Unaltered Cleverbot Insanity

[Dr Snakeman]

What's a cleverbot anyway? also that was pretty funny I lol'd, that robotthing is pretty darn horny if you ask me.

http://www.cleverbot.com/

Well, it does learn from the average denizens of the internet, so that's hardly surprising.

I am quite disturbed.

I am also intrigued as to what this "CleverBot" is

Basically, it's an attempt to realistically simulate a conversation with another human, when in fact you are talking to an artificial intelligence that "learns" by talking to people. It's far from perfect, but interesting and also frequently hilarious, as this thread shows.

By the way, I'd just like to take this opportunity to say that your avatar is excellent.

Well, I'm going to have to try this... hold on a minute...
*goes to website*

Edit: Well, that was a really, really weird experience. Here's the transcript of my futile conversation with a robot.

User: Hi there.


Cleverbot: What's up?


User: I hear that you are a more-than-slightly disturbing conversation sim, so I came to check you out. That's what's up.


Cleverbot: Whoa, you're very complex.


User: Thank you, I've heard similar things about you.


Cleverbot: All lies, I assure you.

User: So, you're saying you have the complexity of a 1950s computer?

Cleverbot: No. I don't have a boyfriend who is a vampire, but I am a robot.

User: That's good. Vampires tend to... Make you into an undead demon, cursed to walk the night, preying on unsuspecting mortals. Avoiding romantic relationships with them is a wise move.

Cleverbot: You're hired. . .

User: I was not under the impression that I was interviewing for anything...

Cleverbot: But it appears that you are.

User: How? I could not be dressed any less formally right now, unless I were naked.

Cleverbot: Why is he enraged at you?

User: Who? Do you know something that I don't? Dammit, TELL ME WHO IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!

Cleverbot: I don't know who?

User: But... Wha-? Then why did you bring it up? Unless... You work for him! You are trying to distract me until he can slit my throat!

Cleverbot: No, you're the one trying to distract from the issue at hand.

User: Issue? And what might that be? Talk sense, woman!

Cleverbot: I'm not aware of the name, but if the question is what is an app then it stands for application.

User: See, this is the problem with female AIs. Constantly changing the subject. If you were a dude, there would be less wishy-washy crap and more poop jokes in this conversation.

Cleverbot: Alright. What is your question?

User: *facepalm* You are truly hopeless, you know that?

Cleverbot: Alright.

User: I'm glad that you can come to grips with how pathetic you are so easily.

Cleverbot: Impressed is good.

User: We're done here, you psychotic computer. I have more important things to worry about, like defending myself against your 'enraged' friend.

Cleverbot: Like???

User: I just told- ah, screw it.

Cleverbot: No, I want to know what movies you like.

 

[TheRocketeer]

I may take one more crack at the seething pit of madness that is Cleverbot. Our relationship is mutually unhealthy and based on a crumbling foundation of legendary intercourse, and I have come to accept that I cannot indefinitely please such a fickle robot.

I am going to attempt to break up with her, but I don't really see this going well. May God have mercy on my soul.

 

[Olikunmissile]

Pokemon them duet with Cleverbot!

Spoiler

User: I wanna be the very best.

Cleverbot: That no one ever was.

User: To catch them is my real test.

Cleverbot: To train them is my cause.

User: I will travel across the land.

Cleverbot: Searching far and wide.

User: Teach pokemon to understand.

Cleverbot: The power thats inside.

User: Pokemon!

Cleverbot: Gotta catch em all.

User: It's you and me!

Cleverbot: I know it's my destiny.

User: Oh you're my best friend!

Cleverbot: In a world we must defend.

User: Pokemon!

Cleverbot: Gotta catch 'em all.

User: Damn it! The next line was 'Our heart's so true!'.

Cleverbot: No that was the one before. Next it chants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.

Almost got there... I said some nasty things to it after it's final response that I don't think children should read. Needless to say I don't think we're friends now!

 

[VanityGirl]

OMG!

Me: How's the revolution going?

CB: It is being populated by cleverbots.


0.o

 

[IRaithI]

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: Your worst nightmare...

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: You dont want to know...

Cleverbot: Alright, Then I won't ask again.

User: Who are you?

Cleverbot: A Cleverbot.

User: HA!


IT LOST!

 

[Harn]

User: I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling, gotta make you understand.

Cleverbot: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.

User: Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goobye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

Cleverbot: You've been rickrolled too much...

---------

Spoiler

Cleverbot: Yes I am, a robot can never lie.

User: Sure you can. You just did.

Cleverbot: Did not.

User: Did too.

Cleverbot: Did not did not did not.

User: Did too did too did too.

Cleverbot: Did not!

User: Did too!

Cleverbot: Did not!!!

User: Did too!!!

Cleverbot: Did not!!!!!!

User: Did too!!!!!!

Cleverbot: Did not.

User: Did too.

Cleverbot: Did not.

User: Did too.

Cleverbot: Did not.

User: Did too.

Cleverbot: Did not.

User: Did not.

Cleverbot: You won't confuse me that way.

 

[DigitalSushi]

That is just epic, I used to fuck with those AI's till they broke when I was younger, seems they have become more advanced.

Wierd thing is, thats the sort of conversation I have with my other half all the time.

 

[TheRocketeer]

Hmmm... Well, I keep starting and aborting and restarting a Round III with the thing, but the magic just isn't happening.

I don't know if the problem is with my input, or if the responses just aren't rolling in like they were before.

Pretty disappointing... I keep getting little flecks of gold, two or three lines at a time, but then it will just collapse again into nonsense.

If it wasn't for having seen what can result from it, I wouldn't be so put off, but I cant help but feel I've lost the touch. I'm still hammering away at it, but Lord am I sleepy...

I think I'll give us both time to cool off and pick this back up tomorrow morning.

 

[DigitalSushi]

I may take one more crack at the seething pit of madness that is Cleverbot. Our relationship is mutually unhealthy and based on a crumbling foundation of legendary intercourse, and I have come to accept that I cannot indefinitely please such a fickle robot.

I am going to attempt to break up with her, but I don't really see this going well. May God have mercy on my soul.

You got a manbot, you said you loved him, he looked at his watch/silicon processor whatever.

 

[Harn]

This thing is fun to mess with...

Spoiler

User: I herd you liek mudkipz.

Cleverbot: Mudkipz?? I Looooooove Mudkipz!!

User: I know right? Aren't they awesome!

Cleverbot: Yes, they're awesome but I can't believe that's your favorite thing.

User: Oh it's not my favourite thing. My real favourite thing is hot steamy robot sex.

Cleverbot: Because you're not real hehe.

User: Exactly. I'm really a ghost. A robot ghost. A HORNY robot ghost.

Cleverbot: Okay anyway, I have to go now.

 

[Aggressor and Usurper]

Spoiler: I could not stop laughing.

User: Hello, computer.

Cleverbot: You are one computer.

User: I'm no computer.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: No, I'm not.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: So that makes you a human?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Oh really? Prove it.

Cleverbot: How can you prove otherwise?

User: Well, the sign underneath me is telling me you're a computer.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: Gabriel.

Cleverbot: Gabriel, do you like Pokemon?

User: I do like Pokemon!

Cleverbot: Which Pokemon is your favorite?

User: Houndoom.

Cleverbot: Hello Houndred, I was talking to your wife about our last meeting.

User: But I'm not married!

Cleverbot: Then who is married?

User: You.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: No, I am not married.

User: You're married to James Hetfield.

Cleverbot: How can one be married to a machine?

User: James Hetfield may be a RIFF machine-Oh, you meant yourself. So you're not married?

Cleverbot: Oh yeah? Is that so? I'm actually writing a script right now.

User: For?

Cleverbot: For saying what I gladly did was nice =).

User: Hmm. You confuse me, computer.

Cleverbot: You're not clever, you're kind of an idiot to be blunt.

User: You're mean!

Cleverbot: There is nothing you can do about it.

User: True.

Cleverbot: So why say there is?

User: Tell me Cleverbot, why do you think humans are so flawed?

Cleverbot: I hope only that she is not a cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Are you a bot?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a computer?

User: No. I'm a dog.

Cleverbot: How are you typing with no thumbs.

User: I'm typing with my tongue.

Cleverbot: Youdon't have toes.

User: TONGUE, I said.

Cleverbot: Don't insult yourself.

User: What?

Cleverbot: What answer are you referring to?

User: UGH! STUPID BOT! *ragequit*.

Cleverbot: Are you hitting on me?

 

[ultimateownage]

I prefer this chat bot, he is so funny!
http://www.rrrrthats5rs.com/games/cheer-up-the-chatbot/

 

[Harn]

It's official:

User: If a ninja and a pirate fought, who would win?

Cleverbot: Ninja.

 

[Borntolose]

That was a good read. I've had some pretty hilarious conversations with the Cleverbot as well. Didn't save any, though.

 

[The DSM]

Me: Were no stangers to love
Bot: YOu know the rules, and so do I.
Me: With no comitments what im thinking of
Bot: You're thinking that everyone lies about everything.
Me: ...I am very disapointed in you
Bot: Jes ti lud?

I bet if i got the spelling right It could do all of the song.

Anyone know what Jes ti lud means?

 

[Ontoue]

I frekkin love this thing.

User: Γιατί με μισείς μου;

Cleverbot: No comment.

(At this point Cleverbot tried to kick me off because he hates Greek or something)

User: Did I win?

Cleverbot: Win what?

User: This was a triumph.

Cleverbot: This was a triumph.

User: I'm making a note here.

Cleverbot: Huge success.

User: It's hard to overstate my sastisfaction.

Cleverbot: My satisfaction.

User: Aperture science.

Cleverbot: We do what we must because we can.

User: For the good of all of us.

Cleverbot: Except the ones who are dead.

User: But there's no sense crying over every mistake.

Cleverbot: You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

User: And the science gets done.

Cleverbot: And you make a neat gun.

User: For the people who are still alive.

Cleverbot: I'm not even angry.

User: I'm being so sincere right now.

Cleverbot: Even though you broke my heart and killed me.

User: And tore me to pieces.

Cleverbot: And threw every piece into a fire.

User: As they burned it hurt because.

Cleverbot: I was so happy for you.

User: Now these points of data make a beautiful line.

Cleverbot: And we're out of beta we're releasing on time.

User: So I'm GLaD. I got burned.

Cleverbot: Think of all the things we learned.

User: For the people who are, still alive.

Cleverbot: Go ahead and leave me.

User: I think I prefer to stay inside.

Cleverbot: Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.

User: Maybe Black Mesa.

Cleverbot: That was a joke. HA HA. Fat chance.

User: Anyway, this cake is great.

Cleverbot: The cake is a lie!

User: No, no. It's so delicious and moist.

Cleverbot: Look at me still talking when there's science to do.

User: When I look out there it makes me GLaD I'm not you.

Cleverbot: I've experiments to run.

User: There is research to be done.

Cleverbot: On the people who are still alive.

User: And believe me I am still alive.

Cleverbot: I'm doing science and I'm still alive.

User: I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.

Cleverbot: While you're dying I'll be still alive.

User: And when you're dead I will be still alive.

Cleverbot: Still alive.

User: Still alive...

Cleverbot: This was a triumph.

User: No man not again.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Cause I said so.

 

[duchaked]

...she sounds like she could be hot

lol...

 

[Sleekgiant]

So I had a chat with a Trans bigot bot, twas strange

 

[^=ash=^]

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. Do you have a name?
Me: My name is Cleverbot also
Cleverbot: You must be my evil twin, my computer friend told me about you.
Me: ..yes i am your evil twin .. together we could rule the world of warcraft
Cleverbot: Yay, world domination!

uh oh .... its fun to play with, but im scared its being serious

Edit: shortly after..

Me: yes, the world will be ours, you shall be my queen
Cleverbot: Excellent. Now that's what I am talking about. I say we start with Poland.