The Thread of Uncomfortable Truths

[Lexodus]

If you are one kill away from you're killstreak on CoD6, there will be a power cut.

Also, masturbation is probably bad for you.

Not true; an average of 21 ejaculations a month drastically reduces you chances of testicular cancer. Masturbation also can, if done right, increase your sexual stamina, leading to more pleasure for you, and more pleasure for your boyfriend/girlfriend/genderless Nazi love-slave. It may also (apparently) increase the size of your wang a little, you know, through the constant stretching and moulding of the muscle... and it'll help you build up your arm muscles. However, the uncomfortable truth in all that is:

If you have a dominant hand, be prepared for the muscles on that side to be noticeably larger. No, really.

Most people require the use of both hands. Can you only use one?

I'm just incredibly left-handed is all. Lemme put it this way; I can't actually pick things up with my right hand. I have to pick them up in my left hand and pass them to my right. Oh, I'm physically capable, alright, but my brain is wired to do everything leftily
So that's why I don't use two hands when I masturbate, dear friend, and in case you were trying to set me up with a 'dur hur you must have a small dick' joke, let me tell you with the utmost pride that it is a rather magnificent specimen indeed. (^^)

Love is merely a chemical reaction occuring in the brain.

Let it be known: One day, when you least expect it, George Takei will have sex with you.

 

[guntotingtomcat]

If you are one kill away from you're killstreak on CoD6, there will be a power cut.

Also, masturbation is probably bad for you.

Not true; an average of 21 ejaculations a month drastically reduces you chances of testicular cancer. Masturbation also can, if done right, increase your sexual stamina, leading to more pleasure for you, and more pleasure for your boyfriend/girlfriend/genderless Nazi love-slave. It may also (apparently) increase the size of your wang a little, you know, through the constant stretching and moulding of the muscle... and it'll help you build up your arm muscles. However, the uncomfortable truth in all that is:

If you have a dominant hand, be prepared for the muscles on that side to be noticeably larger. No, really.

Most people require the use of both hands. Can you only use one?

I'm just incredibly left-handed is all. Lemme put it this way; I can't actually pick things up with my right hand. I have to pick them up in my left hand and pass them to my right. Oh, I'm physically capable, alright, but my brain is wired to do everything leftily
So that's why I don't use two hands when I masturbate, dear friend, and in case you were trying to set me up with a 'dur hur you must have a small dick' joke, let me tell you with the utmost pride that it is a rather magnificent specimen indeed. (^^)

Love is merely a chemical reaction occuring in the brain.

Let it be known: One day, when you least expect it, George Takei will have sex with you.

Sigh, I was indeed hitting you with a poorly concieved dick joke. Apologies. It's quite late where I am and I'm putting off work.
And I'm sure it is a fine specimen.

 

[Lexodus]

If you are one kill away from you're killstreak on CoD6, there will be a power cut.

Also, masturbation is probably bad for you.

Not true; an average of 21 ejaculations a month drastically reduces you chances of testicular cancer. Masturbation also can, if done right, increase your sexual stamina, leading to more pleasure for you, and more pleasure for your boyfriend/girlfriend/genderless Nazi love-slave. It may also (apparently) increase the size of your wang a little, you know, through the constant stretching and moulding of the muscle... and it'll help you build up your arm muscles. However, the uncomfortable truth in all that is:

If you have a dominant hand, be prepared for the muscles on that side to be noticeably larger. No, really.

Most people require the use of both hands. Can you only use one?

I'm just incredibly left-handed is all. Lemme put it this way; I can't actually pick things up with my right hand. I have to pick them up in my left hand and pass them to my right. Oh, I'm physically capable, alright, but my brain is wired to do everything leftily
So that's why I don't use two hands when I masturbate, dear friend, and in case you were trying to set me up with a 'dur hur you must have a small dick' joke, let me tell you with the utmost pride that it is a rather magnificent specimen indeed. (^^)

I use two hands. One to actually jerk with and the other to play with my balls. It just feels better.

I don't doubt you do, I'm only saying that I don't. I also made the point that the jerking hand, if it's always/mostly the same one, will develop muscle faster than the other one, in a rather noticeable way (my collarbone, for example, sticks out on the left because the muscles on the left side of my body are dominant).

 

[Lexodus]

Sigh, I was indeed hitting you with a poorly concieved dick joke. Apologies. It's quite late where I am and I'm putting off work.
And I'm sure it is a fine specimen.

Never fear; I am quite assured in myself, so there is no need to apologise (^^)
It is rather late, isn't it? Christ, it's 2:31, and I need to... get up... in the morning
Why, that it is. What, you want a gander, you old flirt?

 

[guntotingtomcat]

Sigh, I was indeed hitting you with a poorly concieved dick joke. Apologies. It's quite late where I am and I'm putting off work.
And I'm sure it is a fine specimen.

Never fear; I am quite assured in myself, so there is no need to apologise (^^)
It is rather late, isn't it? Christ, it's 2:31, and I need to... get up... in the morning
Why, that it is. What, you want a gander, you old flirt?

perhaps, but not before I take a good long gander at my own. After all, some bloke on the internet told me it can increase its size.

 

[tigermilk]

Portal, Ocarina of Time, that game you really like is only better than MW2 and/or Halo 3 because of some arbitary criteria you/someone else has created.

150 years from now you will be dead.

Our concern for poverty and injustice is outweighed by our desire for stuff.

The escapist exists because of our susceptibility to advertising and desire for stuff.

In the UK either 95% of reported rapes are a lie or most rapists get away with it.

It is highly probably many more rapes/sexual assaults will go unreported and the perpetrators will commit more offences.

The best sex you ever have will be in your mind, if you are male and a virgin it won't live up to the hype (and probably if you are female).

That first orgasm will probably be the most physically intense and enjoyable orgasm you will ever have.

Cannabis makes films music and mastabation more enjoyable.

If you have/ever have children there is a possibility they will be sexually assaulted/raped.

This thread and comment will probably be read by rapists and victims of rape.

At some point your parents may well have wished you were never born.

They may be right.

 

[Nouw]

The perfect thread for pessimists! Ahem, we will never convince people 2012 is fake until the day it comes.

 

[tigermilk]

Your IQ reflects your ability to answer a series of culturally subjective questions in a certain way.

Twilight novels are very popular.

Watchmen (or insert preferred/critically acclaimed book) is not better than Twilight, you/a person or people who reflect your aspirations prefer it. While quite possibly not having read Twilight (also applies to games, films, tv shows etc).

"You only hurt the one you love that may be true, but better said you only hurt the one who loves you" (Coomes 1998).

You may have/possibly will stand by and watch someone you love get hurt/humiliated rather than step in.

 

[LewsTherin]

What you may think of as subjective morality might just be you lying to yourself about how bad what you've done or thought really is.

 

[kikon9]

"No matter how hard you try you aren't the 'one liner' guy."

 

[tigermilk]

You may well post on this thread, website and any number of others seeking approval and hoping someone quotes you.

Declaring all people have [insert example of dark/unpleasent thought] is a rationalising process as people try and normalise their dark/unpleasent thought(s).

 

[MinishArcticFox]

No matter how much I troll people will never stop loving Justin Bieber and most will never choose to participate in the political system.

 

[kikon9]

If certain things happened, I could become a killer. And enjoy it.

I'm sorry to say that's true for me too.

 

[kikon9]

Let it be known: One day, when you least expect it, George Takei will have sex with you.

I laughed my ass off.

 

[blankedboy]

Every year on average you swallow about 3 spiders in your sleep.

This has been proven as bullshit... goddamn rumours.

I agree with Zyst on this one.

 

[Krythe]

Spoiler: This will never happen to you.

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

Deep down, at the very core of my soul...I know I could be the bad guy.

I don't think I'd be alone in saying I'd pay to see that for a day. The sheer size of the juxtaposition would be enough to tear a hole in space-time.

I took this in another way. Looking at your own life and the complex web of interaction and effect on the people you meet, are you the villain in the trite little melodrama you call your life? After all, Al Caponemay have been a criminal who helped create the Mob as it exists today, but he also tried to help the community through charity. Adolf Hitler was responsible for great atrocities during the war, but he also helped an impoverished and unjustly punished Germany rise to its feet and become apowerful player on the world stage once more.

True, of course, is that you likely will never greatly affect anyone or anything outside your sphere, but the idea still applies. You could be thebad guy and never even know.

 

[Connor Lonske]

I like to wet myself.

Me too. I think it feels about as comforting as taking a really good poop.

Just to clarify, I don't like pooping myself(unless its Fable, where its very funny) but nice to know I am not the only one on the Escapist with that fetish.

 

[ejb626]

You're not the only one with a great idea for a video game/movie/TV Series/book that will one day become incredibly famous and get amazing reviews and have armies of fanboys etc. almost everyone else is thinking the same thing and chances are your idea has already been done.

...

thanks for that, and I was aspiring to be a manga artist.

Now, I will die.

Trust me this forum brought that same crushing realization on me, everytime I posted a game idea someone would always quote me saying "Oh I saw something like that in Game X" its annoying but unfortunately true. There seems to be only a set number of scenarios that the human mind can come up with.