There is a Spider on your shoulder

[Woodsey]

Freak the fuck out.

 

[Dana22]

You cant get to brain from the ear. Thus, I would stare down that spider into submission.

 

[Realitycrash]

Remove it with the newspaper I am reading.

 

[ChocoFace]

cry like a little girl I flick it off my shoulder, then carefully place it outside the house to kill it with fire

 

[Lazy Kitty]

Pet it...

depends on the size
small: squash
medium (common household spider): brush off, pierce with pen or corkscrew
large (tarantula sized): brush it off, look at it with fear, overcome fear, trap it, keep it as a pet

Wait, what about giant spiders (Shelob sized)?

 

[Continuity]

Hi how are you........dont look..... there is a spider on your shoulder.
When you move it will run to your ear and eat your brains (i think).
What do you do?
Think quickly, if you think to long the spider will become mad and it will eat one of your vital organs.

Oddly enough there was a spider on my shoulder, a tiny speck of a thing suspended on a web filament... even so I'm suitably spooked ^^

 

[tzimize]

The sheer terror from me is enough to make it spontaneously combust, then I die from fright and stress.

 

[joshuaayt]

I looked at my shoulder just now.

Uhm... I freak the fuck out, when it comes to spiders. That time I found one on my bed I actually cried.

So, bright side- spider wouldn't have time to make it to my brain, with my random flailing.
Of course, I'll then take an hour to snap out of hysteria.

 

[Alon Shechter]

Carefully pick up the camera and photograph the rare moment!
Then catch it and HOOPLA, I have a new pet!

 

[TAGM]

Wait, you THINK it's going to go and eat my brains?

Eh, take the risk. get a piece of paper, grab it while it's charging towards my ear with said paper, cover him with... something, then toss him outside.

You know, what I do with every spider.

 

[Girl With One Eye]

Scream, shake and swat at my shoulder.

Then die of a heart attack.

 

[Razorin Faust]

1)Turn head
2) Say " What are you doing here Sirene"
3) Put my tarantula back in her terrarium.

 

[nuba km]

step 1: panic
step 2: ????
step 3: profit!

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Run head-first into my furnace.

Spider gone.

 

[SpaceSpork]

Epic battle. We both die. Humanity and spidanity realize at the same time that they can live in peace. Me and the spider are accepted into heaven.

 

[Hlain]

Since I'm probably in Sweden, the spider won't be bigger than an inch or so at most. I can flick it away with no trouble.
Were I abroad, I'd run away screaming, hoping the spider would pity me too much to attack.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

If it's truly the evil cunning spider, I just stay calm, brush it off or pick it up before releasing it. Killing spiders ain't cool.

 

[TheTaco007]

Cover my ears, and then shake like a dog.

 

[Jonluw]

Brush it off. Then go and put it in the appropriate forum section.

 

[spartan1077]

He wants to eat my brain? Well, I'll just disconnect my brain so he won't eat it! Your move sfishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh