Things you found out about your parents that shocked you

[CrazyCapnMorgan]

I grew up thinking my Mom and Dad were my parents. Turns out, that was only half true - my ma is my biological mother, but my Dad wasn't. I was told at the age of 16 that my biological father chose his drug of choice (cocaine) over me. I was also given the option of finding him, which I did ten years later after finishing a tour in Iraq.

The really shocking part was talking to my biological father about the whole drug thing - he did cocaine...my mother did everything else; a tale confirmed by my mother when I confronted her with it. Which might explain how I was born a left-hander from two right-handed parents.

P.S. I still call my step-dad "Dad" as he's the only father figure I've ever known, and a damn better role model than my biological father.

 

[teqrevisited]

Before I was born my dad and our first neighbour used to work as security for the local night clubs and pubs. From what they've said my dad's supposedly put at least 3 people through windows. One through the front of a chip shop, one down a half-flight of stairs and through the bottom of a door and another through a bay window.

He turned up to his English GCE exam, sat down and wrote his name, handed the paper in and left to play a football match. He sat his Maths & Science papers and disregarded the rest. During his mechanical engineering apprenticeship he was either directly or indirectly responsible for: an explosion that removed several of those thin ceiling tiles, putting a work colleague in a rumbler (A machine used to violently shake rust off of metal), putting someone in a container full of engine oil and welding people's boots to the floor when they themselves were busy welding.

Imagine these tales of mindless fuckery and flippant rule-breaking coming from a businessman who greatly resembles Agent Smith. I didn't truly believe them until I'd spoken to the people he used to work with.

 

[FernandoV]

I grew up thinking my Mom and Dad were my parents. Turns out, that was only half true - my ma is my biological mother, but my Dad wasn't. I was told at the age of 16 that my biological father chose his drug of choice (cocaine) over me. I was also given the option of finding him, which I did ten years later after finishing a tour in Iraq.

The really shocking part was talking to my biological father about the whole drug thing - he did cocaine...my mother did everything else; a tale confirmed by my mother when I confronted her with it. Which might explain how I was born a left-hander from two right-handed parents.

P.S. I still call my step-dad "Dad" as he's the only father figure I've ever known, and a damn better role model than my biological father.

That actually has nothing to do with your left handedness.

 

[Sh1nobu]

Amazed how nobody has posted this yet.

XKCD - ALWAYS relevant

 

[thespyisdead]

i think, the only thing that shocks me now, is the fact that the only vivid memory of my biological father i have, is him walking into the house drunk, and my uncle giving him a thorough beating(this was late at night, mind you).

another thing that shocks me, is that he never made any attempt to contact me after i left the country i was born in...

happy memories for the win!!!

 

[Lt._nefarious]

I found out my Dad has 3 girlfriends, one of which is married, at the moment and I also found out when using his computer he buys Viagra and is in to some really creepy shit... And I still love him...

 

[The Tibballs]

The only times I can think of are these 3 here:

Any time I got interested in a girl my mum would tell me to ask them if they Spit or swallow & then say that they don't really love you if they don't swallow. :/

Then there was the time she declared in the living room while my GF was there that getting cum up your nose burns. :/

And when I was like 16 or so, she told me that if I hadn't gotten laid my the time I was 18 she was going to pay for a hooker... :/

 

[A BigCup of Tea]

That my mum's a complete and utter slut!! every couple of weeks she sleeps with a new bloke, i'm ashamed to live with her (she also does dogging and shit like that(found that out through searches on google as we share the same laptop))

 

[Clearing the Eye]

My mother used to be a member of some local gay rights activist group. This shocked me, because I've heard her frequently express the opinion that all gay people should be imprisoned for life to stop them poisoning our society.

On the other hand, it shocked me when my father mentioned he thought all gay people should be executed and that no gay person has ever contributed anything to culture or society. I expected homophobia from my mother, because she hates everybody. However, my father is very into art and music, so this was fucking baffling to me.

Also, the time my dad got drunk and told me the reason my mother always treated me poorly was because she blamed me for having been born male. She hit menopause shortly after I was born and always wanted a daughter. Once he told me that, I finally understood why my mother made me wear dresses and gave me Barbie dolls for Christmas when I was a small child.

That's... Well that's an interesting spot to be in, lol.

 

[bandman232]

My Dad is a white American, my mom is Chinese from Taiwan. It shocked me to learn that when they went out for Chinese food, my mom used a fork and my dad used chop sticks. Dafuq? I use chopsticks all the time and I'm only half Chinese.

One of my best friends is Chinese and eats CHinese food with forks. When I asked him about this he simply said "It's easier". I found that rather amusing.

 

[Clearing the Eye]

That my mum's a complete and utter slut!! every couple of weeks she sleeps with a new bloke, i'm ashamed to live with her (she also does dogging and shit like that(found that out through searches on google as we share the same laptop))

You're ashamed to share a house with someone enjoying life? She likes sex and so, much like any hobby, tries to engage with it when possible. You'd have to be pretty damn shallow and prudish to hold it against someone if they like sex. Whack a rubber on the John and you've got two (or more) people having fun and feeling good, with no harm coming from it.

More power to your mum. I hope she gets all the sex she wants.

 

[loc978]

Something I found out at an early age... my dad was a pretty classic hippie through the 60s and 70s (though he was a young hippie in the 60s), has tried pretty much every drug under the sun, and only got hooked to the most harmless of them (which he now has a prescription for).

Oh yeah, he also studied to be a police officer in the 80s (the irony is palpable. Doubly so since I became a soldier and fought in a morally questionable indefensible war), and passed everything except the physical (scoliosis, allergies and asthma are disqualifiers... glad I didn't inherit any of those). Within those studies he was required to purchase and read a copy of the Anarchist's Cookbook. He still has it laying around, and it's how I learned to make napalm as a child.

 

[freakydan]

My parents, who aren't big drinkers, met in a bar. My dad asked my mom to dance, got about halfway through one song, then handed her off to his buddy while he went to dance with a giant stuffed chicken the house band used as a mascot.

Apparently, my parents broke up while dating and my mom ran off with a guy my dad hated just to spite him. My mom told me that one night while my dad out under the condition that I promise never to tell my dad, who is one of the most forgiving guys I know. He apparently still can't stand the idea of the guy dating her.

I recently learned that my grandma was a tomboy in school, and got in trouble once (while still in school) for whacking another kid over the head pretty hard with a book. When I asked her why she did it, she just shrugged and said "He was a dork." My dear, sweet, darling grandmother used to be a bully.

Oh, and my dear, late, scholarly grandfather, the smartest man I've ever known (a college professor, fluent in two languages other than his native English) was so drunk when he went to pick my grandmother up for their second date that he just walked down her street, knocking on every door and yelling her name until she came out to get him.

 

[Denamic]

I was an accident.

 

[Charli]

That both of my parents are extremely boring (I'm not kidding I've pressed for details many times)

And both of their parents are utter assholes. (Except my father's mother who is only married and controlled by an asshole)


That's pretty much it.

 

[CrazyCapnMorgan]

I grew up thinking my Mom and Dad were my parents. Turns out, that was only half true - my ma is my biological mother, but my Dad wasn't. I was told at the age of 16 that my biological father chose his drug of choice (cocaine) over me. I was also given the option of finding him, which I did ten years later after finishing a tour in Iraq.

The really shocking part was talking to my biological father about the whole drug thing - he did cocaine...my mother did everything else; a tale confirmed by my mother when I confronted her with it. Which might explain how I was born a left-hander from two right-handed parents.

P.S. I still call my step-dad "Dad" as he's the only father figure I've ever known, and a damn better role model than my biological father.

That actually has nothing to do with your left handedness.

Note the bolded text. Actually, since both of parents were righties, there was a less than 2% chance of me being a lefty. I'd like to think the combination of drugs helped that chance a little.

 

[Diddy_Mao]

Nothing about my patents really ever shocked me. Mainly because they never really tried to hide any of it. Finding out my kindly old grandfather spent his youth as a Chicago whisky runner during the prohibition was something of a shock I guess.

 

[A BigCup of Tea]

That my mum's a complete and utter slut!! every couple of weeks she sleeps with a new bloke, i'm ashamed to live with her (she also does dogging and shit like that(found that out through searches on google as we share the same laptop))

You're ashamed to share a house with someone enjoying life? She likes sex and so, much like any hobby, tries to engage with it when possible. You'd have to be pretty damn shallow and prudish to hold it against someone if they like sex. Whack a rubber on the John and you've got two (or more) people having fun and feeling good, with no harm coming from it.

More power to your mum. I hope she gets all the sex she wants.

NO no she doesn't enjoy the sex (well she probably does but this isn't the point i'm trying to make) she sleeps around and even worse is she does it with married men!

Captcha- cut and run, i'm trying too!!

 

[Poetic Nova]

Finding out a few years ago that my mom divorced my dad when I was 5 not just because of his alcoholism but also because he was a coke-head. I wonder why he had a brain aneurysm. Hmm....

Minus the aneurysm, same here but back then when I was 5. My dad even lied to me by saying he was clean when I was 14...
Haven't seen him ever since (luckily).

 

[FernandoV]

That my mum's a complete and utter slut!! every couple of weeks she sleeps with a new bloke, i'm ashamed to live with her (she also does dogging and shit like that(found that out through searches on google as we share the same laptop))

You're ashamed to share a house with someone enjoying life? She likes sex and so, much like any hobby, tries to engage with it when possible. You'd have to be pretty damn shallow and prudish to hold it against someone if they like sex. Whack a rubber on the John and you've got two (or more) people having fun and feeling good, with no harm coming from it.

More power to your mum. I hope she gets all the sex she wants.

NO no she doesn't enjoy the sex (well she probably does but this isn't the point i'm trying to make) she sleeps around and even worse is she does it with married men!

Captcha- cut and run, i'm trying too!!

She embraced her inner slut, good for her.