There's a girl... that old chestnut

[artanis_neravar]

okay okay, guys i've decided to do it, i just want to give myself the best possible chance, so anyne who has tried something whether it worked or not let me know 'cause seriously she means everything to me, and i have to get this right, if i get thisone moment right then it'll be smooth sailing from here on out

Wow a quadruple post, never seen that before. I would suggest doing it in person, try planning out what you are going to say before hand, and prepare yourself for a know (if you are prepared for a no, if she does say no you will be ready and it won't be such a shock or let down, and if she says yes, then you will be visually excited and happy, and that would be a good thing for her to see)

 

[sparten042]

okay,
#1 hobo steve
it's not really as simple as you probably think it is, it wasn't just "point and click" oh she's going out with somehow else, i guess i can wait, but i wont bore you with that as you obviously dont seem as sympathetic as some of the other people on this post.

#2 donnyp
we're at the stage now where she's over the guy and she wont really think much of him anymore.

#3Gxas
this seems like it could work and i had already thought about something like this, and don't worry i'll be sure to post on here what happened, good... or bad

#4 gottesstrafe and kaytastraphe
the friend zone was one of my biggest fears from the start, so what do you think is the perfect time to ask, days? weeks? hours?

 

[thelonewolf266]

Quadruple post wow that's impressive

 

[Gxas]

the friend zone was one of my biggest fears from the start, so what do you think is the perfect time to ask, days? weeks? hours?

Seriously, from experience, I can tell you that the friend zone hurts for a while, but if she really means that much to you, it is totally worth it to be there for her whenever she needs it. It's what I've been working on for the past three or so months. I lost the love of my life and don't think I can ever get her back. Now? I don't know if I even want her back. She's changed so much in these few short months. But I still want her to be happy, I still care that she's alright, and I'll do anything to make sure she is.

Overall, what I've found is that friendships are much more important than romantic relationships.

Also, in case things turn bad, remember this

It's not about forcing happiness; it's about not letting sadness win

Head up, no matter the outcome. You'll be a stronger person either way.

 

[sparten042]

Well what was your plan the first time around? And importantly what is your current relationship with the girl, as in, are you friends/good friends or do you just know her form school/work? (I have no idea how old you are so I'm covering everything)

well im only 16 or so, i have a good friendship with the girl and i believe it could happen, but like i said it just needs the right circumstances...

 

[Kaytastrophe]

okay,
#1 hobo steve
it's not really as simple as you probably think it is, it wasn't just "point and click" oh she's going out with somehow else, i guess i can wait, but i wont bore you with that as you obviously dont seem as sympathetic as some of the other people on this post.

#2 donnyp
we're at the stage now where she's over the guy and she wont really think much of him anymore.

#3Gxas
this seems like it could work and i had already thought about something like this, and don't worry i'll be sure to post on here what happened, good... or bad

#4 gottesstrafe and kaytastraphe
the friend zone was one of my biggest fears from the start, so what do you think is the perfect time to ask, days? weeks? hours?

why are you posting here? GO OUT AND ASK HER! Do you go to school with this girl? Work with her? Or is she just a friend? Why don't you try and see her tomorrow (or even tonight if you can) and ask her out to dinner and a movie (if there is an event you know she likes go for that) for saturday. Make sure your clear that you want to go out with her though. By that I mean make it something where the two of you spend time together alone getting to know one another(i.e. not paintball). However, if she seems busy or you know she can't do it this weekend don't bother with it, wait until sunday or so to make plans for the following weekend. Ultimately there is no right time to say it, just go and do it when you feel ready. I tried waiting for a right moment to ask my current g/f out and when I was finally ready to do it she wasn't coming to class; so by the time I was ready she wasn't there. Honestly do it as soon as you can so that you don't miss the opportunity. You can do it dude... a little confidence goes a long way (and if your not confident just fake it)

 

[ajemas]

Don't bother. These things always end up going terribly. Sure you might be happy for a little while if it works out, but you will eventually break up and it will suck. Just stay away from relationships and you can do away with all of that dramatic stuff.
Anyway, that's just my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt, if you please.

 

[sparten042]

the friend zone was one of my biggest fears from the start, so what do you think is the perfect time to ask, days? weeks? hours?

Seriously, from experience, I can tell you that the friend zone hurts for a while, but if she really means that much to you, it is totally worth it to be there for her whenever she needs it. It's what I've been working on for the past three or so months. I lost the love of my life and don't think I can ever get her back. Now? I don't know if I even want her back. She's changed so much in these few short months. But I still want her to be happy, I still care that she's alright, and I'll do anything to make sure she is.

Overall, what I've found is that friendships are much more important than romantic relationships.

Also, in case things turn bad, remember this

It's not about forcing happiness; it's about not letting sadness win

Head up, no matter the outcome. You'll be a stronger person either way.

you sir speak the truth and are a true inspiration i shall remember this and make sure i do whatever i can to make your help worth while and you're right anyone in this situation should do whatever they can for the person in question, even if they end up in the friend zone, that person still has emotions which, being in the position you are, can help sooth.

You can do it dude... a little confidence goes a long way (and if your not confident just fake it)

thanks, you're right i guess it's 50% luck 50% planning there's only so much you can do to help yourself out in this situation, and that line at the end what was feckin' hilarious at this point in time :L:L:L

 

[artanis_neravar]

Ask her out soon the friend zone is real and it sucks.
That's all I've got sorry.
Also this should probably be in the advice section.

The friend zone is just something made up by guys when a girl they have liked for a while rejects them, they just don't want to accept that she doesn't like him that way. If a girl sees you as a potential partner then that isn't going to change just because you are friends with her, yes she may focus her attention elsewhere or give up hope but those things that drew her attention to you in the first place will always be there. So that "I don't want to ruin our friendship" line stems from one of several possibilities, either she doesn't have any attraction to you and never has, she is scared that a relationship with you won't last, she is more attracted to someone else or she is legitimately worried that a relationship would change everything between you.

 

[Hussmann54]

Man up, stop pissing around and just go ask her.
Its not that difficult folks, and trust me, planning some big weird romantic fantasy of how to ask a girl out is just plain ol creepy.

Edit: When it comes to "romance" remember these words.

He who hesitates, masturbates.

I think that you just won the internet today, my good sir.

OT yea, seriously, dont think too hard, just do. Maybe you (or she) just needs to let some time pass, and thats okay. Maybe she is ready to move on now, who knows. Point is, hobo steve is right in that doing is better than thinking much more than we give it credit for.

 

[Mechsoap]

Man up, stop pissing around and just go ask her.
Its not that difficult folks, and trust me, planning some big weird romantic fantasy of how to ask a girl out is just plain ol creepy.

Edit: When it comes to "romance" remember these words.

He who hesitates, masturbates.

Wow... That quote... It shall be my new motto in life!

OT: Ask her out, and don't hesitate, as this wise hobo has taught us.

 

[Detective Prince]

Go and ask her or my cat will come round and sit on your face in your sleep...My cat weighs a stone and a half...So go.

 

[FieryTrainwreck]

The friend zone is just something made up by guys when a girl they have liked for a while rejects them, they just don't want to accept that she doesn't like him that way. If a girl sees you as a potential partner then that isn't going to change just because you are friends with her, yes she may focus her attention elsewhere or give up hope but those things that drew her attention to you in the first place will always be there. So that "I don't want to ruin our friendship" line stems from one of several possibilities, either she doesn't have any attraction to you and never has, she is scared that a relationship with you won't last, she is more attracted to someone else or she is legitimately worried that a relationship would change everything between you.

You just denied the existence of "the friend zone"... and then immediately explained what it is.

 

[sparten042]

i can see your point of view and am already thinking that way, the reason i take 20 minutes to reply is because i've just refreshed my self; i.e. shower, shit and a shave, ready for tomorrow, which is when i will ask her!

 

[Kesimir]

I prefer chest nuts, very sexy and alluring. and no chance of getting pregnant.

 

[sparten042]

one other thing should i tell her i've liked her for as long as i have or shall i just midfy it a little bit ?

 

[artanis_neravar]

The friend zone is just something made up by guys when a girl they have liked for a while rejects them, they just don't want to accept that she doesn't like him that way. If a girl sees you as a potential partner then that isn't going to change just because you are friends with her, yes she may focus her attention elsewhere or give up hope but those things that drew her attention to you in the first place will always be there. So that "I don't want to ruin our friendship" line stems from one of several possibilities, either she doesn't have any attraction to you and never has, she is scared that a relationship with you won't last, she is more attracted to someone else or she is legitimately worried that a relationship would change everything between you.

You just denied the existence of "the friend zone"... and then immediately explained what it is.

I am not denying the existence of being friends with a girl I am denying the idea that timing of when you ask a girl out has nothing to do with her feelings towards you.

 

[sparten042]

also should i tell her that i've liked her for the length of time i have or does it seem creepy?

 

[NightHawk21]

Man, damn it I spent like the better part of half and hour trying to find you this picture that had a quote on it and if I see it I'll post it later, but the last two lines of the quote went something like:
"If you hesitate, you're not worth it. If she says no, she's not worth it."

Mind you those lines followed something else, but it was such a fitting quote.

Still I'll leave this here
http://wallbase.cc/wallpaper/309456

Sorry I couldn't embed it for some reason.

 

[artanis_neravar]

one other thing should i tell her i've liked her for as long as i have or shall i just midfy it a little bit ?

That's a little difficult to answer
On the one hand I don't think it would hurt to tell her, and it might be endearing for her to hear it
on the other hand she might find the original shyness a turn off and not telling her, and haing her find out latter doesn't seem like a big deal to me.

You know what type of girl she is which do you think fits her best?