Ask yourself a few questions. Which decision will make you happy. Which decision will lead to a better life. Which girl would make a better mate. Which girl can you intelligently conversation with better. Which girl makes you feel better about yourself. If you really care about your current girlfriend, you won't continue a relationship that you don't want (if you don't want it). It will hurt her a little, but prolonging a doomed relationship will only make the damage worse. Just my opinion.
This other girl...
- Thread starter JUMBO PALACE
- Start date
Recommended Videos
Slowly slip away, don't return her calls, and if you do say you have to go because your busy. When ever she sees you slip out and say that you have "important" business to attend to. And convince one of your mates to like her "behind" your back, get them working out then ditch while you still can?
Sigh that a sad story and while i can't make every things better and most of my advice has already been said i will chip in anyway.JUMBO PALACE said:
1. Take your time:How your feeling could be due to many different things take your time to decide your actions.
2.Do not cheat: this is the worst thing you could do at the moment,it's better to brake up with her then secretly going behind her back.
3.Find some one else who can surrport her: You can't be her only surrport, doing so put's much preasure on you as well as making leaving the relashionship impossible,find some one that can help as well, mabye get your parents involved and ask them to look after her.
4.We are here for you:if you ever need advice or are feeling stressed feel free to talk to me or any one else on the escapist ^_^.
if this is your/her first relationship odds are very slim it will continue much past her going off to college. like others have pointed between the ages of 17 to 23 or 24 people change rather drastically, and usually again between the ages of 24 to 34. and people always have the "wild oats" thing going on where they are going to mess around or just find someone else they consider better.
most of the guys that were 100% faithful to their gals back home in college ended up totally heartbroken to find out their true love was cheating like mad back home, or dumped utterly when their girls just decided it was time to switch to something new. and the girls i knew at college were running around doing whatever even when they had a bf back home or at another school.
course with her emotional problems if she is heavily co dependent then you need to tread carefully, she may drift off on her own or she may be fiercely needing you.
have you tried getting her to seek real professional help or told her parents the extent of her issues? i mean if she has severe emotional problems and has thought about hurting herself or others, you probably should encourage her to seek help with those problems, and even enlist her family and friends. these issues rarely just go away on their own wo some sort of counceling or therapy. and that is alot of emotional baggage to support over the long haul if this goes the distance, i mean 5 10 years of that can be exhausting and you already said there is quite a bit of strain on your relationship over the two years because of her issues.
bottom line you two are dating your not married you can date and she can date really, and if you have never been in any other relationship it is healthy to get out there and date a bit for both sides.
you know the girl better than we do tho so you need to weigh all your options, but you cannot feel like her health and sanity rests squarely on your shoulders, that is her responsibility as well, as well as her families. any relationship is a two way street, not a one way highway. i salute your dedication but wo her getting herself healthy is is unlikely anything will last any long stretch.
most of the guys that were 100% faithful to their gals back home in college ended up totally heartbroken to find out their true love was cheating like mad back home, or dumped utterly when their girls just decided it was time to switch to something new. and the girls i knew at college were running around doing whatever even when they had a bf back home or at another school.
course with her emotional problems if she is heavily co dependent then you need to tread carefully, she may drift off on her own or she may be fiercely needing you.
have you tried getting her to seek real professional help or told her parents the extent of her issues? i mean if she has severe emotional problems and has thought about hurting herself or others, you probably should encourage her to seek help with those problems, and even enlist her family and friends. these issues rarely just go away on their own wo some sort of counceling or therapy. and that is alot of emotional baggage to support over the long haul if this goes the distance, i mean 5 10 years of that can be exhausting and you already said there is quite a bit of strain on your relationship over the two years because of her issues.
bottom line you two are dating your not married you can date and she can date really, and if you have never been in any other relationship it is healthy to get out there and date a bit for both sides.
you know the girl better than we do tho so you need to weigh all your options, but you cannot feel like her health and sanity rests squarely on your shoulders, that is her responsibility as well, as well as her families. any relationship is a two way street, not a one way highway. i salute your dedication but wo her getting herself healthy is is unlikely anything will last any long stretch.
i met my man when i was 18, we've been together for 8 years and got married last month (hes the only man ive ever been with) and we are insanely happy. he is absolutely my best friend, still makes my toes curl and makes me laugh every day... so it can (for few) work out with your first love... BUT if your relationship is always strained and she has all these issues.. maybe you could consider a break? go about it in a very delicate way because it sounds like your current girl may go off the deep end at the drop of a hat... even if she has those issues though, she still doesnt deserve to be cheated on. NO ONE does. i say a break is the way to go so you can both figure out if you really want to be together or not.
if you're not happy, it's not worth holding on to.
if you're not happy, it's not worth holding on to.
Breaks don't work. They just don't. I tried that with my ex and she broke up with me a week later after 3 years of being together. What I would do to have her back is...unheard of. Shes already moved on though, and I'm left picking up the pieces.Sarahcidal said:
You have to do what you think is best. You have plenty of time to live, plenty of women to meet, and you can't live with regrets. I was in a really dark place not too long ago, and it took me a while to figure out that I have to keep living, keep breathing, pushing on, and now I'm doing far better. I'm, for the most part, happy again. Shes happy doing whatever it is shes doing, and we keep in contact now. If its meant to be, later in life, it'll happen, but right now...its all about me. This is my life and I have to live it the way I want.
Don't let someone else control your actions. Live for yourself.
Dude, I feel the exact same thing whenever I'm away from my girlfriend of 2 years, it's called human emotion.
Whenever I feel it, I always think of everything awesome that is my girlfriend and it always reassures me. I always remember what we have in comkmon and how I always feel around her and how much I would actually miss that. Try it and see what comes of it, hopefully it'll clear up any of your uncertainties and point you in the right direction, but hey, who knows.
Whenever I feel it, I always think of everything awesome that is my girlfriend and it always reassures me. I always remember what we have in comkmon and how I always feel around her and how much I would actually miss that. Try it and see what comes of it, hopefully it'll clear up any of your uncertainties and point you in the right direction, but hey, who knows.
She's putting YOU in charge of her mental health. Which is not right.
How would this situation feel if you didn't have to look after her head all the time?
I've been in this situation; having someone who relies entirely on you for their happiness starts to weather you. To the point where you WILL develop a kind of resentment for them.
How would this situation feel if you didn't have to look after her head all the time?
I've been in this situation; having someone who relies entirely on you for their happiness starts to weather you. To the point where you WILL develop a kind of resentment for them.
Ya after 2 years things get rather boring, then you add all her issues and the fact she is your first and it adds up to a whole lot of bad, it really does not seem to be healthy.
I personally would advise to end the relationship before it stretches too far, so you can both find better suited partners as soon as possible.
There will be plenty of "other girls", that is how you find the best match, by going after people you are more attracted to.
Before that tho you need to cut old ties, it seems a bit mean but some people just don't fit together and that hasto be made clear so you can both move on.
I personally would advise to end the relationship before it stretches too far, so you can both find better suited partners as soon as possible.
There will be plenty of "other girls", that is how you find the best match, by going after people you are more attracted to.
Before that tho you need to cut old ties, it seems a bit mean but some people just don't fit together and that hasto be made clear so you can both move on.
Well, if your current girlfriend does not make you happy. I'd go with the other. Lifes too short to be dragged down.
I had a girlfriend with exact same attributes. She drove me up a tree in the end and I was glad I ended it. Of course I didn't have the endurance you did, I ended it after 5 months.
Good luck with whatever you choose.
I had a girlfriend with exact same attributes. She drove me up a tree in the end and I was glad I ended it. Of course I didn't have the endurance you did, I ended it after 5 months.
Good luck with whatever you choose.
I will tell you now that 99% of relationships don't make the transition from High School to college. You simply mature and change too much over the course of that short time period, and you are not going to be the same person at 19 that you were at 17. You won't even recognize yourself.
That being said, don't let this girl bind you to her with some kind of suicide pact. Get her some help, be a friend and find a way to help her deal with her issues but do not feel like you have to stay with her to keep her from harming herself. You need to work for your own happiness at some point.
That being said, don't let this girl bind you to her with some kind of suicide pact. Get her some help, be a friend and find a way to help her deal with her issues but do not feel like you have to stay with her to keep her from harming herself. You need to work for your own happiness at some point.
I always feel sorry for my friend because he's been in a relationship for the past 3-4 years and the relationship looks as though its become more about coping with each other than enjoying each others company, on the other hand, this girl will likely have the same or different problems to the one you're currently with, all you'll be gaining is novelty in my opinion, but then I don't know either.JUMBO PALACE said:
You can break things off with her and still be on good terms, I'm sure. The fact that you're thinking about it probably tells you you may as well go for this other girl, but that's my opinion and I don't know either of you.
If your feeling this, then your relationship isn't going to last much longer. And if it does your not going to be happy. Don't do this yourself or your girlfriend.JUMBO PALACE said:
perhaps the break DID work.. they're to help both parties figure out if they want to be with eachother.. not to be rude, but maybe thats exactly what your break did?Mr.Pandah said:
I dont have much to say but two things.
End it.
Also you cant love this girl of you just want to get with another girl and complain about her problems on the internet. Thats not love.
I understand where your coming from so end it.
I just hate the way people use love. its much rarier then people think....
End it.
Also you cant love this girl of you just want to get with another girl and complain about her problems on the internet. Thats not love.
I understand where your coming from so end it.
I just hate the way people use love. its much rarier then people think....
Stay with her, unless your relationship falls apart for other reasons. I have never seen a case of someone leaving a girl for annother, where the second is not yet certain, go well. You will almost certainly come out badly.
I hate to sound superstitious, but judging from my circle of freinds and thier romantic movements, karma is a *****
I hate to sound superstitious, but judging from my circle of freinds and thier romantic movements, karma is a *****