U.S. Government Denies Existence of Mermaids

[Evil Smurf]

Troll Government? What about unicorns?

 

[jklinders]

Not the first time the Discovery Channel has done something like this. They had a rather neat, albeit fictional thing on a few years ago about dragons. It was made to look like a real documentary but focused mainly on what dragons may have been and evolved from had they been real.

Not surprised they made another like it, even less surprising that people thought it was real.

They should work a little harder to emphasize the fiction behind the science. But then...less publicity.

 

[Jabberwock xeno]

Suspiciously quite on the subject of Bigfeet.

Of course:

Bigfoot and other cryptids (despite what the recent quiz here says) AREN'T mythical creatures: they are animals that may or may not exist, and if they do exist, are likely critically endangered.

The mountain gorilla, Opaki, komodo dragon, giant squid (which was even more of a myth) were all animals that few people thought were real at one point in time.

 

[DanDeFool]

This reminds me of Slender Man.

Spoiler

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/215/455/Slender_Man_by_Gaara_Monster.jpg?1323557313

A bit of modern folklore, invented by the SomethingAwful community. Apparently, after some of the pictures that had been modified to include the Slender Man, people actually started reporting sightings of it in real life.

Also, how a lot of people didn't realize that H.G. Wells' "War of the Worlds" radio broadcast wasn't a real news report of a war with aliens, and totally freaked out.

Bottom line, you can get some people to believe anything. Also, READ THE FINE PRINT.

 

[aba1]

Well there is the Giant Squid which lives deep in the ocean and is big enough to take down a sperm whale so it is essentially the kracken except it would never been seen anywhere near the surface unless dead and washed up somehow.

There's also fossil evidence for species of gigantic octopodes millions of years ago, and fuck knows there could well be something like a Kraken in that relatively unexplored thing we call the ocean.

They're only big enough to beat a sperm whale if the sperm whale doesn't see it coming and chow down on it xD They die from low pressure near the surface if I recall correctly, and our first evidence of them was inside a sperm whales stomach.

They definately hunt immature sperm whales though. Wish I could remember what that series on it was called.

We were likely watching the same thing I saw it years ago myself.

 

[Grimh]

Huh...

I don't think there has ever been a more appropriate time to let you all know that water is, in fact, wet.

 

[Hawk of Battle]

Either everyone in this thread is just being ironic and humourus, or very dense when asking why they've suddenly decided to state that mermaids aren't real. It even says in the article that a recent tv show came out that made it seem like mermaids were plausible, which prompted a lot of people to think that was true, so they've come out and said that no, the show is bullshit, because apparantly some people are stupid and needed reminding that some shit doesn't exist.

God the fact that I had to remind people to not be stupid because there are already plenty of people who are being stupid is now making ME feel stupid!

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

Why is this even a thing? Everyone knows this is just a cover up and that mermaids are real. I don't see the government has to lie to people to get what they want.

 

[Arrogancy]

Why must The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration of the United States Department of Commerce always dash my dreams...

its always them

Flying Dutchman?, Kraken?, didn't exist according to them, and now Mermaids?

Damn you The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration of the United States Department of Commerce, damn you for making my life a little sadder once again.

*cries into a martini*

The Flying Dutchman (the ship) actually is real. It was found abandoned somewhere in the North Atlantic in the 1600s, I believe. If you're referring to the Spongebob character, well, he isn't real.

 

[Greni]

This can only mean one thing: They've got agents in government.
Any day now I'm telling you. The folklore halfbreed revolution draws near!

 

[skim172]

Nice use of tax payer funded wages.

God I hate the government.

I'm curious to know - exactly how much money do you imagine that the NOAA spent to have an intern draft up a five minute press release stating the obvious? The most amount of thought and time that went into this was probably a grad student looking up Wikipedia on a smart phone during his lunch break.

Let me guess, you also think NASA makes up 20% of the federal budget.


The NOAA made a public statement mainly because Discovery Planet's press release and advertising material named their office several times, lending a completely fictitious documentary an air of authority and implying that the NOAA had some kind of evidence supporting their fantasy. Many viewers didn't realize that the mermaid documentary was fiction - perhaps because it repeatedly states "This is fact" in its press material (if you read more closely, you realize it only means that the preceding sentence about ocean sonar or something is factual). As a result, they were getting phone calls and emails and decided to nip this rumor before it got more entrenched, and they had to spend the next fifty years denying stupidity.

 

[duchaked]

gee I was getting worried too...wheww

now I can go swimming in the ocean without feeling endangered :}

 

[bat32391]

Pfff what idiot. Who would waste time looking for a mermaid when we should all be looking for the extremely dangerous Manbearpig.

 

[ReinWeisserRitter]

I demand clarification on the existence of yetis, swamp monsters, and the tooth fairy, U.S. government. I cannot rest until I know the truth.

 

[KingsGambit_v1legacy]

Try and cover it up all you like, we all know mermaids are real. I was told this by a friend who has a friend that met a Siren who knew a mermaid. Next they'll be trying to deny bigfoot exists.

 

[roostuf]

you know what, i didnt believe in mermaids-that is until i read this. now i know they are hiding something...

 

[Upbeat Zombie]

Well who was this for? Everybody knows mermaids don't exist...

It's the mermen you have to watch out for!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4ttdHDZiEU

 

[Al-Bundy-da-G]

Thank god for that, I can swim in the sea again.

Now you just have to watch out for the dolphins.
Roving gangs of dolphins.

Actually I do, there are several documented cases of dolphins attempted rape on humans.

Dolphins are assholes. Male dolphins will often separate a female from its pack and keep it from escaping until it mates with them.

Kinda like Saturday night at the bar.