Things you wish movies would stop doing

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SoulIsTheGoal

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Nov 25, 2010
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Marowit said:
the obligatory gratuitous sex scene. Don't get me wrong, but I can't stand the absurd sex scenes that add nothing to the movie...Watchmen I have my eye squarely on you my friend.

It just cheapens the whole movie. It can be so much more enticing to not see what happens, than it is to see man-butt and boobs and be like, yup that's what's happening...

I guess it makes easier for the writers/director as you don't have to be subtle, but damn I just can't stand it in movies...it's usually when I take my pee-break to be honest.
Especially as in Watchmen the sex scene that matters is the one at the END OF THE BASTARD BOOK. (IE: A re-affirmation of humanity through physical and emotional closeness to another human being.)
A film without a romantic sub-plot would be nice. How about a film where a male and a female spend a lot of time together and end up close friends? That'd be nice.
 

Brawndo

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Jun 29, 2010
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Slow-motion stylized hand-to-hand combat a la 300 or Sin City. I hate that shit.
 

Denamic

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Aug 19, 2009
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#1 Beeping computers.
Beeping means it's broken.

#2 Scrolling code.
Any programmer would have gone insane or killed himself if the code constantly scrolled.

#3 Exploding consoles.
If a computer blew up the moment something happens, I'd have serious doubts about their safety regulations.
Also, I don't think computers needs explosives to function.
 

Caligulove

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Sep 25, 2008
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Stop using so much CGI- bring back models and stunts, combined with minimal CGI for the things you literally cannot do without professional stuntmen, model makers and pyrotechnics
 

ChaosStep

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Dec 28, 2007
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Remakes, 20 year overdue sequals and games>movie.
These are the 3 main flaws in cinema today and hollywood is responsible for all of them.
Also anything produced by anyone or by anyone who knows anyone responsible for Scary Movie.

Bruce Campbell told me it was our fault that these're so popular, because we're the fools paying to see them. This makes me feel bad.

Oh also, not directly within the movies but when something is remade and they re-release the original at full price just so it can have a little part on the cover mentioning the new one... seriously...

How many people do you reckon bought Inglorious Bastards thinking it was Inglorious Basterds without thinking "wait a minute... it's still in cinemas..."
 

Sn1P3r M98

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May 30, 2010
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Did you get all those from cracked.com, OP? It's okay though, because I got mine from there too!

http://www.cracked.com/article_18576_5-ridiculous-gun-myths-everyone-believes-thanks-to-movies.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_18862_6-deadly-injuries-you-think-youd-survive-thanks-to-movies.html
 

DustyDrB

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Jan 19, 2010
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My List:

-Two people fighting for a gun. The camera cuts to their faces as we hear a gunshot. We're supposed to think "Oh, no! Is our hero dead!!!". But no, it's always either the hero or the other hero who just walked in the room.

-The villain's big speech about his plan.

-The villain's acknowledgment of how cliche the big speech is, but then he goes into the speech anyway.

-Grunts with guns who can't hit anything. Stormtrooper Syndrome, I guess it would be called.

-Hero is shot in his heart. Only he wasn't shot, because his badge/memento of some sort stopped the bullet.

-The bomb ticks down to a second, or just a few seconds before it is disarmed.

Really, I hate 99% of all action movies because almost everything has been done to death. Exceptions are ones where the action actually takes skill (anything with Tony Jaa), ones that build up the characters enough so that I care about their story and whether they pull through, and ones that make the action so brilliantly over the top that you have to love it (Hot Fuzz)
 

ProfessorLayton

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Nov 6, 2008
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Robot Overlord said:
Being awful?
IDK, but movies now adays are just horrible compared to the 60-90s
How ignorant that statement is... nothing about old movies makes them inherently good and nothing about new movies makes them inherently bad. It's like saying "all music is terrible."

Nice to see that a lot of people read Cracked here... I'll say that I wish movies stopped completely explaining things. Not like in Halloween where it was basically just "Michael Myers kills people for no reason," but like in Manhattan where there were constant literary references and they didn't dwell on any of them. That's a nice contrast to Easy A where there were references to John Hughes movies and the Scarlett Letter and during the references they showed the clips they were referring to.
 

TheSolemnHypnotic

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Dec 12, 2010
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*Uncool kid gets thrown into world of coolness and inspire the cool people (the cool people always seem cheesy and generic)
*"Urban Kidz + White Teacher= success!"
*I'm *insert an age women THINK is old* and am not married. Boohoo. :(
*Movies where sidekicks are pretty useless. (They really try to make us think Ron and Hermoine matter :p)
*"Strong lead females" (They ALWAYS come off as b****y and don't get happy 'til they're laid)
*Anything w/ multiple children+food fights+first loves+someone w/ a weird pet+revenge on adults)
*Films where aforementioned "Strong Female" is upset that male lead didn't tell her he was *insert something really stupid to get upset about*
*Special law forces movie: "After that stunt you pulled you *blah, blah, blah* The next time something like this happens, your *ss is off the force!"
*FILMS BASED ON VIDEO GAMES!!!! >:O
 

Xanadu84

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Apr 9, 2008
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Blood on the lens.

Okay, when it's, say, Quentin Tarentino, and there is blood spurting everywhere to comical effect, and it gets that much more ridiculous when it breaks the fourth wall and has blood on the lens, it works. It's tongue in cheek. That's fine. Now, lets bring this into a totally serious war drama. Very serious, very dark. I'm reflecting on what being in this situation would actually be like. The movie is very real. It's beyond moving pictures, it's into just experiencing the story. A guy gets shot with an MG, and blood spatters on the lens. I blink. I think to my self, "Oh yes. There is a camera. Because this is just a movie. Those are actors. This didn't actually happen. This is simulating real events, but otherwise, it's all fake. Yawn". Very few things break suspension of disbelief more, while simultaneously adding nothing whatsoever.
 

DkLnBr

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Apr 2, 2009
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When a someone makes a movie, and its ending is pretty closed (ie loose ends are all tied up). Then someone comes along and undoes what the first movie did for the whole point of making a sequel (its not a movie, but the only one i can think of that did this is Force Unleashed II)

That and just about everything stated in this article --> http://www.cracked.com/article_18862_6-deadly-injuries-you-think-youd-survive-thanks-to-movies.html

Especially the part about explosions
 

Private Custard

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Dec 30, 2007
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Cars without 800+ horsepower CANNOT keep up with bikes in a straight line. Power/weight ratios make it fucking impossible.......Hollywood, stop this shit!


Oh, and while I remember. Driver, may I ask just how many fucking gears your car has?
 

101flyboy

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Jul 11, 2010
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Add some actual suspense to action movies instead of making them so completely predictable they are unwatchable.
 

Infinatex

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May 19, 2009
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Korenith said:
Featuring Nicholas Cage?
:O

I'm going to have to say over promoting bad movies to make people go see them! Not that I fall for that old trap, but many people do.
 

Kaboose the Moose

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Feb 15, 2009
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inFAMOUSCowZ said:
you got this from cracked
Got what from Cracked? They have mentioned the 'gratuitous cocking' and 'bullets explode everything' in an article called "Gun Myths that people believe are true", yes, but I am referring to things that irk me/make no sense in movies in general- not just gun related goofs.

And for the record I knew about both gun myths before even reading the article. Sadly though I did think silencers would actually work..turns out it doesn't :/

Lilani said:
I think you're forgetting the fact that they have a gun. I imagine if you turned around right now and somebody was standing there with a gun and they begin to threaten you, you would probably listen to what they have to say. And if you don't and they cock the gun to make their point, the knowledge that the gun wasn't prepared before does absolutely nothing for you at that point.
Well firstly, I never forget; especially if someone has a gun to my head. You are right though - that from person to person the reaction to being threatened by a man with a gun can differ, BUT, as said by someone else in this thread the people portrayed in these kinds of movies who find themselves in such life-threatening situations, are made out to be bad-ass maternal coitus indulging machines of death and often eat chaos for breakfast. These are no ordinary people, they are usually trained to feck shit up, so much so that at the end of the day shit looks like origami. My point is that if you threaten these kind of people (the generic action mold character in, oh, 99.99% of action movies) then you'll find that they will be paying very little attention to what the person with the gun is saying and more on the different ways to dislocate your distal humerus and insert it firmly in your gluteus maximus. Ergo the whole act of taunting the deceptively pacified protagonist with a lengthy speech to be puncutated by the cocking of the gun..is in the end..pointless. And frankly, suicidal or Hollywood would have you believe.

Additionally, as was mentioned before an article from Cracked also points to the futility in scenes where the gun is cocked in the last second for dramatic effect. The reason? Certain guns, such as the Beretta 92F are designed "so that pulling the trigger also cocks the hammer for you, to save you the extra step and the extra two seconds during which you could get shot". As well as "it's made so that it leaves the hammer cocked back in between shots (the reason is it makes the trigger a little easier to pull)". So that leads one to believe that cocking a gun that was fired seconds before..just de-cocks it. Fantastic news, if you were in the firing line.

Lilani said:
Personally I have never witnessed somebody getting their head bashed over, and nor have I done any research on the plausibility of it, but if something as petty as that can ruin your moviegoing experience, then you have my pity. Because if that bothers you, it means one of two things: either you don't care about enjoying the movie and are and are looking for any possible stretch of reality (because everything in every action movie MUST be 100% accurate), or you are just incapable of analyzing something as the sum of its parts.

And to answer your last question about things in movies irking me...I can't really think of any right now. I guess one, if it counts, would be major, MAJOR actors who...well, still get roles. See, since Tom Cruise is such a household name nowadays, I can't see one of his movies and think of him as whatever character he is trying to play. I think of him as Tom Cruise. His public life is so overbearing that I avoid films with him in it just because I know I'll never get taken in.
First things first, don't feel pity for me. People often start a counter-argument with that phrase so much so that it's beginning to loose it's meaning. Give pity to things that matter. This, this doesn't matter!

As for your argument:

I am glad that you haven't seen someone getting their head bashed over - being hit on the head can have fatal consequences at times but there is never a 100% certainty that you'll knock someone uncoincious. It is entirely possible that you'll either kill them, cause irreparable brain damage, or they'll walk away with a concussion while having other unpleasant symptoms gnaw at them till they get to a hospital. Even if the impact falls in the 'Goldilocks zone' where you can render a person unconscious there is no guarantee how long they will be incapacitated - it could be 5 minutes to 5 days.

Unfortunately this silly trope is portrayed quite often as an instant non-lethal alternative of taking care of someone in almost every genre of movies. I swear even Mr. Bean has knocked people unconscious.

The source of my irritation is not that I can't suspend my disbelief/turn part of my brain off. No, what annoys me is the cavalier attitude in which Hollywood depicts this trope. The implication here is that when someone wants someone "alive" or "taken out quietly for further interrogation" they resort to the trusty 'whack to the back of the head' routine..somehow as if we have an off-switch that can be be hit with precision all the fecking time, where there is no ill effects other than a headache and confusion. That they have the nerve to depict such a fatal act as harmless is the main sore point for me.

That's not how it works! Knocking someone unconscious with the assumption that it's safe (or a safer alternative) is not only wrong but what kind of message are you sending to the audience? It's dangerous and should not be attempted attempted under any circumstance! I wouldn't be upset with this trope at all if it didn't try to disguise itself as being a "non-lethal" take down option but that's exactly what they portray it as..all the bloody time.

The point if this is a petty complaint is a matter of opinion. Finding that the inclusion of polyester blend clothing in a period piece about the Civil War can ruin someone's movie experience to me is petty but perhaps not to you or someone who is passionate about said things. Finding that movies keep masquerading a potentially lethal tactic as a child's play maneuver somehow just irks me. I don't expect you to understand it nor do I need pity from the people who can't. I don't need movies to be 100% accurate, like I said in the OP I can suspend my disbelief if I chose to. However, movies in my book are not going to get away with trying to insult commonsense all the time. I can only find forgiveness in my heart so many times. Sure the sum is greater than all it's parts and I can appreciate that. However, must you always insult the intellect of your audience to do that? Especially if you are paying money to have your intelligence insulted?
 

MrJKapowey

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Oct 31, 2010
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Hmm, went to see an advance showing Quality test of a movie due to come out next year. It was so cliched I wanted to kill the main characters. Heres a few:

Little 'catholic-good-girl' who believes that murder is wrong and swore never to kill anyone; takes an AK74 (or something like that) and from the hip at around 10-20 meters opens fire with around 25-29 rounds (had a full magazine but one shot was fired at a helicopters searchlight). All of the heavily body armoured 'Coalition' (basically a stand in name for N. Korea - In one scene there was a badly painted over N.K. flag) troopers are killed in slow mo, jerking excessively from the impact and then fall ing dead.

Yes, thats right, a young (15) not especially outdoorsey girl picked up a full auto assault rifle, telekinetically and soundlessly turned the safety off (if the producers even remembered to put that in), from the hip fired all X number of rounds with unerring accuracy at 10-12 heavily armoured soldiers. All killed, most with head shots.

Next the girl is seen in one small sec long camera flash, dropping her gun and crying to show her being traumatised at this. Thats the only time we see that. There is also a similar 2 sec humanisation of the enemy, they go back to being faceless monsters minutes later.


Next up, We'll destroy this one bridge and CRIPPLE the enemy in the region. NO, IT WON'T!!! If they are organsied and well equiped, as all current evidence shows, then the gently sloping banks of the river would make for a great pontoon bridge location. There, epic final battle achieves moot!


Next is, 'we'll search where the hero is hiding and then go home...' two armoured cars and ten to fifteen soldiers are trundling down a street looking for three of the main chars. They pull up outside the house the chars are hiding in, not looking at ANY OTHER.


'We've been thinking small and sneaky, what if we go so big that it don't matter who sees us?'

This is to get an injured person out. Unfortunately this doesn't work when your country is under the iron grip of a heavily armed modern day foriegn power! They take a dump truck and are then chased by two FAVs (similar to the type used to destroy Scud trucks in the first Gulf War). No bullets hit them with any effect and they destroy the two cars and escape. Yay! *sarcasm*. Where were the thirty or so Hinds and Little Birds (I Know, strange) we saw earlier?

Also, for the final (questionably) epic scene they seem to have found a massive cache of RPGs, AKs, grenades and a machete. Where from?

Finally is the lack of viewed international response. They get a radio and listen to what seems to be BBC World News where they hear that:

'The coalition only wishes to redistribute 'Xs' resources to ensure an era of peace descends upon the region'. No 'The UN condemns the actions' I mean what the F*ck is the rest of the world doing?

Sorry if I've ruined the story for anyone but I had to get that off my chest.
 

Lilani

Sometimes known as CaitieLou
May 27, 2009
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Kaboose the Moose said:
I'm going to bed soon so I'm going to keep my response brief. Personally, I don't feel insulted at all whenever movies stretch reality a bit to fit their needs. I DO feel insulted, however, when they have to meander around and pull things out of their asses to explain their leaps in logic. It's as though they don't think I have the ability to use my imagination or inference.

It's when the pacing gets screwed up because they're trying to pander to "reality" that bothers me. Sure, in more dramatic or survival situations that "difficult" reality can enhance the moment, but sometimes action scenes flow much more smoothly if they just get right down to business. I mean, would Back to the Future have been any better if they took out all of the head-bashing that went on there and found ways for all of those characters to have tranquilizers and chloroform instead? That would have been hard in the old west for the third movie. Or if they had to change the tires every single time they caught on fire after hitting 88? Boy, that would have made for a riveting time.

I understand that addressing real physics can enhance the experience for some people, but I just don't feel it's necessary as long as it makes for a good ride. In the end this is all about our personal tastes, and I would like to thank you for giving me some more to think about the next time I go to the movies :) Good night.
 

Saulkar

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Seriously, my two biggest gripes are the lack of intellect of the writers mirrored onto the characters. Just watch the newest Die Hard and you will find out how much they know about computers, the internet, and jets.

Adding onto this, they consistently missrepresent almost every known subculture. Goths, emos, furries, cos players, metal heads, unusual sexual concepts, nerds, etc. A narrow list but it is allot broader than I can hope to write. Just read this...----> http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DidNotDoTheResearch