I love surgery videos, and that didn't disgust me...
But on topic:
A lot of new Vegetarians who actually liked meat all along tend to find that tofu is not the satisfactory all-purpose meat replacement the had hoped for. It doesn't taste like meat, it doesn't have the texture of meat, etc. While excellent in most soups and Asiatic cooking, it doesn't really make for good ground beef or sausage. But here are some replacements I find useful:
Mushrooms and artichokes both offer a slightly meaty flavor and cook to a nice, firm texture. They also have the missing protein and absorb flavors fairly well.
Another good meat replacement can be eggplant, which cooks to have a a good "meat" or umami flavor when does right, (I actually like it better than meat in curries, casseroles, and most middle eastern foods.)
As for protein replacements, most people can't go wrong with beans, which are very palatable and can be adapted for a number of different kinds of recipes, especially with so many varieties of beans to choose from.
Onions and garlic cook together to have a high umami flavor content, and can give a boost to the "meaty" flavor of your cooking.
There are also some phenomenally good veggie patties in the market, that grill nicely when covered in olive oil and don't get horrendously dry and cracker-y. The Safeway brand is actually one of my favorites, though the Portabello mushroom burger by Boca is also a favorite.
If you don't miss the flavor of meat,then this was completely useless and you can stick to tofu. ^_^;