Things that Hollywood have taught us.
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This. In fact, this entire thread. Pure endless hilarity.MaVeN1337 said:
On topic:
Whenever something devastatingly bad happens (alien/demon invasion, famine, super-duper plague), it always happens in famous major cities. Whenever something insignificant happens however (serial killer on the loose, local animals made stronger and deadlier with SCIENCE!) it always happens in Buttfuck, Nowhere.
If you are essential to the plot it will always only be a flesh wound. Always.
Sex is either a magical experience between soulmates or a debauched perversion of all that is righteous.
Spacecraft operate either like they're on an ocean or in a World War II dogfight.
Any significant advances beyond the current level of technology cause incredible damage to human society and the only safe thing to do is destroy it completely.
Also,
ROW ROW FIGHT DA POWAH!Dirty Apple said:
Well, to be fair, this actually works to a certain degree for some people, like Felicia Day. I believe she's in her early 30's, but she looks 18-21.Hudson_sir_he said:
Every major event will happen to a small group of individuals. Hell, every main event only happens to the main character as is directly influenced by his foe.
I am talking civil wars, assassinations, random freak natural occurrences, swaying of political allegiances.
Not to mention no matter how fast the main character moves, the bad guy will beat him there.
Unless he is setting up a trap.
I am talking civil wars, assassinations, random freak natural occurrences, swaying of political allegiances.
Not to mention no matter how fast the main character moves, the bad guy will beat him there.
Unless he is setting up a trap.
That no matter how good the writer's vision/script is, directors and producers will strip it of all it's originality and turn it into bland, mass-produced, braindead mush for the masses. Oh, and that if you fork out £10 for a brand new DVD of one of their films then you have to sit through an unskippable 5 minute lecture where you get called a pirate and a thief for having bought their product legitimately.
*rant over*
Err, on a lighter note, Hollywood has taught us that if you're two weeks away from retirement shut up about it or you will die.
*rant over*
Err, on a lighter note, Hollywood has taught us that if you're two weeks away from retirement shut up about it or you will die.
Inversely every girl ever will have a bobby pin tucked behind her (usually right) ear.Kermi said:
The protagonist will allways find out what the evil plan is moments before the plan can be put into action.
All villains believe that their doomsday rocket/evil plan needs a countdown timer and that they should have a self destruct mechanism in their base.
Also, if you get shot by James Bond you will only be shot in the stomach, you will not bleed, but his silenced PPk and the snub 9mm he is firing will kill you in a comic gut grabbing fashion. Same works for being shot by Clint dressed as a cow boy.
Oh, Italians can play every race (including the irish) except for the American cowboy.
No one in a zombie apocalypse has ever seen a zombie movie, never goes to the hospital after being bit just decides to "sleep it off" with a bandage on it, and no one but the lead will think its a good idea to shoot the infected person. Then they will wait till that person has an agonizing death and comes back as a zombie.
Also no matter what rules you established in the first movie, they do not count in the sequels (resident evil! First movie you had to destroy the brain or sever the head. Following movies their were headless zombies)
No one will survive a zombie apocalypse but you. and thats only if you worked for the company that started it, your were a loser and a no body before the apocalypse, or your Shaun.
Your car will always fail to start (no matter how new or high tech) when being chased.
Zombie will lightly tap on glass windows when you are in a mall, but will break threw doors, walls, and knock cars over when they can't see that you are in them.
People will point a gun at you (if you have a gun) and demand you prove that you are not one of them (besides the fact that you are not pale/have your face eaten off) to which you will probably have your gun pointed at them and say something witty. After that you will team up, will take the gun from an individual you meet who is abusing the privilege of having a gun, but you will give him a weapon or another gun with in 45 minutes.
One of your friends will always be hiding a bite.
Don't worry, you will survive if you have a stupid plan that involves trying to find your family.
No one calls them zombies.
Guns are better than melee weapons, bullets grow on trees, and the bad ass will have a last stand that makes every one else look like a ***** for going down under one zombie as he successfully holds the hallway single handedly against waves of the bastards. Oh yeah, instead of giving you his guns to help the cause, he takes them and your extra ammo down with him.
their are 6 billion people in the world. But no matter where you go you will run into familiar zombies.
Zombies can stop cars by crowding them.
Also no matter what rules you established in the first movie, they do not count in the sequels (resident evil! First movie you had to destroy the brain or sever the head. Following movies their were headless zombies)
No one will survive a zombie apocalypse but you. and thats only if you worked for the company that started it, your were a loser and a no body before the apocalypse, or your Shaun.
Your car will always fail to start (no matter how new or high tech) when being chased.
Zombie will lightly tap on glass windows when you are in a mall, but will break threw doors, walls, and knock cars over when they can't see that you are in them.
People will point a gun at you (if you have a gun) and demand you prove that you are not one of them (besides the fact that you are not pale/have your face eaten off) to which you will probably have your gun pointed at them and say something witty. After that you will team up, will take the gun from an individual you meet who is abusing the privilege of having a gun, but you will give him a weapon or another gun with in 45 minutes.
One of your friends will always be hiding a bite.
Don't worry, you will survive if you have a stupid plan that involves trying to find your family.
No one calls them zombies.
Guns are better than melee weapons, bullets grow on trees, and the bad ass will have a last stand that makes every one else look like a ***** for going down under one zombie as he successfully holds the hallway single handedly against waves of the bastards. Oh yeah, instead of giving you his guns to help the cause, he takes them and your extra ammo down with him.
their are 6 billion people in the world. But no matter where you go you will run into familiar zombies.
Zombies can stop cars by crowding them.
People never ever use a mouse.
Seriously, when I use a computer it is at least 60% work clicking.
In Movies, they always type everything, really fast.
Also police cars are good cover against machine gun fire.
I hope that misconception has not ended any lives in the real world...
edit: Darn, been ninjad to the mouse-thing.
I´m glad it has been noted, though!
Seriously, when I use a computer it is at least 60% work clicking.
In Movies, they always type everything, really fast.
Also police cars are good cover against machine gun fire.
I hope that misconception has not ended any lives in the real world...
edit: Darn, been ninjad to the mouse-thing.
I´m glad it has been noted, though!
Every single woman is a black belt in Taekwondo and Karate.
Every punch thrown is an easily blocked hook or haymaker, followed swiftly by a punch to the gut.
A bullet in the leg or shouldor isn't a crippling injury that incapacitates the hero-he grimaces, flicks the bullet out with a knife and is perfectly fine.
A 70 year old asian man can easily defeat any fighter you pit him against.
The video game scores the characters mention are on the screen and the ones shown on screen are never the same.
Super villains have an amazingly well stocked human resources department.
The human resources department can't aim for shit.
An enemy would much rather throw away his gun and pull a knife or go unarmed combat on the hero rather than kill him with the gun.
Villains are required to tell the hero their plans so he can foil them, rather than leave him in the dark with no idea what he has to stop them from doing.
Corny one liners are mandatory.
Every punch thrown is an easily blocked hook or haymaker, followed swiftly by a punch to the gut.
A bullet in the leg or shouldor isn't a crippling injury that incapacitates the hero-he grimaces, flicks the bullet out with a knife and is perfectly fine.
A 70 year old asian man can easily defeat any fighter you pit him against.
The video game scores the characters mention are on the screen and the ones shown on screen are never the same.
Super villains have an amazingly well stocked human resources department.
The human resources department can't aim for shit.
An enemy would much rather throw away his gun and pull a knife or go unarmed combat on the hero rather than kill him with the gun.
Villains are required to tell the hero their plans so he can foil them, rather than leave him in the dark with no idea what he has to stop them from doing.
Corny one liners are mandatory.
