The Threat of Home Invaders

[Nalgas D. Lemur]

you're alone, and you hear a sound that you didnt make. you think it might be a home invader. what do you do?

The first step is obviously to hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife. Shortly after that, I would wonder what the hell is wrong with me for using the term "home invader", even if only in my own thoughts. They aren't "invading" my home. They're not a goddamned army assaulting the place to occupy it, just a burglar.

 

[Mister K]

I have already expirienced something like this and that is what I did:
I got out of the bed in my boxers, went straight to kitchen, took the most badass kitchen knife I had (the butcher knife) and went to the door. I had a thought: "I'll turn on the security camera and if it is someone I don't know and he/she is trying to break-in, then I am calling the police and staying behind the door to put the knife to bastards throat if he/she really does break-in".
Those were my neighbours who simply got home too late and were talking too loud.
Oh, did I sh*t a few bricks.

 

[Dags90]

Well an airsoft M4 is extremely convincing at the best of times. In the darkness of the night who's going to be able to tell the difference?

What they might just be able to see would be a 6ft 5 man wearing nothing but boxer shorts and pointing an assault rifle at them.

I'll tell you who wont, the police![footnote]http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44353153/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/?GT1=43001[/footnote] In broad daylight!

Personally, I would call out, wait for any response, and try to run away. There's nothing in my house worth even possibly maybe dying over. I also live in a house with other people, so random noises aren't exactly cause for alarm.

 

[Akytalusia]

previous experience dictates i would wait next to the entry point and tell the intruder when they pop in to leave before they make a mistake.

 

[Blow_Pop]

I keep knives in my room, so if it IS a home invader I'll call the police. If said home invader attempts to attack or steal my property I will use the aforementioned knives to defend myself or my belongings.

As far as I'm concerned, if anyone enters my home with intent to maim me and/or steal my belongings, they forfeit their human rights.

I concur.

I sleep with knives under my pillows and have a nice sword and dagger collection in my bedroom. And naked or not I'll run out with my sword. Besides it will surprise them, giving me the upper hand.

 

[WanderingFool]

Hmmm... Well, most likely said home invader would be coming in downstairs, which my house has two floors, and all the good stuff is on the upper floor, with only one way up. So the burglar would see the stairwell light on and a 870 barrel pointed down at him.

*Edit*

I just checked out the Castle law for my homestate (Pennsylvania), and we apparently have a Stand Your Ground law, which means if someone is in our house, we dont have to retreat as much as possible, we can stand where we are (armed) and defend ourselves.

I also found that there is apparently no restrictions on what kind of firearms can be owned in Pennsylvania.

 

[Arsen]

In the state I live in, we have a law. It's called a "Castle Law".

Use of deadly physical force against an intruder.

(a) A lawful occupant within a home or other place of residence is justified in using any degree of force that the occupant reasonably believes is necessary, including deadly force, against an intruder to prevent a forcible entry into the home or residence or to terminate the intruder's unlawful entry (i) if the occupant reasonably apprehends that the intruder may kill or inflict serious bodily harm to the occupant or others in the home or residence, or (ii) if the occupant reasonably believes that the intruder intends to commit a felony in the home or residence.

(b) A lawful occupant within a home or other place of residence does not have a duty to retreat from an intruder in the circumstances described in this section.

I love how it's so ambiguously worded. It can be ANY situation with justification on behalf of the defenders. You can legally kill the intruder for any reason if the circumstance calls for it. I do not own a handgun, but wish to get one soon. Anything can happen given the bad person's rampant belief that the less money they make the more they have the right to thieve from their fellow man. And since some people ARM themselves to make theivery a much easier task...such instances allow one to to amiably practice this law.

Long live Americas ability to own a handgun as well. Combined, this is one of our best laws.

OT - I would grab the knife I own, turn off the lights...and wait for the so called man to come into the house. Afterwards, he has officially forfeited his own life. Even so this is a greater argument for guns. What if he "overpowers me"? What if I cannot, due to my physique, defend myself against a stronger opponent? Such justice calls into fact that the gun would make my chances of survival more equal.

 

[pubbing]

The first thing I grab is my cell phone to call the police if necessary. Then the next thing I grab is my .40 out the closet. I don't worry about pants. I would go into the kitchen and check it out. If nothing I would secure my gun back in its place and go back to sleep. If it was someone I would call the police while I take a defensive position somewhere close. If he makes a threatening gesture I shoot him. If not than I wait for the cops to show up.

Ah you Americans, you always have the simplest answer - a gun! Over here in the UK we gotta improvise!

That is why I will never live there.
I think it is fucked up that you guys can go to jail just for defending your home. Granted you have to be real careful about shooting an intruder here too but at least we don't get charged for a crime when we are the victims.

 

[Pinkamena]

I'd hide my kids and hide my wife.

 

[antidonkey]

I'd grab either my .38 snub nose revolver or my full frame 9mm and investigate. I wouldn't worry about pants. I'm sure my junk flopping about would be about the worst thing possible to see before you catch a bullet in the chest.

 

[SadakoMoose]

Hit the emergency light switch than turns on every single light in the house.
I already rigged the doors to go off with alarms if they get broken into rather than unlocked.
If they haven't run (unless they're really stupid, they would, so 99% chance of that) I've already equipped my 12 gauge.

 

[Brutal Peanut]

If my dogs don't bark - there isn't anything to worry about. They are very good at distinguishing sounds. Window screen rattle from the breeze? Nothing. Someone outside? - Alerted. Door opening, even 'quietly'? - I'm alerted. So far, so good.

I'd just lock myself in my room and call the police. My t.v. isn't really worth me possibly being stabbed to death or bludgeoned by a paniced burglar. Also, California has funky burglary laws. I could probably face a problem if I were to use force in defending myself, because they really like to make sure that the uninvited stranger in my house at 3:00 a.m. was really a threat to me. Also, they like to argue a lot about 'intent'. "Did he decide to steal stuff before or after he entered the house?" ....What the hell kind of question is that?

 

[Coraxian]

Got my old bokken under my bed. And if I did happen to be naked in bed (normally wear my underwear) I would just go naked. I would make some noise, hoping that would give them some time to return whence they came. If not, a 6'5" 220lbs naked guy weilding a bokken with some skill should give them some more incentive.

 

[Zantos]

I'm usually in my underwear around the house and the nearest heavy object is an old guitar. I would personally find a mostly naked bear of a man charging at me wielding a guitar incredibly surreal and terrifying, hopefully they would agree.

 

[demoman_chaos]

Not much is more frightening than a naked guy coming at you with a battle axe (a battle axe is more intimidating than a wood-choppy one). I generally sleep either in just my boxers or nothing at all and I keep my war axe next to my bed, he who dareth enter my domain, shalleth meeteth thine axe....eth.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

1. Knock him out 2. Get a boner 3. ??? 4. Profit!

I sleep in my boxers, though if I did so naked I would slip a pair of those on at least, I'm not going to fight anyone naked, I'm not Viggo Mortensen. So that would take but a few seconds, then I'd grab something heavy and try to knock them out when they're back is turned. Have no idea how this would pan out, I'm not a very violent or confrontational person but I'm a fairly big guy so I think I could take them down in one strike with something if they don't see it coming.

 

[Soluncreed]

Go back to sleep because my house makes so many sounds I think it's haunted.

This. I've heard tapping on my walls and had things randomly fall behind me. I think my cats agree with me on this. I've watched them stare at one place for hours. Then they act scared and run away.

 

[Lyri]

I get my hammer and I got solve the problem...

Spoiler: Thor style!

 

[Vivi22]

The smart thing to do if you do think it's a home invader would be to barricade yourself in a room with a cell phone to call the police (since phone lines in the house can be easily cut). But assuming you just expect that it's nothing out of the ordinary but want to be cautious while you take a look I'd make sure I had my cell phone in one hand and one of the knives I have lying around in the other. I'd try to keep it slightly concealed though by keeping somewhat sideways so if there was someone they wouldn't notice it right away.

And I'd be perfectly fine doing this naked. Putting on clothes wastes valuable time and them seeing you naked may take them off guard for an extra second or two in case you have to fight them.