The sad little man in the corner needs some advice.

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The Austin

New member
Jul 20, 2009
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AjimboB said:
The Austin said:
If you don't get over the depression, than tell her that you think being with her can make you happy.
That is HORRIBLE advice, you know why? Because it makes it sound like your happiness completely depends on her. In this case, at best she'll feel too guilty to reject you, and you'll have a short lived, shallow relationship, and at worst, she'll reject you outright because she'll be scared off by the thought of baring the responsibility of being the only happiness in your life. Either way, using this tactic will end horribly, and she'll end up hating you for it.
Jesus fucking Christ, I included a footnote at the end of my post that said "I'M NOT GOOD WITH RELATIONSHIPS".

You don't have to nark me out, OK?
 

zombiesinc

One day, we'll wake the zombies
Mar 29, 2010
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Erm, it sounds like you need to work through your depression, and find happiness within yourself (sounds stupidly cliche) before getting into a relationship. If you do get into a relationship when your mind is unstable, and you fall for this girl, but things don't go well, you'll end up worse off than when you started. At best, you'll get into this relationship, and depend on her making you happy to feel good about your life. If that goes on long enough, you'll convince yourself that you're 'all good', only to find out that you're nowhere near okay, or stable. The point in which you realize this, things will likely be ending, or going poorly, and you'll be very likely to break.

Also, suicide isn't funny.
 

ShadowsofHope

Outsider
Nov 1, 2009
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Get help first, mate. You'll be going down a very rough road if you try to get into a relationship while your still dealing with these issues. I've been there before, trust me. Your only going to hurt both of you if you attempt this in your current state.

I won't go any further than that, as most of the posters above me have sufficiently enough already.
 

geldonyetich

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Aug 2, 2006
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For something as vital as, "suicidally depressed individual wondering if he should pursue a relationship," I advise asking a professional psychologist, not random_Internet_forum_goer_1203.
 

s0denone

Elite Member
Apr 25, 2008
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AjimboB said:
It's like writing a self help book, and then on the last page pointing out that you're a 40 year old man who still lives with his mother.
That line made my laugh out loud. Good stuff, man.

OT: It's already been said. Get your shit together before you start dating, else you and your potential significant other will most likely end somewhere worse than where you started.

Seek professional help. Getting through it may be hard, and may be expensive, but it'll save your life. Literally.

EDIT: Don't write "lol" after admitting you have suicidal tendencies... That means that either you're the most sick and deranged kind of troll, or simply in such a fucked up spot(no self-worth) that you think laughing at yourself like that is okay. Stop doing that.
 

s0denone

Elite Member
Apr 25, 2008
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D Bones said:
Ummm...man the fuck up and either decide to give it a shot, knowing the worst could happen, but know that you'll be able to deal with it. Or don't.

If you give it a shot, remember this: You can always get back to feeling the way you feel now. You know the saying, "there are plenty of fish in the sea." It's sooooooo TRUE!!!! If it doesn't work out, there are plenty of other girls out there just like her.

Don't lose yourself for someone else. Stay happy, do what you want to do, but if you want to incorporate this girl, make sure she knows you're going to do things to maintain your own happiness. I'm guessing you're between 15-20, so trust me, your goals and happiness are much more important than a relationship. I've been there, and looking back, I wish I was more selfish in my relationships. It would have been better for both of us if I had been more honest. Good luck.
Admit it, mate, you didn't even fucking read his topic :D This isn't "Should I ask this girl out or no?" it's "Should I ask this girl out or no? And also I have suicidal tendencies and suffer from depression"

I'm not sure "Man the fuck up" is what he needs :D
 

Omikron009

New member
May 22, 2009
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If your suicidal tendencies are bad enough for local law enforcement to know about I would think twice before getting in to any relationship.
 

s0denone

Elite Member
Apr 25, 2008
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D Bones said:
s0denone said:
D Bones said:
Ummm...man the fuck up and either decide to give it a shot, knowing the worst could happen, but know that you'll be able to deal with it. Or don't.

If you give it a shot, remember this: You can always get back to feeling the way you feel now. You know the saying, "there are plenty of fish in the sea." It's sooooooo TRUE!!!! If it doesn't work out, there are plenty of other girls out there just like her.

Don't lose yourself for someone else. Stay happy, do what you want to do, but if you want to incorporate this girl, make sure she knows you're going to do things to maintain your own happiness. I'm guessing you're between 15-20, so trust me, your goals and happiness are much more important than a relationship. I've been there, and looking back, I wish I was more selfish in my relationships. It would have been better for both of us if I had been more honest. Good luck.
Admit it, mate, you didn't even fucking read his topic :D This isn't "Should I ask this girl out or no?" it's "Should I ask this girl out or no? And also I have suicidal tendencies and suffer from depression"

I'm not sure "Man the fuck up" is what he needs :D
Nah, I read it. I just think that when it comes to girls, true love is bullshit. I've met hundreds of girls that I could fall in love with in my life. You have to understand that and realize that life is never bad enough to where you should even consider suicide. Depression is hard, but life is never bad enough for suicide. Especially not over a relationship. Man up, tough it out. You'll bounce back, no matter what.
I'm sorry to be the one to point this out, given that I really like you(especially compared to some other users)... But you're talking out of your ass.

People who are suicidal aren't rational. In their minds the world is better off without them. We are waaaaaaay beyond the "life is never bad enough" - we are into the "life is better for others if I go away".

We are at a point where psychologist cannot even truly rationalise what's going on in the head of someone when they commit suicide. It isn't something to just take lightly, and say "man up, tough it out"

That is some ignorant shit right there, man.
 

mik hardcore

New member
Feb 11, 2010
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I'm not telling you what to do, but I have gone out with someone who I was scared for a long time would hurt themself and who went on about killing themself. I became afraid to leave because I didn't know what the reaction would be. I became torn up and when we finally did break up, the whole thing left me wanting nothing to do with her. All I'm saying is if you think it's going to affect her negatively or drive her further away from you, is that what you want? Trying to pull someone out of a bad situation can often just pull you down, especially if that person isn't going to try to help themselves. Like I say, I don't know you or your situation well enough to judge. Just remember, if you truly care about someone then their feelings should come before your own.
 

Resurrectionist

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Feb 17, 2010
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AWDMANOUT said:
she "knows how I can be".
That's the line used when you're trying to get back together after a break up.

Depression in your medical history?
Clinical symptoms involving Law Enforcement?
You realize that's on your permanent records? (plural)
That Card can trump a deck of good intentions.

Relationships can rip stalwart hearts to shreds and
unbalance even stable psychological profiles.

Your resumé precludes dating for now.
 

BonsaiK

Music Industry Corporate Whore
Nov 14, 2007
5,635
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AWDMANOUT said:
Yeah. I'm referring to myself. Anyways. The last few threads I've made have all been about this same girl that I'm falling for haha... And we're actually at a point where we've both admitted we like each other. But... she's wary of being in a relationship, because she "knows how I can be". I can occasionally become extremely depressed and even have suicidal tendencies... Trust me, my local law enforcement knows this lol... And she "doesn't want to hurt me if something bad between us happens".

Fellow Escapists, I like this girl a whole lot and have for a long time. Should I say something to convince her otherwise? What should I say? I have no other outlet for advice, so any input would be met with gratification on my end.
This has been answered in the Relationship Problem thread, at the following link: ----> http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161-Relationship-problem-thread?page=38#6793538
 

s0denone

Elite Member
Apr 25, 2008
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D Bones said:
Whoop whoop.
You're alright, man. I know you didn't mean anything by what you said... And yes, I agree that one can always move on; it just isn't as easy as it sounds.

Sorry if I'm(we, I guess) are derailing this thread, OP. That wasn't the intention.

D-Bones - it just isn't about relationships per se, it's about self worth and self-esteem. The OP is in a tight spot, and shouldn't be pushed further down depression-avenue because of a failed, or simply miserable, relationship.

Still, I'll just stop here - no reason to derail further. Cheers :)
 

garfoldsomeoneelse

Charming, But Stupid
Mar 22, 2009
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It sounds like she just doesn't want to be more than friends. In my experience, the average woman will want to "save you" when she finds you significantly attractive, and would usually be more afraid of what would happen when she says "no".

I get the feeling that you do a lot of nice things for her that she doesn't have to reciprocate because you rationalize that "just being there" is her repayment.

If I'm right, odds are pretty good that she's gotten very comfortable having someone cater to her needs without having to work for it. It's like she's on welfare and is too content to get another job. She gets something for nothing, and wants to keep it that way, because if she got into a relationship with you, she'd have to start tending to your needs, as well, which would be like telling the government to stop sending you free money so you can go get a job that pays the exact same thing.