, something is wrong with it, something is wrong with it here." She put her hand on her stomach and he resisted the urge to suggest that she had eaten something that didn't agree with her.

Oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
o'er the land of the free


It had never occured to Axle that she, or the human body she possessed, might become sick. He didn't know what to do

and the home

except hold her

of the

as she choked and

brave

vomited all over him.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I wish I could say I had confidence that I was gonna get'im outta there, outta th'nightmare nothin' a'her belly, but I di'n't. Th'confusion of it, an' him so boun' by th'helplessness a'the human mind he tangle up in, I think maybe he can't hear me, or he hear but he can't take no meanin' from it. It a risk on my part, t'get m'self backed inta sucha tiny thing, t'crawl inta th'pocket a'my opponent like that. But I risk it on two things. I bettin' that her digestion, so t'speak, gonna separate their natures. It in th'nature a'human beings to dissolve, body an' soul, inta th'Darkness. But a Manifestation don't fall inta shadow long as it got somethin' t'Manifest, an' if ev'rybody stop fightin' recently, I'm musta missed it. So th'boy melt outta him an'leave him nothin' but what he is. An' War, as y'might espect, is a fighter.

But I gotta remind'im. No matter what some say, War don'come without a reason, a cause. War don' invite himself. War, he come when he called. So I gotta call him. I gotta remind him a'what he is, so I play him a song that come from war an' go t'war, I play him a song a'battle, but I play it slant. I play him a song remind him a'all he is, old glory an' new horror, land a'th'free an' home a'th'slave, breakin' chains an' breakin' treaties, courage an' terror. I play him a'anthem broke with th'screams a'fallin' bombs an' dying men an' women an' chil'ren, defendin' successful th'home built on land defended unsuccessful an' taken.

He hear me. We know each other always. Always, we go inta battle t'gether, for good or ill, neither of us takin' sides, only actin'accordin' to our natures, which is t'say, accordin' t'your natures, because what else are we but what you make us? He hear me, he awake t'the conflict I playin' for him. He reminded that he th'struggling a'th'world, an' he start strugglin'. He start lookin' f'conflict, an' he find it. He find th'conflict between th'li'l life a'th'body an' th'great destruction it been asked t'contain. Th'body do what it always try t'do when it find it been invaded - it try to expel what invadin' it. It can't expel th'Darkness, a'course, but while th' Darkness bound to th'body, it bound to th'rules a'th'body. The stomach, it a wise organ, it know what it should be holdin' an' what it shouldn't, an' if there somethin' that can make jus' about any human bein' sick to it stomach, it War.
 

Lord Krunk

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Well, I've made it back after my 2-week hiatus. It ticks me off that Msh hasn't finished yet, amplified even more by the fact that it's so well written. Msh, you've done an excellent job there; I eagerly wait for the finale.
 

Ultrajoe

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Apr 24, 2008
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Lord Krunk said:
Well, I've made it back after my 2-week hiatus. It ticks me off that Msh hasn't finished yet, amplified even more by the fact that it's so well written. Msh, you've done an excellent job there; I eagerly wait for the finale.
I get the feeling she may be tied up in other matters.
 

Khedive Rex

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Ultrajoe said:
Lord Krunk said:
Well, I've made it back after my 2-week hiatus. It ticks me off that Msh hasn't finished yet, amplified even more by the fact that it's so well written. Msh, you've done an excellent job there; I eagerly wait for the finale.
I get the feeling she may be tied up in other matters.
Honestly, I consider delays of this length to just be a part of the RW game at this point. I'm hardly surprised by them. It's happened three of four times this tournament. It happened two or three times last tournament. It'll happen again in the tournament after this.

Which by the way I now officially have a character for so lets move it people! GoGoGo!
 

Ultrajoe

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Khedive Rex said:
Which by the way I now officially have a character for so lets move it people! GoGoGo!
I'm with you, I'm trying to prevent Eviljoe levels of intro-story. To abate the need, I am preparing three different characters. I'll get a popular vote on who to use when it's time.
 

Khedive Rex

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Ultrajoe said:
Khedive Rex said:
Which by the way I now officially have a character for so lets move it people! GoGoGo!
I'm with you, I'm trying to prevent Eviljoe levels of intro-story. To abate the need, I am preparing three different characters. I'll get a popular vote on who to use when it's time.
Ah now you see, you should try my method. Be lazy. I guarantee, sustained laziness is the most effective way to prevent Eviljoe levels of intro story. In fact, it'll prevent Eviljoe levels of almost anything. Trust me, I've been doing it for years.
 

Ultrajoe

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Khedive Rex said:
Ah now you see, you should try my method. Be lazy. I guarantee, sustained laziness is the most effective way to prevent Eviljoe levels of intro story. In fact, it'll prevent Eviljoe levels of almost anything. Trust me, I've been doing it for years.
I start to get bored and I'll dream up a poem. Five hours later, I haven't slept all night and I'm staring down the barrel of eight pages of concept drabble.

So far your choices are between Pestilence, Jack the Ripper on crack and something best described as the love child of Boba Fett and Predator.
 

Khedive Rex

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Ultrajoe said:
Khedive Rex said:
Ah now you see, you should try my method. Be lazy. I guarantee, sustained laziness is the most effective way to prevent Eviljoe levels of intro story. In fact, it'll prevent Eviljoe levels of almost anything. Trust me, I've been doing it for years.
I start to get bored and I'll dream up a poem. Five hours later, I haven't slept all night and I'm staring down the barrel of eight pages of concept drabble.

So far your choices are between Pestilence, Jack the Ripper on crack and something best described as the love child of Boba Fett and Predator.
Boba-Predator, definitely. Your just walking along in a forest and then BOOM, A giant slug turns off it's invisibility sheild and falls onto you from a low lying tree branch. As your dying of asphixiation he lights up a long cigarette and summons women clad in bikinis to dance in front of him. A disco ball decends from no where and then, you die.

Admittedly, that's my sleep deprived vision of the character, but you've got to admit he's got style.

As for me, I can say with complete confidence everyone knows who my character is. I'll be playing a Final Fantasy White Mage with all the powers and abilities associated therewith. There will of course be three or four very important twists but I'll save those for the tournament in question.
 

Ultrajoe

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Apr 24, 2008
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Khedive Rex said:
Boba-Predator, definitely. Your just walking along in a forest and then BOOM, A giant slug turns off it's invisibility sheild and falls onto you from a low lying tree branch. As your dying of asphixiation he lights up a long cigarette and summons women clad in bikinis to dance in front of him. A disco ball decends from no where and then, you die.


There are a few subtle differences.
 

Khedive Rex

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Ultrajoe said:
Khedive Rex said:
Boba-Predator, definitely. Your just walking along in a forest and then BOOM, A giant slug turns off it's invisibility sheild and falls onto you from a low lying tree branch. As your dying of asphixiation he lights up a long cigarette and summons women clad in bikinis to dance in front of him. A disco ball decends from no where and then, you die.


There are a few subtle differences.
I don't know, I find Jabba-Predator somewhat endearing. Sure, he's slimy obesse and probably slowly wasting away from lung cancer, but he can still fall from a tree and kill you with his bare hands. And when he's done, the golden bikini girls come to nail you to a wall a feed Jabba-predator bacon. Its a nice kind of story.
 

Khedive Rex

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Lord Krunk said:
Almost two weeks, and no posts. What's going on?
You and I share a very similar frsutration. I know I'm not in this RW per se, but I still read it. The lack of things to read is beggining to bother me.

I think we're all still waiting for Msh and Dastardos.

... While I do hate to be the heartless one of the group, anyone want to just call them late and move to the next fights? They are lovely writers and I want to see their stuff, but this tournament has slowed down rather a lot since we settled in to wait.
 

The Sorrow

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Yeah, I was trying to be lenient for the pair, but this is just too fuckin' long.
I declare this round over. Judges, go for it.
 

Dastardos

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The Sorrow said:
Yeah, I was trying to be lenient for the pair, but this is just too fuckin' long.
I declare this round over. Judges, go for it.
Dastardos said:
I'm sorry I have to forfeit.
Sorry if I wasn't clear enough, haha.
 

The Sorrow

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Zemalac, Lord Krunk,and Logician each advance.
As the only loser not to forfeit, Rogueshadows advances as well.
Matchups tomorrow.
 

Ultrajoe

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Apr 24, 2008
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Lord Krunk said:
Ultrajoe said:
Hurry it up, I have a character on the factory floor going cold! :p
The Sorrow said:
Matchups tomorrow.
@both: I can't wait until they're unveiled.
It's odd to have a character for whom the song I use to focus while writing isn't either ironic to the personality or just plain metal.