The war on Heavy Metal

[The]

Well gee, I thought music was a way to express yourself. No? Back to the drawing board then.

 

[dexxyoto]

As soon as I read the line about a "sock-hop in Valdosta, Georgia" I knew this had to be a joke. A sock-hop? In Valdosta? Please, everyone knows they're linedancers to the core and will violently oppose anyone who tries to bring in other sorts of dancing.

/joke

In all seriousness tho this is definitely meant to be satire though I empathize with being pulled in. If you just skim it and don't think too deeply about it it does hit the right notes to be true but think about it:
Recommending Pat Boone? GWAR playing for Romney? Suggesting that 87% of republicans feel metal's an issue? This would be true back in the 70s or 80s perhaps but not nowadays.

Take this as a lesson to think hard about what you read and always question it.

Good joke though, very cleverly done satire. I applaud the creator. Jonathon Swift is proud.

 

[Eumersian]

I saw this the other day. This is a satirical article. Nothing more, nothing less.

And it was pretty funny.

 

[Lunar Templar]

lol

i got like 2 sentences in and knew it was BS

"If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden

how nice of them to use bands whom who's popularity has LONG since peaked and faded away

 

[lacktheknack]

"If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden use satanic imagery to corrupt the minds of young people," announced Santorum at a 10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop in Valdosta, Georgia on Thursday.

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE

Seriously, there's no possible way this just happened.

 

[Naeras]

I'm calling Poe's law here. Thinking that heavy metal caused 9/11? Er..yeah, I'm sure Al Qaida are very big fans of Judas Priest.

No they weren't. As we all know, Al Qaida listened exclusively to Pantera. Which explains why they were so...


(wait for it)
(wait for iiiiiiit)

..fuckin' hostile.

 

[somonels]

How many non-retarded musical styles have died in the last five decades? I don't imagine it's many.

 

[Gmans uncle]

wow there are people on this thread who thought this was real... people really don't understand satire anymore...

 

[Nickolai77]

Being non-American, what is a "10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop"??

 

[DJDarque]

Good thing this is fake, or my head might have exploded from the stupid.

 

[Mr.Squishy]

I'm calling Poe's law here. Thinking that heavy metal caused 9/11? Er..yeah, I'm sure Al Qaida are very big fans of Judas Priest.

No they weren't. As we all know, Al Qaida listened exclusively to Pantera. Which explains why they were so...


(wait for it)
(wait for iiiiiiit)

..fuckin' hostile.

YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

Arbitrary filler text to pad my post here so the mods don't give me more warnings.

 

[Nathan Crumpler]

He wants us to listen to some wholesome Pat Boone? If he says so...

 

[Gasaraki]

many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden
n the past, Santorum has accused heavy metal of being the cause of some of the worst crimes in American history including the attempt on the life of Ronald Reagan in 1981, 9/11 and the passage of Obama's Health Care Bill.
okay yeah, no. I refuse to believe that this is an actual thing.

 

[Suicidejim]

Yeah, this one's a fake, although I wouldn't be surprised if that's the sort of thing that Santorum actually thinks. God help America if that man gets elected.

 

[corysagataw]

Rick Santorum tried to kill The Metal...

HE FAILED, as his Popularity FELL, To The Ground.

Edit: Not voting Republican anytime soon.

 

[El Luck]

?If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden use satanic imagery to corrupt the minds of young people,? announced Santorum at a 10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop in Valdosta, Georgia on Thursday.

The amount of stupidity in this sentence is actually mentally painful to read, i don't know if i should invoke poe's law, call troll or vomit in the bathroom.

Its satire/a joke. And you didnt realize.

Sir i love you for that, solely so i don't really have to type more as i am shitfaced.

 

[jakko12345]

The amount of stupid in american politics is approaching a singularity, i fear. My mind can barely comprehend the statement "heavy metal caused 9/11".

That's enough internet for today.