The single most destructive phrase...

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Doclector

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Words are funny things. One set of words can instantly calm someone down, one set of words could spark off a massive argument. Matter of fact, it might be more accurate to say humans are funny things...

Anyway, this is about the latter. Not the humans. The words. The words that let loose the dogs of hell. The words on the can opener with which the can of worms is opened. The words that seemingly instantly cause havoc, arguments, and hatred. Basically, what phrases seem to instantly spark off arguments between those you know?

"You wouldn't understand"

I don't know how much shit has been started by those three words. To make a scientific guess, I'd say "a lot". Whether it's because someone's past was harder than someone elses, or because someone lives quite differently to someone else, or simply because they're different people, once this is out of the bag, it's all screwed.

Hell, I've done it in the past. It's probably true. I'm a rather different person, other people truly wouldn't understand, I'm not calling them stupid just...not like me. Thing is, even when it is true, it leads to nothing but trouble, leaving the other side not understanding why they wouldn't understand, and you not understanding why they can't understand that they won't understand. Understand?

See? See how fucking ridiculous that gets? Those words must be left alone. At all costs.

"Grow up"

It instantly makes you angry. Anger does not make logic. Anger makes shouting and much storming around, and occasionally fire and corpses. It's made worse that it's rarely followed by anything. No explanation, just a suggestion that you are immature.

Thing is, people who aren't immature don't usually believe they are, and being told they are thus makes them angry. People who are immature will either argue to the end that they're not, or they have no problems with being immature, and will just see you as a boring person who's given themselves to the boredom of maturity, and as such, the use of immaturity as an insult will anger them.

The only way this doesn't go to a never-ending argument is if the person is mature, but doesn't believe so. In which case you just reinforced their lack of faith in themselves. Good job, hero.
 

Dango

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If someone tells me to "Man Up", then they can pretty much fuck right off.
 

Aerosteam

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Sep 22, 2011
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"Do a Hulk impression."

When I hear that I just... RRRAAAAGHH!
 

jackpackage200

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"Hey have you gained weight?"

Nothing good will come from asking this question.

OR

"Hey how is the weather up there?"

I hate being asked this. It's not funny or clever.

OR

"I hate Nathan Fillion".

While I can't imagine anyone saying it, I would imagine it would piss everyone (including myself) off.
 

Tactical Pause

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There are some things that really set me off, but as this is not in Religion and Politics I will not mention them. Other than that, pretty much anything you might hear on a reality TV show will instantly make me want to kill somebody.

I... Hate... Reality... Television...
 

Ldude893

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Apr 2, 2010
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"Why can't you do anything right?"
"This TV show/movie/religion sucks and you're not supposed to like it."
"I think pedophilia is completely fine."
"Why can't you be more manly?"
"Bat credit card."
 

piinyouri

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Dango said:
If someone tells me to "Man Up", then they can pretty much fuck right off.
Indeed.
A lot of the phrases Carlin discussed apply here for me.

"Are they keeping you busy?" or "Are you staying busy?" is another one that boils my blood.
 

Shock and Awe

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Sep 6, 2008
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I believe this term would probably start the most fights is used willy nilly.

You are a **** and I fucked your mother, good day.
 

Lionsfan

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Jan 29, 2010
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Dude, turn in your man card.

That one pisses me off quite a bit. Man cards don't exist, and if they did, they would be the most douchetastic thing in the world
 

Matthew Kjonaas

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Jun 28, 2011
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"I know I shouldn't but..." as in I know I shouldn't but I will mess with someone like this, or I know I shouldn't be doing this to I am that guy but I did any way... Really one comment after.
jackpackage200 said:
"Hey have you gained weight?"

Nothing good will come from asking this question.

OR

"Hey how is the weather up there?"

I hate being asked this. It's not funny or clever.

OR

"I hate Nathan Fillion".

While I can't imagine anyone saying it, I would imagine it would piss everyone (including myself) off.
Imthatguy said:
"Shut Up" That phrase rarely accomplishes anything.

PS I hate Nathan Fillion
 

GiantRaven

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Dec 5, 2010
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'Are you sure?'

If you asked me if I wanted something and I said no, I'm not suddenly going to change my mind three seconds later. There's no need to ask such a redundant question.
 

shrekfan246

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May 26, 2011
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"Antiquing".

Slightly more seriously, I'm not sure if I can think up any specific phrases that will enrage me to the point of starting an argument. Usually if I'm going to pick an argument with somebody, it's because of the attitude they're assuming or because they're defending something that is factually and provably wrong.
 

Ryotknife

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"You are an engineer, figure it out" when applied to something completely unrelated to my field in my personal life (not at work).
 

AceDefective

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Telling someone that is freaking out to "Relax" is probably one of the worst ways to get them to calm down
 

warrcry13

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liamlemon7 said:
Telling someone that is freaking out to "Relax" is probably one of the worst ways to get them to calm down
I agree, but I've had "Chill the fuck out dude!" work before. What really annoys me is when people say First World problem.
 
Sep 13, 2009
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warrcry13 said:
liamlemon7 said:
Telling someone that is freaking out to "Relax" is probably one of the worst ways to get them to calm down
I agree, but I've had "Chill the fuck out dude!" work before. What really annoys me is when people say First World problem.
Worst thing is when someone REALLY just needs to "calm down" <-- another one. I think the reason why it bothers people so much is people hate to seem like the only person being irrational or worked up about something while everyone else is calm and collected. It's like having an unfortunate truth thrown in their face. That's probably why "Chill the fuck out dude" would generally work better because at least someone else is getting somewhat worked up about something.

OT: Hmm... "God man, do you ever wash your face?!" was one that I woke up to one morning several years ago. Thaat was probably the closest I've gotten to blowing up at someone.

Oh acne, good times.
 

VeryOddGamer

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Feb 26, 2012
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Well, one that is actually quite rare, but very destructive nevertheless.
"The Reapers are my solution."
When I heard someone say that the last time I remember jumping all over while yelling: "NO! NO! NO! WRONG!"