This game SUCKS! The complainer complains about minor mistakes in great games.

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SomeUnregPunk

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Jan 15, 2009
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More Fun To Compute said:
Rez HD
The first and most obvious problem with the game is that it really short. A reasonable player will be able to clear all of the areas in under 2 hours which is totally unacceptable in today's economic environment.
3/10
What's your highest score on pacifism?

/..../
Mass Effect.... I can beat this game with a rifle and consistent use of my allies as decoys until I get to the end where the boss always targets me. Why? None of the powers are of any use since I can use one gun to kill everything in this game. Other than the bosses and the giant worm thing everything else dies with one head shot. Why the hell does the space-jeep react the same way in space as it does on a planet with gravity? I fully expected to hit the jump jets and float across that caravan, not plummet to the bottom.

.... eh hyperbole gets annoying...
 

Icehearted

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Jul 14, 2009
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Mass Effect's areas were too empty! The worlds, the Citadel, nothing ever felt large or really occupied. Also the lock picking mini-game? I mean, c'mon fellas.
 

The Cheezy One

Christian. Take that from me.
Dec 13, 2008
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mine is the search bar level of "the escapist"
i made a thread of this myself a few weeks ago
 

Samurai Goomba

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Half-Life 2 is horrible. You hear me? It sucks!

"Sandtraps" is dull and overly long. Ravenholm is frustrating (with Headcrab closets and obnoxious running zombies) and boring visuals. The fun physics objects aren't nearly as practical to use as killing instruments as they should be, leaving me FORCED to choose between a crap pistol that does no damage, an SMG with terrible accuracy, and a crowbar. Yeah, that's right, those are the only 4 weapons in the ENTIRE game. As if you needed more proof that Valve are complete tossers.

Another complaint I have is the graphics. Half-Life 2 looks decent at best. Nothing like Bioshock, which looks much better. In the audio department, the Combine are kind of interesting to listen to, but Headcrabs sound like retarded parakeets and the NPC speak is always some form of "have a med-kit" or "Excuse me, sir."

In fact, I dock HL2 1,000 points for the simple reason that NPC allies can't stop trying to hump me. Seriously, it's like they all had their brains taken out and replaced with Cocker Spaniel ones. No, Mr. Soldier, I did NOT tell you to "heel."

Half-Life 2's terrible graphics (not at all like Assassin's Creed), mediocre sound (my word does Vance's VA suck) and terrible gameplay (You know, at least Super Mario Bros had a useful pistol) combine to create an unplayable mess which I wouldn't recommend to anyone. I award it a 1/10 and urge you all to not buy it. Play Duck Hunt instead.
 

Samurai Goomba

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delta4062 said:
Samurai Goomba said:
Half-Life 2 is horrible. You hear me? It sucks!

"Sandtraps" is dull and overly long. Ravenholm is frustrating (with Headcrab closets and obnoxious running zombies) and boring visuals. The fun physics objects aren't nearly as practical to use as killing instruments as they should be, leaving me FORCED to choose between a crap pistol that does no damage, an SMG with terrible accuracy, and a crowbar. Yeah, that's right, those are the only 4 weapons in the ENTIRE game. As if you needed more proof that Valve are complete tossers.

Another complaint I have is the graphics. Half-Life 2 looks decent at best. Nothing like Bioshock, which looks much better. In the audio department, the Combine are kind of interesting to listen to, but Headcrabs sound like retarded parakeets and the NPC speak is always some form of "have a med-kit" or "Excuse me, sir."

In fact, I dock HL2 1,000 points for the simple reason that NPC allies can't stop trying to hump me. Seriously, it's like they all had their brains taken out and replaced with Cocker Spaniel ones. No, Mr. Soldier, I did NOT tell you to "heel."

Half-Life 2's terrible graphics (not at all like Assassin's Creed), mediocre sound (my word does Vance's VA suck) and terrible gameplay (You know, at least Super Mario Bros had a useful pistol) combine to create an unplayable mess which I wouldn't recommend to anyone. I award it a 1/10 and urge you all to not buy it. Play Duck Hunt instead.
While I also have a passionate hate for Hl2, I'm going to have to brand you a retarded for the simple fact that you expect a game made in 2004 to look like a game in 2007.
Have a fail cookie. Made of 100%, all-natural fail. Part of this balanced fail diet.

He said hyperbole was fine. And anyways, you should know not to believe everything you read. Or even believe that the people who wrote it believed it. Especially in a topic about over-exaggerating little flaws.
 

The Rockerfly

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Dec 31, 2008
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Why the fuck does every shoot give you the ability to spit out bullets?
Seriously you can receive 5 shoots to the chest and spit them out then be fine

It's gay
GAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIII!!!!!1!!!11111!!1!1

*cough*

Oh and old games were always so much better, gm3s t0d4y suk hrd
lollolololololol

[small]Thanks, now I have to go kill myself[/small]
 

Kurokami

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tellmeimaninja said:
Oh. An angry reviewer. How original. *cough Zero Punctuation cough*
ZP isn't often angry, dissapointed maybe, but hell its hard not to be with most games. In any case who wants to read a positive review? =O
 

Daedalus1942

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delta4062 said:
Daedalus1942 said:
Cliff_m85 said:
So this thread is basically for you people to make your complaints known. Hyperbole is perfectly fine as you'll see with my review, but just let flow your own or perhaps even your first review. Mine is.....

"LEFT 4 DEAD"

Not very often does there come a zombie apocolypse game that truly startles and envigorates a community of gamers, Left 4 Dead is not one of those games. While Valve promised a zombie game, they developed another 'infection' storyline with super-fast running infected. Sorry Valve, but zombies stumble towards you slowly. They don't barrel at you. Not only that but Valve actually have the balls to call you stupid to your face.

You start the game as four individuals that are obviously immune from the 'infected' put in a room where you can choose one of three weapons that NEVER JAM and always have a gigantic pile of infinite ammunitation scattered around. Yeah, that makes sense in the zombie apocolypse (or 'infected apocolypse). Any group would just abandon a ton of ammo during that time. *rolls eyes*

You play as either the old war vet who is just as fast as the youngsters and keeps up with them as well, or the black guy who was included so Valve wouldn't be called racist, or the biker guy who hates almost everything in the game, or the attractive woman who is not much more. This was a brilliant chance for Valve to be daring and incorporating a challenge timed to the calendar setting on our Xbox's and computers. We all know that zombies/infected have a terrific sense of smell, so Valve could've made it that difficulty was based on what time of the month it was. But no, just like every other female character there must me no mention of 'Aunt Flo'.

Now for the special infected that ruin the game. The tank is actually a reasonable monster who is basically a overpowered smashing device. However shots to the face don't really register as well to this beast so that a full shotgun clip can fill it and it'll still be moving. Next would be the monster that has Valve laughing at how stupid you are. Yes, you. Because you thought of this and didn't say anything but I WILL. The Boomer is a retarded mass of crap. They actually warn you not to get hit with his bile because it attracts 'the horde', so you must push him away and shoot him. What happens when you shoot him? He explodes, which logically would send bile around the area no matter what as well as ooze near his dead corpse. But nope, you're perfectly safe after you blow him up. Sorry Valve, I guess you just expect us to understand that gas explosions would still allow for liquid to exist. The smoker is next, with a tongue that for some reason regenerates yet when shot to death cannot regenerate itself. Add that the tongue when wrapped around a survivor doesn't hold their arms forcably to their sides, which allows for the survivor to easily get away from the beast...yet they just squirm and die slowly. Followed lastly by the hunter, who can jump terrific distances even though it'd be impossible for our bodies in any condition to do such. Not to mention that the hunter won't even do the logical thing of ripping the eyes out of the survivor when it leaps upon them. No, it would rather just slightly claw at the shoulders instead.


So "Left 4 Dead", a game that was supposed to allow the many players around the world (except in Australia) to feel the reality of a zombie apocolypse falls flat to the rational people of the world who would actually like to know how we would stand up against the zombies. Valve, I understood you tried so I'm willing to give you a score of


3/10
TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLL (trying and failing to channel Yahtzee).
Can THAT many people on this site not know how to fucking read a thread title?
You are the Troll here, you fucking twat.
Have a fail cookie. Made of 100%, all-natural fail. Part of this balanced fail diet.

Also, you'll most likely get banned for that flame. Hilarious...
 

Beartrucci

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Cliff_m85 said:
Curtmiester said:
I think the idea of zombies has been changed so many times that they can almost anything. So saying they HAVE to stumble is reduntant.
May I make one about a zombie who has been undead for 100+ years and rather than eat humans he eats animals. He could also be in love with a teenager and sparkle out in the sunlight. ;)
Yeah sure go for it, I have a hunch that you will make a lot of money and will have a massive fan-base. But there's a couple catches:
Everyone not in the fanbase will hate you with a passion that burns like a raging fire.
You have to hand in all dignity before you start.

Enjoy! :D
 

JoshGod

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Aug 31, 2009
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my god who cares if they run and dont stumble i think ull probly like re5
i h8 it.(re5 i love l4d)
you cant move while shooting or reloading!!

EDIT:
POTATOE FIGHT!!!
 

MiracleOfSound

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Jan 3, 2009
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My review of Far Cry 2, Assasin's Creed and Prince of Persia, all in one:

Ahem.

5 minutes in: 'Oooh pretty graphics'

15 minutes in: 'um, gameplay is kinda boring though... and the combat sucks a fart from a donkeys ass'

1 hour in: 'fuck you, Ubisoft. Fuck you a hundred times over'

goes back to shop and reminisces for a time when Ubisoft made quality games.

Just in case I wasn't clear enough... FUCK UBISOFT.
 

Tactician42

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Jul 27, 2009
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Persona 4 about gave me an anuerysm. For the uninformed, at one point in the game your detective uncle takes you down to the station and won't believe your claims about "some world beyond the tv"......now if only you could demonstrate by say....sticking your hand in the tv in the interragation room........But no we just sit there and argue while the token adorable little girl gets kidnapped. Made more frustrating by the fact that at the very beginning of the game the same thing happens with your friends except you have enough brains to show them.
 

The Rockerfly

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miracleofsound said:
To you I would say this is the French's way of getting back at the Americans but we will end up derailing this thread *cough*

In Age Of The Empires, why does it only talk food and wood to make a solider? This makes it gay
gay gay gay gay gaaaaaaay
 

TelHybrid

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Ocarina of Time - the slooooooow speed of text dialogue. It irritates me so much. Can't even change the setting either.
 

GonzoGamer

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This can't be a serious review.
I'll agree that l4d was overrated but it wasn't that overrated.
You're really not supposed to be looking for realism in a B zombie mob game.
 

Fat Hippo

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The Rockerfly said:
miracleofsound said:
To you I would say this is the French's way of getting back at the Americans but we will end up derailing this thread *cough*

In Age Of The Empires, why does it only talk food and wood to make a solider? This makes it gay
gay gay gay gay gaaaaaaay
I'd like to see you get a woman pregnant without any wood. Okay, that was bad, I know.

Anyway, you know what game I hate? That's right: GTA IV

Seriously, a hamburger costs 1$, but a hot dog 5$! Ridiculous! And there's practically no motorcycles ANYWHERE. I want more goddamn motorcycles. Somebody should make a GTM: Grand Theft Motorcycle. You're a gangster in a parody of a modern metropolis, and steal shitloads of motorcycles. How awesome would that be!? Balls to the wall, precisely.

Also, you can't carry unlimited amounts of ammo anymore! What is up with that? I've got to go back and buy some more like every 50 missions, just cause there's an ammo limit. Totally unnecessary. And why do we have to play a man. I want to play a leather clad chick with a whip.

So, in summary, what GTA IV, SHOULD have been: A game about HOT LEATHER CLAD CHICK, who goes around with an UNLIMITED NUMBER OF WHIPS and STEALS MOTORCYCLES and the price of hamburgers and hot dogs is sensibly PROPORTIONATE. You let me down Rockstar, you really did.