Universal truths

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May 7, 2008
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1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

24) You never ever run out of salt.

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
 

Cpt_Oblivious

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Jan 7, 2009
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Responses:

2) And I'm always comforting them.

31) I'm so sorry!!

Additions:

37. The guy who'll eat anything, won't eat that.

38. Anyone with a printer 2 rooms away will run to it to try and be faster than electricity.
 

Anarchemitis

New member
Dec 23, 2007
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38. For every reaction demanded, requires action of some force or party to initiate. Friggen lazy brothers.
39. Movie actors are grossly overpaid and Theater actors are grossly underpaid
 

fenrizz

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Feb 7, 2009
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An oldie, but as I've recently rediscovered: Love hurts!
and not just a little...
 

Biek

New member
Mar 5, 2008
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27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
What about seeing the water rise closer to the edge after flushing a toilet?
 

Maileigh

New member
Mar 14, 2009
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sorry user name taken. said:
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
This one is quite true. There have been many times when I've forgotten my sharpener but made it through class because I had my exacto knife.

10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
Indeed, it's like Taboo or something.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
Hah it's a mystery passed down through generations.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
Can't say a dog, but a sparrow flew into the class room and crashed straight into my head once.

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
.... Try having your mum actually BE your school teacher...

28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
Seriously! I have, like, 50+ of the damn things and I end up discovering more every day!

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
Try a 4-pronged Eagle Eye fish hook! Owwies!

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.
I turned into my Dad when I turned down an all expense paid day with mum at the mall to go with Dad to a classic car show.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
All three of them! I never got the damn thing back either!
 

Abedeus

New member
Sep 14, 2008
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About 26) - If your dog is sick, this shows your sensitive side.

I had to carry mine for over a month, 3 stories tall building, up and down. Thank God I started going to a gym, I wouldn't be able to carry her... Also, she got better and now can finally walk on her own.


Dunno what x), but this:

"If someone is wearing a black trenchcoat, you know he's going to be kickass."
 

TheBluesader

New member
Mar 9, 2008
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72) Skipping numbers if fun!
73) I am the god of rock and roll.
74) You are not cool until you've downloaded at least two Korpiklaani [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIc4VHxU7iM] albums on iTunes.
75) God wouldn't ignore you if he thought you were cool.
76) Gaming is better than sex a firm 86% of the time.
77) The Internet is an ILLUSION! AH, ha ha ha ha!
 

Fairee

New member
Mar 25, 2009
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There are several of those I disagree with, in fact too many for me to go through each of them and point out why it's wrong. (And of course certain ones I have no idea about because I'm a girl). Obviously our lives have been totally different. Interesting.
 

Studd_Jozz

New member
Mar 11, 2009
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42) IS that answer to Life, the Universe and Everything.

43) Everyone has, at some point, pissed in their bed.

44) You're either a pyromaniac or you are terrified by fire.
 

SmilingKitsune

New member
Dec 16, 2008
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sorry user name taken. said:
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

24) You never ever run out of salt.

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
I don't think my picture is working, poop.