Ultrajoe still owns no new Video games, and so a review of WH40K ensues.

[Ultrajoe]

I think they cannot assault if they fleet, and fleeters get an extra dice, and can assault.

i would be happy if non-fleeters could assault under the new rules.

"Dude, my heavy bolters are going to rip the shit out of your hormagaunts next turn"
"Or not, move 6, fleet 6, assault 12"
"Oh... fuck"

mmmm... glorious.... (that said, having hormagaunts close the distance a D6 a turn for no extra points is ball tighteningly delicious.)

You ever played against Nids Rain? our battle would be glorious.

 

[Saskwach]

My younger self understood your second review but my older self nods sagely at the first. Honestly, RPGs are cheaper and have more possibilities for the type of gamer I am (the characters and setting always interested me more than the power gaming munchkins who are 90% of GW's market).
Insert Saskwach's obligatory GW rant that you've all heard small pieces of.

Hey Joe loved your review

Hey Joe? Where?

 

[Ultrajoe]

Hey Joe loved your review

Hey Joe? Where?

i share the feeling, it reads ultrajoe for a reason... how many times do i need to say it, i'm not your average joe!

just kidding, abbreviations are a sign of familiarity, and to think i am familiar with my fellow escapists makes me proud inside *sniff*... im touched...

 

[PurpleRain]

You ever played against Nids Rain? our battle would be glorious.

They would be epic. Your Hive Tyrant is a psyker no? If that's the case, my Haemonculus has a Crucible of Malediction which kills you outright on a failed leadership roll. Haha! Your soul will be my play thing!

 

[Ultrajoe]

You ever played against Nids Rain? our battle would be glorious.

They would be epic. Your Hive Tyrant is a psyker no? If that's the case, my Haemonculus has a Crucible of Malediction which kills you outright on a failed leadership roll. Haha! Your soul will be my play thing!

You hope, the crucible is surprisingly unhelpful against the swarm. Many DE players have cast it only to have the tyrant or a warrior eat his head off.

That said, when it works, it makes me ever so pissed.

DE are like my mortal foes, i think the two armies are equally matched, the DE's unsuited weaponry (you kill power armor expertly, the swarm can mob you with numbers i find, feel free to correct, but i do play DE on occasion) is offset by your own numbers and shockingly fast mobility.

I never truly know who has the upper hand, witches kill the warriors, as my genestealers kill your warriors... the carnifex and the talos do bloody battle, lictors ambush scourges, mandrakes screw over my biovores, raveners slaughter almost anything you have, only to be gutted the turn they appear!

Both armies love close combat but have low armor values! squads meet and almost completely evaporate into 2 models of the winning squad (initiative whores, both our armies are) and shooting is matched with my blasts versus your splinters!!

The Devourer VS the Crusaders of Commoragh! always a spectacular battle.

EDIT: on another note, the crucible pisses me off, steal my soul eh? I AM BY DEFINITION SOULESS, AND YOU ARE INNEFECTIVE!!! FLUFF FAIL. But that does not stop it happening on occasion and making me mad beyond reason, it shouldn't work!

 

[PurpleRain]

You hope, the crucible is surprisingly unhelpful against the swarm. Many DE players have cast it only to have the tyrant or a warrior eat his head off.

That said, when it works, it makes me ever so pissed.

DE are like my mortal foes, i think the two armies are equally matched, the DE's unsuited weaponry (you kill power armor expertly, the swarm can mob you with numbers i find, feel free to correct, but i do play DE on occasion) is offset by your own numbers and shockingly fast mobility.

I never truly know who has the upper hand, witches kill the warriors, as my genestealers kill your warriors... the carnifex and the talos do bloody battle, lictors ambush scourges, mandrakes screw over my biovores, raveners slaughter almost anything you have, only to be gutted the turn they appear!

Both armies love close combat but have low armor values! squads meet and almost completely evaporate into 2 models of the winning squad (initiative whores, both our armies are) and shooting is matched with my blasts versus your splinters!!

The Devourer VS the Crusaders of Commoragh! always a spectacular battle.

EDIT: on another note, the crucible pisses me off, steal my soul eh? I AM BY DEFINITION SOULESS, AND YOU ARE INNEFECTIVE!!! FLUFF FAIL. But that does not stop it happening on occasion and making me mad beyond reason, it shouldn't work!

Every animal has a soul, even the Necrons (though little they have). I guess yours is just as extention of the hive mind. But I do animals do cost a lot in Commoragh for gladiator battles. I could fetch a hefty price for yours.

Don't worry, my army doesn't have any witches. I've given mine a more 'warlord' feel to it commanding disipline in battle. I don't think I will get any as much as I really want Warp Beasts.

Ah well, my Haemonculous is surrounded by gortesques so you'll have to tear through them before managing to take out my stinger wielding mad doctor.

A Talos Vs Carnafex battle would be very epic. I've used it to take down tanks and dreadnaughts, but of course dreadnaughts have been known to take it down as well.

 

[Ultrajoe]

Its Canon that all Tyranid creatures are:

a) puppeted flesh-bags (Aka. the Tyrant and any Hive-dependent creature)
b) instinct driven machines (gaunts, lictors)

The Dark Eldar, i believe, prize Genestealers above all other arena combat animals, and capture, serilise (so they don't attract the hive-mind or allow the eldar to track them with the signal) and train them extensively. Carnifexes are also a great reward, as they can regenerate and become more skilled by the battle.

No witches? my heart both soars and falls simultaneously.

Aha it says! nothing to out-chop the 'stealers!
Oh no, it says, even more guns...

I really have no idea how that battle would end, you are Australian yes? if i may enquire by PM (i will) are you up for a game?

 

[Fire Daemon]

Dark Eldar and Tyranids huh... yeah their good... I suppose... *polishes Grey Knight Grand Master*

They've already brought out the new Space Marine Codex. The new rule book is comming out soon. (see above)

I heard they are redoing the Space Marines Codex for the new rules.

 

[Ultrajoe]

Grey knights? i own a few...

But let me assure you, no army is more swamped by the devourer than the 'emperors finest'

Oho, 5 models to one! the sheer exhilaration of surrounding each knight with a forest of claws 5 inches deep!

oh, tis magnificent... that said, i would love to ply you if the opportunity ever arose.

 

[PurpleRain]

No witches? my heart both soars and falls simultaneously.

Aha it says! nothing to out-chop the 'stealers!
Oh no, it says, even more guns...

Hmm, I'm still undecided. I mean, my Mandrakes can cough up 3 attacks each when charging into assault which, in one round, has destroyed many a squad.

But Splinter Rifles aren't that overly poweful:
24 inches, Str3, Ap5. The only good thing is that they're Rapid Fire.
Splinter Cannons on the other hand:
24 inches, Str4, Ap5 and Assault 4. That's why I always have two per squad.

 

[Fire Daemon]

Only five to one?!? I would have thought you could bring more than that. I invite you to attack me in close combat. You'll meet the pointy end of a Nemisis Force Weapon yet.

..they are really expensive to make though... really expensive.

 

[Ultrajoe]

Only five to one?!? I would have thought you could bring more than that. I invite you to attack me in close combat. You'll meet the pointy end of a Nemisis Force Weapon yet.

..they are really expensive to make though... really expensive.

Only 5 to one? do you know how many attacks that is?

 

[Fire Daemon]

Only five to one?!? I would have thought you could bring more than that. I invite you to attack me in close combat. You'll meet the pointy end of a Nemisis Force Weapon yet.

..they are really expensive to make though... really expensive.

Only 5 to one? do you know how many attacks that is?

50, 100 if you charge. I have a rather cocky faith in The Aegis.

I have plans to take down large numbers, it tends to work well.

 

[Ultrajoe]

Only five to one?!? I would have thought you could bring more than that. I invite you to attack me in close combat. You'll meet the pointy end of a Nemisis Force Weapon yet.

..they are really expensive to make though... really expensive.

Only 5 to one? do you know how many attacks that is?

50, 100 if you charge. I have a rather cocky faith in The Aegis.

I have plans to take down large numbers, it tends to work well.

oh no, not against Nids it is not.

Try 150, striking first.... i don't mean to start an argument but you would need allot of faith in the emperor to survive that.

But i must admit this is not the best scenario, against the GK, i wouldn't play masses of gaunts, Raveners baby, hydralisks on speed.

 

[Dracomancer]

*Looks over at Ork army in dire need of a new paint job. Soon, my pretties, soon...*

I quite liked the review, it was short but raised a couple of good points, particularly the way the hobby is regarded by outsiders who see the copious amounts of money that have to be spent even before you start collecting an army (paints, glue, rulebooks etc). One thing I feel you could have given more of a mention to was the general atmoshpere of the 40kiverse, which works exceedingly well in creating a dank, depressing feel to each conflict, aiding the imagination aspect of the game even further (A summary of said background, presented in a manner far better than I could manage myself at present [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Warhammer40000?from=Main.Warhammer40K]). But as I said, on the whole its a pretty solid review, good show .

 

[Drong]

The new rule book is out, my brother got the special edition copy from those mail order trolls and it does look mighty pretty with a big purity seal on the second page that fits into a cut out section of the thick cardboard of the first.

Rule changes, bah I don't care I quit the game ages ago and let him store all my miniatures for me (i.e. he has the hassle of housing them and looking after them but i can still paint them and stuff whenever I get the creative urge) he cleaned up very well when we were kids though, all my friends used to play and as they quit my brother brought all their bits for rock bottom prices, still doesn't keep him from wasting an obscene amount of money on it, his Warhound Titan alone cost him a couple of hundred quid.

Works out well for me though, if I get bored I can just dig through his bit's box and make mutants for my tezzenchian horde (with liberal use of green stuff) and if i fancy a game he's got nearly every race covered to a greater or lesser extent.

Still I agree it's a total money pit and despair at the amount of money he wastes on it, I do really like the universe though as it's so brutal and unforgiving and though most of the black library books read like authors first attempts a couple of them are really good.

 

[Ultrajoe]

Still I agree it's a total money pit and despair at the amount of money he wastes on it, I do really like the universe though as it's so brutal and unforgiving and though most of the black library books read like authors first attempts a couple of them are really good.

this is something i should have touched on:

The books are touch and go, you can range from wallowing pits of literacy to the epic story of the Horus Heresy!

I recommend the black library to any fantasy or Sci-Fi fan.

But just like Star-Wars novels, it can be anything from mind blowing to balls beating. Try a few out even if you don't play the game, its a fascinating universe.

 

[Saskwach]

Still I agree it's a total money pit and despair at the amount of money he wastes on it, I do really like the universe though as it's so brutal and unforgiving and though most of the black library books read like authors first attempts a couple of them are really good.

this is something i should have touched on:

The books are touch and go, you can range from wallowing pits of literacy to the epic story of the Horus Heresy!

I recommend the black library to any fantasy or Sci-Fi fan.

But just like Star-Wars novels, it can be anything from mind blowing to balls beating. Try a few out even if you don't play the game, its a fascinating universe.

Eisenhorn fuck yeah! Gaunt's Ghosts too.

 

[Conartist]

Your review was a great read!
Nice touch with the FAQ and how you cant smell.

 

[The Lyre]

Quirky review; liked it, but I can't really relate to it - I've tried 40K twice now, simply because I love the universe, but just find it too much of a drain on both time and money...and my sanity, I tried Chaos and Nids, neither of which I found easy to build and paint - whoever designed a metal bloody Carnifex that defied even the mighty grasp of superglue needs his balls cut off.

I've just always felt that to pay that much for what is basically a very complex RP with models seemed a little, well, actually, a BIG waste.

I love the books and the games, but the models are an ever tempting black abyss that swallows my wallet and my time. When you can play an Rp on a forum for the cost of the broadband, it doesn't really compare in my opinion.