the worst movie ever!

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Tehlanna TPX

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Hudson_sir_he said:
The Da Vinci Code - just a terrible, terrible film. Full of bullshit, bad acting, bad direction, 2 hours of my life I'll never get back.

Terminator Salvation - here's an idea, let's get the director of 2 awful actions films to look after one of the best movie franchises ever. What could possibly go wrong?
Offtopic, but your user name and avatar = win.

OT: It was ninja'd but totally Battlefield Earth. It's just that horrible. John Travolta. In dreadlocks. Vom.
 

BGH122

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"Samurai I Am Awry"

That or "Black President", or maybe "Fat *****". Or "Honky Grandma Be Trippin'". Or "Who Dat Ninja?".

Okay, I'm just quoting 30 rock [http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1jcgl_honky-grandma-be-trippin_shortfilms].
 

Cptn_Squishy

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There are movies that are so bad they're good, and there are movies that are so bad they're awful.

My two choices are Kung Pao: Enter The Fist, which is a shame because Bob Oedenkirk was one of the three amigos at SNL along with Conan OBrien and Robert Smigel, so you know he's a talented comedy writer. But at no point in the movie did he stop and say 'Okay, we cant do this joke, its just not that funny.' That movie didn't need a writer, it needed an editor.

My other choice is Cats & Dogs. I got utterly suckered by the trailer, which had one of the dogs saying 'Son of my mom!', which I thought was a very funny line that gave me the impression that it could be a kids movie with adult humour. This is a lot like that episode of Animaniacs where they did a parody of that kids classic, Apocalypse Now. Unfortunately, not only was that the only funny line in the movie, but Sean Hayes was barely recognizable in his voice part and Jon Lovitz was utterly wasted. Have you any idea how difficult to screw up when you have Jon Lovitz doing a voice-over? Poor script, wasted talent, and a story I couldn't care less about that teased me with mature humour and then ended up insulting my intelligence.

BTW, just for the fun of it, here's another example of adult humour in a children's context. Many, many years ago Sesame Street was brought to you by the number zero, and as such Cookie Monster was chowing down on his crack pills in the form of cookies and counting them down. He finishes them off and frets about where to get his next fix. Guy Smiley comes along and says that zero is a number, and therefore he has a number of cookies: zero. CM ponders on this and then eats the zero-eth cookie, belting out my favourite line in the history of Sesame Street: 'Tastes great...less filling!'

Outstanding
 

LadyMint

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Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker.

I was fooled by the box art into thinking it would be something worth watching. About ten minutes in, I turned it off. I tried very hard to like it; I even fast-forwarded past the initial segment to see if it got better as time went by. It didn't.
 

Deacon Cole

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Slaanax said:
The 2nd Dungeon and Dragons movie, it exists I watched it one sci-fi channel. The thing was like 5 times worse than the first one.
Really. Many people said it was better than the first, but I am talking about delusional gamers who thought Marlon Wayan's character demonstrated thieving abilities well and laughed at all the cringeworthy game references.

For the record, Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God AKA Dungeons & Dragons: The Elemental Might AKA Dungeons & Dragons 2; Electric Boogaloo does have some things in it that elevate it above the original. For starters, it has an actual adventuring group rather than trying to ape Joseph Campbell's monomyth like the producers thought they were George Lucas from 1977.

However, it suffers in its own right, mostly due to having about 1/16th the budget. It looks like the sort of production I might put together and I don't have any friends I could convince to dress up all stupid nor do I own a camera.

Neither movie is good but if I were to choose I would say the first is worse as it's just combining scenes from other, better movies into a retarded frankenmovie with lame in-jokes and a plot that is so stupid the universe itself curves inward.

OT: selecting a worst movie is no mean feat as there are many, many, many bad movies and many ways a movie can be bad. Personally, the worst movie is the one without any entertainment value at all. Such a thing is difficult to find as even the worst movie can have some entertainment value, even if only for a few moments.

I've seen a lot of bad movies. One of the worst was Lucifer Complex. It's a spy flick starring Robert Vaughn discovering a Nazi cloning plot that is largely forgettable. Less forgettable was the opening and closing parts, which appear to have been made separately from the main film possibly as a framing device for a later audience. This involves the last man on Earth after the apocalypse thinking to himself and watching video footage of the plot proper which allegedly is about the apocalypse that made this guy the last man on Earth. His internal monologue is so incredibly boring and it goes on for what seems like the rest of your life.

Another pretty bad movie that uses a similar later-made framing device is Curse of Bigfoot. That one added a scene where a high school class is discussing myths and one of the survivors of the plot proper comes in to tell his story. The plot proper was made in the 50's as "Teenagers Battle the Thing." The added scenes drops references to Jaws and Exorcist.

But this movie just keeps going, man. The thing about watching bad movies is you have to appreciate being bored and this movie delivers the good and how! If you don't believe me, see for yourself. It's on the Internet Archive. [http://www.archive.org/details/CurseOfBigfoot] I'll bet you can't sit through it without pausing to go do something else.
 

TermOfEndearment

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Omikron009 said:
Maybe not the worst movie ever, but the worst movie I've ever seen, is called Primer. It's an independent movie about time travel, but the whole thing was incomprehensible technobabble to me. I couldn't follow the plot at all. I only learned the main characters' names in the last 10 minutes of the movie. I've seen movies with lower production values, but at least they were entertaining because of their badness. This one was just the most boring movie I've ever seen.
Agree with you 100%. Everyone was creaming at how "good" this movie was.
Watching it only proved how highly some of my friends hold their own intelligence. It was horribly boring. I had to turn it off about half-way through. I had no clue who the main characters were, even their names eluded me. Biggest waste of time I've ever had watching a movie. At least movies like Twilight are pretty to look at. Primer just had nothing going for it.
 

gorfias

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You really have to put in many qualifications when you have a thread like this. Neflix Streaming alone is pile high with crap that is not worth watching.
Examples:
1) Worst Movie to have made more than $200 Million Global: Likely Transformers 2
2) Worst Movie to be number 1 in the Box Office for at least 1 week: The Specialist
3) Worst Movie of 2009 to have been in the top 100 grossing films; dunno off hand
4) Worst Movie of the new Millenia with Budget over $50 Million: What was that one with Warren Beaty?
5) Worst "critically acclaimed" movie (Lost in Translation isn't bad for that category).

That sort of thing. Otherwise, you really want to ask what the worst movie ever was? Dang, there's low budget stuff out there that makes Troll 2 look like Die Hard 4.
 

peanutch

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eraserhead was awesome. If it wasn't for that, you wouldn't have the elephant man or twin peaks.
 

Kelethor

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Theodore Rex

It's a movie about Whoopie Goldberg and a Dinosaur fighting Crime.

Ill let your imagination do the rest.
 

OceanRunner

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CrazT said:
Transformers 2, because, for me, it reprosents everything I hate about modern cinema: a good idea placed in the hands of an incompetant director, too much CGI, very poor characters and plot, overuse of shakey-cam and the fact that it's a sequel to a film that wasn't very good in the first place!
And there's going to be a third :(
 

restoshammyman

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Berserker119 said:
The worst movie I've ever seen was Avatar. I fell asleep halfway through because I hated it so much. After that would be the Transformer movies, if you can really call them that. They were really just explosion montages. After that, would be The Dark Knight, with it's terrible acting.
i didnt like it too much myself. but its on the list of 250 best movies ever on IMDB dont remember what rank but its one of the first on the list.
 
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It is most definitely either Plan 9 From Outer Space or Recon 2032. Look them up, they're both on Netflix instant streaming. Word to the wise, though: If you look up the latter, don't do it where you family can see you, because about 10 minutes in, it turns into a 70s porno. I have absolutely no idea why. It just does. Seriously, look it up if you don't believe me.

EDIT: Wow, you guys have no idea what a bad movie is. Seriously, anyone who said something like "Transformers"....Look up Recon 2032. It makes Transformers look like The Godfather. With robots.
 

Dfskelleton

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In school, in 6th grade (6th!) we had to watch a horrendous movie called "The Buttercream Gang". It was a movie about 5 boys who make a club together and hang out while wearing no shirts and hugging. I wish I was kidding. I might be slightly exxagerating, but I definitely remember it being really gay.
Also, I don't care what anybody says, Avatar sucked. People say it's a big deal because of special effects, but I don't give a flying crap about special effects, unless they REALLY suck. I can not understand how heavily armed futuristic helicopters can be taken down by poorly armored and poorly dressed blue cat people.
Also, don't get me started on Twilight. I almost wanted to bite my arm off to make something interesting happen.
 

silversnake4133

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Twilight. I graduated high school already, I'd rather not go back to it when I want to escape reality by watching a movie. The books are terrible too. =_= Seriously, I couldn't even finish the first chapter because of two things:

1. Bella. Period.
2. Purple prose.
 

The Austin

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OceanRunner said:
Tron. It was soooooo boring!!!
BURN THE HERETIC!
BURN IT AT THE STAKE!

OP: Little Man Tate.
The movie is literally 2 hours of a little kid crying because he's SMART.

Most boring movie I have ever seen.