The Zombie Apocalypse Forum-Writ Survival Guide!

[The Potato Lord]

It had just occurred to me that being a Gamer,and in general a nerd I actually think about what I'd do in a Zombie apocalypse. That In mind I thought many other people must do the samething at one time or another so I figured we should collectively write a guide for the inevitable human-munching hordes.
Basically you just write an article on something relating to surviving against zombies and so we maintain consistancy assume the zombies are the virally-infected slow and uncurable type.
Possibilities are:
"Proper use of Tools against zombies" would cover the pros and cons of using a hammer or a crowbar against zombies and it's usefulness outside of combat.

it can be umorous or serious just remember a few things
1)Title your article so we know what you're talking about
2)You can write multiple articles if you wish, just keep each one isn't too long
3)Try to avoid doing repeats of a previously covered topic unless it was done horribly.

 

[xMacx]

http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Survival-Guide-Complete-Protection/dp/1400049628

I'll let the professionals handle it for me.

Or the BBC, for that matter:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A6875715

 

[[HD]Rob Inglis]

Dude, think about zombies all the time. I've got plans n shit falls it happens. They're not actually written, but I've gone over it enough in my head that I'm ready. I'll post again, when I've got something (more) useful.

 

[General Mostly Electrified Steel]

Oh, Potato Lord, you are such a spud.

But what sort of zombies we talkin' here? Crazy dark voodoo ones? Dawn of the Dead ones? Shambling, decomposing zombies? Speedy zombies?

Y'see, if it's the shamblers, I'm currently in a partnership with a friend of mine, and we're building a suspension cage deep in the mountains, where the shambling kinds can't reach. Sort of screwed if it's the speedy kind.

 

[UnderTheSea]

It's times like this that I'm glad I frequent Max Brooks' work on the matter.

 

[Surggical_Scar]

Being a Brit, obviously, I'll stumble around London, twatting the occasional zombie with my cricket bat, before everything going to pieces in the last ten minutes and all my mates getting eaten alive.

No...wait...

 

[The_Toe_Bighter98]

Maybe just get into a tank? Seems like no one ever actually thought of that... A whoopsie moment if there ever was one.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

Maybe just get into a tank? Seems like no one ever actually thought of that... A whoopsie moment if there ever was one.

Yeah, I mean there are just dozens of MBTs just lying around on the street corner.


But seriously, not a bad idea.

 

[Copter400]

For Australians, I'd suggest a little trip down to your local Bunning's (in your newly acquired, thank you Mr. Bighter, tank) to stock up on shovels, rebar, bricks, hoes, trolleys, hot dogs, etc.

 

[Fire Daemon]

For Australians, I'd suggest a little trip down to your local Bunning's (in your newly acquired, thank you Mr. Bighter, tank) to stock up on shovels, rebar, bricks, hoes, trolleys, hot dogs, etc.

Allready there mate. OH god no, all those workers who have that annoying habbit of talking to camera's are shambling towards me.

OH GOD THERE'S SO MANY OF THEM AND THEY ALL HAVE THOSE RED APRONS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.........

*runs into the little kiddies playground an holds them off at the door....*

 

[Anniko]

Pfft, the ultimate survival method is with a megablimp.

Really big blimp with a farm on board (wouldnt have to feed more than you) water filter (refilling from the ocean), solar panels, batteries and a whole lotta helium.

If you take a hunting or sniper rifle with you, you can fly over once populated areas and take potshots at zombies for fun.

 

[Knight Templar]

1- A crowbar is useful as it is powerful and can function as other than a weapon.
2- AK47's are a good gun to use as they are durable and accurate, if unavailable use a rifle for the same reason.
3- For attacking, move as two strike as one.
4- For defending, safety in numbers.
5- Unless you need to go somewhere or know of an evacuation plan, stay at home.
6- USA style schools are a good place to stay. Hospitals are not.
8- Cars make noise and get zombies attention, that's bad. Travel on foot.
9- Zombies sight: poor.
10- Zombies smell: superhuman.
11- Zombies hearing: superhuman.
12- Zombies speed: slow until target is within reach, then fast.
13- To kill a zombie: destroy the head or obliterate the body, pain blood loss= nothing.
14- Animals are rarely affected, but can be.
15- When searching a building: make noise and use light, the zombies will come to you anyway.
16- Zombies are stupid.
17- SG rounds work well with shotgun.
18- Hollow point rounds are the best ammo.
19- Walk light, run fast. (Don't carry much)
20- This is possibly the only time fire is not your friend

Ok I'm done.... for now.

 

[Fire Daemon]

20- This is possibly the only time fire is not your friend

Are you talking about me or the real fire. Cos the zombies didn't get to me and turn me into a brand mew form of super zombie with the ability to talk and stand up straight; oh no!

 

[John Galt]

I'm just going to quote Max Brooks on this one:

1. ORGANIZE BEFORE THEY RISE!
2. THEY FEEL NO FEAR, WHY SHOULD YOU?
3. USE YOUR HEAD: CUT OFF THEIRS.
4. BLADES DON'T NEED RELOADING.
5. IDEAL PROTECTION = TIGHT CLOTHES, SHORT HAIR.
6. GET UP THE STAIRCASE, THEN DESTROY IT.
7. GET OUT OF THE CAR, GET ONTO THE BIKE.
8. KEEP MOVING, KEEP LOW, KEEP QUIET, KEEP ALERT!
9. NO PLACE IS SAFE, ONLY SAFER.
10. THE ZOMBIE MAY BE GONE, BUT THE THREAT LIVES ON.

These are the Ten Commandments of fighting the undead.

20- This is possibly the only time fire is not your friend

Are you talking about me or the real fire. Cos the zombies didn't get to me and turn me into a brand mew form of super zombie with the ability to talk and stand up straight; oh no!

You could be Zombie Jesus, he could talk. Right now you're looking a little paler and more 'eat-your-face-for-brains' than normal.

 

[Kogarian]

If I was in a zombie attack, I would go somewhere cold, such as certain parts of Russian, Alaska, or Canada. Everyone knows frost damage of +5 damage will destroy the average zombie in a minute or two. You could also go to China, who will still have have overpopulation problems, and with most other people being zombies, the world's food surpluses will go down and China won't be able to import enough food to feed their people. With this, China will order their citizens to feed on the zombies for nourishment, proving to be an disgusting example of irony.

You could also go to Mongolia...I mean, does anyone hear any news come out of that place since the last time they ruled world? Seriously, zombies might just think 'Mongolia' is an urban myth.

You could also go to Africa or Hattii...they would have voodoo magic in place to stop the zombies.

 

[Kogarian]

Did you guys ever watch Red vs. Blue's episode on having a zombie plan? If you can find it on Youtube or something, it will provide you with the basics...plus its good for a laugh.

 

[BaronAsh]

Get semi truck get as much ammo, supplies, building materials and survivers as possible and head towards the most isolated spot I can to. (preferably Pennsylvania where there coal.)

 

[Archon]

One thing is clear: The end-time is 2012. If your zombie preparedness/asteroid apocalypse/financial meltdown/mass destruction defense plans aren't ready by then, game over.

 

[portuga-man]

get a boat, go to the middle of the sea. take a fishing rod, bait, a lighter, gasoline, and a slingshot.

go to mainland from time to time to get some supplies, find some survivors (mostly women, as one of your primary objectives will be to secure the continuity of the human race).

Zombies don't seem to attack each other. If you're really in a desperate situation, just start acting like one. They'll probably leave you be.