The sexual promiscuity of todays youth.

[IHaveNoCoolness]

Clearly, she isn't.
...Yeah, that was probably mean.
That other sex thread has me on edge.

I was so tempted to say that myself but I left it open for somebody else, thanks Max for not letting me down.

I think if you asked these guys how many women they've been involved with for oral sex, manual sex, or even just dry humping, you'd probably see similar numbers.

That's quite intriguing actually I may have to clarify this at some point. Because if those things are included that does tack an extra couple on for me at least, but even so no where near 40 though.

Still though, the point still stands that it's a fundamental division in how men and women view sex. We're wired differently so we're going to have different answers to that kind of a question.

Additionally I think it also comes down to disparity in availability of sex. For women, sex is a readily available commidity whereas for men, it's a little bit harder to scare up. I'd say in general it's a lot easier for a woman to find a willing sexual partner than it is for a man to find one.

 

[arf19]

wow 40 sexual partners

i had a girlfriend who had a lot of sexual partners i never really asked her about it much caused i was scared of the real number cause i was still a virgin at the time and that thing that always stick to the back of your mind is i can please this girl even tho she has may sexual partners so yeah

 

[ace_of_something]

Really? I know quite a few rape victims (it's a long story, but I seem to attract broken people,) and most of them have a very staunch fear of sex.

Yeah really. It's part of many women's coping process. I can probably dig up some literature for you tomorrow (midnight here) if you're sincerely interested. I knew two such women, one of whom became an incredibly promiscuous heterosexual, the other switched teams with the same vigour. It's a bad scene, man.

It can go either way. I used to help out in a rape survivors class. (I was the big guy in the foam suit they yelled at/hit for a session) It seems like that they either
A) Make sex a purely physical thing leaving out the emotional attachment that is needed so that they don't feel as violated or
B) don't want to be touched, looked at, in the same room with a man let alone have sex with them. I've had a handful of friends that are rape survivors all but one of them feel into this latter catagory.

It also depends on the kind of rape; date rape vs. a guy broke into my house robbed me and such. Get two very different reactions.

edit: Oh yeah i almost have a masters in sociology. Though this is not my area of emphasis. Just wanted to toot that horn.

 

[wewontdie11]

Really? I know quite a few rape victims (it's a long story, but I seem to attract broken people,) and most of them have a very staunch fear of sex.

Yeah really. It's part of many women's coping process. I can probably dig up some literature for you tomorrow (midnight here) if you're sincerely interested. I knew two such women, one of whom became an incredibly promiscuous heterosexual, the other switched teams with the same vigour. It's a bad scene, man.

I'm pretty sure that's not the case for her actually. My zero qualifications in psychology have allowed me to deduce, for her at least, that her main problem is probably daddy issues. She has talked about how she hates her father and is always distant with him, so it would seem somehow logical that this may be a resulting effect from not having a strong male role model.

 

[traceur_]

40 sexual partners in 3 years? What's her number?

Thats horrible! (get me a copy too)

I'll need a copy too.

I'd say a chick that does more than 1 guy in one night is a slut but I don't really care about slutiness as long as they're not too slutty.

 

[ScarlettRage]

i wouldn't say girl have more partners, guys can sleep around alot too... but guys that sleep around and have to lie too girls are fucking too stupid to care

 

[Zorg Machine]

Barney Stinson has 200. (just throwing it out there)
but honestly I don't care that much I only think that 2 is too little and 100 are too many.

 

[dstryfe]

I don't know if I'm subconsciously avoiding them, but I haven't dated any sluts (no one night stands, nothing). I do believe that all of my girlfriends were virgins. As I said, maybe that's my preference and I just don't realize it, but I don't go out of my way to avoid anyone that sleeps around. I am, however, good friends with many women like that. As for guys who'll sleep with anything that moves, I know of only one, but he tends to go for relationships with...whoever it is, and genuinely tries to make them work (the relationship, that is).

 

[Sindre1]

I know everybody else is going to talk about the double standard but I'm serious, and this isn't about her being "liberated" or whatever. 40 plus partners from ages 16 to 19 is not a lifestyle choice, it's a pathological condition.

Yes it may look like a choice, but really its not.
Like Barney in How I Met Your Mother.

 

[ThreeWords]

Methinks t'aint the number but the attitude. I wouldn't mind if a girl had had twenty boyfriends, but it would worry me if she went out with just anyone, with no consideration.

It's been said that a boy gets 'man points' if he's had a load of girlfriends, but I think if he went out with just anyone, bitches and/or ugly girls included, he too would get stick.

 

[Landslide]

I would comment that you should have however many sexual partners it takes to satisfy whatever your desire is. If it's 1, and that turns out to be your spouse forever, happily - then awesome. If you just really love sex, and it's 50 or 100, then what does it matter to anyone else? Maybe you need that many encounters to find someone special to you. Heck, maybe you're not looking for anyone special and just some casual intimacy. Who knows?

Personally, I think the term 'slut' should be reserved for people who have sex for a living. People who have a lot or partners as part of their lifestyle should be left alone to live how they desire.

 

[Lord Monocle Von Banworthy]

Sexual daddy issues, eh? Yeah, you should probably go with your gut instinct here that she has clearly never suffered any sexual assault that she hasn't told you about and doesn't need anybody's support at all. That must be it. Maybe you should start a thread in an internet forum where you call her a slut.

Or listen to people who are trying to tell you something serious for once here. One of those things maybe.

 

[razer17]

But when I considered the mitigating factors that may have been responsible for this, the one I personally kept sticking on was gender. I would imagine it easier for girls to pick up guys than the reverse, but does anybody else have the same experience where girls tend to have far, far more sexual partners than any guy they know?

well if that were the case, who are these women sleeping with. gender cant be a mitigating factor, unless they are all lesbians. because to have many woman sleeping with many men, you need many men sleeping with many woman. or an improbable ratio of men:women.

but as for the question - it really depends on the circumstances. was she using condoms every time. was she drunk every time she had a different guy?
I personally wouldn't ask her for sex, i'd be more inclined to go with someone less promiscuous, but if a person like that offered, and weren't full on slags, and did use protection and weren't always drunk etc. Basically it depends on the girl and the situation.
although 40 guys surely equates to.... a lot of experience.
also depends on who the guys were. basically her attitude and not the number of people.

 

[JaketheRake]

People seem to be avoiding the obvious of why it would make a person unattractive when they have slept with so many other people. Are they carrying a disease? This is likely. Condoms or no, after 40 partners there is a good chance you carry some form of herpes.

If this is sex without an established relationship there are other things to consider. If someone is willing to do that then you have to worry about if they would ever make a faithful partner. You also have to worry about the 'whoops she's pregnant, is it mine?' factor.

People tend to forget the headache and hassle that is the aftermath of sex. Foresight of this kind of hassle can make an otherwise attractive person seem not worth the risk.

 

[Hammith]

I would comment that you should have however many sexual partners it takes to satisfy whatever your desire is. If it's 1, and that turns out to be your spouse forever, happily - then awesome. If you just really love sex, and it's 50 or 100, then what does it matter to anyone else? Maybe you need that many encounters to find someone special to you. Heck, maybe you're not looking for anyone special and just some casual intimacy. Who knows?

Personally, I think the term 'slut' should be reserved for people who have sex for a living. People who have a lot or partners as part of their lifestyle should be left alone to live how they desire.

Damn it Landslide, I go through the entire thread, readying an eerily similar argument, and then get to the last post and you've stolen it. Get out of my head, damn it!

Seriously, though, why should it matter how many people you slept with? It should matter why you've slept with them. If it's just for fun or because you like them, then what's the big deal? We here in the west are still some of the most stuck up when it comes to sex. It's just people having fun in a way that's pretty much free, what's wrong with that? Now, of course, just like all things we humans do it's got a darker side, but that's got nothing to do with the act, it's to do with us. So can anyone tell me why sex with 40 people over 3 years is actually bad? (Assuming she was having safe sex, wasn't doing anything illegal, etc, etc.)

 

[wewontdie11]

Sexual daddy issues, eh? Yeah, you should probably go with your gut instinct here that she has clearly never suffered any sexual assault that she hasn't told you about and doesn't need anybody's support at all. That must be it. Maybe you should start a thread in an internet forum where you call her a slut.

Or listen to people who are trying to tell you something serious for once here. One of those things maybe.

Firstly, she labelled herself a slut when she told me this (where the first question stemmed from) and I attempted to convince her that I didn't think she was, regardless of my actual opinion, just to not make her feel bad.

I said I'm pretty sure that's not the case because on the topic of her father I had asked her twice before if he ever did anything to hurt her and she adamantly said no both times, although he apparently physically abused her mother on two occasions. It is a very plausible possibility that she may have been lying but I hope she would have told the truth to me considering I have told her some home truths, not of the same vein as sexual abuse, but of the same personal nature.

 

[Lord George]

I only count people that I've slept with more then once, rather then one night stands, as to me they can be two very different things. Any other guys do that? because that might explain the guy to girl rate. Or girls have better memories about nights out? I think this calls for research. To the batmobile (or MSN).

 

[Lord Monocle Von Banworthy]

We here in the west are still some of the most stuck up when it comes to sex.

Some of the most stuck up eh? You're using a comparative, which implies someone else is less or least. Tell us please about some of these large, liberated, progressive non-Western societies where sex is always a positive form of expression devoid of unfortunate social consequences.

 

[Lord Monocle Von Banworthy]

Firstly, she labelled herself a slut when she told me this (where the first question stemmed from) and I attempted to convince her that I didn't think she was, regardless of my actual opinion, just to not make her feel bad.

I said I'm pretty sure that's not the case because on the topic of her father I had asked her twice before if he ever did anything to hurt her and she adamantly said no both times, although he apparently physically abused her mother on two occasions. It is a very plausible possibility that she may have been lying but I hope she would have told the truth to me considering I have told her some home truths, not of the same vein as sexual abuse, but of the same personal nature.

You don't get to call her what she gets to call herself.

Also, you told her some of your 19 year old boy drama so she what, owes you her confidence? You have a long hard road to maturity ahead of you. Maybe even as long as mine was from your age.

 

[santaandy]

1) At what point would you consider a person, male or female, to be a slut? (I do realise the gender imbalance with regards to this issue but just be honest as to your opinion)

2) Would knowing a person had had so many partners make them less attractive to you?

1) I think of sexual promiscuity as being a bad thing when it's done for the wrong reason and you aren't happy inside because of it. Whether you're in love or in lust, as long as it's consentual and a positive experience, number is irrelevant. At some point, that number is going to be impressive or just odd, but it's still irrelevant. Even if you just like to screw around, as long as it's safe, consentual, and non-abusive, go for it.

2) No. The only thing that would bother me is if those people treated her badly, she allowed herself to be treated badly, or she treated them badly. Or if those people were nasty (in a health & hygiene way) or had STDs. Number simply doesn't matter.