Times you have put jerks in their place

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Vohn_exel

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Oct 24, 2008
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I'm not a very violent person, I've never been in a fight and most people like me so I don't get close to fights often. So...uh..I'll go with this! My brother was "surfing" on my desk when I was two or three and he wouldn't get off. I told him to get off my desk because it was mine, and he wouldn't, so I got a running start and pushed it over, which ending up breaking his arm. Thats about the closest I've probably ever come :p
 

Aloran

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Oct 9, 2008
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Never really had any issues with people like that.

The closest I've came was me avoiding getting in to a fight with a guy after I'd been a smart arse. Was my own fault and everything, I just managed to talk my way out of it.

However over the past few months I have noticed people have stopped being as twattish to me as they used to be... I think it's cause I'm no longer 6'2 and weigh 10 stone, but more like 11 and a half, it's surprising what being relatively bulkier will do.

Oh, and apparently I look like a psychopath when I stare at someone.

It's the eyes, all in the eyes :D
 

the protaginist

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Jul 4, 2008
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Hmm... I could talk about the time I gave a kid a concussion because he shot some girl with a sharpened pen cap for no fucking reason and made her bleed, but since we're on a gaming site, i might as well talk about something games related. I was walking to English with a friend, wearing my Child's Play T-shirt (the Penny Arcade Charity, not the Chuckie movie) when a guy, the kind of guy who thinks he could kick anyone's as cuz he can get an AC130 in t3h CODz and in this really condescending voice says "Child's Play charity: Gamers give back, Childsplaycharity.org" He was walking with some kid also under the catagory of the former, who decided that saying what was on the back of the shirt was funny and did that sneering type of laugh. They had never really bothered me before, but they have some of my friends, so I just said that what Child's Play does is a very important thing, more important anything they've ever done and probably ever will, so would they kindly fuck off? They didn't take to kindly to that, so they ask what the fuck I said to them. I ignore them and walk off. 15 minutes later, we're in class before the teacher came in, so he's up front talking with the other druggie douchenozzle in the class about, of course, call of duty. He sees me and says what he said earlier in the same condesending tone, joined in by his friend this time. I already had a detention because I'd been late to school 4 times, so I just walked up to him and punched him in the gut, knocking the wind out of him, and slamming his friends head into the blackboard. The first kid starts crying and runs into the hall, all the while blinged out in his wanna-be gangster duds, and calls for the teacher.


Long story short: Teacher wasn't in the room to prove I had done it, the other kid was to afraid to said i did it, everyone else in the class hated him, sooo I got off with another detention.
 

Aft3rShock

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May 2, 2008
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Best one I can think of was in middle school:

This guy wanted to fight me because I was dating the girl he liked. I didn't know that he liked her, she didn't know that he liked her, and he had no claim to her whatsoever. I was the nice guy that got along with everyone, even if I was a little annoying and a little socially awkward (but hey, it was middle school). I kept to myself and didn't want trouble with anyone.

But I started dating this girl, which apparently crossed some line in his crazy little head, because he comes over to my house to challenge me. He even brought some friends along to watch.

As soon as I answer the door and come out he starts yelling at me about "taking his girl" and about how I'm a pussy because I won't fight him (because I was clueless as to what the hell was going on). He starts coming after me shoving me and calling me a pussy. I let him shove me a good half dozen times before I shoved him once to the ground.

He then proceeds to get up and pull a knife out of his pocket, which I got from him and threw into my bushes before proceeding to beat the crap out of him.

I really didn't want to fight him, but he wouldn't just leave. And I didn't want to hurt him, until he pulled out the knife. I don't play that game.

As an additional note: Knife or no knife, that was probably one of the easiest fights of my life, and I was deemed as a badass for the rest of middle school.
 

crudus

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Oct 20, 2008
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Well, back in 10th grade I was in JROTC. I was all dressed up in my shiny leather shoes ready for inspection. Some ass-hat decided to trip me which seriously scuffed one of my shoes. My grade depends on how shiny my shoes are. So I turned around to see his smug face laughing at me. I them grab him by his shirt and slam him into a locker and explain very calmly how that was very rude of him and that he should apologize for scuffing my shoe and possibly making me get a lower grade on inspection. He stuttered "sorry" with a nice look of fear in his eye as I continued on with my day to inspection.
 

Kiriona

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Apr 8, 2010
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Whenever my brother brings his brats down for the summer, we usually go to Johns Incredible Pizza, eat and then go screw around in the arcade. Well, I always take my card straight to the back where there's a shooting gallery. I know the secret to the guns: the alignments are shit, so you have to stick the gun up to your face and find the right angle. So everytime I go, I pack up a crap load of tickets and buy some neat stuff with them (last time I got a lava lamp. :))

Anyway, there's inevitably ALWAYS either a group of twelve year old boys, or some big macho asshole with his girlfriend who see me, a girl, kicking ass at the gallery and think they have to show off. I always end up out shooting them.

And here's an even BETTER story.

I was out late one night waiting for my ride home to come. I had a gun with me (since you never EVER go anywhere alone in this freaking city without a gun, especially if your a female). Then three guys came over and started harassing me (In the trying to get a cheap date' way.) I ignored them for about two minutes until one in particular tried to get physical. I grabbed his hand and pressed it to where I had my gun and asked him "Do you feel that?"

His face turned white and he nodded. Then I said "I'M GONNA SHOOT YOUR FUCKING BALLS OFF AND THEN STAPLE THEM TO YOUR FUCKING EARS!" All three mumbled a quick apology and took off running.
 

Booze Zombie

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Dec 8, 2007
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I think the best I got was some guy typing in all caps on Gametrailers and I reply to him "WHY ARE WE SHOUTING", it wasn't so much "putting him in his place" so much as laughing at a ridiculous point, I suppose.

Kiriona said:
His face turned white and he nodded. Then I said "I'M GONNA SHOOT YOUR FUCKING BALLS OFF AND THEN STAPLE THEM TO YOUR FUCKING EARS!" All three mumbled a quick apology and took off running.
At first I thought this might be an overreaction, but stopping and thinking about it, I can understand being outnumbered and just wanting to make people go away.

You've got "balls", for lack of a better term.
 

Daniel_Rosamilia

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Jan 17, 2008
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I don't really get into confrontations, but I had one that was pretty damn memorable:
I play the cello (for anyone who doesn't know, imagine a violin, but about 5 times larger), and am one of 3 people in the school, so we tend to attract a bit of attention.
Anyway, a typical tosspot at the school (build of a brick shithouse, about 6ft, ugly as a month-old turd) had made it his goal of sending me over the edge before the end of the year. He'd tried thwoing stuff at me, stalking me, sending crap to me over school e-mail, and anything else someone like his would try. Eventually he took it too far, and broke into my locker and stole some of my stuff, including a small carrybag, containing some diabetes things. I ran into him a few days after the incident, and he held up the carrybag and laughted at me, saying that I'd never get it back, not realising my cello was right next to me.

I had a hard case on my cello, to protect it, and thank God that was on when this happened. I grabbed the cello by the area around the neck and spun it around the bastard, smacking him in the knees, and anyone who's played a cello knows how damn heavy they are, and how solid the hard cases are. He went sprawling onto his back, upon where I turned, took the bag back and walked off smirking to myself.

Sadly, no-one was around, so the story wansn't spread.
 

Freedomario

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Jan 22, 2010
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In Middle-School a guy was constantly pissing me off, i don't think i did anything to him that day but the teacher told him to pass out papers he flipped me off right then and there, so i punched his face in, it was a good day.
 

sirpwnsalot65

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Mar 2, 2010
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i remember once this kid in my 5th grade class (that i hate with every fiber in my body by the way.) decided he would be mister funny guy and pretend to steal my bike from the school bike racks. (by this point you could guess i was quite upset.) i decided that since this person wouldn't understand kindly asking, firmly asking, or threatening, i would skip all of that jazz and get to the point. So, i ripped him off of the rack, threw himm to the ground, and if my bycycle wasn't still chained to the rack, there was a good chance i would run him over.
 

SnipErlite

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Aug 16, 2009
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Grahav said:
Sometimes I walk playing with keys in myhands and once I was in a dark bus stop and saw some mugger like fellows. I tried to cross over but a guy bigger than me started to demand money and my cell phone,I tried to ignore him but he grabbed my arm and asked:

"What do ya have in your hand?"

My free hand gripped firmly my keys and some MAD rage made me answer:

"MY FUCKING KEY!!!"

A friend of the guy said.

"Let him go, this guy is crazy..."

And to home I Went.
May I ask if you live around London? Because a mate of mine told me a story that's almost identical to this about a friend of a friend of theirs....
 

Grahav

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Mar 13, 2009
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SnipErlite said:
May I ask if you live around London? Because a mate of mine told me a story that's almost identical to this about a friend of a friend of theirs....
I live in Rio de Janeiro. Send to your mate's mate a thumbs up.

And the first times I had to deal with jerks, I did it wrong. Thing is, I have grown up :)
 

SnipErlite

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Aug 16, 2009
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Grahav said:
SnipErlite said:
May I ask if you live around London? Because a mate of mine told me a story that's almost identical to this about a friend of a friend of theirs....
I live in Rio de Janeiro. Send to your mate's mate a thumbs up.
Ahh fair enough, I thought you might have been them for a second.

Still, that was an awesome way of dealing with it. I'm so gonna do that from now on :)
 

Josh123914

They'll fix it by "Monday"
Nov 17, 2009
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Well I don't know if these story counts but it's quite entertaining =

I was sitting on the the bus, waiting for the bus to stop at the local bus stop with roughly a dozen others but the driver kept going, everyone was saying for him to stop the bus, there was no reply until finally I got off my seat walked towards the front and shouted to the bus driver 'IS THIS GUY DEAF?' the bus immediately stopped, I was scared shitless what he might do to me but 4-5 3rd years practically carried me off the bus cheering me on.
 

Girl With One Eye

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Jun 2, 2010
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I was always really quiet in school and people thought I was weird. One time in class some boy thought it would be funny to provoke me, right up until I turned around and punched him in the face. No-one bothered me again.
 

cyber_andyy

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Dec 31, 2008
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I have two.

In year 7, I think, an arse called mark tried to start on me in PE I slapped him round the face and the teacher was like "Nice one".

In year 9 Some moron had been annoying me for a few weeks. he sat in front of me. As we got ready to leave, we we're both standing behind our chairs, he tried to steal my calculator. his arm came forward, I put him in a martial arm lock. he was like "Sir sir!!" like the whiney fucker he is. And sir was like "whats going on" and I let go and was like "nothing sir".
 

TheYellowCellPhone

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Sep 26, 2009
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Some asshole had been picking on me the whole year. Despite constant detentions, warnings, and even a suspension he never let go. Despite me and a lot of other people reporting his ass and telling him to leave us be, he kept coming back just because he was hated.

So, I beat his up. Not hard, considering he was several inches shorter, didn't know how to fight and was a coward. Broke his nose, nearly his jaw. Got a week's suspension, nearly failed the grade sadly.

But the best part? I beat him up on his birthday. When I met him again, I told him "You ruined all of my days, so the time I get revenge it better be on your special day." The tit never bullied anyone again, and I don't think I've seen him since school had ended.
 

The_ModeRazor

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Jul 29, 2009
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I was 5 (i think). Walking down the street, this big dog started barking at me (from behind a fence of course), I stomped towards him and said "Kuss" (which is the Hungarian equivalent of shut up, the two s-es are pronounched like the sh in Shishkebab). So he did. And I felt really cool :)