The Threat of Home Invaders

[ShindoL Shill]

i'll set the scene:
you're alone, and you hear a sound that you didnt make. you think it might be a home invader. what do you do?

do you get a weapon? do you improvise one?

and, if you're naked/semi-naked, do you put on clothes (lets say you were asleep/just had a shower/lounging with your assorted genitals out)?

i made this thread because i just heard a clatter from my kitchen sink (which has a window a person can climb through next to it) and went to investigate (it was my cat) but i stopped to put on jeans. just in case there was a burglar who saw me standing there half naked.

 

[pubbing]

The first thing I grab is my cell phone to call the police if necessary. Then the next thing I grab is my .40 out the closet. I don't worry about pants. I would go into the kitchen and check it out. If nothing I would secure my gun back in its place and go back to sleep. If it was someone I would call the police while I take a defensive position somewhere close. If he makes a threatening gesture I shoot him. If not than I wait for the cops to show up.

 

[SilentCom]

I always have clothing on so I don't have to worry about being exposed. I would probably either call the police or grab a knife from the kitchen.

 

[Something Amyss]

If I'm naked, I will totally take down the intruder in the buff.

Though I get so many noises around here, they'd have to be lap dancing me before I 'd notice.

 

[Exterminas]

Funfact:

In German we don't even have an expression for "Home Invader" We only have the word "Einbrecher", which basically means Burgler (The intention to steal is dominant)

Whereas "Home Invader" uses military terminology and implies the need/possibility to defend. I guess that comes with having a gun at many houses.

 

[Wierdguy]

Grab my extremly low-quality and mass produced chineese sword and take a look.

And if Im naked... well... maybe itll help scare him off if there is one.

 

[Zhukov]

Pick up something bludgeon-y and go have a look, naked if necessary. (Way I see it, if there's one thing scarier than running into a big grumpy guy swinging an axe handle, it's running into a big grumpy naked guy swinging an axe handle). Depending on what I find, I'd either go back to bed, call the cops or chase the troublemaker off myself.

Although since I share my house with three other people, I don't may much attention to random noises.

 

[Zhukov]

I asked for a post, and for my sins they gave me two.

(Double post.)

 

[James Rednok]

I'd charge out swords-a-swingin', stark-naked, with a creepy baby mask on. Even if there's no one there; it's a bloody hilarious thing to do.

 

[TehCookie]

I use my ninja skills to see what's going on. Too many times have there been someone coming in a 3am only to be my brother's stupid friends or my brother himself.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

If I'm clothed? ... Kick his ass.

If I'm naked? ... Kick his ass, then teabag him. =P

 

[Rawne1980]

I sleep naked.

The amount of times we've heard a noise when we're in bed and my wife has sent me to have a look.

I go down naked.

I have a metal bar next to my side of the bed so I grab that.

I mean, what would throw a burgler off more. Taking 5 minutes to get dressed and giving him chance to run off or a naked bloke with a metal bar giggling like a lunatic.

So thats what I do.

I run down stairs stark bollock naked with my bar and I giggle.

Not had a burglar yet but i'd love to see their face when they see that.

 

[Jodah]

I grab one of my guns (probably my .357) and go look around. If someone is there I tell them to gtfo or I will shoot. If they leave, I get their licence plate (if applicable) and call the cops. If they come towards me I shoot. I live about 25 minutes from the nearest police patrol route so calling them for actual emergency help isn't viable in most cases.

 

[redisforever]

Grab my BB gun which looks like a real handgun. Scare them off by shooting in their general diection. I sleep in just pants, or naked. No clothes needed to shoot at people.

 

[teqrevisited]

Well an airsoft M4 is extremely convincing at the best of times. In the darkness of the night who's going to be able to tell the difference?

What they might just be able to see would be a 6ft 5 man wearing nothing but boxer shorts and pointing an assault rifle at them.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

The first thing I grab is my cell phone to call the police if necessary. Then the next thing I grab is my .40 out the closet. I don't worry about pants. I would go into the kitchen and check it out. If nothing I would secure my gun back in its place and go back to sleep. If it was someone I would call the police while I take a defensive position somewhere close. If he makes a threatening gesture I shoot him. If not than I wait for the cops to show up.

Ah you Americans, you always have the simplest answer - a gun! Over here in the UK we gotta improvise!