Things Games Have Taught You.
- Thread starter Auron555
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If I die, I can just talk to an angel and come back to life, but everything I'm wearing gets a bit damaged.
You can fit 4800 arrows in a quiver.
You can fit 4800 arrows in a quiver.
Being lit on fire for about 10 seconds and then jumping in water will do no permanent damage to you, even though it should probably have killed you. (TF2)
Online games have taught me that there is an infinite number of retards on the Internet harassing other players, and wading through all them to find real friends (whether they be team friends or just chat friends) is next to impossible.
Let me see:
Trees are the strongest objects in the universe.
No-one ever drives with their door locked, no matter how rough the neighbourhood
Enemy commanders never learn to avoid the one that has slaughtered thousands, and consider it a good challenge.
Jill sandwiches are not what you think they are.
Trees are the strongest objects in the universe.
No-one ever drives with their door locked, no matter how rough the neighbourhood
Enemy commanders never learn to avoid the one that has slaughtered thousands, and consider it a good challenge.
Jill sandwiches are not what you think they are.
1. although master chiefs armor weighs several tons... when he dies he floats in the water
2. You can be crouched indefinatly with no painful side effects
3. your weapon never jams
4. grenades are always underwhelmingly ineffective
5. you can use any gun/vehicle without training
6. using alien technology is easy
7. mounted weapons never run out of ammo
8. every human bodey holds 16 gallons of blood
9. snow does not impede movement
10. you either know how to swim... or you sink like a rock off a bottomless underwater cliff
11. assassins do not know how to swim
12. killing people at point blank range will not cover you in blood
13. your aim is better than every enemy in champaigne
14. bullets destroy everything
15. whatever bullets don't destroy explosives will
16. whaterever explosives don't destroy... you need to pull a lever
17. you run faster with a knife
18. zombie apoclypses happen every other weekend
19. eat all food on the ground
20. any woman can be impressed with feats of violence
21. there is no such thing as small boobs
22. any character that goes missing halfway through a game is not dead or is the main villan
23. you need the blue key... always
2. You can be crouched indefinatly with no painful side effects
3. your weapon never jams
4. grenades are always underwhelmingly ineffective
5. you can use any gun/vehicle without training
6. using alien technology is easy
7. mounted weapons never run out of ammo
8. every human bodey holds 16 gallons of blood
9. snow does not impede movement
10. you either know how to swim... or you sink like a rock off a bottomless underwater cliff
11. assassins do not know how to swim
12. killing people at point blank range will not cover you in blood
13. your aim is better than every enemy in champaigne
14. bullets destroy everything
15. whatever bullets don't destroy explosives will
16. whaterever explosives don't destroy... you need to pull a lever
17. you run faster with a knife
18. zombie apoclypses happen every other weekend
19. eat all food on the ground
20. any woman can be impressed with feats of violence
21. there is no such thing as small boobs
22. any character that goes missing halfway through a game is not dead or is the main villan
23. you need the blue key... always
Always shoot any corpses you see on the ground for the second part of the game.
Broken vending machines dispense grenades.
Cancer can be your friend.
looking at a picture tells you the weaknesses of the people in the picture.
(all from Bioshock)
Broken vending machines dispense grenades.
Cancer can be your friend.
looking at a picture tells you the weaknesses of the people in the picture.
(all from Bioshock)
When does that come up? I don't remember that.solar fury post=9.68210.626093 said:
Some of mine:
-In order to be a revered war hero, you must be around the same strength level as a random farmboy and the cavalcade of teenaged losers that he carts around in some barely-motivated quest to bring down the government. That way, when you join his cause, everything will stay balanced and the invisible voice in his head will be incredibly disappointed with you.
To make up for this, you must be able to increase your power thirtyfold in pre-rendered cutscenes so the aforementioned farmboy will become extremely excited to have you along, thereby increasing his disappointment. (Every RPG ever)
*phew*
-The least-sharp, dullest, most improbably heavy weapon in existence is the only hope for defeating a legion of people with defective circulatory systems (Kingdom Hearts)
-Slayer is an awesome band. However, they can't get more than 40% of the way through their songs without screwing up so badly that they just give up and stop the show. (Guitar Hero III)
-Bruce Dickinson sings like his scrotum is in a vise. (Guitar Hero II and Rock Band)
-The incredibly rare Elvish drink Miruvor, which completely restores the user's vitality in a single sip, can be found in literally dozens of bottles across the floors of the Mines of Moria. It is there in such a large quantity that one can literally clear the entire area using nothing but the most taxing magic available. (LotR: The Fellowship of the Ring for the PS2)
Always shoot your friends in the back, just in case they're really a spy in disguise. (Team Fortress 2)
If you've almost had your throat ripped out by a persons teeth, all you have to do is chug a few bottles of orange juice and you'll be fine. (Dead Rising)
If there is a person on the ground, shoot them. They might be a bad person just pretending to be dead. (Bioshock)
If a nuclear missile is about to detonate near you, relax. You only have to be a few feet away and it won't kill you. (Starcraft)
If you are critically wounded, all you have to do is step on a first aid kit and you'll be fine. (...Pretty much any FPS before 2002)
Explore every single house, mine shaft, and abandoned building, just in case there might be useful nick-nacks in there. (Oblivion...or almost every other adventure game ever)
If you've almost had your throat ripped out by a persons teeth, all you have to do is chug a few bottles of orange juice and you'll be fine. (Dead Rising)
If there is a person on the ground, shoot them. They might be a bad person just pretending to be dead. (Bioshock)
If a nuclear missile is about to detonate near you, relax. You only have to be a few feet away and it won't kill you. (Starcraft)
If you are critically wounded, all you have to do is step on a first aid kit and you'll be fine. (...Pretty much any FPS before 2002)
Explore every single house, mine shaft, and abandoned building, just in case there might be useful nick-nacks in there. (Oblivion...or almost every other adventure game ever)
As long as one takes cover every once in a while, one can take a near infinite amount of damage (does not apply if one is carrying a crowbar).
Be carefull when looking in your pockets while in parks (AitD).
You can learn Japanese in one minute by picking up a certain book, but forget it when you drop the book (Dead Rising).
Don't worry, you can't light your friends on fire (TF2).
You can be your own worst enemy (LoZ, SotN).
Evil villians will destroy the world for the sole purpose of being evil (almost any game).
Never drink out of fountains (Nethack).
People won't take notice until you kill at least two friends (Halo).
If you inexplicably become invincible, your pupils disappear (Doom).
The bigger your sword is, the bigger villian/hero you are (any RPG).
If you mess up, you can always try again (Braid, PoP)
Be carefull when looking in your pockets while in parks (AitD).
You can learn Japanese in one minute by picking up a certain book, but forget it when you drop the book (Dead Rising).
Don't worry, you can't light your friends on fire (TF2).
You can be your own worst enemy (LoZ, SotN).
Evil villians will destroy the world for the sole purpose of being evil (almost any game).
Never drink out of fountains (Nethack).
People won't take notice until you kill at least two friends (Halo).
If you inexplicably become invincible, your pupils disappear (Doom).
The bigger your sword is, the bigger villian/hero you are (any RPG).
If you mess up, you can always try again (Braid, PoP)
