The weirdest question you heard in your life?

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Chimpzy_v1legacy

Warning! Contains bananas!
Jun 21, 2009
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rhizhim said:
i'm sorry but what's GOP? (acronyms, we meet again...)
GOP = Grand Old Party, a nickname for the US Republican Party.

Anyway, a few years ago I was on a train home eating a sub when this older guy comes up to me and asks:

"Why are you eating bread? Wouldn't you rather eat truth?"

I was dumbstruck for a few moments at the utter weirdness of his question. Then he started preaching about how I am a sinner and I'll go to hell if I don't accept god, etc. I was getting rather agitated since I really dislike being bothered while eating, least of all by some presumptuous ass trying to convert a few souls. So I answered his first question:

"I eat bread, because if I tried to survive on truth, I would die of hunger."
 

OneCatch

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Jun 19, 2010
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OhJohnNo said:
Dad once told me of the time he told someone in America that he was from England. The reply he got from a random stranger was "Ah, England! Is that near Belgium?"
Well technically yes, but that's kind of like saying "Florida? Isn't that across from all those Mexicans? :p
 

repeating integers

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Mar 17, 2010
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OneCatch said:
OhJohnNo said:
Dad once told me of the time he told someone in America that he was from England. The reply he got from a random stranger was "Ah, England! Is that near Belgium?"
Well technically yes, but that's kind of like saying "Florida? Isn't that across from all those Mexicans? :p
Precisely my point, it's a really weird question. :p
 

OneCatch

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Jun 19, 2010
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OhJohnNo said:
OneCatch said:
OhJohnNo said:
Dad once told me of the time he told someone in America that he was from England. The reply he got from a random stranger was "Ah, England! Is that near Belgium?"
Well technically yes, but that's kind of like saying "Florida? Isn't that across from all those Mexicans? :p
Precisely my point, it's a really weird question. :p
:D

I just wanted to preclude someone going "Well it is. Duh"
 

DragonsAteMyMarbles

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Feb 22, 2009
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"What colour are your eyes?"

This wouldn't be weird if this was over the internets or something, but the lady in question was right in front of me. Looking straight at them.
Yeah.
 

Silent Anima

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Jun 2, 2011
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chimpzy said:
Anyway, a few years ago I was on a train home eating a sub when this older guy comes up to me and asks:

"Why are you eating bread? Wouldn't you rather eat truth?"

I was dumbstruck for a few moments at the utter weirdness of his question. Then he started preaching about how I am a sinner and I'll go to hell if I don't accept god, etc. I was getting rather agitated since I really dislike being bothered while eating, least of all by some presumptuous ass trying to convert a few souls. So I answered his first question:

"I eat bread, because if I tried to survive on truth, I would die of hunger."
That's brilliant. Utterly brilliant.

OT: "What kind of porn do you watch?" "How do you eat a muffin?" Both of those by one of my best friends. Didn't really know how to answer either of those.

And here's one that annoyed hell outta me: "Is Japan an Asian country?" - My little brother
Normally that's just a facepalm and a "Yes it is." but he wanted to repeatedly deny that it was an Asian country. The stupidity in that kid...
 

Launcelot111

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Jan 19, 2012
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One day I was eating by myself in the food court of my local Asian supermarket (it's legitimately and objectively fantastic food there) and some random woman came up to me and asked "Why are you here? Is your wife Asian?" Not incredibly stupid, I know, but rude as hell, and seeing as I was about 19 at the time, plenty absurd

Another time, I was sitting with two of my friends. One friend and myself are each in pretty good shape, the other friend was pretty scrawny, and we are all guys. We were all sitting in silence for a minute when the scrawny friend blurts out "You know, I bet if you guys tried to rape me, I wouldn't be able to stop you." For what I feel is good reason, we've never let him live that down
 

Launcelot111

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Jan 19, 2012
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DragonsAteMyMarbles said:
"What colour are your eyes?"

This wouldn't be weird if this was over the internets or something, but the lady in question was right in front of me. Looking straight at them.
Yeah.
As weird as this sounds, I'm legitimately unsure what color my eyes are. I look very closely in the mirror trying to decide what color they are and then after about 5 minutes I forget what color I decided on. If your eyes aren't distinctly one color or another, then that strikes me as a perfectly valid question
 
Mar 9, 2010
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TopazFusion said:
[sub]Weirdest question huh?[/sub]

Asked by a friend of mine: "How often do you masturbate?"

I kid you not.

I mean, how do you even answer that?
Do you even answer that?
Yeah, that's a legit question. If that's as weird as it gets for you then I dread to think what you'd think about the conversations I've had with my mates.

OT: My little brother once asked the question "You know if you're having sex and fart, do you pull out and talk about it or do you just keep going?"

You just keep going dude, don't draw attention to it.
 

Sei Konsetsu

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Mar 5, 2012
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I have another one:

One day when I was walking home from school (13 or 15), as I was passing this house, this guy came out and called be to his yard. Hesitantly, I went to the yard, but stayed on the side walk. The guy then asked me if I could come over and cut his yard Saturday. Seeing as everyone in the neighborhood knew I cut yards for people, I was fine and said sure. After setting what time he wanted me to come over, I started walking away? only for the guy to stop me again and ask:

?Hey.. when you come over? can I suck your di** when your done with the yard??

I panicked and ran and never passed that house again until we had long moved and I was like 18.
 

Cavan

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Jan 17, 2011
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DragonsAteMyMarbles said:
"What colour are your eyes?"

This wouldn't be weird if this was over the internets or something, but the lady in question was right in front of me. Looking straight at them.
Yeah.
To be fair, I ask that question..as a colourblind person :/, I like to know and I often can't tell.

Up there would be somebody I know walking up to me and asking if it was better to masturbate right or left handed. There was some conversation leading up to it..but I honestly still don't understand.

Also my thread 'if you could have a vegetable for hair, what would it be?' was up there..but that probably shouldn't count.
 

Divine Miss Bee

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Feb 16, 2010
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all my best dumb questions are either from work or college.

work:
"how much do i get for this coupon?" (coupon is labelled "$3 off" in bold block letters.)
"how much does a haircut cost?" "$20." "are they worth that much?" "we like to think so."
my boss: "can you make a copy of this and fax it to the other store? i need to keep the original."

school:
(college) "dr. [name], if i don't do this theory assignment,what happens to my grade?" "you fail." "why?"
(middle school) random girl: "why do you read so many books?" me: "they're homework. you're supposed to read them too." girl: "why would you do your homework? we're not going to college yet."
(high school) hall monitor: "your skirt is too short! it's against dress code!" i just looked down at my (school-assigned and required game-day wear) cheer uniform and back at him, a little speechless. he wrote me up anyway.
 

DioWallachia

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Sep 9, 2011
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SilentJay22 said:
chimpzy said:
Anyway, a few years ago I was on a train home eating a sub when this older guy comes up to me and asks:

"Why are you eating bread? Wouldn't you rather eat truth?"

I was dumbstruck for a few moments at the utter weirdness of his question. Then he started preaching about how I am a sinner and I'll go to hell if I don't accept god, etc. I was getting rather agitated since I really dislike being bothered while eating, least of all by some presumptuous ass trying to convert a few souls. So I answered his first question:

"I eat bread, because if I tried to survive on truth, I would die of hunger."
That's brilliant. Utterly brilliant.

OT: "What kind of porn do you watch?" "How do you eat a muffin?" Both of those by one of my best friends. Didn't really know how to answer either of those.

And here's one that annoyed hell outta me: "Is Japan an Asian country?" - My little brother
Normally that's just a facepalm and a "Yes it is." but he wanted to repeatedly deny that it was an Asian country. The stupidity in that kid...
You know.... i was asked once:
"Can person can become a fetish? like if i someone asked me: "What its your fetish?" and i would say "Belladonna" "

Dude.....just wow. I know he refers to a porn star but DAMN.
 

Rastien

Pro Misinformationalist
Jun 22, 2011
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Odbarc said:
My brother asks me the most retarded questions;

"Would you **** a girl in the ass if she let you?"
"Would you **** a girl in the ass if someone held a gun to your head?"
"What would you do if someone walked up to you and punched you in the face for no reason?"
"If you had a dog you didn't want anymore, would you kill it or just let it run away?"
"If you were driving, would you cut across all the lanes just to cut someone off?"

He expects serious answers.
I expect he needs serious help
 

Whitbane

Apathetic...
Mar 7, 2012
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"What's the capital of the Atlantic Ocean?"
Yeah, she was serious...
A bit of me died that day.
 

Queen Michael

has read 4,010 manga books
Jun 9, 2009
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"Who is the author of Anne Frank's diary?" My grandma wondered this. Nope, she didn't believe it was a forgery or something, she just wondered who was the book's author. When I said "ANNE FRANK'S diary? Yo're wondering who wrote ANNE FRANK'S diary?" she explained that as far as she knew, whoever typed the text onto paper and sent it to a publisher would count as the author. I explained that this was not so.
 

Queen Michael

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Jun 9, 2009
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Midgeamoo said:
"Wouldn't an 80GB iPod get really heavy if you filled it up with music?" - Somebody in our IT class in year 10 (we must have been about 14 years old?)

Bloodstain said:
OKAY! I put the penny in the door!
I know it wouldn't, but I don't know why. Why?
 

ChildishLegacy

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Apr 16, 2010
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Queen Michael said:
Midgeamoo said:
"Wouldn't an 80GB iPod get really heavy if you filled it up with music?" - Somebody in our IT class in year 10 (we must have been about 14 years old?)

Bloodstain said:
OKAY! I put the penny in the door!
I know it wouldn't, but I don't know why. Why?
80GB of information is already on the iPod, it's just blank, when you put songs onto it it rewrites the blankness, it doesn't add anything physically to it, it just "moves it around" into what the music software recognizes as sound, it's like turning "lrhteo lewh ye" into "why hello there", nothing is added, it's just re arranged into something that means something