Saelune said:
Whether they like it or not, when you are famous, you are a representation of whatever you are. And honestly, I DO think being famous means you owe more to the community. Not that I think anything people do in your name is your fault (such as kids looking up to bad role models that clearly should not or are not trying to be such) but who you are and what you do with that has bigger effects than people may realize. Plus we need better transgender representation besides Bruce Jenner since he is a shitty person (Yes, I am being intentionally disrespectful to his identity since he is a bigot and thus a hypocrite).
The thing here is, just because someone does something that makes them famous, does not mean that people are free to meddle in their personal lives, at all. People do have the right to keep their personal lives, well just that, personal. Just because someone did something that makes them notable isn't an excuse to invade their personal lives, by extension they're not obligated to share personal information if they don't want to. Now we do need better trans representation than Caitlyn Jenner, but that doesn't automatically mean another trans person has to step up against their will either. It's massively unethical, unfair, and shows a total lack of empathy to make someone's uncomfortable personal issues public just because they're famous. That applies double if such a desire comes from a place of politics, because then you're throwing a person under the bus so that they can fulfill your own political objectives. Again any trans celebrity does not owe it to the community to be public about their identity, to serve as an activist, or to be an example for others. It's a choice, we should be perfectly fine with people not wanting to take on that burden, even if they are an out, or closeted trans celebrity.
A side note, in spite of Caitlyn being a bigoted self serving idiot, I'm not going to disrespect her identity. If we can dismiss each other's identities out of hand in such a way, that's gives anti-trans bigots validation in them doing the same thing to all of us. Hell a good example of why this is wrong is a recent trans pageant winner in Scotland was stripped of her title for wearing boxers and a t-shirt. One of the most important parts of trans acceptance is getting past the idea of what makes someone "trans enough. This sort of divisiveness feeds the double standards used to invalidate us, which this Robot Hugs comic illustrates perfectly. [http://www.robot-hugs.com/double-standards/]
Saelune said:
What about say, Obama? While he cannot hide his ethnicity the way LGBT people can hide their gender/sexuality, would it be ok if he could? If he was say, ashamed of being black? Now all black Americans know they can be president, at least as far as their race is concerned. May seem silly but any young trans people who want to be major film makers now have 2 examples of such.
You already pointed out why this is apples and oranges actually, Obama cannot hide his African parentage. A bigger difference is that society no longer tells ethnic minorities they're abominations, which is something that still happens to GSM folk. A lot of GSM folk are ashamed of who they are because society tells them to be ashamed, because society actively demonizes us. In such an environment it's not right to ask someone to be a role model if they feel they can't handle the strain, or the danger that being a role model currently requires.
Saelune said:
Maybe I should also make mention that I'm transgendered myself and know the feeling of being the center of unwanted attention for what I am. I know its hard and stressful, but I don't have a fanbase to fall back on. Just got myself. Id love more celebrities I respected that I could look at and feel like I'm not so strange.
I'm fairly certain any trans person whose out to anyone knows what that situation feels like, myself included. Still it might be a bit premature to say that people like the Wachowski sisters have their fan base to fall back on, when a lot of fans vehemently screamed about a sense of betrayal when Lana came out. As much as we both want celebrities to look up to who share our situation, because of the difficulty of being trans, I'm not going to demand them to be out if they're not willing to be. This Robot Hugs illustrates coming out and why some people have a harder time doing it than others. [http://www.robot-hugs.com/closets/] We have to respect the journeys that our GSM fellows are taking, they're not always the same, and if we don't respect them now, then we can't expect cis and hetero folk to respect them in the future.
zelda2fanboy said:
KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
Well the biggest drivers of suicide amongst trans folk are: The inability to transition, especially medically. Losing the support of friends and families. Losing one's job and/or being evicted from their homes for being trans, this is also paired with the fact that in most of the US trans folk can also be denied housing and employment opportunities for being trans.
In all honesty being outed as trans has a serious tendency to destroy people's entire lives, even more so than being outed as gay, or lesbian can do that. People who are open to lesbian and gay folk often do not extend that same acceptance, or even tolerance for trans folk. Suicide might not be a valid reaction to being outed as trans, but for many it's the only option they're left with. Just look at the pressure this year alone in US state level bathroom bills, designed to put trans folk in danger by putting us in the wrong bathroom.
Yes, all of those things are horrible, but they don't justify suicide. They're killing someone's brother or sister. They're killing someone's child. Move away, cut off your family, live a lie, or scream and yell. Don't kill yourself. If you feel any of those things justify self homicide, then seek medical attention immediately.
I didn't say they justified suicide, what I said is for many suicide can become their only option. Worse still, don't try to guilt people for feeling suicidal, that's not helpful at all, you don't make someone on the verge of taking their own life feel
even worse! Also here's a cute one, a lot of trans folk get inappropriate treatment by the medical system, if not just being out right rejected, even if they seek help for a suicidal mental state. Trust me on one thing, living a lie is a fate worse than death for GSM, it's living in your own personal hell, where you can never have even the slightest happiness. Never, ever, EVER suggest that a trans, gay, bi, or etc person should do something like that, that's the best way to
drive them into suicide.
Saelune said:
You criticize suicide for "killing ones family" but suggest cutting said family off as a better alternative? Unless you are a parent with kids to be responsible for, suicide is kind of a persons own right to choose to do or not do. Not that its ever the best result, but its not really other's place to say who has the right to end their own life. Better off just trying to be helpful and considerate to people at risk rather than harshly judging their decision if it gets too much.
I agree, as I just said, making someone feel even worse isn't going to prevent them from thinking about, attempting to, or successfully committing suicide. In fact that's probably the best way to make those things happen.