The second coming of Christ

[CM156_v1legacy]

When Jesus of Nazareth preached back in the days of yore, his sermons would be full of parables, stories that the average bum on the street could understand. He compared faith to Farming, Fishing, raising livestock, and being kicked around by rich people. These were all indicative of the lives biblical people lived.

It's my theory that the second time around, Jesus shall communicate almost entirely in pop culture references. Nerds have inherited the earth, and if christ were to return now, every word out of his mouth would be something related to video games, movies, or other forms of popularized mass media.

"Two brothers sat playing call of duty..." Eh, eh?

Questions?

The only problem with Jesus playing CoD is that it would take him 3 days to respawn.

OT: I hadn't given this much thought, tbh.

 

[rutcommapat]

Jesus will be a comedian.

 

[Redingold]

Is it not said that the geek shall inherit the earth?

 

[Je Suis Ubermonkey]

Jesus will come

and he well be a brony

I can see the revised testament now...

Pinkie pie 23:17
"And lo, the saviour did speak of those six fillies, those lords of so many hearts, and when he spoke it was with love and tolerance in his heart, for they had shown him the way to true Friendship."

This can only be a good thing.

 

[teh_Canape]

Jesus will come

and he well be a brony

I can see the revised testament now...

Pinkie pie 23:17
"And lo, the saviour did speak of those six fillies, those lords of so many hearts, and when he spoke it was with love and tolerance in his heart, for they had shown him the way to true Friendship."

This can only be a good thing.

if anything, it would be better than the new one, I mean, less hypocritical/contradicting than it now is =P

 

[Thundero13]

You have just put me in a good mood, thank you very much

 

[James Crook]

Tempting.

I will become a pious christian if Jesus steps up, bitchslaps the pope over the table, sits down and says "U jelly?"..

It'd be hilarious if he said "YOU MORONS! MY MESSAGE WAS TO NOT BE A DICK AND YOU WROTE AN ENTIRE BOOK OUT OF IT?!", sat down, took a long, deep breath, then smacked Shirley Phelps across the face.

 

[Darknacht]

LULz. I have your souls. You mad?

 

[bjj hero]

He'll be on the Jersey Shore and refer to himself as The Situation.

Oh wait...

 

[Exterminas]

I believe Yathzee is Jesus.

Possibly Movebob. Both would fit that description.

 

[James Crook]

I believe Yathzee is Jesus.

Possibly Movebob. Both would fit that description.

So, Jesus is an English person that lives in the land of 'roos, and makes satiric reviews of games and has no ethical limits doing so.
Makes sense.

 

[Zhadramekel]

Am I the only one who thought when they saw the thread title 'Not another rapture prediction'?

 

[gCrusher]

Thank you for the chuckle. I always wondered what a hip, new bible translation would look like.

"And God saw this, and it was good. It was aaaalll good, ya'll."

Seriously, if He didn't have a great sense of humor, we would've been scoured off existence completely a long, long time ago.

 

[kidd25]

Am I the only one who thought when they saw the thread title 'Not another rapture prediction'?

i thought of it as " this is what gonna happen!" he will return like a thief in the night, when we least except.

but seeing how we are joking, he is going to bring aliens, "that is all"

 

[ProfessorEkim]

Christ hung around with the rejects of society in those days. Thus he'd hang around with the rejects of society today.
Bums, drug addicts, shunned homosexuals, loners. People who's lives have been destroyed by circumstance.

...nerds too, right?

 

[WizardArtist]

But doesn't it say that the second time He comes He'll just round up all the faithful believers and bounce back to heaven with them?

 

[Richardplex]

I am surprised at the lack of a religious flame war going on, and this being treated as it should be.

OT: I would do oh so many things to see Jesus *****-slap the Pope.

 

[Simeon Ivanov]

Sounds awesome ... but will he be a brony?

 

[Animyr]

And this thread will bring about a bad movie starring Adam Sandler. So it is written.