The Rules of All Video Games

[Jesterz]

There is a list of rules that all games abide by; it just hasn't been written yet.

1. If there is a save point, Shit is about to go down.
2. You WILL (most likely) have sex with your Female best friend at some point in time.
3. Little girls are inexplicably the scariest things ever.
4. So long as your just around the corner, enemies are willing to wait whilst you devise a battle plan.

Post your own rules or whatever cliches you notice.

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

5. You can jump higher than you should.

see: Mario, Banjo, etc.

 

[Julianking93]

Discussion? No discussion then?

 

[ma55ter_fett]

#) Headshots are leathal.

 

[Cherry Cola]

1. Nope.
2. Nope.
3. Only in horror games. And even then it isn't always the case (SH2 for example)
4. If you mean that you can just run around a corner while fighting and the enemies won't follow, that is wrong too. Several games have smarter A.I. than that.

 

[Robert632]

#7. You can shoot accurately while running .

 

[Meinos Kaen]

If you meet a sibling of a main character who's cooler/cuter/stronger than his/her relative, he's going to die.

 

[MGlBlaze]

8) If you're not close enough for the enemy you're aiming at to take up a large portion of the screen, that shotgun won't do a thing.

Thankfully, this rule is averted in some games like S.T.A.L.K.E.R. (not the sawed-off shotgun) and Crysis with the 'narrow spread' setting. In both cases the spread for the buckshot is about what it is in real life and is capable of killing a normal person in one hit at 50 meters or more. Extra points to S.T.A.L.K.E.R. for letting you use slugs instead as a different ammo type and eliminating spread altogether, too.

 

[TheFacelessOne]

#9: You can take two rockets to the face but can't survive falling into water.

 

[Killerbunny001]

10. Red barrels explode if you shot them. Always.

 

[Wilbot666]

#: Learning a new spell that seems kick-arse means it will probably only be useful on two types of enemy out of fifty.
(Unless it's Bioware then who knows!)

 

[dolfan1304]

#11) It is always stars

 

[Manhattan2112]

12) Just because you think your weapon is cool, doesn't mean there won't be a better version of it waiting around the corner.

And in the case of games like Resident Evil 4, that means that you put all your time and money into NOTHING, and all of your efforts just illustrate more colorfully how much of an idiot you are.

 

[DarkxReaper56]

Reload every gun at every down time. It doesn't matter if you only fired one round out of that clip. Just do it.

 

[Alias42]

If there is a lifebar, being so close to death you have to consider writing a will doesn't affect your physical performance in the slightest.

People don't mind you breaking their stuff (Zelda, here's looking at you).

Every weapon you encounter, even if you never saw one, can be used perfectly upon picking it up.

Modern = Grey and Brown (has been called often, but very true).

Anatomy and Physics are the courses the pussies took in College, while all the game designers were out having sex.

No-one in your team is compelled to push forward unless you go first. Reminiscent of "Operation: Follow the Blackies" for the South Park Movie. Every enemy also shoots ONLY YOU.

All enemies in the same class are identical twins. No wonder they are so cross: you've just killed half their family.

If the game is immersive, you have no freedom. If the game offers you a lot of freedom, the story sucks. If the story is good, you become immersed, which fucks up the freedom.

 

[Jesterz]

If you are able to deviate from a direct line to the next objection, you're going to find goodies. (Pretty much every rpg in existence)

 

[Premonition]

Just because the rules of the game are this and that, doesn't mean that the developers will completely ignore them to make a certain setpiece exiting.

Expect that when fighting the end boss, you will have to get used to a whole new gameplay than you have played for the entire game

 

[orangeapples]

food found in walls, rocks, or on the ground or from the corpse of your enemy will always make you feel better.